What Pumps the Blood (Faster)
by Pinboo
Summary: [Completed] The moment Kamui fired his bullet to Soyo was the last thing he remembered about her. And he thought it stopped there. (But it did not)
1. Synapse

Soyo did not particularly see things in black or white (and how could she, when her soul was tinted in between?), but there were things that she could easily group to the either side of the firm line.

Blatant declaration or not, that ginger-haired guy was indeed the devil's prodigy –anybody could tell. In Soyo's case, the classification of him as an unholy existence was supported by too many facts: he grinned in battlefield; he finished those _shinobis_ who were supposed to be his allies; he shared Okita's kind of gaze (but Okita had Kondo as a filter and line of reasoning –and this brought a difference), but mainly –

" _So relax. If you're saying you can only cut down villain…"_

–it was the bullet aimed straight to her heart that formed an indisputable argument.

"… _I'm one hell of a villain_ ," he promised.

Soyo did not always easily group someone as a villain, but Kamui was an easy exception.

* * *

Kamui registered limited things in his memory.

He remembered his favorite foods; he remembered the humid apartment and the annoying cries of that brat of a sister; he remembered the satisfaction of officially defeating his father; he remembered the discomfort of staring into his mother's weak eyes (but he could never remember his mother's face, he did not know why); he remembered the nicknames of the interesting people he vowed to crush ( _the white-haired samurai, Shinsuke, the earth policeman_ ); he sometimes recalled Abuto's warnings (which he never adhered to). Kamui remembered plenty of things actually, but he selected them, only those which mattered.

His trained eyes caught the brief movement of the intricate-patterned kimono which swayed as its wearer made a panicked run for her life. He associated her with a well-based assumption that she was their target's little sister and made some prediction on how many seconds she would have left to live. He admitted he extended the observation slightly after that –stopping at the thought that she was a hinder to his exciting soon-to-be fight with the policeman-disguised murderer. The moment he fired the bullet to her was the last thing Kamui remembered about her.

He thought it stopped there.

( _But it did not_ )

* * *

 **What Pumps the Blood (Faster)**

a Kamui/Soyo fanfiction

 ** _Chapter 1 - Synapse_**

[set five years after the current timeline; reference to Gintama's 2nd Movie and Shogun Assassination Arc. Spoilers, with numerous tweaks to the canon verse to adjust with this fanfic's outline]

* * *

"Hime-sama."

Her status as a royalty was already an old history, but even after nearly five years, Soyo still turned her head around at the mention of the honorary calling. There were not many people who still called her that –Jiiya died three years prior, most Edo people and government no longer acknowledged her as their princess, the 'Old Bakufu dogs' Shinsengumi had been disbanded (again) with the (re)capture of Kondo last month. Still, the greeting was nostalgic and exactly because she knew there was a very few people who was still around to call her that, Soyo shifted her gaze from her brother's now modest tomb to the face of her ex-bodyguard.

"My, my, Okita-san," Soyo acknowledged the man with a smile. She had not seen him for nearly a year, and she suddenly missed all the familiar offal-eating session she used to have with him. "Aren't you eager for a voluntary capture?" she said, referring to the fact that it was blatant daylight and Okita Sougo remained on the new government's top most-wanted criminal list.

Okita shrugged casually; his now long, ponytail hair swung to his side and for a moment, Soyo mused at how the man could afford such a good haircare even with his wanted-person status. "Yeah. Heard the new prison is supplied with the latest electrification chair model. Hijikata-san has been complaining of his backache lately. I was thinking of stealing one from the prison for him."

"Poor Hijikata-san," Soyo frowned sympathetically. "If it helps, my late uncle actually had a collection of electric whip back home. It was a torture device but I heard ten whips every half an hour would be good for one's back. Feel free to use it to heal Hijikata-san, Okita-san."

The edge of Okita's lips was pulled into a smirk. Kondo's order was the only reason he would serve the Tokugawa family, but he supposed, he quite liked Soyo enough to respect her at his own will.

The public cemetery complex was vacant, and since he was as alone as she was, they decided to sit on the bench in the scorching hot July afternoon weather. Whenever she was with Okita, Soyo never talked too much formalistic pleasantries. But since it had been nearly a year since she last saw him, she felt like it was justified to ask those mundane things (how had he been, basic conversation about the latest development in the White Plague medication, the Joui Patriots –general things _except_ those relating to Kondo).

But eventually it reached the topic which broke the chain of mundane talks and shook Soyo's calm speech.

"This is just a rumor I heard from Kuro Planet's immigration office. But it seems that the China brat is in a spaceship back to earth."

* * *

"So, sister," Kamui broke the silence in a sing-song voice. "When can I meet that policeman again?"

Kagura did not divert her gaze from the spaceship's window. The spaceship was already entering earth's stratosphere and despite her newfound resolution to face her fear and return back to earth after four years leaving it, Kagura suddenly had an urge to turn the spaceship to the other direction. _Not_ that it was virtually impossible to be done: after all, it was a small private jet, spacesuits were available, and with a little persuasion (like a bet to determine the strongest one), Kagura could coax Kamui, Abuto and the other two Yatos to help her literally turn the spaceship to the opposite direction.

Kamui heaved a heavy sigh at Kagura's silence. "You know. The only reason why I agreed to babysit you back to earth was because I thought I could meet those strong samurais again. If –"

"I never asked you to come," the sister hissed coldly; her fist clenched tightly. They had passed the lowest atmospheric layer now. She knew she would land on Edo in less than five minutes and it agitated her. "And why should I know anything about that tax-eater sadist?" she asked her brother back –partly to ease her from the nervousness of going back to earth again.

"Aren't you close with him?" Kamui asked nonchalantly –immediately earning an unamused stare from his sister. Deciding that it was not the case (and heaving a regretful sigh for it), Kamui decided to move on from the thought of his first love (battlefield) and go with his second one (foods). "Hey, I thought private spaceship serves you at least two lunches? How come we haven't got the second one?"

Kagura remained silent. Knowing the darkening mood of his captain behind that still cheeky smile of his, Abuto joined the conversation, "Because, uh, Captain, we're illegal passengers here?"

"Aah, right, right," Kamui acknowledged as he scratched his head. "Bratty Sis, this trip'd better be worth it. I'd have enough of weak opponents. Shinsuke never wakes from his comatose and apparently you don't even know how to get me to meet the policeman. Well," he yawned as he stretched his legs –and was unable to fully do so because Abuto's knees were on the way. Mildly scowling at the extremely economic seating, Kamui added, "I won't mind extending my stay in earth to find that white-haired samurai. He's been missing for –"

"Gin-chan is dead," Kagura stated tonelessly. "You won't find him anywhere."

Kamui rolled his eyes. "Then why would you return back to earth again?"

When Kagura did not answer (again), Kamui already knew better.

* * *

A part of Soyo could not forgive Kagura for leaving earth without notice four years prior. She understood that the news of Gin-san's death must have impacted Kagura so, but Soyo was expecting something: heart-to-heart talk, letters, _anything_. There were times when Soyo planned to start the correspondence first, but she was always unable to trace where the _sukonbu_ -lover girl was. Rumors had it that she joined the Harusame, others corrected it to the rumor saying that she was merely following her father slaying aliens with the ex Harusame's Seventh Division –not that Soyo knew which one was correct; there was not many she could get a clarification from.

Soyo had the chance to seek for clarification –now that Kagura had returned and had been staying on earth for the past weeks, but Soyo chose not to. Okita had questioned her choice –to which Soyo answered with a similar question ( _"Why don't you go and meet her?"_ ). Okita answered simply that he did, by chance, thought that there was nothing groundbreaking about it and that ' _China is now as boring as Hijikata-san's 10 pm drama'_. Soyo thought she detected something akin to regret in Okita's tone, but she might be wrong.

Putting Okita's sentiment on Kagura aside, there was of course still a curiosity laying in the depth of Soyo's heart about Kagura's new return. Did Kagura really change? Why hadn't Kagura contacted her for all these four years? Would Kagura still even remember her? Was Kagura still her best friend?

The thoughts and the stubborn curiosity prompted Soyo to go around Kabuki-cho more often (despite the warning that the town had not been fully cleared from the White Plague). Soyo hid herself behind the corner wall for the fourth time that week as she watched the trending 'Gura-san' made a clean sweep of the thugs in the area. It felt weird to break out from her hideout now, but Soyo couldn't help but to have her attention focused on the new Kagura. She took pride in her best friend –she always did. But upon seeing this new Kagura, she felt the pride was clouded by a bigger sense of bitterness, and she supposed, she could kind of understand Okita's sentiment.

Soyo felt the said man made a step closer until he stopped behind Soyo. A sad smile was spread on her lips. "She has always been strong, but she is insanely strong now. She probably won't even remember me, will she, Okita-san?"

"Not that I will blame my sister for that. Who are you and what business do you have with my sister?" said the person behind her. The nano-second realization shook Soyo because while she did not technically know whose voice was that, she knew that it was not Okita. And worse, it was not a voice of someone with a good intention.

Wide-eyed and cornered like a caught rabbit, Soyo dared herself to make a turn.

Kamui might have forgotten who she was; but how could Soyo ever forget the face which looked the happiest when he fired a bullet at her?

* * *

Kamui concluded that earth was not as exciting as it had been five years prior.

His sister might have been too busy beating those weaklings to be bored with this whole ordinary life, but Kamui did not share the same interest. The only person Kamui considered quite worthy was the dark-haired bespectacled man who argued with his sister a lot. Kamui did think of fighting him, but Kagura, despite all her ' _go ahead and defeat that useless human-wearing glasses_ ', was always in the way with the fight somehow. He grew bored of arguing with his sister (he could win without argument, of course, but this and that, Kamui did promise on their parents' grave to put his sister's wish in priority) and eventually only spent his days on earth observing things. The fact that there was a frail-looking human girl spying on his sister for the past few days inevitably got into his observation routine.

Not that he should bother himself with this, but on the second week, he decided to confront his sister's female stalker.

There was easily a look of fear on the female brat's eyes –things that Kamui did not find often on first meeting (except when his hands were holding the still-beating humans' hearts). People often said that no one would ever think of a monster judging by his appearance alone. This girl in front of him, however, showed that familiar terror only those who had witnessed him kill had. Which meant that this stalker had seen him kill before.

Not that it should matter whether or not it was the case.

"I-I…I w-wasn't, I-I mean, I thought," the girl stuttered and Kamui smiled at her out of default. "I t-thought you were my friend. I'm s-sorry. Please let me go," she begged. Kamui saw her chest rose to take a long, self-encouraging sigh before she walked past him in a hurry.

He would have let her go, had he not remembered the word she said earlier.

"Okita," Kamui echoed the name and he knew the girl froze behind him. Turning around to look at the girl (who was now staring at him), Kamui gave his guess. "The name's familiar. I don't know how common that name is on earth, but could it be… that earth policeman's name?"

 _Bingo,_ Kamui mentally declared as he saw the girl's suddenly rigid posture and the flash of worry on her eyes.

"You're his friend?" Kamui asked as he took a step closer to the girl who, on the contrary, took a step backward. "I'm kind of an acquaintance. Had a promise I need to fulfil to him," the braided-haired man recited with a smile that always looked like it reached his eyes. "I don't know who you are, Miss, but it would be very kind of you if you could take me to him. He wouldn't mind, I believe. I have a hunch that he's actually also looking for –"

"No."

Kamui was rarely interrupted.

And he did not like it when he was interrupted.

 _Still,_ he tried to calm himself and widened his smile. He knew it would look genuine on the surface. "No?" he echoed as he gazed at the girl. Wait. Something felt familiar after all. Where, oh, he was not good in remembering common people, but he knew that there was a higher possibility that he had met this girl before and…. "Ah!" he interrupted his own line of thought as he knocked his right fist to his left palm. "You're that _Shogun_ 's sister, aren't you?!" he exclaimed –proud of his own (late-discovered) memory. "Hmm, a weak brat like you is still alive? Oh well. That's…cool, I guess?"

"…"

"And that policeman is your bodyguard, isn't he?" Kamui correctly guessed as the light returned to his eyes. "You do know him. You know where he is now. And as such, you will bring me to him because I have an unfinished business –"

"No," the _Shogun_ 's sister cut Kamui's speech for the second time. The girl was whimpering as if she had just been drowned in an ice-cold lake, but the affirmation that came from her lips had none of the hesitation. "No. You will not meet him. I will not allow it."

"Hmm," Kamui mused –smile present as he crossed his arms in front of his chest for a deliberation.

But in the next split of second, his arm found its way to clasp around her neck. Ah. Had it been that long since he last connected his murderous hand with a human's flesh? _Amantos_ were fun to butcher, but they were usually cold-blooded creatures. Humans, earthlings, had that different sense. The girl's neck felt hot on his palm, and his finger pads could feel the rush of blood, the beating pulse…

It excited him.

He must have forgotten to control his strength again, because the wall onto which Kamui slammed the girl's body to crack a little and a thin trail of saliva seeped out of the girl's lips. Kamui blinked. He didn't find the need to sympathize, but it was customary of him to _look_ as if he was sympathizing. "It's supposed to be easy, little girl. I don't like to use unnecessary force on women and kids. But earth is so different now and I'm _dying_ out of boredom, so this is kind of a pressing matter to me and…you're still there?" he asked the girl. Her feet were dangling off the ground and her delicate arms were making futile attempts to pry his strong arm off her neck.

"Well?" he asked the barely-breathing girl. It was cute –especially when she was struggling for life like this. "Would you let me meet your bodyguard friend?"

The girl was in no position to answer verbally, but she answered in another means.

At first Kamui thought it was the blood that seeped out of her lips which fell to his hand. But the very minor sting he felt confirmed his guess that it was his own skin that was bleeding. And that it was the girl who dug her nails deep onto the flesh of his hand –hot blood gushing out of the wounds.

 _Now_ it started to irk him. It was so unnecessary that he allowed a weakling to cast even the slightest injury on him. Only those whose strengths matched his could be permitted to inflict physical pain on him. "This gets overboard, brat. Oh well. Now that I know the policeman is in this town, I can find him myself and I don't need y –"

Kamui did not get to finish his line, because gravity pulled him down. Fast and with adverse impact. He was thrown over the air and flew for a good twenty feet backward before his back hit the pavement.

"What the hell are you doing, idiot brother?! You are no better than those low scums I beat! You promised me and look what you've –" Kagura ended her rant the moment she laid her eyes on the girl who was now sitting limp and unconscious on the ground.

And Kagura acknowledged her.

"S-Soyo-chan?" she whispered.

* * *

 **To be Continued**

* * *

 **A/n:** Hello, thanks for reading the first story I post in this site after…4 years? I know technically it was 2 years, but that was just reposting things I already wrote beforehand, but anyway… it is this super addicting new OTP of mine, Kamui/Soyo, that can drag me back to manga/anime fanfic realm that I thought I would leave for a much longer time. I know this OTP is very frowned upon, but here goes my rendition of what could have happened to them, should the chance exist.

I actually began writing this just around the ending of the Shogun Assassination arc, but as the manga is still progressing, there will inevitably be a lot of things that cannot follow the manga's line and may even be contradicted by the manga in its later chapters. All in all, I hope you enjoy this fic!


	2. Sisters

**What Pumps the Blood (Faster)**

 _ **Chapter 2 – Sisters**_

* * *

For the past five years, Soyo always woke up in a foreign room.

It was not due to the fact that she could no longer call Edo Castle her home (after her brother's death, Nobunobu 'requested' her to move out of the castle to a more modest (yet still grand –to Edo's standard) house). It was simply the constant reminder that her brother, her last family, was no longer with her and it was then, always, that rooms felt foreign.

And eventually, the world did feel foreign.

 _Though_ , she thought to herself as she got up from the mattress and gazed around the room she was in then, _this time it is indeed not my room._

"You're awake?"

Soyo turned her head to the direction of the voice (and her mouth immediately let out a suppressed groan –the painful strain on her neck reminded her that she should not have moved it yet). An arm as pale as hers was extended to touch her neck, and carefully corrected the position. The voice resonated in the room again.

"I really should have slammed that idiot brother's head harder. I'm so sorry, Soyo-chan. I should have saved you earlier," the woman said with a sincerely apologetic voice.

"Kagura-chan," Soyo softly muttered the name; and regretted it instantly. The moment the name slipped off her tongue, Kagura blinked and immediately drew her hand from Soyo's neck as if it was a boiling kettle pot.

Kagura stood up on the tatami floor and turned her back against Soyo. "I don't know where you live now, and you had no escort or bodyguard with you," the bright-haired woman said in her attempt to explain the former princess' current presence in the small room –which Soyo later recognized as the one Gin-san usually disappeared to after he received his guest. This was the old Yorozuya's Household. "If you let me know your escort or bodyguard's number, I could call them and ask them to pick you up."

Soyo took a moment to study her (best?) friend. She had been doing so for the past few weeks since Kagura arrived back again to earth, but this was the first time Soyo was able to examine Kagura up close. If it was not for the face, Soyo would have had a hard time identifying the woman as Kagura –no longer was there the trademark 'yes?' in her speech, no longer was there the happy, mischievous glint on her blue eyes…

And the blue eyes were now staring at her –reminding Soyo that she still owed Kagura an answer.

"I no longer have any escort. Or bodyguard," Soyo said.

Kagura kept her back facing Soyo. "Anyone else you want to call then?"

"I have no one else," Soyo stated. Something bitter in her heart urged her to say something bitter to Kagura as well. "Perhaps you don't know because you have been away for almost five years, but things are different now."

"…In any event, you should leave. I know the White Plague's effect is thinning, but still, it's not safe for you to be around here."

Soyo looked down to her lap. Bitter. Soyo was still bitter, but she had other ways to show it to Kagura.

"I'm sorry if I'm a bother…"

Kagura finally turned around to face Soyo again. With an exasperated sigh, she muttered, "You're not a bother. It's just that –" Kagura couldn't finish her words because the next instance, Soyo coughed hard; holding her neck as if her life depended on it. "Soyo!"

"I'm," ( _cough_ ) "…sorry. It's just that my neck has been hurting a lot," ( _cough_ ) "B-but my presence must have made you felt uncomfortable, I'll," ( _cough_ ), "I-I'll just leave now. D-don't worry, Kagura-chan. My body might have been weak, but I-I'm sure walking through Kabuki-cho with the remains of White Plague germs still in the air will b-be nothing for –"

"Stay," Kagura decided eventually. "For a couple of days. I-I'll… try to get someone to pick you up when you're feeling better."

"But that will only bother you. A weak, sick girl like me –"

"Just rest," Kagura insisted as she placed both her palms on Soyo's shoulders and slowly pushed her down to the futon. "If there is anything I can get you –"

"Gyokuro, then," Soyo replied quickly. "The one in Uji is especially good. Ah, but it's expensive. It was my favorite before things went downhill five years ago," Soyo said with a sad smile. "Forget it, Kagura-chan. I really should know my place and not request something that is so –"

"I'll go get it. Oba-san might know where they sell it around Edo. Meanwhile, you should just rest here. I'll get Glasses to look over you."

"Gyokuro must be brewed promptly upon picking," Soyo told the other girl who was already on the doorway. "It's a shame if such precious leaves are wasted, so… make sure to come back in less than an hour, alright?"

Kagura nodded firmly and in a flash, made a dash out of the door. Soyo smiled and exhaled a deep breath. Perhaps she shouldn't have tortured Kagura this way –as natural as it was for her to torture people, she should have refrained herself so that Kagura could stay longer there with her. _Oh well_ , Soyo tried to get rid of the regret. Kagura would be back soon and they would be able to spend a lot of time together. Soyo was brewing ideas on how to make Kagura agree to sleep by her side that night –and was so focused was she on the idea that she did not realize another person that stepped into the room and casually leaned by the doorway.

"Nice plan guilt-tripping my stupid sister," Kamui commented nonchalantly with arms crossed in front of his chest. "But I bet you forgot to calculate my presence here as a factor, eh, Hime-sama?"

* * *

"Relax," Kamui declared as he invited himself further into the room where the former princess was resting. The said girl was now back to her sitting position, her brown eyes showed alarm –and they widened even more so when Kamui decided to sit against the wall right in front of her futon. Munching the karaage he found in the microwave (Kamui was sure the human-wearing Glasses secretly prepared it for his gluttonous sister –but everything that was his sister's was his too), he continued, "And don't flatter yourself. I don't have plan killing those who are flat-out much weaker than me." He paused to lick the remains of sauces on his fingers. "Unless they get in the way, of course."

Kamui could see that the girl was forcing herself not to look deterred in front of him. It was a commendable try. "And am I in your way now?" she asked.

"Depends," Kamui said with a shrug. "Are you willing to tell me where the policeman is now?"

The tightening grip on the sheet did not escape Kamui's observation. Soyo lifted her chin slightly in a grace Kamui supposed could only be possessed by those who were well-raised in a monarchy.

"…You can try breaking my neck and I will still never let you know where Okita-san is."

"Ah well," Kamui said as he scratched his head. "That's troublesome."

And before Soyo could come up with her next retort, she felt her bones froze –for she felt the same fear, that same terror only a genuine devil's incarnation could inflict upon mortals.

Kamui smiled as he gazed straight into Soyo's eyes. He had bridged the distance between him and her, informally knelt on her futon, and had his index finger hovering just right in front of her left chest. One dip of a finger was all he needed to make the Tokugawa Main Branch family lost their last lineage.

So close. Rabbit ears or not, he could nearly hear her accelerating heartbeats. So _fucking close_.

Kamui drew himself back instantly. Someone just came into the house. The entrance on the ground floor was opened in the most silent way possible –Shimura Shinpachi had learned to turn his wallflower personality into something that would work for his benefit instead. But Kamui's ears were trained to hear even the softest steps of a rabbit. Standing up, he looked down to the black-haired girl (who was unable to stare up to him due to her neck injury) and noticed that she just exhaled a relieved sigh.

 _Ridiculous._

Shrugging, Kamui smiled and stepped out of her futon. "Kidding. You are not the only one who can prank the others, you know? As I said, I don't see the benefit of killing those weaker than me."

Shinpachi had not realized Kamui's presence, but his footsteps got heavier and now even Soyo could hear that there was someone else on the floor below her. It sent tingles to her spine how _close_ Kamui had come to nearly kill her –again. Had it not been for the new presence, had it not been for the mere _chance_ –

Something in her heart suddenly broke as the memory flowed again.

"Bullshit," Soyo spat, and Kamui raised an eyebrow at the choice of words he never would have thought a royal like her would say. Turning his attention back to the little brat again, he decided to wait for what she had to say.

"You were serious. You were trying to kill me, and you would have done so, had you had the chance," she stated the fact –and Kamui couldn't help but to silently agree to it. Well, Soyo did not have to know that, so he played innocent.

"Come on, Brat, you're still my sister's best friend and I –"

"A-and you would have," Soyo interrupted ( _again,_ Kamui noted in masked irritation –his fingers twitched at the thought). "H-had you been given the chance, y-you would have been the one to kill my brother, wouldn't you?"

Kamui noted the sight of a lone drop of tear that fell from the brat's eyes. She maintained her composure well –at least well enough for someone whom he knew was seething with burning rage and irrevocable hatred inside.

"Why is it noisy? Who –" Shinpachi stepped into the scene. His eyes widened upon looking at the crying girl and despite not seeing her very often, Shinpachi recognized her immediately. "Hime-sama?! W-why?" Shinpachi exasperated before his violet eyes were quickly directed to the detached, braided-haired man who was now walking out of the room. "You?!"

"Well?" Kamui shrugged as he easily dodged the fist that Shinpachi aimed at him and answered Soyo's rhetorical question with an equally rhetorical response. "Who knows?" he muttered whimsically before he leaped out of the Yorozuya Household –escaping the sway of katana that Shinpachi just swung.

* * *

Contrary to her previous plan to spend the night in the Yorozuya Household and have a heart-to-heart talk with Kagura, Soyo ended up deciding to leave the place. She told Shinpachi to pass her apology to Kagura and that 'she lied about Gyokuro tea leaves must be brewed immediately' and that 'she would love to drink tea with Kagura again sometime in the future'. Soyo had refused Shinpachi's offer to take her back home, but Shinpachi, despite his now seemingly much colder appearance, remained Shinpachi after all. There was kindness and most of all, determination to stick true to what he had chosen. Now that Soyo thought about it, Shinpachi's willpower was something so undeservingly underrated. With a small smile, she decided to award his persistence and allowed him to take her home.

From Shinpachi, Soyo learned several things –not particularly things she wanted to acknowledge, but they were new information all the same. She learned about Kagura and Shinpachi's current battle to take over Yorozuya's leadership following Sakata Gintoki's disappearance; she learned more about the latest condition of Otae Shimura (who, despite the progressing medication for the White Plague, still somehow had the effect on her body); she learned about, to her surprise, Umibouzu's death several months prior.

Soyo halted her steps there. "Kagura-chan's father died?" she echoed –not believing the notion. She might not have witnessed the display of Umibouzu's strength herself, but the strongest person she ever knew –Kagura – secretly worshipped his strength, and it seemed impossible for that kind of strong person to…die.

But then again, Soyo remembered that she should have known better –of all people. Death was the most merciless; and it seek no reason or justification. It just, well, happened.

Her brother had the country on his palm, and yet death still took a liking of him.

Soyo shook her head. If the thought of her brother's death five years prior still ached her entire soul, Kagura's recent loss must have been multiple times harder for her. Soyo suddenly had the intention to turn back and run back to where Kagura was, but Shinpachi held her arm and reminded her.

"So long that the monster is still around Kagura, I don't think it's wise for you to go near her, Hime-sama."

"But Kagura-chan –"

"– is not a weak girl. Truth is," Shinpachi sighed and put up a smile that made his feature look innocent –resembling the old image of Shimura Shinpachi that was always engraved in Soyo's mind. "Truth is, it is I who is the weak one. I know I cannot stand a chance against Kamui. And if he hurts you when you're in my care, I don't know how I could face Kagura-chan ever again."

Soyo understood Shinpachi's point, and she did not want to bring unnecessary hassles to him. But it just seemed ridiculous she could not meet her best friend just because her best friend's brother was one psychotic bastard who could not control his lust for blood. In the end, Soyo sighed and told Shinpachi, "Would you kindly arrange a time for me and Kagura-chan to meet then?"

Shinpachi chuckled darkly –back to his more aloof choice of personality (or character cosplay –Soyo mused mentally). "You seem to forget that the Yato girl and I are not exactly on a good term now –"

"Otsuu-chan promises to come to my birthday party this week –"

"–But I will see what I can do," concluded Shinpachi a little too soon.

* * *

"Hey, Abuto?"

"Yes, Captain?"

"Can I kill you?"

Abuto laughed in his trademark deadpanned tone. "Very funny, Captain. Unfortunately, you do know that I don't support the idea of cannibalism."

"So you're confident you can defeat me then, Abuto?!" Kamui turned his face towards his subordinate (completely ignoring Abuto's mutter of ' _That's not what I meant_ ') and clenched his fist in excitement, "Yosh! That's the spirit, Abuto! Come on! Here's fine! I'd give you to the chance to attack me first!"

"Wait, wait, Captain. I never said I agree to fight you, whoa!" the older man shouted when Kamui jumped and swung his umbrella to the spot where Abuto stood half a second earlier. The ground shattered easily and Abuto took leaps as his captain pulled his umbrella back and was ready to launch another attack. "You said you'd give me the first chance to attack!"

"Eh? But you're too slow and we don't have all day!" Kamui reasoned brightly as he managed to lay a punch to Abuto's cheek.

Sent flying in Kabuki-cho's night air, Abuto grabbed whatever he could grab to prevent his body from hitting the town's walls a couple of feet behind him. He threw out the molar that fell and regretted doing so, because the action bought Kamui more seconds to advance his further attack. Abuto caught the look of the face of his eager-looking captain up in the air –ready to land his next blow that would surely crash his skull and –

A big umbrella entered Abuto's line of vision and he witnessed how, like a skillful baseball player, his captain's younger sister stepped into the fight and knocked her brother's away with a single bat (or umbrella, in her case).

A loud thud was heard and Abuto could subsequently hear the panicked voices of the townsfolks who woke up from their slumbers to see what the cause of all the commotion at two AM in the morning was.

"Geez, Sister," Kamui commented as he effortlessly got up from the hit Kagura gave him earlier and walked to where his sister and subordinates were. "If you're so intent in hitting me, just say so and I'd gladly accommodate a proper fight with you."

Kagura slammed the pointy edge of her umbrella to the ground (enough declaration to the curious townsfolk that 'Gura-san' did not like to be watched). She turned to the other two Yatos that came in hurry behind her and instructed them to take Abuto away and treat him while she was to talk with her brother.

Heaving a disappointed sigh upon the sight of Abuto being carried away, Kamui was about to complain to Kagura, but his younger sister beat him to it.

"What the hell did you just do?!"

"Exactly what you saw. I was fighting Abuto."

"Why the hell would you do that?" Kagura shook her head. "He's your friend," Kagura paused with the argument, because she remembered that the word meant nothing to Kamui. Sighing, she then tried another way, "I really can't understand until this point why are you following me back to earth."

"Well, I did promise our pa–"

"You never cared for promises," Kagura stressed with gritted teeth.

"Actually, I do stick through to what I promise," Kamui said as he tapped his fingers to his chin, as if he was trying to dig something in his memory. "Don't I?"

"You have no reason to be here," declared Kagura. "You can't be here. A Yato like you –"

"Well, here _you_ are –"

"I have a duty here," Kagura hissed; trying to draw the line. "But you don't. And you don't care for promises. And you just ruin things. And if your presence here is just to fuck around and –"

"I thought I could live," Kamui interrupted.

Kagura frowned. "You are alive," she hissed –and she found his earlier remark to be inappropriate. Just how many livesher brother had taken? How darehe said such thing?

"No," Kamui corrected, and chuckled to himself. "You won't understand, will you? A traitor who has thrown away her Yato's truest identity like you would never understand."

Clenching her fist tight, Kagura challenged her brother back. "You're right. I don't understand. I will never understand. I _thought_ you've changed. I thought you promised our parents that –"

"I only promised them not to kill you, sister," Kamui reminded. "Babysitting may come in the package, but protecting you is another deal on its own."

"I've never asked you to protect me," Kagura clarified.

"I know," Kamui mused. "You're strong enough to protect yourself. I'd love to fight you myself, to be honest."

Blinking, but subsequently trying to ignore the subtle compliment Kamui just gave her, Kagura pressed the matter. "Then why don't you? Why don't you just fight me instead of randomly picking fights with these earth people, with your own subordinates?" she spat. It felt funny questioning a family member that kind of question. The term fighting in their clan meant more than just a couple of bruises –sibling childish fights were even more out of the context. Fighting meant that one would lose their life; because even Kagura could not guarantee 100 percent that she would not be tainted by the maniacal monster inherent in her Yato blood.

But these questions were necessary to ask, because even as a Yato, Kamui did not function like a normal one, and his idea of a family (if he ever acknowledged it) was almost always questionable.

Kamui sighed instead. "I don't like heavy talks. You're always a bore, Sis. But lately, you're even more no fun."

"Earth is in a critical situation now," Kagura reminded. "If you're here just to play around, then just leave," Kagura said as she turned her back and walked to Yorozuya Household's direction again. She knew that Kamui's reason to come with her back to earth was to find some strong people (whom he believed to all reside in earth –galaxy was dull lately), so he would not back off that easily –especially now since he had not encountered any real challenge to –

"Fine."

Kagura heard the swift of wind and when she turned around, she only managed to catch the sight of her brother –leaping away in the dark of Kabuki-cho's night.

* * *

 **To be continued**

* * *

 **A/n:**

 **madison camelia:** Thanks for welcoming me back! Ah, Gintama vol 56 must be very cool -seriously, Shogun Assassination Arc is my favorite arc in the entire Gintama arcs so far. Okikagu? Very well noted -I am an Okikagu shipper myself, so I'd gladly put /some/ hints of Okikagu here, although I can only say it would be very, very subtle and won't be that much.

 **Guest** : Thank you for reading and commenting!

 **Gakupoid's writing domain:** Ah, now I'm afraid for the expectation T-T. But I'll try my best!


	3. The Monster Who Was Born

**A/n:** Two-chapter update this time! Kindly go to Chapter 2 from the last time the story left you : )

* * *

 **What Pumps the Blood (Faster)**

 _ **Chapter 3 – The Monster that Was Born**_

* * *

Kamui knew that he should leave earth the soonest, but technically, it was not possible to do so.

He knew he should have done the research better, but usually Abuto was the one in charge for it. With his subordinate's absence, Kamui was left with the most limited resources.

He did hear that earth was basically an outcast planet in the galaxy now. Upon the spread of the White Plague (despite the recent discovery of medicine), many Amantos had decided to flee the planet over the course of the past years. There were not many spaceships which were authorized to take off from earth to the other planets due to the fear for the White Plague's contagion. The private spaceship that he and his sister sneaked in to reach their ways to earth had been one out of the rare special convoys that were allowed to visit earth. He could try to depart from other space ports, but that would require a cross of oceans to the other continents which had a more regular spaceships departure schedule. It was not that there was no spaceships scheduled to take off from Edo Space Terminal, but there were very limited amounts of them, and the schedule was strictly regulated.

That day was not one of the days.

Kamui knew how to hijack space ships, but he did not know how to ride them. Besides, from the hearsays he heard from the people in the space ports, gasolines were filled only when a spaceship was to take off, and long story short, he would not be able to easily flee from this boring planet at his will.

"The government's spaceship is scheduled to board at the end of this week," informed one of the workers in the space port. "Though of course, unless you are someone of importance, you would not be able to board on the ship anyway."

Kamui knew that he did not need the royalty status to ride the ship freely, but all in all, he realized that he had no choice but to wait for a couple more days until he could flee from the planet.

 _Oh well_ , he shrugged. It was not too bad. He rather enjoyed Edo foods, and he supposed he could use the couple of days to have a little culinary trip before his time to board come.

And ah, in any event, if he could come across that policeman, that would be a great bonus.

* * *

Okita sneezed.

"You're alright? Here," Soyo asked her technically-bodyguard-no-longer-but-he-stick-up-around-her-lately as she offered him her handkerchief, which Okita accepted without much further ado and used it for his nose.

When Okita finally realized that there was wasabi smeared upon the handkerchief, it was too late.

"Hime-sama…"

Blinking innocently, Soyo oh-so-good-naturedly remarked, "Wasabi is good for sinuses."

"…Right," Okita reluctantly accepted as he grabbed new tissues to get rid the wasabi off his nose. He might have been the renowned Sadist, but to this particular woman, rank or no rank, there was no way he could return the action. And to think of, his sadism came out as a self-defense mechanism he developed over the years to shield his natural inferior complex. Tokugawa Soyo had a different case –it was all so natural for her; like she was born to be one. A part of Okita once considered Soyo his little sister, but now that he thought of it, despite the age, she fit the role of his big sister or mentor better. Oh well, he was still a proud man and he would never let her know he actually acknowledged her.

And besides, it was good to see Soyo back to her cheerful state again. Ever since that day she returned after meeting Kagura, she had not been in her best mood.

"Is ordering this much of foods also a form of your torture?" Okita asked –nudging his chin at th table between them and the food-filled plates all over it. Confiscated assets or not, ripped status or not, Okita knew that Soyo was still rich enough to order this food festivity on a daily basis, but it seemed rather wasted if the only parties to the banquet were the three of them –who were all actually quite picky eaters (or, in Otsuu's case, an entertainment-industry-made picky eater, _which by the way_ , Okita mused, _why was she here again?_ ).

It struck him quick enough however.

"You're not…" Okita began. "…You're not thinking of inviting China here, are you?"

"I am and I already did," Soyo responded calmly, looking straight into Okita's ruby eyes. She did not know what she wished to find there. "I have asked Shinpachi-san to get Kagura-chan here," Soyo continued and Okita glanced at the oblivious Terakado Tsuu. Soyo noted his eye gaze and clarified. "A lot of things happened, but Otsuu-chan has been my close friends for the past few years. Of course, it doesn't hurt to have Otsuu-chan as a bait for someone to get my other best friend –" the black-haired girl expressed ( _On the background, Otsuu laughed helplessly,_ " _Soyo-chan, why are you such a meanie?_ "). "But anyway," Soyo shrugged as she glanced at the clock on the wall. Her birthday would be in an hour. She had specially reserved the restaurant so that she could enjoy the shifting into her birthday with these remaining people. "This is an important day for me and I want to spend it with my closest friends."

And there were only two of them.

She couldn't reach Sacchan nor Zenzou –no longer could for the past two years or so. Otae was lying sick in the hospital. Tsukuyo had promised to come last week, but Soyo did not hear from her again after that. Shinsengumi and Matsudaira were all in the guests list, but only Okita could make it (" _I sold the information on Hijikata-san's whereabouts to the police," explained Okita. "That should buy me enough time for this party. They must be chasing him at the moment_.").

The door to the private Japanese-styled restaurant slid; revealing a tall, glasses-eyed man.

"Shinpachi-san!" Soyo greeted immediately.

"What is it with this Seigaku Tennis Team's Captain carbon copy?" Sougo remarked.

"What is it with this Himura Kenshin get-up?" Shinpachi argued back.

"Well, they say, who needs clowns for birthday party when we have two cosplayer wannabes?" Soyo happily announced as she dragged Shinpachi to sit on the vacant seat beside Okita, completely ignoring the dead-eye looks both Okita and Shinpachi gave her. "Where's Kagura-chan?" Soyo made quick steps to the sliding door of their private restaurant room. "Is she running a bit late? Do you mind if we wait –"

"She won't come."

Soyo halted her eager steps.

"She won't come," Shinpachi repeated. "…I'm sorry, Hime-sama."

"Ah, no problem," Soyo decided as she closed the door and turned to face her guests –smile on her face. "Let's just begin the party, shall we?"

* * *

Kamui's stomach growled.

"Ah, damn it," he muttered regretfully –casting sights to his surroundings. It was midnight and he recalled there had been plenty of food vendors in Edo five years ago. Now, it was even rare to spot a ramen street vendor in the night. Well, there were restaurants, but most of them closed after ten PM, and it had long passed since –

He saw the light coming from a small building in a distance. Thanks to his extraordinary sight, he could easily tell out that it was a restaurant sign.

"Spotted," he said with a grin to himself. _Another restaurant to crash._

* * *

Soyo gazed at the recently-vacated restaurant's private room. The party did not last as long as she wanted to, but Soyo thought this was already better than what she could have hoped for. After all, she practically just held a meeting between one traitor-marked-ex-Shinsengumi, one underground singer who had been spreading provocative government-overruling songs, and one… well, Shinpachi's existence was not a fault of its own against the government, but let's just say that his past association to the Shiroyasha might possibly bring him trouble.

Perhaps it was the restaurant's staff who leaked the presence of Okita Sougo and Terakado Tsuu to the government (Soyo vowed not to use this restaurant again), but for whatever reason, the government's current police squad barged into the restaurant and ruined her party.

So much of a birthday bash.

Okita Sougo could undoubtedly protect himself, and while Terakado Tsuu could move an army (of otakus) with a wink of an eye, she was pretty much useless in actual fight, so Shimura Shinpachi was more than willing to assist her escape.

" _I'll be alright," Soyo had reassured Okita who turned around to her seconds before jumping off the window. "I still have my immunity."_

There was no absolute certainty to her statement, but after nearly five years, Tokuawa Soyo had never been successfully assassinated. Okita thought that bringing her with him would actually cause more damage: Soyo would instantly be dubbed to collaborate with a rebel force, and it would be more than an ex royal status that she had to rip off.

So Okita leaped off the window, seconds earlier before the police barged into their private party room –finding only a table of a quarter-eaten food and an untouched and unlit birthday cake. The police did question Soyo a lot, but for the past five years, Soyo already memorized patterns of alibis and answers when she was asked of her association with the rebel force.

"Are you saying that you have been alone here all along, Tokugawa Soyo?" questioned the police.

Soyo smiled and motioned at the vacant room. "As you see, Officer. I'm just here all by myself."

"No Okita Sougo with you? Reports have it that he's been with you all these time."

"It's been a while since I last saw Okita-san. I know nothing of his whereabouts."

The subordinates of the police came to report soon after. "We've looked the entire restaurant. There are only restaurant staffs. No rebels or Shinsengumi are sighted."

"You're sure?"

"Yes."

"Alright," the head officer said.

Soyo smiled and was about to say some words to send the police off, but her smile was dropped half way when the police unsheathed his sword and pointed it to Soyo's neck. The line the police said next stunned her.

"That means she's without guards and we can finish her here."

Soyo blinked and cast a look of disbelief at the sword pointed to her neck. "I am Tokugawa Soyo. Your government has granted me immunity."

"Well," smirked the police. "It seems that our government has a change of mind. Unfortunately for you, Tokugawa Soyo, tonight we are here for your head, not the Shinsengumi's."

* * *

There were three of them. Two were holding her arms behind her back, while the commander still held out his sword towards her.

"Let me talk to Nobunobu!" screamed Soyo. "He promised! He –"

"Nobunobu-sama has been too generous with you all these years. You should have been dead five years ago. Be grateful that you were given these much time to live."

"Stop this!" Soyo shouted. "Stop this! I order you! I order you as the –"

"As the what?" snickered the police holding her arms behind her. "Post-power syndrome much, eh, _Hime-sama?_ "

She struggled. No, she could not be killed here. She had yet to see the nation her brother vowed to build. Katsura and Shinsengumi were still fighting to overthrow this corrupted government. She did not want to die before she could –

"Commander, don't you think it's a waste to just finish a princess off without sampling her?"

Frozen, Soyo stopped struggling. What did they say?

"That's in my agenda already," acknowledged the commander. "You two hold her up while I take the first turn."

 _What the –_

Before Soyo could formulate any thought in her head, she felt her head was slammed down to the tatami floor. These were men, and she was just one, powerless girl. She could feel her arms being held up behind her, while the other was grabbing the fabric of her thick kimono –intending to pull it up.

"No!"

"Stop struggling!" ordered the commander as he laid one kick to her head. She thought she would black out, but she couldn't. If she blacked out, she would not have any control to the situation –

–not that she ever had one.

"Aren't you famous for being the puppet princess? You should be docile and act more like your stupid brother. At least that coward died rather nicely, didn't he? Nobunobu-sama was too generous. Your brother should have experienced a more humiliating death –"

"Don't talk about Aniue-sama that way!" Soyo screamed, and she earned another kick on her stomach. Not good. She could barely feel anything now –but there were these disgusting hands on her thighs. No. These men committed a more unforgiveable sin. They mocked her brother. They mocked her kind brother –

The commander forcefully grabbed her chin and lifted her face so that he could stare at her eyes. "You should be glad that we will send you to your dear bro –argh!" the commander yelled when Soyo spat to his face.

"You crazy bitch!" screamed the guy.

"You called us puppets?" challenged Soyo –ignoring the fuming anger of the guards and policemen. "How is it different from you, Government dogs?"

The corner of her eye caught one strong arm trying to reach her. It grabbed the collar of her kimono, she felt her petite body being slightly lifted off the ground and there was a fist aimed to her face.

Soyo did not close her eyes.

( _Let these eyes of the Tokugawa haunt you in your lifetime, dogs_ )

"Hey, Brat."

The commander halted his fist midair, and Soyo frowned at the interruption –not because she minded the interruption, but because of the voice; and how somewhat familiar (in a bad way) it was.

"If I help you finish these people out, would you give me all these uneaten food?"

The guard put the former princess back to the ground in reflex. Scowling, he shifted his attention to the newcomer who got into the way with the former royalty annihilation. "Huh? What the hell? Who are you? Since when are you here?"

Soyo did not need to turn her back to see who it was, because she knew. She did not know how he, of all people, got into there. But it was him, still. There was only one presence so _vile_ that even his cheerful tone and casual demeanor could never cover the beast that he truly was. She was a commoner in battlefield, but she supposed, even she could feel the aura, the difference of power and the lust of blood –she supposed only one whose existence was so corrupted could effortlessly come up with such aura.

Kamui took a step closer to Soyo from her behind, and the two polices behind her released their grip on the girl out of reflex. Kamui smiled at them and, as if forgetting all the conflict they had in the past, laid his forearm on her shorter shoulder as if the two of them were best buddies in a lifetime and beyond. "So? Foods for a quiet dinner?"

* * *

Kamui's stomach was growling again. Ah, he wanted to finish this quick, he was starving already.

The police (but they were not the police he was looking for, _too bad_ ) were staring at him as if he had grown a horn on his head. This was not the first time that he managed to freeze people with only a smile, so he was not too surprised. Kamui took a step closer to the brat –hmm, she did look off this time. No longer was the prim and proper girl, she was just a bundle of mess with disarrayed black hair and clothing arrangement that would make her fit more in Yoshiwara rather than in this upper class restaurant.

And not that it looked necessary bad on her.

Kamui caught the sight of her pale, bare shoulders –noting mildly that it was as fair as those of a Yato. Ah, he touched her neck before –the pulse that was beating under his fingertips and the warmth that somewhat excited him. He wondered whether her shoulder would be as electrifying to touch.

Out of mild curiosity, Kamui slung his arm around her bare shoulders and asked for confirmation from her.

"So? Foods for a quiet dinner?"

The Brat slowly lifted her chin and turned her face to look at him.

To be honest, despite meeting her not so long ago, he did not necessarily remember her face.

But Kamui thought he would remember hers from then on.

There was something about that blood trail on her temple that marred her skin he found thrilling. He would not deny that she was a pretty face, but Kamui did not care for pretty faces. What drawn him was something more essential, something that he unexpectedly found in her eyes.

It reminded him of Shinsuke, wait, no, there was someone else who had eyes more similar with hers, ah, that earth policeman. The same calm and collected eyes –

–that hid the actual monster within.

Funny. He would bet the entire treasure he collected as a Harusame that this Brat had never been an active participant in a battlefield before. She probably had never lifted a sword, much less killed anyone in her life. But Kamui's instinct was built to spot monsters –and this girl was one of those, he just knew it. The monster was suppressed, the monster yearned to scream, but unable to.

His finger itched. He couldn't stop himself from smiling. The excitement was killing him, the curiosity was tantalizing him…

Could he release this monster?

Smirking to himself, Kamui whispered next to the girl's ears. "In other words, I can kill these people _for you_."

"…ll."

"I can't hear you," he teased in a singsong tone of a situation that was not joke-worthy.

"..Kill them."

Kamui's fingers flexed as they hung from her shoulder. He smiled at her and asked again, "You're sure? You're weak to blood and human innards, aren't you? There would be –"

"…I don't mind," she said her ultimatum as she closed her eyes.

Kamui smiled to himself. "Got it!"

It was fast.

Kamui took pity on weaklings sometimes, so he always wasted not a moment to finish them off. He only needed to have one swing of an arm to quickly snatch three hearts in seconds. The bodies fell to the tatami floor, blood burst out of the wound, splattering to his face, to her skin.

He narrowed his eyes at the red against pale skin. It looked good on her. There was an urge to taste that blood on her skin.

The girl opened her eyes again, and Kamui snapped himself back to the reality.

Heaving a sigh, he leaped to sit in front of the table. Real food is more important _–should be_ more important. Brushing the ridiculous momentary thought of eating her instead, he focused his attention to break the chopsticks and grab the first plate.

"Itadakimasu!" he cheerfully exclaimed.

* * *

 **To be Continued**


	4. The City of Night

**What Pumps the Blood (Faster)**

 _ **Chapter 4 – The City of Night**_

* * *

"You're not eating?"

Soyo weakly lifted her face to look at the munching young man in front of her. A young restaurant servant couldn't stop shivering as she tiptoed between the officials' dead bodies to bring the next plate of sashimi platters to the private restaurant room. The servant nearly spilled the content of the plate to Kamui and the young girl immediately fell to her knees and profusely apologized. Kamui shrugged it off; stating something along the line that he would not hurt those who brought him foods.

Which was the only reason he kept all the restaurant staffs alive, and the rest not (except Soyo –who would be paying for the food later).

"I mean it," Kamui declared himself after the servant left the two of them in the room. "I may be a pirate, but I am not that ungrateful," he mumbled in between the foods he chewed. Images of Housen and Admiral Abou flashed in his memory, and Kamui had the courtesy to correct himself. "Except when those treating me food try to attack me or when they are stronger than me."

Soyo ignored his statement and pensively glanced at the clock on the wall. Midnight had passed. It was her birthday already.

Of all things that could happen, she did not expect to spend her birthday with the man who tried to kill her five years prior (and recently). The said murderer even had the audacity to act all so idly, as if there had been no bloody history between them. Unless the issue with Okita was raised again, Soyo doubted Kamui had the intention to kill her at the moment. But the man could be as fickle as a dandelion –there was no guessing of what he would or would not do.

Not that it mattered now.

"I'm stuffed!" Kamui declared happily as he caressed his stomach. "Ah, don't worry. Because you are generous enough to me, I'll tell the restaurant staffs that I take the full responsibility of these dead bodies."

The mention of the dead bodies reluctantly made Soyo take another glance to the bodies around her. The dead eyes of the man who mocked her brother were now wide open in terror. There was a hole in his chest, and remains of his heart splattered on the tatami floor. The other one who first initiated for her to be raped was in no better condition –his intestines were pulled out. Soyo did not know what happened to the third guy and the rest of the officials because Kamui threw them (or their remains) to the various sides of the restaurants, only blood trails remained.

 _And whose fault was that? Whose responsibility was this? These people were probably fathers to someone, husbands to another. You who knew the pain of losing a family member blindingly agreed to have them killed. It was not Kamui's fault, Princess. He was simply an executioner who acted on your will. Your clean arms were no different from his bloodied ones._

An unpleasant feeling coiled in her stomach.

"Hmfh!" Soyo grunted as her stomach made a mechanical muscles push upward. Sick. She felt sick. She couldn't control it.

"Ah, come on!" Kamui remarked at the sight of the girl who just vomited her stomach's content to the tatami floor. He scrunched his nose slightly at the unlikely act of someone who should have been the epitome of grace and daintiness. Rolling his eyes, Kamui only muttered, "Thank goodness I've finished eating."

Soyo paid no heed to him. Tears welled up in her eyes just as she vomited more.

 _I know you're not an exact saint, but a monster as well? You wish for humans' deaths. Kagura spent her entire lifetime trying to fight the monster she had inside, while you easily succumb to your inner demon. What would you say to her if she ever knew this?_

…

 _And worse, what would you say to your big brother, dear Princess?_

(I don't, I can't–)

"Aniue-sama…" she sobbed. "I'm sorry, Aniue-sama, I'm –" she puked again.

Her brother would not have wanted a sister as demonic as she was. Her brother, ah, her kind and thoughtful brother… He was willing to give up his life for the people of the country he loved so much, while she… while she nearly did not have a second thought upon ordering the deaths of the people from the nation her brother vowed to save.

She felt numb. And she deserved to feel nothing except for the heavy regret that she would have to carry her whole life, and –

A ticklish sensation on her nape distracted her line of thought.

Her long, black hair was slowly pulled upward; silky strands made tantalizing movements on her neck.

"Are all brats alike?" Kamui pondered as he stood behind her; his hand holding out her black hair so that they would not be tainted with her vomit. "My sister also puked a lot when we had to eat expired foods back in the days."

Soyo bit her lips and forced herself to calm down. Crying in front of this man was the least she wanted to do, so with a deep breath, she held the nausea and grabbed the tissues from the table. Wiping the remains of vomit from her lips and those splattered to her hand, she then reached for her hair, pulling it off his grasp.

Backing him, she grabbed her purse and pulled out some cash that would be more than enough to pay the entire food Kamui ate and laid them on the table. She then walked slowly towards the door –careful not to step on the dead bodies.

She was at the door when Kamui called out.

"It's not a big fuss, you know."

She froze.

"Arguably, this is not even your fault," Kamui continued. "Those guys are just weak and I just happen to be strong. And that's what the nature decides for them. It was also the nature's wish that those guys and I met and, well, unfortunate for them, but what can you do?"

"… I shouldn't have agreed to let you kill them."

( _Lies. She was ecstatic when she saw these government dogs died_ )

"Well, to be honest, I would have done it with or without your will anyway," Kamui said with a shrug. "They're kind of noisy, and I want to enjoy my dinner in a happy mood. I personally enjoy having a big feast after I defeat my opponents. Of course, it would be a more satisfying dinner if these folks were stronger and –ooh, what's that?" Kamui interrupted his own line of thoughts upon laying sight on the transparent box of cake on the corner of the room. "Is that yours?"

"…"

"Girls like to have unnecessary diet, don't they? Can I have it?" Kamui said as he pointed at the cake sheepishly.

She stared at him wordlessly. Kamui seemed to take the silence as an affirmation, and happily, he crossed the room to get the box. "Oh, it's a birthday cake? Whose birthday is it? Yours?"

Soyo had enough of all these. Not that it was Kamui's faults per se, but to begin with, she should have taken her leave much earlier. Saying not a word to the man who looked no different from a five-year-old boy upon receiving a new console game, Soyo hastily walked out of the room.

"Thanks for the cake, Brat! Oh, and happy birthday, I guess?"

She nearly laughed inside at the irony: the person who first congratulated her 20th birthday was the very one who tried to stop her reaching another birthday five years ago.

* * *

Okita Sougo was truly a daredevil, Soyo thought upon seeing him wander in the broad daylight of Edo again. She knew that Okita was strong – _inhumanly_ so. But the attack the current government had on her the night before was evidence that the government was to take a more radical action. The fact that her home had been sieged by numerous shinobis the night before further strengthened her conviction. She had changed her kimono into a more modest one and covered her hair in scarves. Okita, however, walked around without any meaningful protection.

"I already took care of the police in the area," he gave a somewhat insufficient reason behind his lack of personal protection. "Well, backups will arrive, but not for the next half an hour, I predict."

It was unlikely that Okita created unnecessary mess as he was never as eager as Katsura in revolting against the government. Soyo noticed that he had started random fights more often lately.

"…You still can't locate Kondo-san, can you?" Soyo guessed.

"Useless Hijikata-san is useless. Useless Yamazaki is useless," Okita threw the blames as he closed his eyes. "I don't know which area I should ruin again. They're not taking the bait."

"You're taking their bait," Soyo pointed out –knowing perfectly that the government wished to put the Shinsengumi's minds at unrest like this. Kondo had been captured and hidden in God knew where for nearly two months. The current government had been very skillful in hiding the information –not even the Joui's intelligence could trace Kondo. The loss of one of the main pillars of the anti-government force truly messed up with most peoples' minds.

"I know," Okita mumbled –uncharacteristically admitting his miscalculation. He allowed silence to pass between them for a while. It reached the point where he could no longer held it in eventually. "…I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"…Had I known that they were targeting you instead last night, I wouldn't have left you."

Soyo softly sighed. "You're no longer my bodyguard, Okita-san."

"Still," Okita shrugged. "I should have been by your side."

At the thought, Soyo blinked. It seemed a long while ago, in that battleship, where Okita assured her that he was on her side for the time being –implying his inevitable sway of loyalty, given a different circumstance. The fact that he did not sway and remained her ally, even without her status, was the nicest thing she had ever come across that day. It was still a bit hard for her to smile, but she knew Okita deserved more than just her long face. "Thank you, Okita-san."

He shrugged, clearly looking uncomfortable with this kind of talk. Lifting his straw hat to shield his head from the sunrays, he then asked her again, "I heard your house is on their hands now. Where are you going to live from now on?" Shinsengumi moved and changed hideouts a lot. Okita told her that he was planning to infiltrate a government's fortress in Kyoto that night and that he would not be in Edo for a couple of weeks. Okita had opted to have Soyo stay with Nobume, but Nobume was also' on a run, and basically, being with any member of the (ex) Shinsengumi or (ex) Mimawarigumi would expose Soyo to more danger. The government's noses were sharper lately. For the past week, Shinsengumi's hideouts had been discovered thrice (well, the third one was partially his fault, but Okita swore there was only Hijikata there and technically, he did not put the entire Shinsengumi at risk).

"I was thinking of going to Yoshiwara."

"And what's left there?" Okita remarked –reminding her of the fire in Yoshiwara when the government declared the entire town to be in support of the old Shige Shige government. "But I guess Yoshiwara is better than Iga. Their search on the Oniwabanshu is even more frantic than their search on the Shinsengumi."

"Or…somewhere in Kabuki-cho."

"With all due respect, Hime-sama, you're out of your mind," Okita told her flat out. "I know the cure's been found, but there are still reports on White Plague's new infection around Kabuki-cho, and not to mention the police–"

"I'm still thinking of Yoshiwara as the first option," Soyo interrupted –having tested Okita enough to know that Kabuki-cho and living together with Kagura were really out of question. Now that Soyo thought about it, the idea of living together with Kagura might not have been too appealing anyway, due to her inevitable housemate.

"Yeah," Okita decided. "I think that's the best out of the options. Not that you have plenty to begin with."

* * *

"I'm glad to see you safe, Hime-sama," Tsukuyo expressed in genuine relief upon seeing the Tokugawa Main Family heiress in front of her. "I'm sorry for not being able to make it to your party. There have been some problems here in Yoshiwara. But I heard what happened to you and your house. I'm so sorry and –"

"Don't be," Soyo assured as she followed Tsukuyo down the stairs. It was sad to know that Yoshiwara townsfolk must return back to the life underground –a literal one this time, after the government burned everything on the surface. "I thank you for accepting me here. Has everyone been doing well?"

"For the time being, yes," Tsukuyo said. "But you never know what the government is plotting."

It took a while to reach the last step of the stairs down, but when they finally reached it, Soyo could see the whole town underground. She had never been to Yoshiwara during those days when the town was outcast from the sun rays, but even she felt back then, it was better than this one.

"Housen did prepare a lot of things for this city, actually," explained Tsukuyo. "He already built an underground city underneath the layer of an artificial underground city. It has been years though, so the lighting is not all working properly."

The dimness of the underground town confirmed Tsukuyo's explanation. Tsukuyo brought her to a modest house located at the center of the small, buried town. Two people were already waiting there –one, she nearly did not recognize.

"Hime-sama!" cheerfully greeted Hinowa. Soyo noted that Hinowa, really, was the truest sun in Yoshiwara. Her presence alone was able to lift up her initially sour mood. "I heard what happened! Those government officials really… but at least you'd be safe here."

Beaming, Soyo was about to return the greeting, but wetness suddenly was swap on her face. Big, fluffy creature was covering her entire sight, but Soyo would recognize this creature anywhere. "Sadaharu?!"

A tall man reached out to pat Sadaharu's head. Ah, Seita. It had only been five years, but it seemed like he had grown a lot. "After Kagura-chan left, we took him in. Well, Okita-san had insisted to take him in, but I had a feeling that he would only do terrible things to Sadaharu, so I persisted more."

Soyo shared Seita's point. Okita would definitely do a lot of awful things to the favorite pet of his rival.

The thought of Kagura and Sadaharu made Soyo spoke up again, "Kagura-chan is back in town. Did you know it?"

"We did," Tsukuyo said. "Sadaharu did chase over her, but…Kagura-chan turned him away."

Seita hugged Sadaharu. "Why is Kagura-chan so cruel? Sadaharu has been missing her a lot and –"

"She just does not want Sadaharu to be exposed to the White Plague, I guess," Soyo said as she patted Sadaharu as well. "Kagura-chan… might have looked as if she changed a lot, but I believe that she is still the same and…"

Tsukuyo patted Soyo's head in turns. "We're sure of that. Seita knows that too, right, Seita?"

The teenage boy remained silent, but Sadaharu woofed in his place.

Hinowa insisted that Soyo should take a rest after her tiring journey (Hinowa did hear how Soyo had not had any sleep after her house had been summoned the night before). The former princess did think of doing the same, but after depositing her luggage (which was not much) in the room Hinowa prepared, she decided that she did not want to be alone for the time being and joined Tsukuyo and Hinowa downstairs instead.

"The girls still cannot locate Kondo-san's whereabouts," Tsukuyo reported to Hinowa. "I don't know. The government is very careful this time."

"Have our spies in Kokujou Island found anything?" asked Hinowa.

"No."

"Did you manage to get in touch with Katsura?"

"Not Katsura directly. But his subordinate told us that they were still looking for Kondo-san's whereabouts."

Hinowa exhaled a sigh. "Do you think that…he's been executed?"

Tsukuyo did not respond.

"…I don't think so," Soyo joined in carefully. Soyo felt the gazes of the two women fell to her, and biting her lips, Soyo recited what she thought of Nobu Nobu. That damn man was after all still a distant relative and the man she hated the most altogether. It was only common that Soyo observed his actions a lot. "…Nobu Nobu would have a public execution for Kondo. The fact that we have not heard of it means that Kondo is still alive."

"But he killed the late Shogun in –" Tsukuyo paused. "I'm sorry, I mean."

"It's alright," Soyo stated as she took a sip of the tea Hinowa made. "That time, Nobu Nobu had not been appointed as the Shogun. There was no way he could have publicly executed Aniue-sama. This time is different. Nobu Nobu… I think he's anxious as well. For five years, he had never been able to fully put the rebellion at rest. Publicly executing Kondo would be his way of threatening the rebels. I'm sure that's how he thinks."

Hinowa and Tsukuyo nodded softly. But their minds were not put at comfort and Hinowa decided they should go to bed instead. None of them wanted to sleep, but if they could delay the depression slightly by resting, none really objected to the idea.

* * *

"You said the spaceship will depart at the end of this week."

The fact that a boyish-looking man was kicking and waking him up from his slumber pissed the space port operator. It was night, hmm, funny, how could this man get into the operators' lodge again? But then again, he was in the middle of a sleep and this disturbance was not favorable. "Am I the Shogun or what?! How should I know if they have a change of plan?!" he spat as he rolled back on his bed again.

Kamui could easily kill this man for talking back rudely at him, but he decided to let him go (everybody needed a good sleep once in a while).

The operator was back snoring again, and Kamui was about to leave the cabin, when he heard the voice.

"You're from the Harusame, aren't you?"

Turning around, Kamui spotted one man who had been awake.

Something cold ran down his spine. Kamui knew strong opponent when he saw one. And this one was one of them.

Putting up a wide smile to the person ( _finally_ ), Kamui responded, "Well, I was. They kicked me out."

The man chuckled, before he stood up from his own bed and walked towards the door. Kamui stepped aside, allowing the man (tall, firm posture. He was a fighter. _Great,_ Kamui thought) to grab the doorknob and open it. He walked out of the space ports operator's cabin to the full-moon night. Kamui followed him until they were both standing on Edo terminal alone. The moon basked its light on him, and Kamui saw burnt scars covering half of his body. Battle scars, he noted and could not help but to feel excited. Finally. Finally someone on earth he could find that would be worthy of a fight.

"You must be pretty strong then?" asked the man.

"I believe so," Kamui responded with a grin. "Wanna test it out?"

The man chuckled again. "I knew someone as crazy as you. I don't mind, actually. But could you do me a favor before that?"

Kamui deliberated. He knew this pattern. He helped Shinsuke Takasugi out of the same reasoning and look where that man was now –being in comatose for years. Frowning at the lost opportunity and the possibility of another loss, Kamui asked him back, "Depends. Would you still be able to fight me after I help you out?"

"I don't have much to live on, but I guard my life wisely."

"Contradictory," Kamui mused. Not that it mattered. "What kind of help?"

"Are you planning to hijack the Imperial spaceship and depart to the other planet?"

Shrugging, Kamui responded, "I'm willing to extend my stay here on earth if you agree to fight me on." Not that his opponent's consent was necessary, but Kamui appreciated and respected a strong opponent's wish.

"You could have the entire spaceship for yourself then."

"I am not interested in the spaceship per se. I am interested in you now."

The man gave a low laugh. "The ship that you are intending to hijack, the Imperial spaceship was only a decoy. It is only the Hitotsubashi's plan to export one of Edo's best commodities to outer space in order to regain back the thinning Amanto's support."

"Hmm. One of Edo's best commodities?" Kamui pondered for a while, before his eyes lit up. "Do you mean the samurais?! The shinobis?!"

The laughing resumed again. Everything that Kamui said seemed to amuse the man. "Remember, Edo was controlled by women once."

Kamui was quick to spot what the man meant. "Prostitutes," he correctly guessed. "The imperial ship is a decoy to sell prostitutes to the Amantos."

"You know much."

"I worked for the Harusame," Kamui reminded.

"Right, right."

Kamui smiled. He quite liked the man. It would be a pity to finish him off now. Besides, he had nothing better to do anyway. And he enjoyed Earth's food. He supposed delaying his flight for this would be worth it.

"My name is Kamui," Kamui declared as he extended a hand. "Consider I agree to help you. Though I don't know what you need me to do, but I agree to your terms."

The man accepted the handshake firmly. Kamui calmed himself down from the desire to crush that hand right there and right then. _All good things come for those who wait_ , he reminded himself.

"Looking forward to work with you, Kamui. My name is Jiraia."

"Jiraia," Kamui echoed the name and got the feel of it. "Alright. Brief me slightly about what I need to do."

"Not tonight," Jiraia decided as he looked at the moon above. A smile grazed his feature slightly. "After all, we owe Yoshiwara a peaceful night once in a while."

* * *

 **To be Continued**


	5. The Client

**What Pumps the Blood (Faster)**

 _ **Chapter 5 – The Client**_

* * *

"…Have you heard any news about my brother?"

The concern was unprecedented, and the person asking the question was even more unlikely. Abuto chuckled at the question posed by the young elite Yato and responded to her, but not to her concern. "You're worried about him, huh?"

Kagura shot him a sharp look. "Of course not."

Smirking to himself, Abuto decided not to pursue the topic further. But he chose not to move an inch from his current standing spot –the balcony of the Yorozuya's office – and continue to accompany his captain's little sister in her late afternoon-gazing session. He wondered why both siblings were just so easy to predict sometimes. Kamui had originally been harder to predict, but after all the years Abuto spent serving that one hell of a captain, Abuto concluded that Kamui was someone with a ridiculously simple mind and simple motive. Kagura was no different –though it was their lines of reasoning that set one apart from the other.

Despite their simplicities, Abuto still found following either of them troublesome.

"If you claim to be Yorozuya's successor," a voice sounded from behind them. "You should take a better care of the office, you monster girl."

Kagura looked back to see the apron-clad Shimura Shinpachi with his favorite weapon: broomstick. Without any interest in her eyes, she retorted, "Exactly because I'm Yorozuya's rightful owner, I have the right to do what I please. You, servant, on the other hand, are just destined to sweep and take care of the domestic chores so long that I reign."

"I'm not your servant!" Shinpachi let his natural temperament slip off, but he quickly regained his composure back. Fixing his glasses and turning to his much calmer voice, he told her, "Yorozuya needs a more responsible leader. You are certainly not fit for this job."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

"Are you even listening?!" the bespectacled man lost his composure again. "Why you –"

"Shinpachi-san, there are still dusts all over here," a new feminine voice resonated in the room. Kagura widened her eyes at the sight of Tokugawa Soyo stepping foot at Yorozuya again. Returning Kagura's wide-eyed stare with a smile, Soyo turned to Shinpachi instead, "A rightful Yorozuya leader will not miss a spot, will he?"

"Hime-sama?!" exclaimed Shinpachi. "What are you, ah, I didn't miss a spot. I'm the rightful leader and you will see that this place will be spotless clean in no time!"

"That's the spirit, Shinpachi-san!" Soyo said with clasped hands. Dropping herself on the couch in the living room, she sweetly requested, "Now, while you're at it, I'm quite tired for having to walk here all the way from Yoshiwara. A good Yorozuya leader serves their guest well, doesn't he?"

"Yes, yes, of course!" Shinpachi instantly dashed to the kitchen to make tea for Soyo.

Abuto chuckled at the situation. "Funny girl," he muttered under his breath. His eyes met the young woman's for a brief while, and Abuto decided that as loose as she presented herself to be, the actual degree of cautiousness she had couldn't be hidden. Well, whoever she was, judging by the way Kagura's shoulders tensed upon this dark-haired girl's appearance, Abuto decided that this could be entertaining.

Kagura did not share the same amusement though. "What are you doing here, Soyo?"

Soyo had resolved that she had enough of Kagura's attitude. Sitting herself comfortably on the couch, Soyo told her best friend, "I am here as a customer. You're Yorozuya leader, aren't you, Kagura-chan?" ( _Shinpachi yelled from the kitchen, "I'm the leader!"_ )

"You should leave," Kagura declared.

"Come on, little miss," Abuto mediated. "This could be interesting."

"You're starting to think like my brother, Abuto," muttered Kagura as she jumped from the balcony back to the inside of the house and sat on the couch opposite Soyo. "What do you want? You cannot stay here. You have to –"

Soyo placed a pouch of heavy gold chips on the table. If Kagura still feigned that friendship did not exist between them, Soyo could take it to the next level. If subjective sentiment no longer had any value to Kagura, Soyo could persuade her with objective means. "We do business here."

Kagura eyed the pouch without interest. "I'm not accepting that."

"I'm a customer," Soyo smiled triumphantly. Knowing the current battle between Kagura and Shinpachi on the issue of who shall carry Sakata Gintoki's legacy, Soyo played her next card. "Gin-san wouldn't have rejected a customer, would he?"

Scowling, Kagura crossed her arms in front of her chest. "What do you want me to do?"

Soyo smiled. "…Yoshiwara people have been very kind to me for the past few days, and I want to return them the favor. They are having difficulties looking for Kondo-san's whereabouts. I want you to find him for them."

Kagura stared at Soyo for a while, before the former exhaled a sigh. "I don't know if I can help you with that. Kondo Isao probably is already d –"

"He's not," Soyo affirmed. "…But he could be if we don't find him sooner."

Kagura stared back at Soyo and sighed for the umpteenth time that day. Despite wanting to succeed Gintoki's path, Kagura did not originally have the intention to be involved again in the whole anti-Hitotsubashi faction movement. Politic was not her thing, never would be. Taking a step further into this would defeat her entire objective to stay away from the government-related matters, but…

"…Take your money back."

"I'm doing business here."

"I know," Kagura said. She was going to regret this, she _really_ was going to regret this… "But take your money. I won't accept money for something I should be doing anyway."

Soyo smiled. She knew it. She just needed to crack this hard shell of Kagura to reveal the kind Kagura-chan that she knew was there all along. Soyo was far from being satisfied though. "Oh, but I have an extra request. You'd probably need the money for this."

Kagura gazed at Soyo. When Soyo was certain that Kagura was waiting for her to elaborate more, Soyo cast a glance throughout Yorozuya. This extra wish needed to be spoken with precaution. "Is your brother around?"

Frowning at the question momentarily, Kagura eventually answered, "No. He might have already been in a spaceship to another planet, for all I care."

The relief was evident on Soyo's eyes. "Then I can say his name without any worry. My next request to you, Kagura-chan, in searching for Kondo-san, I want you to work together with Okita-san."

* * *

Kagura flat out rejected the request. She said reasons to which Soyo could easily rebut (Kagura was a good debater, but Soyo was always a better one) –except for one thing that undoubtedly Soyo could not rebut: the fact that Okita was already off in his own mission and would not be easily contactable for a good few weeks. But this and that, Soyo eventually managed to make Kagura promise to contact Okita Sougo once he stepped back to Edo again.

"Aren't you on the government's wanted list now?" Kagura asked after all the 'business talk' was concluded.

"I'm good with escaping and playing hide-and-seek," Soyo reasoned mildly. "Seita helped me cross Kabuki-cho's border. But to be fair, it's actually easier to move around Kabuki-cho. The government is still paranoid over the White Plague here. Well, the cure's been found, but…" she did not finish her statement, but shrugged instead.

Kagura gazed at the vacant ruins of Kabuki-cho. It was indeed easier to navigate within the walls of Kabuki-cho, but still… "This is not your playground anymore."

"I no longer consider this world as my playground, Kagura-chan."

Kagura turned her attention from the streets to Soyo –who apparently had been staring at her all along. Five years was a long period of time. She saw it. People might have thought Kagura was the one changing, they did not know that Soyo did as well.

"…I'm sorry I left. I just… Gin-chan… it hurts to live in a place where I know I won't be seeing him again, and I…I…"

Soyo thought of all those years of confusion. She remembered all those years where she was goddamn worried sick of Kagura's safety –those years of no letters, no news, no friggin clue. Once, Soyo thought that she would not be able to forgive Kagura. But now that she had her here…

"You return," Soyo said softly; clasping her hands around Kagura's. "That's what matters now."

Kagura did not say a word or smile back, but she clasped her fingers around Soyo's as well.

 _Although_ , Soyo deliberated mentally, _for making me worried all these years, a little punishment for Kagura-chan would be fair. I would discuss with Okita-san on these matters. He must have plenty of ideas._

* * *

Soyo called Tsukuyo to let her know that she would be spending the night at the Yorozuya.

Despite the apology and slight opening up, Kagura's exterior was still a hard nut to crack. Soyo had a hunch that she would return to be the tsundere character if Soyo did not play the cards right, so she decided that while Kagura was still in her open and accepting mode, she would utilize it to the maximum point.

"Sleep tight, ladies," Abuto said in a toneless voice as he turned the lamp off.

"Knock it off, Abuto," Kagura muttered at the now closed door.

Soyo smiled and slid her hand to grasp Kagura's. The other girl did not reject it and Soyo snuggled closer. "Is he a Yato too?"

"Just some random uncle-wannabe," muttered Kagura. "But yeah, a Yato."

"You are bonding well with them. Not all of them are as blood thirsty as you said they are, aren't they?"

Kagura scoffed. "Hardly. You don't know the troubles I have to endure to stop those weirdos from butchering people randomly. I dislike them. They give me headache."

Soyo laughed. "Yet you still stick together with them all these years."

Kagura closed her eyes. "… I didn't originally want to, but… they're the remains of the Yato clan. I thought we should just stick up together."

"…"

"I hate my clan. I hate the blood running in our veins, but..." Kagura sighed. "I'm a Yato. That's my identity. And I just want to protect what's left from my clan. Even when we are monsters –"

"You're not," Soyo confirmed, and the memory of that night where she gave permission to Kamui to kill those people resurfaced. The brunette-haired girl closed her eyes tightly. She might not be a Yato, she might not be born a monster, but a small part of her believed that she was not a better creature.

( _Please, no. Aniue-sama won't like it…_ )

"You're strong, Kagura-chan," Soyo stated –diverting her thought from her own inner devil. "You manage to silence your bloodlust and control your Yato thirst, don't you?"

There was a sigh, and Kagura turned her body to her side so that she could stare at Soyo's eyes. Smiling (and Soyo's heart leaped), Kagura grabbed Soyo's hand. "…Because I have you. I have Gin-chan, Shinpachi, Anego, those tax-eaters and the others," Kagura admitted. "Now that I think of it… I think I'm the lucky one."

"You are a kind girl to begin with," Soyo decided. "Even without us, you will be alright."

"True, but… if I think of my clansmen…sometimes, you know, sometimes I can't really blame them," Kagura noted. "I know perfectly that what they're doing is wrong, but… at the same time, I understand. It's instinct. Sometimes, it's the least that we can control, because it comes out secondhand nature for them, for us."

"I think you're a good influence to them," Soyo said. "I mean, I saw that Abuto guy. I think he's pretty civil."

Kagura laughed. "You just haven't seen that old man in battlefield. He nearly killed me years ago, you know? But yeah, now that I spend more time with them, I do realize that I can… connect to them, and understand them more," she said as she closed her eyes. "Except my brother."

To this statement, Soyo could understand. She might not have any fighting instinct, but she had good instinct in judging people in the first place.

Kamui was different from the rest of the Yato.

It was not only in terms of fighting skill (Okita once slipped off saying that aside from Utsuro –which was a completely different case– Kamui was the strongest opponent he had ever encountered in his life); it was in terms of belief, of life philosophy. No, it was something much simpler. The man would not swear any allegiance, and he lived for the simple thrill of killing and fighting. Any Yato was probably like that; but Kamui took it to the extreme.

"Nobody inherits the Yato blood thicker than him," affirmed Kagura. "Not even my father –" she paused, her grasp around Soyo's hand tightened.

"… I've heard about your father," Soyo softly whispered. "I'm so sorry, Kagura-chan."

Soyo caught Kagura wiping something off her eyes. "Well," the orange-haired girl began again, but she pulled her hand away from Soyo's grasp. "The old man is just… old. Rusty."

Soyo knew when not to press a subject. She got up slightly to pull the blanket closer to Kagura and softly caressed her hair. The Yato girl was slowly lulled to sleep and Soyo smiled at the sight. Kagura was the same Kagura after all. She caressed Kagura's hair one more time before Soyo descended down the bed herself and pulled the blanket to her chin and –

There were noisy barks.

Her tired mind had associated the barks with the neighbor's dog, but it was Kagura who immediately rose from her sleeping position and exclaimed, "Sadaharu?!"

Now that Soyo listened to the barks more carefully, it was indeed quite familiar. Following Kagura who had already jumped off the bed to climb the stairs down, Soyo tightened her sleeping coat over her body and sleepily stood behind Kagura as the latter hugged her dog –insistent in muttering apologies to her beloved pet.

But Sadaharu did not quiet down. He barked more fervently to the point that their neighbors shouted for him to shut up. Not that Sadaharu paid attention to the neighbor. He continued barking at Kagura and Soyo –lightly biting Kagura's arm and tried to drag her.

"What is it, Sadaharu?" Kagura realized that Sadaharu was acting weird as well. "Is there something wrong? Are you hurt anywhere?"

Soyo widened her eyes when she realized what Sadaharu was trying to say. Sadaharu had been raised by Seita all these time, and that could only mean –

"Yoshiwara," Soyo muttered –fear on her eyes. "Something's wrong in Yoshiwara."

* * *

"So, so, Jiraia," Kamui spoke up from the top of Edo Terminal's building. He gazed down to see the convoy of human-sized drums being transported into the gigantic space ship. There had been a massive loading of such drums and Kamui did not need to look into each of those drums to know that it was women they were loading into the spaceship. "Since my help does not seem to be necessary, why don't we just begin our fight now?"

Jiraia watched at the same sight, saying not a word.

Kamui exhaled a sigh. This was what he got from promising to help. Next time, he would remind himself not to be too merciful to his opponent. "Those government officials do not need any help, clearly. They've been transporting those prostitutes without much of a hassle. Our help is not needed."

"Wait," Jiraia finally spoke. "We're going to wait until all those women are safely kept inside the spaceship before we help out."

"There won't be much of a help we can do if all of them have been transported safely into –" Kamui paused. "Wait, we're not helping the government here?"

"You're going to help me abort the government's mission. We're gonna save those Yoshiwara ladies."

Kamui opened his mouth wide –silently questioning ' _Are you kidding me?_ ' to Jiraia.

When Jiraia made no point of correcting himself, Kamui was ascertained that he, for once, was siding with the good side instead of the villain side. Well, not that the content nor purpose of the help mattered –all he wanted was a fight with Jiraia – and Kamui knew he would have no problem slaying all these government officials. It just felt funny and kind of ironic that he would be doing this kind of job. Again, not that it mattered, but –

"You should have told me."

"I never told you otherwise," retorted Jiraia.

"Fine, fine," Kamui accepted the argument and squatted down. "So, when do we attack those officials?"

"Once the last drum enters the space ship. I will infiltrate the control room and destroy the system. You would take care of the revolt."

Kamui was at least glad Jiraia left the fun part of the job to him.

They got into another silence. Kamui started to grow impatient. He knew that the current government officials were infamous for being bureaucratically slow, but couldn't they just roll those drums in faster? Just how heavy was one drum anyway?

There was a loud commotion down below. Kamui looked down to see that there seemed to be another force coming. Dozens of black-clad women with kunais were approaching the terminal.

"Tsukuyo," Jiraia heaved a sigh. "Listen Kamui, when you're taking care of those government official, do not harm any of the girls."

Kamui did not want to make promise he could not keep, so he asked Jiraia instead, "What, your lover is there?" Jiraia did not bother to clarify, and Kamui could only sigh. "What is it with Yoshiwara's women that always weaken strong men's resolve? What is it with women, anyway?"

Breaking the silence that night for the first time with a laugh, Jiraia turned to Kamui, "You're still a brat, aren't you?"

The implication was clear, and Kamui would like to clarify. "I wouldn't let weaklings, mostly called women, to get into my way."

"Be careful, Kamui," Jiraia muttered before he drew the mouth cover over his lips. "A man is as good as dead once he underestimates a woman's strength," he warned before he leaped into the night –running towards the spaceship's control room.

* * *

 **To be continued**

* * *

 **A/n:** I know the Kamusoyo interactions are scarce in this fanfic, and hopefully, I am allowed to say it's for a reason. Don't worry, for Kamusoyo shippers, I'll make them smooch each other sometime later in the story, should you be willing to wait, hehe.

On a side note, sadkljflksdaf, Shogun Assassination Arc's anime episodes are coming! Not only that it's the only arc that has Kamusoyo interaction (better be good, animation team), but that arc is seriously my (and probably everybody's) favorite Gintama arc. And can I say I really fall in love with the way Soyo say "Aniue-sama"? ^^ Sorry for the spazz, adfkjalds.


	6. The Women in Red

**A/n:** Double-chapter update again this week. Kindly go to Chapter 5 for where this story last left you.

* * *

 **What Pumps the Blood (Faster)**

 _ **Chapter 6 – The Women in Red**_

* * *

The thing was, even this got boring.

A Harusame pirate from the Sixth Division once called him a mad dog –going as far as to associate the Yato clan as barbaric, and at times, cannibalistic. Well, Kamui couldn't deny the fact that the way they fought was rather barbaric rather than elegant like those samurais. And he also couldn't deny that some Yato clansmen actually did eat the fleshes of their own kinds. But at the end of the day, Kamui believed being a Yato was actually much simpler than that.

It was the desire, the understanding where the only place where they could truly be alive was in a battlefield.

 _But not this kind_ _of battlefield,_ he thought as he kept his lips pursed in a thin line –gone was his eager smirk. Enthusiasm was running out as the government officials' bodies were crushed by his fists. He memorized the sound already; he remembered the scent of metallic blood –all these battlefield sensation gone dull, it was too easy, he lusted for none of these.

"What are you doing here?!"

The voice was loud and obnoxious, but Kamui would recognize that voice anywhere. The flash of bright orange hair nearly identical to his was a vibrant addition to those boring red, and he soon came into a contact with none other than his crybaby sister.

Squashing the head of the soldier on his right, Kamui smiled at his sister, "What are _you_ doing here?"

Mimicking her brother, but in a (considerably) more pacific manner, Kagura swung her umbrella towards the upcoming government officials –sending them flying in a count of seconds. "Taking care of the mess you created! I told you not to mess up with people on earth!" Kagura roared as she batted her umbrella and pushed her other opponents to her brother instead.

Kamui took accurate steps in avoiding them all, more skulls crushed and hearts pierced in the process (to Kagura's darkening mood). "If you haven't noticed already, our opponents are the same."

The look on Kagura's face was precious –like the notion of Kamui siding with morality could only come when the world's population was completely annihilated. But she took note on his point and the evidence he gave. Clicking her tongue and tightened her grip around Sadaharu's neck more, she gave him another batting of umbrella (which he effortlessly evaded) and warned him, "Don't go into unnecessary killing rampage! Just immobilize these people without killing them!"

The big brother put up an innocent face as he jumped and stepped at more officials. The amount of blood splattered made it clear that he was not heeding his sister's words. "You just asked for the impossible, Sis."

Kagura clenched her teeth. She did not need to deal with Kamui's obsession at this point of time. She still had to find Tsukuyo and free all the Yoshiwara girls –Hinowa included. Fighting Kamui would make her lose a lot of times, but on the other hand, she could not allow Kamui to play judgment on these officials –regardless of how dishonored they were. Giving an angry roar, she was about to lay a hit to Kamui's head when Abuto interjected and prevented the siblings from hurting each other.

"Returning you the favor," the messy-haired guy remarked as he lifted Kamui over his shoulders. "You go handle the situation around here, little miss. Leave the stupid captain to his subordinate."

"Thanks Abuto!" Kagura yelled out, and went to another area where she could practice her batting skill more.

As Kagura leaped and left their sights, Kamui spoke to Abuto. "You know, the only reason I'm not fighting you back is because I'm curious as to whether you favor my sister more than me now," Kamui said as he made himself more comfortable over Abuto's shoulders. Kamui wrapped his legs around Abuto's neck just in case Abuto's answer did not satisfy him.

Abuto swayed his big arm to the confronting soldiers and cleared the way out of Edo Terminal yard area to a more secluded corner. "The only reason you'd do this kind of job is when there's a catch behind it. Rather than tiring yourself up, let's just leave these mundane matters to your sister and I'll help you reach your original aim instead."

Brightening his face up upon hearing Abuto's answer, Kamui relaxed his legs around Abuto's neck –but still refusing to climb down Abuto's shoulders. "You always know what I want the most, Abuto," he remarked in satisfaction.

"Just how long do you think I've been coping up with you?" Abuto stated tonelessly –crushing the seemingly endless approaching soldiers. "So which way to go?"

Holding Abuto's hair with his left hand and pointing to the big space ship at the center with his right hand, Kamui cheered, "To the control room!"

Abuto obeyed.

Though…

"Captain?"

"Hmm?"

"Would you mind walking by yourself instead?" the older guy pointed out to the fact that Kamui was still sitting comfortably around his shoulders.

"Nuh," Kamui replied as he clenched Abuto's hair tighter. "Not everyday I can ride my own horse, so go straight up to the control room!" the captain announced happily.

* * *

Jiiya never let her step into the kitchen, much less to touch knife or any sharp object for that matter.

But there she was, holding the short sword Shinpachi lent her as she tore up the ropes that were tied around the drums. Opening the lid of the drum, she could find the struggling-yet-tied Yoshiwara woman inside each of the drum. Soyo reached out to the inside of the drum and as carefully as she could so as not to hurt the woman, tear the ropes that tied them up.

"How many more?!" Shinpachi screamed from the entrance as he tried to prevent more officials infiltrating the space ship. He and Seita had taken care of those guarding the inside the space ship, but the rest others in the yard had realized their attempts on releasing the Yoshiwara women and were barging inside the space ship.

Soyo glanced at the dozens of drums that were still not opened. The women who were already released were mostly civilians and not the Hyakka –none was armed, and while some did try to help releasing their friends who were still tied inside the drum, they needed sharp objects –which were not much in supply. "Er…" Soyo responded noncommittally. They had opened a back passage, and most of the women were trying to flee anyway.

Heaving a frustrated sigh (with only one sword, there was no way she could release all these women before Shinpachi and Seita were eventually outnumbered), Soyo gazed around and caught the sight of a few group of freed women who still remained in the ship to help releasing the others. Futile, Soyo knew. They needed swords, knives –

 _That._

She headed to a large window pane on their backside and started banging her borrowed sword to the window. She cursed under her breath. She was no Okita –there was no way she could destroy this window to glass shards with her power. She needed, she needed …

"Shinpachi! Seita!" she screamed from the back part of the loading floor to Shinpachi who was guarding the front entrance. "Throw any of those men this way! Aim to the window!"

"What?!"

"The window! We need many glass shards so that the released women can help releasing the –"

The riots broke Shinpachi's concentration. "I can't hear you!"

Gritting her teeth, Soyo tried to scream louder, "The window! Throw something –"

The windows shattered into millions of shards before Soyo could finish her statement.

Instinctively, Soyo shielded her face, but in those seconds and in between those shattering pieces of glass, she could see the bizarre image of a big man and a smaller one riding over the former's shoulders. She managed to catch the sight of what just happened: the fist that easily broke the window and the childish smile on that demon's face.

"Would this do?" Kamui referred quickly before he and Abuto (who obediently still became his horse) leaped away from the first floor and dashed up to towards the stairs to the next level of the space ship.

Soyo blinked momentarily at the unlikely assist, but realized that she had no moment to waste. Collecting the bigger shards (and ignoring the cuts on her palms), she hurried herself to the remaining women. She handed one of them who looked the most capable her sword and distributed the glass shards to the rest –taking another piece of glass for herself.

With the employment of more Yoshiwara women, the operation to release the remaining women was done more effectively. Soyo knew she could not stop there. Cutting the ropes with shards was definitely harder than cutting it with sword. Soyo clenched her grip around the shard and screamed as she tried to rip off the rope –the shard digging onto her skin more as she did so. It hurt, but Shinpachi and Seita were risking their lives buying Soyo time to release all of them, so even when her entire palms were already tainted red, she knew she could not stop.

"Come on," Soyo muttered in agitation as the ropes refused to be easily torn. "Come on!"

A piece of kunai came into her line of sight. Out of reflex, Soyo thought of evading, but a second later, she realized that the kunai was only used to help her tear the ropes. Looking at her left, she found Tsukuyo by her side.

"A princess' hand should not be marred like this," Tsukuyo said regretfully as she gently pushed Soyo behind. "Rest easy, Princess. The Hyakka is here now."

* * *

"How anti-climatic," Jiraia commented to the newcomer in the control room. He calmly sat on the chair placed right in front of the controlling pane –or the remains of it.

Kamui jumped off Abuto's shoulder easily (and Abuto groaned as he flexed his arms. " _Finally,_ " _Abuto_ _sighed_ ) and walked towards the sitting Jiraia. There were dead bodies of the pilots and space ships' crews near Jiraia's feet. Kamui found no reason why he should not have stepped on them, so he did –squashing the corpses even more in the process. "Anti-climatic?" Kamui asked back. Nudging at the finished ship crew and the destroyed control room, Kamui noted, "You successfully did your job. The spaceship cannot take off now. Though, hmm… I'd have to find a new spaceship to hijack, but that's okay."

Jiraia spun his chair around so that he could watch at the large monitor in front of him –the only thing that was still functioning in the control room. He could see the images of the completely defeated government forces and the Yoshiwara women who were running free from the spaceship through the back passage. The Hitotsubashi would not be pleased and they would send reinforcement, but Jiraia was sure that by the time the reinforcement arrived, no Yoshiwara women could be found in this place.

"She can do it herself," Jiraia noted as the image of Tsukuyo flashed on the monitor. "I don't even need to destroy this cockpit, and my student is already able to save Yoshiwara herself."

"Yeah, that's cool. She's a talented student and you're an awesome teacher. Congratulation on the successful mission, yay, you did it," Kamui said monotonously. "But most importantly, can I collect your debt now?"

Jiraia spun his chair again so that he faced Kamui. Abuto had taken a liking to the spot on the corner. He exhaled a deep sigh, but it was not as if he did not remember his captain's antics by heart.

"At full force. Attack me," allowed Jiraia.

* * *

"We have to leave now. The Hitotsubashi must have heard about this incident and they will come back with double the force," rasped Tsukuyo as she worked on the last row of the drums.

"Yoshiwara is not safe now," Shinpachi informed as he assisted Tsukuyo. "Go to Kabuki-cho."

Soyo sighed as she gazed at the large group of women who were running out of the space ship. "I don't know whether the backway of the terminal is cleared. I think one of you must lead the way for the girls to safely escape the terminal."

"Kagura's out there," Shinpachi reasoned. "She can guard them on the way to Kabuki-cho."

"Not the entire group," Soyo deliberated. "The government's alarmed now. Running in a big pack is suicidal. We must separate into several different routes."

"Seita and Hinowa have taken some to the east gate. The Hyakka can assist the second batch to Yoshiwara's secret underground tunnel," Tsukuyo mentioned as she signaled one of her subordinates to take care of the first group. "Kagura can lead the way to Kabuki-cho. Shinpachi, do you remember the hidden passage that Katsura used that time?"

Nodding, Shinpachi glanced at his surrounding. There were not many girls left to be released. "You can handle this here?"

"I'll guard Soyo as well," Tsukuyo promised. "We'll lead the last batch to the west river."

Assured with the plan, Shinpachi quickly jumped off the space ship and began leading the remaining panicked girls to his appointed passage way. Tsukuyo and Soyo gave a last glance to Shinpachi before they quickly worked on the last barrel. The girl inside was tied like the others, and upon cutting the ropes, a Hyakka who remained by Tsukuyo's side lifted the crying girl up.

"Great, now let's go," announced Tsukuyo.

"Tsukuyo-sama," called out one of the Hyakka.

"What?"

"Nothing, it's just… nevermind –"

"What is it?!"

"I-I might be mistaken, b-but… a while ago, I saw Jiraia-sama here. O-on the level above."

Tsukuyo froze. Her breath hitched as she remembered the memory of her teacher. "H-he's alive?"

"I-I might be mistaken, so –"

"He's heading where, you said?" Soyo asked. When the Hyakka girl motioned up stairs, Soyo felt the lurk of unpleasant feeling in her stomach again. Turning to Tsukuyo, who did not look like she could handle the news of her still alive teacher, Soyo still felt the need to inform her, "That's where the monster went as well…"

The additional information did not seem to work well on Tsukuyo, because her pale face turned a shade even paler at the reference.

"Tsukuyo-sama, I shouldn't have told you this –"

"We should leave," Soyo reminded Tsukuyo. Touching the older woman's arm, Soyo forced Tsukuyo to look at her. "I don't know who that man is to you, but you know your priorities. Those women need your guidance. You, we, have to leave. Now."

* * *

 _Now this was what he was looking for._

Spitting a mouthful of blood to the floor, Kamui grinned. For the last fifteen minutes of fight, he knew he had earned broken left ribs, a bruise to his right eye, and a dislocated shoulder. Oh well, he knew these injuries would heal in no time. He thought there must have been a masochistic side inside of him somewhere –because he got thrilled from the idea that someone managed to inflict injuries on him.

Though the damage on the other side was rather irreversible.

Jiraia coughed blood severely as he knelt on the floor. Jiraia's left arm was gone, and he could barely walk. Kamui knew he had landed a lethal jab to his liver. Kamui was not completely sure, but judging from the amount of blood Jiraia coughed out, there was a likely chance some of Jiraia's other internal organs were damaged as well.

Abuto sighed. The match had a clear victor already. His role to be his captain's ride had ended anyway, and he did not want to unnecessarily deal with Edo government (judging by the roaring, upcoming siren). "Captain, if you don't need any of my help, I'll just go look for the young miss, okay? You're listening? You're not. You never do. Fine," Abuto concluded himself as he turned around, broke a window and created a faster exit out of the spaceship.

Ignoring Abuto and squatting in front of Jiraia, Kamui smiled encouragingly to him. "I won't take the entire credit. I think if you had been younger you would have been able to inflict additional injuries on me. And," Kamui tilted his head slightly. "Hmm, you already have old wounds that could never fully heal, eh? Ah, you should have told me. I would have halved my strength for you."

"Don't disgrace yourself," Jiraia muttered. "I-if there's anything I like about you, I know you're the type that respects his opponent b-by going at full force."

Kamui blinked. It was not everyday that someone actually complimented his fighting philosophy. Others would only classify him as ruthless and unethical. Ah. Perhaps it took a real fighter to understand the true meaning behind a fight. Kamui felt like he was liking Jiraia more, but…

"Then, you won't mind if I finish you at full force now, do you?" Kamui decided; the smirk never left his face.

* * *

Soyo heard the incoming police siren. _Not now_ …

She already felt like she wanted to pass out. Her energy had been drained from trying to release those women, and she had never been one cut for much of a physical exercise. Soyo looked ahead at the group of girls in front of her. They were still at the Terminal yard, but at least the girls at the front had nearly reached the back gate. They only needed to pass the gate and then Tsukuyo could lead the way to their temporary hideout. Now, Tsukuyo –

She glanced at her side and felt coldness ran through her spine when the said woman was no longer in sight. Panicked, she turned to the Hyakka girl on her other side and demanded, "Where is Tsukuyo-san?!"

"W-wasn't she beside you?" the Hyakka girl exclaimed back.

Soyo dreadfully looked behind her –to the terminal tower where the main spaceship was parked. It was dark, but the swiftest movement that went inside there was unmistakable.

"Tsukuyo!"

* * *

"Come on, man," Kamui groaned at the event that just unfolded before his eyes. He was so close on laying the final jab to Jiraia's skull, but faster than his hand, was this slim body sliding just between –preventing the hit to Jiraia's head, and causing a deep gash on the woman's shoulder instead.

"T-Tsukuyo…" Jiraia murmured beneath the girl.

Tsukuyo bit her lips, preventing the tears from falling from her eyes. She knew this man did not need her tears –not after all that he had done to her, to Gintoki, to Yoshiwara… but still. "S-Sensei…"

"Now this is the anti-climatic one, Jiraia," commented Kamui. "How can you let a girl, ah, is this the girl you've been wanting to protect? Hmm, wait, that scar… hey, you're that white samurai's girlfriend, aren't you?!" recognized Kamui. "Ah, too bad your boyfriend died already. I would have –"

Tsukuyo's grip on her kunai never weakened as the sharp tip made it to Kamui's neck.

Kamui groaned as he forcefully pulled out the kunai from his neck. It missed his vocal chord but it did make breathing a tad bit more uncomfortable to do. "Damn woman…" he growled; his voice hoarser than usual as he intended to grab Tsukuyo's neck and twist it. Ah, he missed. That wouldn't be enough to kill her. Pity. This woman was strong enough for her kind, although Kamui knew that she was not a threat for him. Her talent would be wasted – _if she had child with the white-haired samurai, the kids would be insanely strong, too bad, Kamui mused._

A dull pain spread on his stomach. He smirked at the sight. Jiraia covering for Tsukuyo instead, and even in his dying condition, he still made the last attempt to use Tsukuyo's kunai to pierce his stomach.

 _But,_ Kamui smirked, _Not enough._

His fist was clenched as his knuckles were ready to smash both people in a single strike. Tsukuyo could barely move; Jiraia miraculously could still even breathe, but that was not enough –

 _Now._

He paused.

Hmm.

Funny.

Very, very funny.

Blood seeped out of his left chest, but it would not taint his already black attire (and didn't he have a black heart to begin with?). Kamui looked down to his chest –seeing a single sword stabbing him from his back, piercing the flesh and muscles of his left chest, until the tip of its sword appeared on his front side. His eyes made a quick scan to the two people below him. No, not Jiraia. Not the samurai's girlfriend either.

He turned around to the monster he dared to turn his back into.

And Kamui's eyes widened.

 _You've got to be kidding me…_

Soyo trembled as she released her grip around the hilt of the sword she just perfectly pierced into Kamui's heart.

* * *

 **To be Continued**


	7. Tea Time with the Madhatter

**What Pumps the Blood (Faster)**

 _ **Chapter 7 – Tea Time with the Madhatter**_

* * *

The ground shook.

Jiraia gritted his teeth. He had set this spaceship on its auto-destruct mode earlier; he had intended to bury himself and the ex Harusame pirate as the conclusion of their fight anyway. But Tsukuyo's presence there was out of his calculation. It also did not help that Tsukuyo was rendered unconscious by Kamui. And this situation would probably kill his student as well…

 _Tsukuyo cannot die here._

Affirming his resolve in his mind, Jiraia forced himself to stay alive. He still had a duty to do, a debt to be repaid. Glancing around, he found a hole the other bigger Yato man created to escape earlier. Throwing Tsukuyo from that height would kill the girl, but letting her stay there with this crumbling spaceship would not be any better. Jiraia knew he had to act. He had to decide. Now.

Shielding Tsukuyo with his remaining arm, Jiraia used the moment where Kamui was distracted to drag his body and Tsukuyo's to the hole Abuto left. He felt like he made the slowest movement, but even so, he had to be faster than time –he had to be faster than the downfall of this space ship. When he finally reached the hole, he looked down and confirmed Tsukuyo would not survive if she was to be thrown from that range. His earlier fight with Kamui made it impossible for him to prepare his spider webs to save Tsukuyo.

There was only one way.

Jiraia turned his body around until he laid flat on his back. He tightened his grip around Tsukuyo's body and pushed himself out to the empty air. Now he just had to focus on his balance. He needed to make sure the position would not be reversed and Tsukuyo could use his body as a safeguard when his collided with the rocky ground.

Before he gave himself the last kick that would send him off to the open air, Jiraia caught the briefest glance of the other little girl –who was now at the clutch of the former Harusame pirate.

 _I'm sorry, little girl_ , Jiraia apologized mentally as he felt the rush of wind on his back; gravity was pulling him down. He could only afford saving one life. If it came to choosing whose life he had to save among the four, undoubtedly, it would be his favorite student's.

* * *

Kamui felt his head was spinning and his breath was running short. Blood seeped out of his lips, and for the rarest time, he felt his fingers were actually making efforts to crush something.

The girl's neck was within his grasp, but he felt like his consciousness was fading and his grip was weakening. Under normal circumstances, even the littlest amount of force he gave could and would crush one's neck, but this time, he actually _struggled_ to do so. The disbelief of what just happened still clouded his mind, but he had to kill this girl. He had to kill –

The floor below them shattered.

* * *

Kagura turned her head around at the sudden blast.

She instructed Sadaharu to stop. She witnessed how the mighty spaceship crumbled like a toy tower being kicked. The sound was nearly deafening and she could already hear the panicked screams from the Yoshiwara women and the town peoples around her. Kagura bit her lips. She had a bad feeling about it, but she knew for sure that all groups had departed the terminal and none of the Yoshiwara people nor her friends were still there.

 _None_ , Kagura assured herself. _There was none._

* * *

Soyo believed she should have died five years prior.

A part of her had been dead, she knew. With the death of her most beloved person, she knew a part of her had already died on the very same day. The corpse that she was carrying with her own muscles –her own body– was only a shell moved by the faintest will to witness the emergence of the country her brother vowed to create. Apparently, she wouldn't even have the chance to witness the birth of the new Edo.

Her breath was running short and her sight was blurred by so many things –dusts, debris, tears.

"Aniue-sama," she whispered to the nothingness, to the brother that would never answer.

Soyo's body felt sore all over, and she did not even want to know how much blood she had possibly lost (probably plenty enough to make her see her brother again). Nevertheless, she forced herself to study her surroundings. Rocks, ruins, nothing much. There was a vacant space above her head. Large ruins of the blasted spaceship fell in certain angles that still gave her sufficient gap to stand up.

If she could stand up.

The dusts and debris were choking her. She felt nauseous. She knew she would die, and it seemed that this would be a slow death.

Now that Soyo thought about it, she probably should have let her brother's enemies assassinate her back then. It would have been a quicker death.

 _Everything happened for a reason, Soyo,_ she reminded herself. The fact that she was to endure a slow death was probably a punishment for her. She should have followed her brother earlier. Nobunobu's government might have granted her immunity for the past five years, but she should have rejected it, should have ended her life instead. Ah. Her brother must have been lonely all these times. Right. This was her punishment. She should have –

She heard a throaty groan beside her.

…

Soyo was already tired from all of this. It was awful enough that she had to die by running out of oxygen to breathe. At the very least her slow death should have passed in a peaceful solitude. The fact that she had to share her dying moment with a space pirate who tried to kill her was really a bit too much.

But now that she was at the brink of death, Soyo knew this factor was meaningless anyway.

She had rather ignored everything and closed her eyes.

Hopefully, death would come when she was asleep.

* * *

Soyo opened her eyes.

She did not know how many minutes, hours, ( _days?_ ) had passed, but there she was –buried between the ruins of the spaceship, but still alive.

A very slow death indeed.

…

Soyo eventually tried to move the muscles of her fingers. She thought that the impact of the hit would paralyze her entire body, but it seemed that she was still able to make some movements. Her fingers curled and uncurled and she tried to move her neck. To the left, yes she could, to the right, yes she could – and… there was this psycho's face right next to her.

She did not want to wake up. But the thought of laying right next to a man who could crush her heart with the simplest gesture did not put her mind at rest. She knew that she was ready for her death ( _really?_ ), but Soyo felt that at the very least, she still had the right to choose the place to die. The cramped space beneath the ruins did not give her many options. But she supposed she could still shift slightly to distance herself from his body.

Soyo forced herself to roll away. She silently groaned during the process because her entire bones were screaming when she did so. But then laying on her stomach did not feel comfortable at all, and Soyo mustered all of her strength to push her body up. Her muscles were contracting and she had never felt as much pain before in her life, but she tried to endure it. She needed to sit up.

And she did.

With heavy breaths, she tried to study the situation better.

The dusts were thinning and she could have a better view of the ruins. There was a gap on her side –she supposed it was where the oxygen was coming from. The space between the ruins was far from being large, but considering the situation, it was actually pretty spacious.

Now what?

The groan returned and Soyo flinched at the sound. She quickly averted her attention to Kamui –who was still laying on the same spot; his eyes were still closed. Soyo forgot the details on the turns of events (and not that she could remember much when Kamui's hand had been around her neck), but it appeared that Kamui had managed to pull off the sword she had stabbed right onto his chest earlier.

A normal man would have died from that stab, Soyo thought slowly. Well, to give more pats on her back, it appeared that her lucky stab was able to knock him unconscious longer than she had even predicted.

 _Take that, animal,_ she cursed as she drew her knees to her chest. Both of them would die eventually, but Soyo took the slightest glee upon realizing that her chance of living might slightly be longer than Kamui's.

* * *

Soyo snapped her eyes open, again.

A bitter laugh escaped her lips. How long had it been? She was still alive, huh? Soyo flexed her legs; it did not hurt as much as it did earlier. She also found that her bleeding had actually been rather minor. Her eyes scanned around the ruins around her –inevitably her gaze fell to the sight of the other existence in the ruins.

Her finger clutched small debris that was the size of a pebble. She drew the object near her face and gazed at Kamui again.

Out of reflex, she threw the pebble-sized debris to the man.

"Still alive, there?" she inquired –her voice sounded funny in the small space.

Kamui did not say a word but there was a rustle of movement. Soyo flinched slightly, but Kamui made no further move and she relaxed thereafter.

Sighing, Soyo decided to drag her body closer to him. She must have been crazy. Defying her previous efforts to get away from him, she instead pushed her body back to her original spot, and sat there beside him.

The man was still unconscious. His chest rose up and down in slow intervals. She darkly gazed at his figure: the man who could have killed her brother; who had attempted to kill her various times already; who had indeed killed a lot, _countless_ people.

Something sinister seethed inside her heart.

"Why don't you just die?" she whispered.

Kamui made no response, made no grunt or movement either. The only thing that assured Soyo that he was still alive was only his steady breathing. Soyo coldly stare at Kamui's face. No one would have thought such an innocent face was able to smile brightly upon the sight of a crushed, recently-beating heart. What an irony.

"People like you should die, you know," Soyo softly spoke. "People like you, who do not give a damn to the lives of other people. Monster like you. Y-you…" her heart weighed. "It is people like you who should die. N-not my brother."

Not her brother – _never_ her brother. What had her brother ever done wrong? A gentle man who spent his lifetime thinking of other people instead… Why such noble man, the man this country needed had to die? Especially when this monster –who could bring nothing but misfortune – be allowed to live, to have more chances to kill, to destroy? Her brother was more deserving. Her brother's life was more precious, more _worthy_. Her brother was supposed to live. Her brother was needed by many, while there was no one who would need an existence as vile as –

 _Kagura-chan…_

Soyo quickly drew a hand to cover her lips.

 _No, Soyo,_ she reminded herself. Even Kagura detested her own brother. This man was no family to Kagura. How could a man who nearly killed his own sister be considered as a family? Kagura did not need someone like him. Someone like him should still die, should –

If her brother had still been alive…

Soyo was stunned.

If her brother was still alive, what would he do? Her brother was a bit loose in the head, but her brother was too kind for his own good. Had it been her brother, he would have… he would have…

Soyo shook her head and chuckled darkly.

But _she_ was not her brother.

Soyo had no doubt that if it were her brother in her position, he would not hesitate in doing anything he could do to save the man –even when such man had tried to kill him. Her naïve brother, her stupid brother. She loved him, but there was a limit to humanity. Even the world would not forgive –

"Aniue-sama is an idiot," Soyo gave a helpless laugh as tears fell from her eyes. "Idiot… so idiot…"

Her brother was an idiot, indeed.

And she, the sister, was crazy, _indeed._

* * *

Her hand did not tremble the slightest when she opened Kamui's Chinese-style shirt. Soyo had killed the rational side of her brain, and moved on a mechanic's accords instead. She did not think and could not think of anything when she spread the fabric of his shirt aside; his pale torso marred with blood came into sight.

Soyo quickly spotted the stabbing wound she inflicted upon him. It was healing fast, but a hole still existed on his chest and the blood was still gushing out of the wound. She turned her gaze momentarily to the lower part of her modest kimono and without much of a thought, she tore a handful of it. Skillfully folding the fabric onto a palm-sized square, she extended her arm to his chest and pressed the cloth onto his wound.

He grunted; she froze.

Only when she was sure that his eyes were still closed that Soyo continued pressing the cloth onto his wound again. Leaving the piece of clothing on top of the hole in his chest, Soyo tore more layer of her own kimono, that time, tearing it in a width that would make the cloth a long bandage-makeshift. Figuring out that she had the sufficient length, Soyo stared at the man again and knew what she had to do.

"Goodness," she heaved when she snaked her arm beneath his body and tried to lift his upper body up. His weight on her arm made her arm tremble, but she pushed his body more until he was sitting on the ground; his head was rested on her shoulder as she tried to roll the bandage around his torso. The proximity would have made the late Jiiya yelp –for Soyo was practically embracing Kamui as she rolled the bandages.

Her breaths were nearly running out by the time she finished securing several layers of bandage rolls around his torso. She made a quick tie to secure the bandage in place and with her tired arms, Soyo pushed his body back so that his back would rest on the stone wall behind him instead.

Only when she managed to have him resting back on the stone wall did Soyo realize that his clear blue eyes were open.

Parting her lips, ever so slowly, Soyo backed away –her dark chocolate eyes were fixed on his piercing blue ones.

No word escaped her lips, but her eyes must have conveyed everything she felt inside: fear, regret, anxiety –everything that a murderer like him sure was used to.

And after the agonizing tension, it was him who finally broke the silence –though never the eye contact.

"Make up your mind, will you?"

So stunned was Soyo, that it took her three seconds longer before she could mumble out a weak, "Huh?"

Kamui looked down at the bandages rolled around his torso. He examined his torn shirt and gave her a playful gaze that seemed to say ' _were you trying to rape me in my sleep_?', but instead, what came out from his lips was another query. "Weren't you trying to kill me? Why did you treat me instead?"

She hoped to detect sarcasm in his tone, but Soyo decided that Kamui was rarely the sarcastic type. Not that she knew him well enough for that, but she knew she was good in detecting cynicism (just how many new Bakufu officials smiled when whispering ' _useless puppet princess'_ under their breaths?) and she found no hidden agenda in his question.

It was merely curiosity –an honest one at that.

"…It's not for your sake," Soyo finally spoke. "I would have let you die here without a second thought."

"Ouch," he grinned. "How heartless, Hime-sama."

"You deserve to die," she whispered.

"Only by those stronger than me. If any. And certainly," Kamui trailed, his arm reached out slowly to her kimono-clad arm. So thin, so frail. Was this the same hand holding the sword that pierced his heart? Even back then, he remembered that the policeman's sword, while was aimed to his left chest, did not pierce his heart. To think that this hand was the one who made it…Kamui was more curious than offended. "Certainly not by this hand."

Even when he was a skilled fighter, he took no haste in reaching up for her arm. Soyo should have been able to draw back or hide her arm or something. She did not. And she let him touch her hand; his fingers were loosely encircled around her wrist.

It felt burning.

She maintained her gaze at him. "Let go."

Kamui never listened to what people told him to do. Ignoring her request, he only lifted her arm, her kimono's sleeve rid up slightly in the process. With one hand, he casually flipped her hand –not enough force to hurt her but enough spontaneity that made her terrorized nonetheless. He gave not the slightest care to her reaction. "Hmm, you don't seem to hide any secret weapon," he spoke more to himself rather than to her. Experimentally, he weighed her hand, trying to measure her worth, "Not enough muscle mass to actually lift anything heavy either…" he continued, and this time scratched his nail on her skin. Soyo yelped at the sudden minor attack, the finest trail of blood made its mark on her skin. Kamui whistled, "Extremely slow reflex as well, hmm."

"Let go!" Soyo demanded.

Kamui did, but not without letting his thumb brush the slight tear he made on her skin. Her blood tinted his thumb, and out of nothing but sheer habit, he licked the blood on it. Tilting his head, he passed her the verdict. "You sure were just lucky."

It was not as if Soyo did not know that. It was not as if she wanted to kill him. She just wanted to stop him, stop Kamui before he could inflict any further damages to Tsukuyo. If she got a little overboard and ended up seeming as if she wanted to kill him, well, it would be a nice bonus.

Kamui leaned back to the stone wall behind him, yet it seemed that he had not decided to shift his attention from her. Not that he had other object that he could focus on in this small gap of ruins. Ah, of course. He could easily get out of this place; it just that there was no harm holding a conversation with this brat. Now that Edo Terminal was severely destroyed, Kamui doubted there would be plenty of chances for him to escape this planet.

Knowing that he had all the time in the world, he decided that this girl should entertain him more.

"For a princess, you certainly do not take care of your hands," he took note on the fresh wounds on her palms. "Ah. Was it from that time? When you were trying to release those Yoshiwara women?"

Soyo did not answer, and as opposed to Kamui's unfaltering gaze, she kept herself looking at any direction aside from him.

Kamui laughed good-heartedly. "Make up your mind, will you?" he repeated the comment.

"…What do you mean?"

"We can only have one role in this life," Kamui mused. "What about yours? Are you the noble-hearted princess who wishes to save her people? Or is that only a mask to hide the monster that you actually are?"

It was at that comment that she directed her gaze back at him. Baffled at his comment, Soyo frowned and clarified. "I'm not a monster," she sternly said; her tone made it clear that she considered it an insult.

"Hmm?" Kamui mumbled nonchalantly as he slowly rocked his body forward and backward, eyes looking up as he tried to dig something in his memory. "But you have that smell."

The remark was even more out of place. "What … smell?" Soyo asked –morbid that she was talking about her scent with a boy that was not the slightest close with her. If this was not inappropriate, she did not know what was.

"It's faint, very faint. And not supported by any actual demonstration of strength, unlike that policeman, but… you have the same smell as I do. The scent of a monster."

"…Don't group me in the same category as you."

"Oh, no-no. Wouldn't do that. And that's not what I implied. Me and you in the same category? That would be an insult to me, wouldn't it?"

"Funny. Because I'm the one feeling insulted."

Scratching his head and laughing it off, Kamui corrected himself. "I must have been mistaken. Of course, there's no way a boring thing like you would have that interesting figure within."

Kamui quieted down after that. He looked down at his wrapped torso; trying to judge how long would it take for him to properly heal. Not that this wound would stop him from doing anything he wished, but then again, there was no harm in resting. He shifted himself to a more comfortable position, closed his eyes and was about to take a quick nap, when the silence was broken.

"We have it all inside."

He lazily flicked an eye open and saw that it was the girl speaking. "What do we all have inside?" he echoed her statement.

"Monster," Soyo stated simply. "Every human must have had it. So it's impossible if you're asking me to pick just one role."

Both his eyes were open now. While Kamui did not normally enjoy this kind of conversation, and while this was not a new notion that he just heard ( _of course_ he knew that principle by heart), the fact that the statement came from a meek girl who had probably been guarded and treasured 24/7 made the conversation slightly more interesting. "Is that so?" he tested.

"…I don't believe in a black or white categorization when it comes to people," she slowly stated. "The kindest man has a black soul within and the same thing applies to the cruelest man."

"Hoo," Kamui nodded his head as if he had just taken a lecture that he finally found educative. "If that's the case, could it be that you believe there's something nice about me?" Kamui asked, rebutting her theory. With a hand pointed to himself and a cheeky smile that was forever youthful, he challenged her. "Do you _actually_ believe so? Because even I myself don't."

Soyo stared at him, objectifying the person that defied all ratio and logic. It would be hard to judge this on a subjective level, but objectively speaking…

"You hold firm to your value," she began, and Kamui blinked –not suspecting that she would actually even attempt of answering his challenge. "And while it might seem like you're just an ignorant simple-minded rebel, I think you actually respect people. Even those weaker than you. You're…" Soyo paused, trying to find the word. "In a way you're just someone… dedicated. When you set your eyes on something, you'd go all the way for that. It just goes wrong in your case because in the process, you don't mind tossing peoples' lives. This is where I'd have to draw the line."

Soyo lifted her chin so she could see him again. His clear blue eyes were focused on her, and gone was his innocent grin. There was something indescribable about the way he was looking at her, and Soyo knew that she probably was putting her neck on the platter again. "You don't like to hear what I thought about you?"

Kamui blinked as if he did not expect her to say that. "No, it's not that. Not necessarily so, it's just…" he huffed a sigh, frowning the slightest. "It's just a bit surprising, I guess."

Kamui stared at her with that kind of gaze that made Soyo felt like she had to turn her face away. There was something rather intense in his seemingly calm gaze. Something that burned, something that ached. She did not know why, but eventually, Soyo cleared her throat in discomfort. Kamui snapped, as if he did not realize he had been staring at her a little longer than necessary.

"Alright then. Shall we make a move?" he changed the subject, standing up in the process.

Soyo saw him looking up at the rocky ruins and she hastily tried to stand herself up (her muscles were still protesting, but she had had it worse). If he intended to blow this place now, _he_ might be saved, but _she_ probably would not. "Wait, don't –" her stammer was not finished because he threw her his umbrella.

"Open that up."

"But –"

"And stand beside me."

When Soyo stood rooted on her spot instead, Kamui exhaled a tired sigh and pulled her by his side instead. He grinned when she gasped, and without feeling the need to wait up anymore, he launched his fist upward. The rocks fell onto them and Soyo opened the umbrella as fast as she could.

Soyo closed her eyes and drew her elbows in, trying to get herself covered under his umbrella. Rocks and ruins fell around her, around them, but it was not long until she felt the palest scorch of moonbeam basking them in that hole.

Kamui released his grip around her body and readied himself. Before Soyo could realize it herself, he had jumped out of the hole up to the surface. The strands of orange hair standing on the middle of his head swayed when he realized that he had forgotten to take her with him. Casting an apologetic grin to her down below, Kamui shrugged and told her, "It's not that high. You should be able to climb up yourself, shouldn't you? Besides," Kamui glanced behind his shoulders. "There's something I have to take care here."

Indeed there was –for the Hitotsubashi's reinforcements had come and had him mercilessly surrounded. Exhaling a sigh, Kamui readied himself for the upcoming attack.

Baffled to the extent of silence, Soyo could only watch glimpses and shadows. But even when she was down there, she could know for sure that a massacre was taking place up where Kamui was.

It was dozens of soldiers against one, but Soyo knew who had the upper hand.

Bodies and more bodies were thrown to the hole and Soyo shrieked at the sight of the defeated Hitotsubashi soldiers –which came raining down. She tried to evade each of the falling body, but it got harder because Kamui threw more and more inside as easy as he was throwing confetti.

It was less than five minutes when everything around her became a complete silence again.

Kamui bobbed his head to look down at her at the bottom of the hole. "You can get out now. Those bodies are enough for stepping stones, eh?"

Dreadfully looking at the demon, Soyo said nothing but she gaped her mouth open at him.

"And, ah," Kamui noted as he diverted his attention from the hole to something else beside him. Soyo could not see well because it seemed that Kamui was bending down to pick something. "Jiraia gave a good fight and I like him. Too bad he's gone, but don't worry. I guess I can take care of this woman he has wanted to protect."

Soyo did not know who Jiraia was, but she would recognize the girl that was now slumped over Kamui's shoulders.

"Tsukuyo!" Soyo shouted at the still unconscious girl. "Don't you dare –"

"Weren't you listening?" Kamui cut, tilting his head to the other side in the mildest annoyance. "I am indebted to a person who wants this girl's safety. The least I can do is to bring her to a safe place. She's in my care, so you don't need to worry. So, see you later brat! It was quite fun talking to you!" he cheerfully acclaimed as he adjusted Tsukuyo's weigh on his back.

"Wait! You can't –"

Kamui truly did everything in a spur of moment. Before Soyo could even finish her sentence, the sight of his braided orange hair disappeared.

It took the roaring siren to wake Soyo from her trance and force her to climb out the hole herself, stepping on the dead bodies as she made a climb to save her own self.

* * *

 **To be Continued**

* * *

 **Guest:** Thank you for dropping a review! Hope you'll still be willing to read this story ^^, and urghh, I know this sounds weird, but I feel like I can love you too hehe

 **NuramagoFan:** I'm glad if this can suit your taste, although personally, I still am struggling to keep the characterization in check. There are parts which I think may be rather IC, but most others still need a lot of improvements. But anyway, I shall try my best. Thank you!

 **BloodyCamellia** : Hahahhaha, well, maybe a general warning, I do have a thing for cliff hanger, so maybe I'd have some in the later chapters, maybe, hehe. Thanks for reviewing!

This time, I'd also like to extend my gratitude to **Momo-san** (late-nightlove at Tumblr) for recommending this fanfic at her tumblr blog. So surprised because I thoroughly always enjoy her very own Kamusoyo fics. This is probably unnecessary since I'm quite sure anyone who decides to give Kamusoyo a chance and read this fic have already read hers first, but just in case you haven't, go read Momo's fanfics, like, you need to.

Aaaannnd...next week is the beginning of Shogun Assassination Arc, eh? Now that it's inching closer, I actually wish that it gets delayed, because I don't want the briefest fun of having the only Kamusoyo interaction comes and ends that quickly… (though at the same time, I can't wait, but…but…argh, I don't know). Anyway, let's pray the Animation Team will do a great job with the arc.


	8. Rain Talks

**What Pumps the Blood (Faster)**

 _ **Chapter 8 – Rain Talks**_

* * *

The incident with Yoshiwara had left the underground town deserted again. Upon Hinowa's decision, it was made clear that Yoshiwara was not to be occupied –well, not that its current state could support the town's population anyway. On the night Yoshiwara was attacked, the Hitotsubashi faction had managed to burn most of the houses and buildings –the legacy that Housen had spent his life building was now no more.

Despite so, Soyo knew she would find her there.

"There won't be much that you can find here," Soyo softly remarked to the older girl.

Tsukuyo stood firm on the hill overseeing Yoshiwara, and she gazed down at her hometown –or the remains of it. She shrugged, but a soft smile was still painted on her face. Heaving a sigh, the blonde haired girl then spoke, "I might be more sentimental than I thought. This has been my home for my whole life, and it just seems impossible to make my body forget the fact."

Soyo could relate to that. She recalled the times when she had unconsciously walked back to Edo Palace a couple of weeks after her brother's death; still not fully realizing that it had not been her home any longer. It was a bitter memory, but at the end of the day, one had to move on. As such, Soyo questioned Tsukuyo further, "What are you going to do now?"

"Nothing will change. The incident with Yoshiwara makes me realize even more how we have to overthrow the government faster," she stated with a sigh. "We have plenty of resources. Yoshiwara will always assist the rebellion. And I know the Shinsengumi, the Mimawarigumi, and the Joi Patriots will no doubt help each other to win Edo over again, but…" she shook her head. "Can't you believe that it's been five years, and here we are? Still living like corpses in the country we can only hope is truly ours?"

"…"

"If only Gintoki –" Tsukuyo stopped herself before she could say the next word. "No. I'm sorry. I promised myself not to think about him anymore –not when we still have a battle to fight, but –"

How a person mattered to another, Soyo understood well. Tsukuyo might have been surrounded by loyal friends even before she met Sakata Gintoki. But there was always one existence that, no matter how hard the others tried to fill, would not be filled. For Soyo, her brother had been that person for her. Soyo remembered that she had been too young to cry for her parents' death, but her brother –even when she shed little to no tears during the funeral – was someone whose existence mattered the most to her.

But it was not her turn to collect sympathy. Not only Gintoki, Tsukuyo just lost her teacher, her mentor as well. Soyo did not want to remember the dreaded look on Tsukuyo's face when Soyo told her how Jiraia was the one who saved her life at the cost of his own. The guilt on Tsukuyo's eyes had been infectious. Soyo decided that next time, she was to be more careful with her words. Maybe white lies would have worked better.

"Shinpachi-san insisted that you stay at Yorozuya," Soyo passed the message for which reason she was looking for Tsukuyo. "Or do you want to follow Hinowa-san to Nara tonight?"

"I swore to devote my life to Hinowa," Tsukuyo replied and decided not to say the other reason –that seeing Yorozuya building, which would always carry _his_ presence somehow, still ached her. Heaving another sigh, Tsukuyo turned to Soyo and assured her, "But surely we'll meet again. In Edo. With you as the only royalty I would acknowledge."

Soyo smiled and reached out to hold Tsukuyo's hand. The blonde-haired girl did not hold the hand back, but Soyo remained there when Tsukuyo finally cried.

* * *

"You look like a teenage boy too embarrassed to return home after he declares he wants to live on his own," Abuto said tonelessly when he finally found his captain on the street, in a city away from Kabuki-cho, but in Edo, still.

Kamui looked up at the taller man and grinned. "No need for an analogy. That's exactly what it is."

Abuto decided that Shinpachi could wait for the groceries that he requested (Abuto did not mind following up Shinpachi's orders, because while he was quite a picky eater, Shinpachi's cooking surprisingly met his taste. And it was only courteous that he volunteered to do the groceries shopping in return of the free meals and accommodation). Taking a step to stand beside his captain under an abandoned shop's outer canopy, Abuto remarked further, "Did you miss your old home, back then when you first ran away?"

Years prior, this issue would have awarded Abuto at least a broken arm, but ever since _that_ incident, Kamui actually was more open on talks about his childhood.

"That one not," the young man replied honestly. "The only thing I won't miss. At least there are good foods at Yorozuya. There's barely any in that old shack."

"Then why don't you come back to Yorozuya? You won't be able to leave Earth for a while anyway. And the little miss needs help with –"

"Abuto," Kamui called out the name, stopping the trains of words. With a grin that meant nothing, Kamui curiously asked him, "Aren't you getting too comfortable here? Look at you, actually doing domestic chores for a mundane life."

"Well," Abuto shrugged. "Here is not necessarily bad, you know."

"Hmm? But it's not home."

Home to Kamui, Abuto knew, was battlefield. The cold place where the bloods rained harder than anything else. But the place was there no more. For the past few years since Kagura joined them –the last remains of the Yato Clan –they had traveled from planets to planets, galaxies to galaxies. Kagura might have genuinely wanted to carry out her father's legacy of defeating evil aliens, but Kamui was, at the end of the day, always on a search of a home.

Eventually, Abuto realized it. There was no longer battlefield worth calling home. Monstrous aliens might have been plenty, but nothing was nearly as strong as Kamui. Abuto realized that they, the Yato, were losing their standing.

And Abuto adapted. He had no other choice but to. Well, those night talks with Kagura helped, but Abuto realized that it was the situation that forced him to understand. To eventually admit that there was no place for Yato anymore in the universe, and if he wanted to live on, he just had to adjust himself.

Kamui did not understand that.

Abuto had a lot of things to say about his captain: troublesome and respectable, but lately (though he would never say it out loud), Abuto thought that his captain was pitiful.

"You've got what you wanted right?" Abuto reminded the younger man. "You want to be the universe's strongest. Your father is dead, and all those interesting samurais are nowhere to be seen. This is what you earn, so…" Abuto sighed. "Why not try settling down?"

"As in getting married and having kids?" Kamui questioned back innocently.

"No," Abuto grumbled –finding it hard to connect the picture of that kind of settling down for Kamui. "As in accepting that things are different now and that you should be grateful you still have a place and family to go back to. That kind of settling down."

Kamui glanced at Abuto blankly, and that was when Abuto realized it.

Even if Kamui wanted to, he couldn't.

Exhaling a sigh, Abuto announced, "Anyway, you shouldn't leave your little sister that way. She'd still accept you. But if you still don't want to come back, well…" Abuto scratched his head. "We'll be around."

Kamui laughed. For what, Abuto did not understand.

Looking up at the darkening sky, Abuto reminded himself that Shinpachi would need the groceries soon to make a proper dinner. Abuto turned around and told his captain, "Well. I'll be off, but you know where to find me. And it looks like it's going to rain soon, better get your umbrella ready."

* * *

It was already raining by the time Soyo climbed up to the surface of Yoshiwara.

Tsukuyo decided to stay a little longer in Yoshiwara before her departure to Nara later the night, so Soyo had left her behind. Gazing up at the big drops of water falling from the late afternoon sky, Soyo opened her umbrella up.

Well, it was technically not _her_ umbrella. The actual owner of the umbrella never returned to Yorozuya after he gave her the umbrella that night at Edo Terminal (though factually speaking, Kamui was actually only lending her his umbrella for a while, and he probably just forgot to collect it back). It astonished Soyo how casual she was carrying the very same object that had been used in her attempted killing five years prior (which was, to her surprise, much lighter than she thought it would). But this was the only umbrella that had been available at Yorozuya before she took her leave earlier. Besides, Kagura said that she could take it as a protecting weapon instead.

Soyo walked through the rain with the Yato umbrella covering her. She took note that people were actually giving her way. Well, she thought that this was one of the perks. Hidden underneath the over-sized umbrella, people seemed to think of her as someone from the Yato clan –thus granting her the paranoia that she actually needed now (at least those government officials would think twice for challenging someone they thought a Yato).

As the first place, the unexpected July rain had made the streets deserted anyway. It made the remains of people on the street rather noticeable, including her.

And him.

Her heart skipped a beat at the sight. The ginger-haired man was standing alone underneath the shield of an abandoned shop's canopy in the mostly-deserted Yoshiwara area. Soyo thought of turning way immediately, but the man had noticed her first.

Lifting his face up and having an always-innocent grin plastered on his face, Kamui noted, "Well, well. If it isn't my umbrella and the little thief who ran away with it?"

* * *

Running into him had been on the bottom of her list, but actually sharing the umbrella with him was even out of it.

Kamui had jumped off the shield of the shop's canopy to the underneath oh her (his) umbrella. Soyo had fidgeted and widened her eyes, but was unable to take a step away from the umbrella's cover either. It was like a feeling –that if she decided to run, she would die before she could take the second step. Soyo _still_ should have run, but she did not. Her grip around the umbrella's handle was tight, and when he walked ahead, she instinctively followed him by his side.

Soyo maintained the distance though.

"Aren't you getting wet that way?" Kamui noted a little too late –the left side of her kimono was drenched already.

She should have run, she should have run...

"W-won't it be awkward to be too close to you?" she answered back.

He raised an eyebrow at the reply. "Isn't it already weird that we're sharing an umbrella in the first place?"

It was. Indeed it was. But she still did not run away, and he had not shooed her away.

"I could kill you, you know?" Kamui reminded.

"…But you have not."

"Yeah, but I still could."

The warning did not sound like a warning, when it was spoken that way: lighthearted and idle. Soyo knew that this idle side of him was what she should have been cautious of the most, but she still stayed beside him. She must have been crazy.

He seemed to think that she was, as well. "You don't believe that I can kill you?"

Soyo looked up at him and noted that Kamui kept his gaze straight ahead. "Is that supposed to be a rhetorical question? We both know the answer. Of course you can kill me, but you don't want to do it now."

He chuckled. "What makes you so sure?"

She was not, but this conversation was flowing to a direction that she could not predict and there was something rather… acceptable about it. "I don't feel that kind of killing intention from you."

Kamui shrugged. "And since when _you,_ someone who's never fought in an actual battlefield, can tell whether someone is having a killing intention or not?"

"Because I know how it felt when you seriously wanted to kill me. Five years ago. A couple of weeks ago. That night in the Edo Terminal," Soyo shrugged equally. "I experienced it all first hand," her statement was rather curt –perhaps Soyo was quite prepared to die.

"And why are you still not running away now?" Kamui asked again.

Soyo sighed. Now that she thought about it, Kamui asked a lot of questions. Most of which were asked only to challenge her than actual curiosity, she knew. She did not know why he felt the need to challenge her, though. But all these random talks only affirmed her belief that Kamui did not seriously want to kill her –at least not for the time being. Soyo noticed that he was staring at her from the corner of his eyes, and she remembered that she still owed him a courtesy response.

"I don't know. Because it's still raining? Because I can't just run away on Edo street without cover? It's not that I'm not afraid of you, because I do," Soyo ascertained. Kamui gave her a puzzled look that seemed to silently question the contradiction between her words and her action. "But you don't have a reason to kill me now."

"I'm a fickle person, you know?" he continued with this conversation that neither knew where it was going.

Perhaps they were only testing each other out –to know to what extent one could test the other.

 _What a dangerous game_ , Soyo thought sourly. She did not know she was quite a daredevil.

"I don't think you're that fickle," she said in response to his statement. "You are unpredictable, correct. But not fickle. You know what you want, and you do what you want. And you don't want to kill me now because as weird this conversation is, we both are enjoying it."

It was at that statement that Kamui blinked, and burst out laughing at the next second.

"I guess you're right," he admitted with a grin. "I do like talking to you. And I think you're the unpredictable one. I wouldn't have thought that you actually enjoy our conversation."

Soyo did not even realize that the corner of her lip was tugged into the smallest smile of acknowledgement.

The rain fell harder around them, but aside from the previous wetness of the left side of her kimono, rain did not fell onto her left shoulders anymore. Hmm. Soyo did not remember at which point she had actually inched closer to the center of the umbrella.

"Where are we going anyway?" Kamui asked.

Soyo thought that Kamui was not supposed to ask that. If anything, it was his umbrella and from any angle, he was the one with the upper hand, and it should have been him to decide on where he wanted to go. The fact that he was actually walking with her with the intention of accompanying her to wherever her destination was, seemed out of place.

But since he asked her the question, she was obliged to tell. "…I'm heading back to Yorozuya."

"So you're staying at Yorozuya now?"

"So long you're not there, yes."

Kamui snickered good-naturedly. "Say hi to my sister then."

It would be a shame to break this line of idle conversation she could unknowingly share with him, but Soyo thought that she had to ask him eventually. "… Why are you two always on bad terms?"

"Hmm? It's my sister who always thinks that way. I don't necessarily think that we are on bad terms. Siblings quarrel often, don't they?"

The face of her brother flashed in her mind for the briefest second and Soyo clenched her eyes shut. She did not want to be saddened at this point, and besides, she knew that this would probably her only chance to ask about Kamui and Kagura's past. Shifting her thought from her brother, Soyo asked again, "But there's still… something rather unusual about your relationship with her."

Kamui nodded but he did not give the answer right away. "Is that so?"

"It's like…" Soyo pondered. "In the first place, I don't understand why now you're the one following her around. Why you, of all people, would actually obey her."

"…Just a little promise."

"To her?"

"To my parents. On their graves."

From Kagura, Soyo knew that Kamui did not have the best relation with his parents either. It seemed rather unusual that he would make a promise to them and actually obey it in the first place.

Her confused look was not ignored. Turning his face to look at her, his cerulean eyes had that calm yet slightly challenging glint on it. "She hasn't told you, I presume."

"About?"

Kamui stopped, and Soyo mildly took note that they were already a couple of houses away from Yorozuya. Stopping her steps as well, she locked her gaze with his.

"That I was the one who killed our own father?"

If there was this chill running down Soyo's spine, it had nothing to do with the rain.

And it had everything to do with that casual shrug, that grin that always seemed to reach his eyes, that drastic reminder that no matter how civil he could present himself to be, Kamui was always a killer, born to be one and destined to remain as one.

In her silence, Kamui only handed the umbrella back to her. "I'll give it to you. I can have Abuto to get me another one," he said as he pushed his umbrella to her direction. Kamui then took a step back, into the rain, before he quickly leaped away and disappeared from her sight.

And Soyo stood rooted on the same spot, and would remain to be so, if it was not for Shinpachi calling for her.

* * *

 **To be Continued**


	9. Demon Child

**A/N:** Another two-chapter update again this week, so kindly go to Chapter 8 to where this story last left you.

* * *

 **What Pumps the Blood (Faster)**

 _ **Chapter 9 – Demon Child**_

* * *

If Soyo was curious about Kamui's words and what happened in the past between him, Kagura and Umibouzu, there was no way she could have asked it to the related persons anyway.

For the next following days, Soyo was occupied with the chaos that involved helping Hinowa arranging the migration of the Yoshiwara ladies to their respective destinations. Yoshiwara had been the only home for the majority of the ladies, but now, the town could barely sustain the population. Soyo tried to use her past connection to ensure that the women would have new place to stay. If Soyo had still been an official princess (as opposed to an ex. royalty on a wanted list), this whole issue would have been solved within less than a day. It was good that her brother had some loyal monk followers, who were not biased over politic preferences. With the help of the monks, they managed to split the Yoshiwara women into several groups that would be transferred to some temples.

And when Soyo was not busy assisting Yorozuya taking care of the Yoshiwara affairs, she would take turn with Otose, Kyuubei, Kagura, and Shinpachi guarding Shimura Tae, whose condition had gotten worse during the past few days as well.

It sometimes made her wonder how the White Plague chose its victims –but then again, there was no guessing of virus –or fate, at that. Gengai's invention on the cure of the White Plague had been revolutionary and effective, but while other patients had slowly recovered, Tae's body showed resistance to the cure. On good days, Tae would be able to walk down to the hospital's park by herself, but on certain times, she had been so weak that even lifting a finger seemed to be a strenuous job.

That night was one of the latter.

"…I should have come sooner," Soyo heard Kagura murmur to Shinpachi outside Tae's hospital room. Tae was sleeping and the two Yorozuya members were in a discussion outside the room, while Soyo took the turn to be inside Tae's room. Soyo could hear Kagura's voice from out of the door, "I was too… I mean, Anego needs help and –"

"There's nothing that you can do anyway," Shinpachi replied without any hint of sarcasm in his voice. It was helplessness; no matter how much stronger Shinpachi had become, his sister's illness was still something he could not control. "It's already a relief Aneue can still be alive for the past five years. Many victims of the White Plague couldn't even survive longer than three years after being infected."

"…please tell Kagura-chan never to blame herself," a weak voice came from Soyo's side.

"Nee-san," Soyo remarked at the apparently not sleeping girl. "You're awake? I'll get them both back in –"

Otae slowly motioned Soyo not to do it. "Both of them have been guarding me all night despite their schedules. Please allow them to rest."

Slowly returning back to her seat and making a silent promise to herself to cover Shinpachi and Kagura's shifts more, Soyo obliged to Otae's wish and held the older woman's hand. "They're as worried for you as you are worried for them. Shinpachi-san especially," she paused, feeling stupid for having to declare the obvious. "Well, of course he is."

"They must have been busy protecting Edo. Please don't let them bother themselves with me," Otae begged.

Soyo sighed. It would have been easier to handle a selfish Otae than an altruistic one. Soyo could show carelessness to the former, but never to the latter.

"…I heard that Gorilla was captured?" asked Otae.

Shinpachi had warned them all not to cause unnecessary stress to his sister; informing her about Kondo's capture included. Frowning, Soyo asked, "Who told you that?"

"Hijikata-san and Okita-san, before they leave to Kyoto. They dropped by. I'm glad they told me. I know that I can't be much of a help with my current condition but I think I have the right to know this. Was it Shin-chan who forbid you all from telling me?"

Glancing at the door and realizing that Kagura and Shinpachi were no longer outside the door, Soyo shrugged, "We were just worried."

"Shin-chan and Kagura-chan can be too overprotective sometimes," Tae commented with a small smile. But her gaze remained unfocused and she stared at the dull wall opposite her without any interest. It took her a while before she said, "I'm a bit tired. Do you mind if I sleep?"

"Of course not," Soyo said as she fixed Tae's blanket. "I'll be here until later tonight."

"You don't have to, but thank you."

The now white-haired woman slowly closed her eyes and Soyo held her breath upon examining whether or not Shimura Tae's chest moved up and down –deciding whether she was still breathing in her sleep.

Someone in the past lied to Soyo during his sleep.

Tae's chest indeed moved up and down, though very slow. But it was enough reassurance for Soyo to let go of her own breath.

* * *

Kyuubei ran a bit late from the appointed time for her shift. Not that Soyo particularly minded that, because she kind of liked this serenity in Otae's hospital room. Soyo loved Yorozuya and all the festivity that came in the package, really. But once in a while, even she was not as adventurous as her 14-year-old self had once been. She was only 20, but she felt like her soul aged faster than her own body.

Kyuubei profusely apologized for being late, and even got to the point where she promised to slit her stomach open. Soyo had originally intended to let Kyuubei do it (out of her usual twisted humor sense), but eventually stopped the older girl just before the tip of the blade tore her stomach. Having assured that Tae had someone else to watch over her, Soyo smiled widely at Kyuubei (who still looked terrorized) and finally left the hospital to head back to Yorozuya.

It was raining again outside. Soyo sighed because that day, upon a very promising bright morning, she had left the umbrella Kamui gave her back at Yorozuya.

But a Yato was always prepared with an umbrella –and now he was waiting for her outside the hospital.

"Am I not the Yato you're waiting for?" Abuto remarked as the ex. princess made tiny steps to get herself under his umbrella.

"Kagura's umbrella is a bit too small for two persons anyway," Soyo pointed out.

Abuto cast a glance to the girl beside him and muttered a secretive chuckle to himself.

If Soyo did not remind herself of all the nearly impossible deeds that the Yorozuya had successfully done in the past, Soyo would find it miraculous that Kagura was able to ask Abuto to do things at her will. Soyo still recalled the story Kagura told her in the past, in the first incident at the Yoshiwara where she first met her brother again along with his crews. Soyo recalled Kagura telling about 'this certain uncle' who tried to kill her and Shinpachi, and who, in the course of event, turned out to be one of the main witnesses of the monster Kagura had in her.

And that same person was now following kids who were much younger than him, obediently at that.

"I like the rain," Abuto said out of the blue. "When the little miss asked me to pick you up, I didn't think of it as a hassle," he elaborated more, as if he was able to read out what was on Soyo's mind.

It was Soyo's turn to snicker. "I think they respect and care about you."

"Which one? Nevermind. Both are equally troublesome," Abuto said with a shrug.

Soyo smiled to herself and wondered if she made a comment on how considerate Abuto really was, would he make similar denial? It was not as if she did not notice how Abuto had considerately adjusted his usually much longer steps to her pace, so that Soyo wouldn't need to have a little run in her layered kimono get-up.

But the mentioning of the two siblings reminded Soyo of the question that she had been wanting to ask to Kagura (but had been unable to, with all these things to do). "…Is it true," Soyo started cautiously. "That Kagura-chan's father, that their father, was killed by Kamui-san himself?"

"Yeah," Abuto confirmed a little too quickly.

Soyo took an inhale of breath –the rain scent filled her nose. "I knew Kagura-chan mentioned that when they were children, Kamui-san did _try_ to kill his father. But to actually kill him…"

Abuto stole a glance at Soyo from the corner of his eyes. Re-directing his gaze to the mass of falling water in front of him, he then shrugged. "Technically, Umibouzu's death was an accident on my Captain's side. But you won't like it even more if you learned whom his real target was."

"…Kagura-chan," Soyo correctly guessed; her eyes wee narrowing. She did not want to believe that there was a possibility her best friend could actually die. "Kamui-san tried to kill Kagura-chan, didn't he?"

Abuto nodded. "It was not a while ago. You knew the little miss left Earth to travel with her father. One day, we, the ex Harusame just encountered them, just little miss at first. Our captain had been more than thrilled upon knowing how much Kagura had gotten stronger," Abuto paused as he narrowed his eyes. "Captain really did intend to kill the little miss."

"But their father intervened," Soyo predicted.

Shrugging, Abuto continued. "That was… the first time I saw Captain that way. I think at the end of the day, and no matter what his claim about family's attachment was, it would…well affect anyone who crushed his father's heart with his very own hand."

Soyo was partially skeptical that Kamui could ever feel anything about killing his own father. But then she remembered the time when her uncle died. Back then, she had learned Sadasada's cruelty and vicious mind, and she had thought she would never regard him the same again. Yet still, when it was announced that his uncle killed himself (or was murdered, as her older self learned), a part of her still grieved upon the loss. Soyo supposed it was human to think that way.

...Although the fact that Kamui was a psycho was probably worth mentioning.

"Did that man ever even show any regret?" Soyo frowned, wondering how awful Kagura must have felt –to have her father died at her own brother's hand. "Family? He probably has never considered Kagura-chan and Umibouzu-san as his family."

"Well, to be fair, most Yato had a rather unusual way of family bonding. A long while ago, it wouldn't be groundbreaking to have a son kill his own father. What my Captain did used to be normal."

"Used to," Soyo stressed. She felt like it was rather out of place for her to worry about other clan's customs. The standard of her humanity (irrespective of how questionable her own standard was) was different from the Yato's standard of humanity –if there was one. Perhaps knowing Kagura for so long made Soyo forgot of the inherently cold-blooded the Yato clan was. Still... "...You wouldn't kill your own father, would you, Abuto-san?"

"I wouldn't know. My parents died before I was five," Abuto reasoned.

"...I'm sorry about that."

"Nah, don't be," Abuto shrugged it off. "Not sure if I actually regarded them as my parents actually."

Soyo narrowed her eyes. There again. This whole confusing human relationship with and between the Yato. Kagura, however, should be distinguished. The red-haired girl was not as...controversial as the rest of her clan, and her emotion was most likely more relatable. "I don't think I would know what to do if I were in Kagura-chan's place," Soyo added slowly. "How could she handle this? If I were her, I would probably have hated my brother, but… it's my brother and…" she shuddered. "I really wouldn't know what to do."

"Little miss will always be stronger than her brother," Abuto concluded. "Perhaps not physically, but on any other aspects, little miss… is truly stronger than anyone else. She wouldn't have done anything stupid like avenging her father. After all, our Captain is her only family now. No matter how much she is irritated at him, she would never allow herself to fall to the wrong path."

Under another circumstances, Soyo would have pointed out how amusing it was that even a murderer like Abuto would be able to talk in support of morality, but at the time being, Soyo was more concerned in Kagura. Yes, Kagura was strong indeed, but if there was anything that Soyo could, that Soyo should do for her –

"Little miss will be fine," assured Abuto when he noticed the silence the ebony-haired girl was emitting. "If anything, it is our Captain that is hopeless."

* * *

Soyo thought that Abuto couldn't have been more right about his own Captain.

Soyo did not recall the conversation she had with Abuto until few days after, when Soyo saw Kamui again. It was by chance, really. It was a very late afternoon, nearly two weeks since she last saw him. She was just taking a quick stroll to the vacant side of the riverside –having just handed her mail to the Shinsengumi via her trusted messenger –when she saw blood trails leading to the shadowy corner under the bridge.

Soyo would have ignored it (thug war happened everywhere in the chaotic Kabuki-cho), had it not for a piece of broken umbrella that was so similar it thumped her heart instantly.

It was not Abuto's (to her relief) nor Kagura's (to her utmost relief). As Soyo approached the underside of the bridge, she found out that the umbrella belonged to one of the Yatos who stayed at Yorozuya as well.

Soyo had never had much chance to interact with either of them (Soyo even did not know whether those two actually inhabited Yorozuya or not –with all their lack of presence and encounters), but she had seen their faces a couple of time.

Not that their faces were clearly recognizable at that point anyway.

She drew a hand to cover her mouth upon looking at one, two corpses –familiar Yato robes in place, but not enough blood to sustain their lives.

And sitting so casually on top of the two mounted corpses, was no other than the most dangerous of all Yato.

Soyo wished she had not seen any of these.

She wished she had a much more air-like presence –because she needed it; she would need it to run, to hide, to prevent herself from being noticed by the demon.

But the demon had noticed her.

"If it isn't the VIP brat!" Kamui acknowledged in a sing-song, happy voice.

Any wish that Soyo had for him not to notice her evaporated into the air. Even the chance that Soyo had to live her life normally soon faded as Kamui took a leap, enough to land right in front of her, blocking her exit, blocking her chance of surviving (hopefully not), with that same ever so cheerful smile.

 _If it isn't the murderer,_ Soyo thought –bitter that she was nearly accustomed to this kind of humor sense.

She knew that she had claimed she was able to feel it when he was having a killing desire or not. It had always been something rather inexplicable, like a sheer intuition.

Soyo was not sure of what he was intending to do to her today.

"I didn't see anything," she ended up saying –of all things and moments, trying to show her idiocy in front of him then and there.

"It's regardless of whether you see it or not," Kamui claimed, but still hung his intention in the air. What, regardless whether she saw him kill his own comrades or not, what? Kamui seemed interested to know what she had to say. It was as if he hung his words on purpose, to know her prediction, her claim: whether she would know it if he intended to kill her?

"… They know I'm only going out for a while," Soyo found herself whispering. "If I haven't returned, they'll –"

Kamui blinked. "You seriously think I'd be afraid of my sister? Or is it Abuto you meant?"

Kamui was right. Neither –not Kagura nor Abuto would be able to stop this monster when he had set his eyes onto something. Just look at his two loyal subordinates –died by his hand. Soyo could only hope that it had been a quick death; judging from the holes on the other two Yatos' respective chests. She had not had the chance to better interact with them, but it must have been regrettable to have their lives ripped off by someone they had sworn their allegiance to.

"…Are you satisfied now?" she asked back instead, a tint of disgust in her voice.

Tilting his head innocently, Kamui returned the query, "Satisfied?"

"How many lives must you take until you're satisfied?" Soyo hissed. "Is your father's blood not even enough?"

Soyo knew she read people well. She had not been, but after her brother's death (by one of his most trusted follower at that), she had unconsciously trained herself to see the layers beneath layers. Kamui, Soyo decided, was actually not someone who hid his intention –at least not now. If he was indifferent about something, then chances were, he really felt indifferent about it.

"I shouldn't have told you that, should I?" Kamui conveyed as he pursed his lips together; his eyes were wandering. "Now you're getting more annoying; linking things to this and to that. Satisfaction? You meant by killing these weaklings? You think I can get satisfied with that?"

"…They are your loyal subordinates," Soyo pointed out, not wanting to look back at the pitiful corpses.

Kamui chuckled as if that alone would not constitute a decent answer. "Brat. You…" he did not continue his words, not for a while, until he just exhaled a sigh on his own and turned his back at her. "Weak girl like you won't understand, will you?"

She wouldn't. She did not want to. She found it crazy enough to have herself involved with him; she wouldn't have wanted to extend her carelessness with a mere attempt to _understand_ him.

"Does that even matter?" betraying her own resolve to stay away from this, Soyo pursued. "Why would you need anyone to understand you anyway?"

"Don't twist my words," Kamui warned, turning around, and for the first time (even when she had been threatened by him numerous times before), Soyo felt a different kind of chill running down her spine.

It was not even the fear of her life. Kamui, no matter how many times he came as fucking close to killing her, always had that kind of air about him: idleness, curiosity, casualness, challenging, more often than not, simply a twisted playfulness of adding just another body to the endless list of victims he killed even at his young age.

But no, this time, what chilled her was not that kind of twisted boredom. What froze Soyo to her spot, eyes unable to look at anything else than those piercing deep cerulean eyes, was simply the rawest, actual emotion she had never seen coming from him before.

Anger.

"Why would I ever need anyone, need _you_ to understand?" he hissed. "No matter how many bodies I've slayed, no matter how many bloods I've shed, no matter how many battles I've faced, nothing, _nothing_ ever comes close in quenching my thirst."

She took a step back, and he, just like their first encounter in five years, only took a step forward.

"No real opponent is able to thrill me. All the strong ones have either died or gone. No matter how many years I've spent venturing the galaxy, nothing," Kamui gritted his teeth. " _Nothing_."

Her eyes twitched –unable to understand a bit of his logic. Unsympathetically, Soyo retorted, "And you seriously thought you'd find _anything_ out of this?" Snorting at his line of thinking and reasoning, she raised her tone and snapped at him. "You don't even have the right to feel like you're the victim here. You feel it's boring because you have no strong opponents? Are you fucking kidding me?!" she yelled at him. "How selfish. Is that the only thing you can think of? What about the families of those you murdered?! What about the future they could have?! _They_ are the one who have nothing, and you don't have the slightest right to complain about having nothing!"

Soyo was almost sure it would be either her head severed, or her heart pierced, or her brain crushed –or any other physical damage that would send her to meet her brother in an instance.

Kamui did not move an inch.

Heaving out a sigh, Kamui then closed his eyes. When he opened them again, well...it must have been the weird light the setting sun cast that was reflected on his eyes. The intensity of his gaze was gone, replaced by the most vacant gaze she had ever seen him have.

It didn't suit him, she supposed. Even Soyo felt ultimately uncomfortable upon looking at him –a different kind of discomfort. She couldn't quite place it, but she found herself breaking the eye contact.

"Would you be able to tell me how to live then?" Kamui asked softly, a bit hesitantly –like a child who simply did not know what he was doing wrong.

But Soyo was not deterred.

There was simply no justification.

"...Perhaps you simply shouldn't," she replied icily.

When Kamui did not answer, not for a long while, Soyo braved herself to walk pass him. The faintest sunrays told her that she had walked out of the underside of the bridge. Letting go the breath she did not know she had been holding, Soyo then ran as fast as she could. She felt like she needed to run, even when she knew he was not chasing after all. She felt she needed to run, because perhaps that would be the only way she would be able to get rid of this discomfort, unease, agitation, and twitch in her heart.

It was only after a long run that she dared to look back.

Kamui still did not move an inch from his standing spot.

Assuring herself that Kamui was not and never to be her concern, Soyo forced herself to run farther, further, before he could ever grip that sanity of hers that he unknowingly had begun to collect within his grasp.

* * *

 **To be Continued**

* * *

 **A/n:**

 **BloodyCamelia** : Thanks for reviewing again! Last week's Gintama episode was so good, I mean, we all know what it would be like, but still to see it being animated is just pure bliss... And this week we'll have full Okita vs Kamui fight –like probably my (and pretty sure, a lot of other fans') favorite fight throughout the manga. And I'll get to see most likely the only animated version of Kamusoyo, so...I'm going to treasure next episode a lot. Probably after that I'll stop watching Shogun Assassination Arc anime, until it's fully animated, and after that I'll have a fun marathon viewing. Ah, sorry, I rambled a lot to you. But again, thanks a lot for reviewing!

To the others (whoever still read this fic anyway): Sorry if I drag this story too long and include too many non-romance subplots. Kamusoyo's romance is just a delicate issue, and I really don't want to rush it. You might note already that this won't be an entire romance fic, but I guess... in about 2-3 chapters, we'll get to that part?


	10. Battle Bound

**What Pumps the Blood (Faster)**

 _ **Chapter 10 – Battle Bound**_

* * *

 _Kamui's mother had been unable to smile._

 _She had forced herself to smile. The things she would have done for her dear children: dry lips that cracked when she pulled them, a flex of muscle so weak that it barely could hold on, a shine that never reached her eyes._

 _Kamui did not remember much, couldn't, even if he wanted to. He did not know why there were so many things he thought he remembered about his mother, but at the same time, the picture was never complete; only fragments, always fragments. He did remember the other details sometimes: the way he stared at the plate filled with uneaten porridge (just how much did the family try to save for that small bowl of porridge? The mother was the priority, but she would always vomit whenever nutritious (or not so nutritious) substances entered her mouth), the cry of the crybaby (and when their father was off to God-Knew-Where, and their mother was laying sick for too long, guess who had to take care of the brat?), the same piece of rag he used over and over again to wash off the blood from his fights (he only got one; and now it was already marred with too many drying blood)._

" _Kamui."_

 _But he remembered her voice._

 _He hurried his steps to her. Kagura was asleep, and Umibouzu was never home as usual. His mother was able to sit on the bed –which was miraculous any other day._

" _Mother!" Kamui scolded with small voice that had not morphed into that of a man. "You should lay down! Why are you –"_

" _Sit next to me," she said. Her smile was a bit worn out, but it was the actual smile he had seen from her in a long time. "Let me braid your hair. Look, it's tangled and messy now."_

 _His attempt to refuse was pushed back at the sight of his mother's expectant look. Wordlessly and as carefully as he could, Kamui sat on the bed next to her. Her fingers came to undone his braid in the slowest manner. He felt the discomfort most of the times when she was combing his bright orange hair with her fingers. He was so afraid her fingers would break that the entire process was not comfortable the slightest._

" _Did you get into a fight again?"_

" _No," he answered a little too quick. Kamui would learn in the future that one simply didn't lie that way._

 _His mother gave the barest hint of a chuckle. "Alright. I'd believe you."_

 _Her fingers weaved themselves between the tangles._

" _Did your father leave again?"_

" _No," Kamui replied, another lie. "He just goes to the mini mart for a while. He ran out of shampoo."_

 _The fingers that were braiding his hand trembled slightly. Kamui panicked. He knew he should have lied better than that. "I-it's true! He d-doesn't leave to hunt aliens. He just goes for a while and h-he'd be back even before you finish –"_

" _Kamui," his mother interrupted, and he wished she had not. Let him finish his lies, let him finish reassuring her. Why would she interrupt him?_

 _But she did not interrupt him only with words. There was also a simple hug that must have ached her entire bones._

 _He knew this, and so he protested. "Mother! Don't –"_

"… _How small," she whispered to his thin figure. "And why would this small shoulders bear this much?"_

 _There was a lump on his throat. There was an urge to spill but he knew he never could –never to his mother. The poverty that never left them; the loneliness and frustration; the whole madness that never ceased to end._

" _I'm strong," he ended up saying. "So you really don't have to worry about me."_

 _His mother did not have anything to say to that. But her whimpers soon turned to coughs. And he swiftly turned around and faced her mother –whose face he never could remember – and –_

" _Mother! Mother, hold on! Mother –"_

.

.

"'I'm not your mother."

Kamui opened his eyes in alert. He was still lying on the porch of the abandoned Japanese-styled household that had been his staying place during his visit to earth (which, by sheer joke, turned out to be the old Shinsengumi's headquarter). It took him slightly longer to adjust to the situations: to the unlikely rain of August, to the stoic face that his loyal follower gave upon looking down at him from his standing position.

"Abuto," Kamui acknowledged, slowly getting himself to sit up on the porch. He brushed the sleep of his eyes and, upon stretching his limbs, put on a cheerful face for the older man. "You come to bring me breakfast?"

Deciding to be the wiser and refraining himself for making a comment on his captain's sleep talks, Abuto sat down next to him and handed him a plastic bag full of rice balls he bought at the nearest convenience store. "You'd have more at the Yorozuya if you're willing to return," Abuto relentlessly reminded. He paused for a while before adding, "Sina and Hachi's portions would be yours."

"Hmm," Kamui mumbled incoherently at the mention of the names of his deceased two underlings; his mouth was too full of rice balls to formulate a more articulate response.

"They haven't returned to Yorozuya for more than three days," Abuto informed him.

Kamui swallowed and took a sip of the tea Abuto also brought him. "They wouldn't."

Abuto caught things up quickly. "Did you kill them?"

"Mm-hm," Kamui confirmed as he tore the wrapping of the third rice ball.

Abuto sighed. "Captain… I wouldn't have complained you going on a killing spree, but at the least, spare our fellow clansmen. There's not many of us left and," Abuto stopped himself. Staring at the still eating captain, Abuto slowly corrected his stance and asked instead, "Don't tell me… they attacked you first?"

Now that Abuto thought about it, Sina and Hachi had all the motives to do that. The Yato's instincts to fight the strongest opponent was something out of the question, and combined with the fact that the two had been two of the most rebellious, and ones who were most dissatisfied with their captain's decision to go back to the defenseless earth.

Kamui only shrugged. "I'm more disappointed with the fact that did not have the right to call themselves a Yato. So weak. It was over within seconds. We should have better screening for people who wish to join the Seventh Division."

"The Seventh Division no longer exists."

"Right. Any name will do. What I meant were people who would join us for…" Kamui trailed.

"For what?" Abuto questioned back when his captain remained silenced. Not that Abuto expected any answer from it. There was no purpose of forming any group or crime syndicate. It was not as if Kamui and him joined the Harusame years ago for the purpose of actually doing villainous things. Despite the inevitable villainous deeds that they had to do for the space pirate organization, most Yato joined just for the vast fighting opportunity.

And that opportunity no longer existed.

Abuto sighed again. He was not concerned about himself. It would not come out loud from his mouth, but a part of Abuto knew that he was able to adjust to his current life just fine. Perhaps because he was getting older, perhaps because he was simply getting dull, but he thought the time he spent with Kagura had made him see things the way the little miss did. Not that he would completely take her side; helping people and fighting for justice were just not his thing. But in the end, even Abuto felt that with his aging muscles, there would eventually come the time where his Yato's blood be tamed.

Kamui's blood never would.

"Things change, Captain," Abuto reminded –not that he would need to; the situation alone was like a megaphone loud reminder to them all. "You might not like it, but this is where we live now and –"

"This is not my place," Kamui interrupted. "This is not where I belong."

"But the battlefield where you thought you belong to is no longer there," Abuto pointed out one last time before he stood up and glanced down at his Captain. Knocking this understanding to his stubborn Captain would take forever, really. "Anyway. I'm here just to drop that. You really should mend things up with your sister. I'm not going to act as a food delivery man for eternity."

* * *

"What are you doing?" Kagura asked Soyo as the latter had chosen a secluded corner in Yorozuya, reading what seemed to be a letter she just received from her messenger.

Soyo looked up at Kagura and gave her a smile. "Reading," she stated the obvious. When Kagura made up a face, Soyo chuckled and elaborated more. "It's a letter from Okita-san."

If Kagura was interested, she hid it well. If Soyo knew that Kagura was silently interested, Soyo hid it even better.

"Oh," was Kagura's only response eventually.

Soyo decided to test how long Kagura could hold her curiosity. It lasted only until the fifth count.

"W-what's it about?" the bright-haired girl asked as she threw a gaze outside the window.

Soyo secretly smiled to herself, but in front of Kagura, she put up an innocent, dense look. "Oh, a lot of things. Okita-san and I have been exchanging letters for a long while, ever since you left. He's such a funny person and his letters are always amusing," Soyo said slowly, enjoying the fidgets that Kagura thought she could hide.

"You're…close with him, aren't you?"

Pushing the urge to smirk triumphantly to the back of her mind, Soyo only nodded and casually replied. "Well, we have a lot of things in common. It's natural for the both of us to bond up, isn't it?"

Kagura now looked as if she was actually giving effort to hide her curiosity (and dare Soyo said, a bit of jealousy). The Yato girl's next comment was not as poised as her newfound tsundere-self had been trying to show. "You don't have anything similar with that bastard, Soyo-chan, don't degrade yourself."

"Well…" Soyo hung her sentence in the air. She was about to coax Kagura to show more evidence of what Soyo had seen ever since five years ago, but she found that she shouldn't have been that cruel to her best friend. Kagura might have looked much more like a grown up now, but in _that_ department, Kagura definitely still needed a lot of helping.

Shinpachi came to Kagura's rescue. He asked something about the medicine Kagura was supposed to get for his sister and the girl was more than relieved to have a chance to escape the entirely uncomfortable situation.

Chuckling at Kagura's antics (and having a firmer resolution to play matchmake better next time), Soyo then returned her attention back to Okita Sougo's letter.

It was actually much shorter than his usual letters (which usually included a vivid description of how he tortured Hijikata on a daily basis). This time, there were only two lines reporting Okita's torment to Hijikata. The rest was a report on their plans to overthrow the Hitotsubashi faction (written in codes –Soyo learned to read these codes since she secretly joined the anti-government faction after her brother's death), and a very brief paragraph about Kondo.

Okita told her the news his informant had: Kondo's execution date was already stipulated. A month from the date he wrote the letter –which would mean, the execution would happen in the next three weeks. They had no idea on where Kondo was confined but it was rumored that the execution would be carried out in Edo.

Soyo folded the letter and heaved a long sigh.

Another battle was to commence soon.

She tried to calculate their side's force. The remains of Shinsengumi would certainly be more than willing to fight this battle, and she trusted Hijikata was on top of his game in commanding his men. Katsura was last heard preparing up their new force in the northern side of Japan. Gathering Mimawarigumi would be a bit tougher –Nobume could certainly be counted, but the majority of the Mimawarigumi were actually only people loyal to those who hired them –and that would be the Hitotsubashi. Soyo was still unable to establish any contact with Zenzou and Sacchan, but she hoped that Tsukuyo would be able to help in that case. The ninjas were rumored to be around Nara, and Soyo had briefed Tsukuyo to find them should the situation permit, and –

"Frowning does not look good on a young lady."

Soyo relaxed the muscles of her forehead that she did not realize she had been contracting. She looked up to see that Abuto was standing by her side. Replacing her frown with an innocent smile, Soyo replied back, "You're lucky you said that to me. If you said that to any other girl on the street, they'd run thinking of you as a perverted geezer."

"That's a little harsh, young lady," chuckled Abuto in agreement.

Soyo smiled to the man –liking him more days by days. Abuto was like an older brother that she could confide herself to. It was still morbid that she could view him that way, considering that he was still one of the parties responsible for the chaos that happened in the space vessel five years prior. But there was something about Abuto that was trustworthy. Besides, if Kagura could trust him, then Soyo knew she could trust him too.

It took her a while to propose the idea that she had been thinking for the past few weeks.

"Abuto?"

"Hmm?"

Soyo exhaled a deep breath before she said it. "I'd still have to consult with Hijikata-san and Katsura-san about this, but I was thinking… you know…" she hesitated. "You know that there will be a war ensuing soon here, and I was thinking… if you'd," she paused for the last time before she mustered up her courage and said her request. "If you'd be willing to lend us a hand in this war."

Abuto examined the younger girl and Soyo suddenly wished that she had not said what she had said. But a part of her was still unwilling to retract the request, by sheer chance to see how it went.

In the end Abuto shrugged. "Battlefield is the natural call for us Yato. It really does not matter on whose side we're fighting."

Soyo sighed in relief. "Thank –"

"But I still have one captain to follow," Abuto reminded. "Our Harusame's Seventh Division might no longer be there, but I have sworn my loyalty to Kamui and him only. Only if he's agreed to do this would I do this too."

Soyo felt her heart shrank. She had been planning to request for Abuto's help for a while, but never it crossed her mind that she would need to ask for _that man_ 's help. Even if Kamui would probably be more than thrilled for an opportunity to shed some blood in battle, it was Soyo that would have the utmost reluctance about involving such monster in her, in _their_ long-fought war.

Abuto sensed the doubt in Soyo and he asked it. "I'm sure he'd be ecstatic to do it. You probably don't even have to ask him, and he'd still –"

"I don't trust him," declared Soyo. "I'm sorry, Abuto. I trust you, but him… I just…"

Abuto gave a dark chuckle. "Just because I tend to be more tolerant and interact more with you, that doesn't mean that I'm not a monster, young princess."

"I need that monster in you, Abuto," Soyo clarified –to Abuto's mild surprise.

Abuto had thought that a little girl who probably had never been properly educated with politics and war would be more righteous-minded and probably would prefer to fight the war with diplomacy as opposed to bloodied fight. _Maybe she would have aimed for diplomacy_ , _had her brother not died right in front of her eyes,_ Abuto thought grimly.

Soyo continued, "We will never stand a chance to win this war without the demons' help. I don't mind dirtying my hands for a bigger purpose. It's just that… I really can't trust him. How can I trust someone who would kill his own loyal followers? That kind of man would probably turn his back against us and –"

Abuto interrupted, "You saw what happened to Sina and Hachi?"

Soyo nodded.

Abuto shrugged again. "If that's the reason why you think you can't trust him, then I suppose I need to clarify things a bit," Abuto said. "Those two men were the ones who tried to kill Captain first."

"…What?"

"Well, I wouldn't be able to fully justify his doings, but I thought you should know that," Abuto said as he patted Soyo's shoulders lightly. "If he's given his approval, then I'd go with you by all means, little princess."

* * *

Soyo was more than willing to throw the whole idea of including the Yato (except for Kagura) completely away. It was a bit regretful not to have Abuto on their side, but there were too many concerns to be addressed if she agreed to his other side of the deals.

Even if Kamui was not the one who initiated the attack against his own followers, his whole existence was still an issue to be dealt. The history still proved that he got into battle for his personal interest. The event five years ago (when he did not even hesitate finishing the shinobis who were supposed to be on his side) proved that Kamui was simply a force of war that could never swear an allegiance to any side.

Soyo's main concern was Okita though.

If Kamui joined the war, it was inevitable that the two would meet. And it was almost a certain notion that Kamui would have a sudden new priority in the battle. Okita might have shared the same passion to fight with Kamui again, but at least, Soyo knew that with Kondo's life at stake, Okita would not do anything reckless as to be swept away by the quest to finally determine who was the stronger out of the two. Kamui had no such restrain, and Soyo was sure he would do all he could do to fight Okita and that would only disrupt the battle to overthrow the Hitotsubashi.

So in the end, Soyo was more than willing to discard the idea –even at the sake of losing Abuto as a battle force. And for the past two weeks, Soyo had never even brought up the issue with Abuto again.

But it was _him_ who actually came up to her.

That night, Soyo had been walking by herself after her shift taking care of Tae Shimura, when Kamui suddenly appeared in front of her.

With an excited grin that dreaded Soyo to her bones, he told her.

"I heard from Abuto that you have an interesting proposal for me?"

* * *

 **To be Continued**


	11. Truce

**A/n:** Again, two-chapter update, so go back to Chapter 10 for where this story last left you. This week's probably going to be the last time I can update with double chapter. The following next chapters will be more wordy, and I don't think the weekend is sufficient to edit two chapters anymore. Oh well, anyway, hope you can enjoy the story!

* * *

 **What Pumps the Blood (** _ **Faster**_ **)**

 _ **Chapter 11 – Truce**_

* * *

She ended up treating him again.

Soyo did not _want_ to, but this issue they would discuss would be a delicate one and she thought that it had better been dealt when her counterpart was in a good mood. The restaurants were closed, and she ended up taking him to a still-open ramen stand –telling him that he could order anything. And while she was pessimistic this whole food festivity would make him change his mind, she thought she could always try, just in case.

During the dinner course, Kamui truly did not even bring up the issue of the Yato's involvement in the act to rescue Kondo from the execution. He only mumbled several things like why she was not eating or something the likes, but never the main issue.

"I don't think I will ever have the appetite when I'm dining with you," Soyo pointed out at his latest remark of whether she would mind if he finished up her half-eaten ramen. Last time she dined with Kamui, there were corpses around them, and this time, the idea of discussing the possibility of allowing him kill her best friend was enough trigger to her appetite loss.

"Well," Kamui shrugged as he slurped the noodles. "That's good news for me."

Soyo sighed. Kamui had almost finished his meal and she thought that this would be the best time to express her proposal.

"If I promise to treat you to dinner like this every night during your stay on earth, would you forget whatever you heard from Abuto and not be involved in our fight?"

Kamui put down the bowl he finished in seconds and turned his body to his side to stare at the girl beside him. His stare remained focused and unwavering, to the point that Soyo had to look away.

When she finally did look away, he responded.

"No."

It was not surprising but Soyo thought that she could try more. "It won't be that much of a fight, actually," she argued. "We're not yet ready for a total war with the Hitotsubashi. Our objective is merely to save Kondo-san. There won't be much of a fight. We're even planning to steal Kondo-san before any fight occurs."

"You know the fight is not my concern. What's the most interesting things out of it? The weak footmen soldiers? Nothing that your force can't handle," Kamui pointed out. "It is who I will be meeting in that fight that interests me."

With Kondo's life at stake and Kamui's lack of understanding on the gravity of the situation, Soyo found herself more frustrated with the debate. "Look, I apologize for what I said that day."

Kamui tilted his head. "What you said?"

"That day when I saw you killed your subordinates," Soyo stated. "I said some insensitive things to you. I apologize. I thought you were the one who killed them without any reason, just for sheer fun."

"…Did Abuto tell you that?"

"He did."

"Abuto said unnecessary stuff to you."

"He also said unnecessary stuffs to you," Soyo agreed –referring to the whole idea of Kamui's involvement in the fight. Well, Soyo honestly liked Abuto, and she knew it was not as if she told Abuto to keep the plan a secret from Kamui, but she had wished Abuto would not have been so open about it to his captain.

Chuckling, Kamui then fully turned his body so that he faced her side. He propped his cheek on his left palm and lazily told her, "Irrespective of that, now that I know that the earth policeman would be involved in this fight, there's no way I will –"

"Please," Soyo begged. "Please don't fight him."

Kamui raised an amused eyebrow. Leaning forward even closer to her, he questioned, "Between the two of us, who do you think will win?" Upon her silence, Kamui smiled, "The fact that you doubt your friend's strength, does that mean that you actually believe I will win and kill him?"

Despite the seemingly eternal fear she had for him, her tone turned involuntarily icy. "Okita-san is very strong. Do not ever underestimate him."

Kamui shook his head. "I don't. If I do, I wouldn't have this much interest on him."

Soyo sighed. "There's no gain in such fight. You two will end up hurting yourselves."

At that statement, Kamui blinked. "Don't tell me that you're actually worried about me as well?"

Horrified with what she implied and the close distance she actually allowed him to be, Soyo quickly retaliated and shifted away from him, "No. But Kagura surely will."

"Hmm," Kamui mumbled.

He said nothing after that and Soyo immediately directed her gaze to the warm tea in front of her. Cupping the cup with both her palms, she concentrated on anything but him. It remained a fruitless attempt, because even without looking directly at him, she could feel that Kamui was still staring at her side profile.

It reached a point, after nearly two minutes of him staring at her, where she finally said, without looking at him, "Why are you staring at me?"

Blinking, as if he had not realized what he had been doing, Kamui responded, "No reason in particular."

Soyo fidgeted on her seat. The whole situation was getting uncomfortable. She had not succeeded in persuading him not to fight Okita. And while it was a futile attempt on her part of persuasion, she did not feel like she could leave this place until she could make him change his mind. Since Kamui showed no evidence that he would change his mind, Soyo was not sure if she could leave for a while –if ever, by that analogy.

Closing her eyes, she asked him. "What do I need to do to make you abandon that idea?"

"It's not as if you have much bargain to offer, brat."

Huffing a sigh, she swayed from the topic a bit. "I'm not a brat. And I have a name."

"Well, you're still a brat to me. And I don't know your name, so I don't know how –"

At that comment, Soyo turned her face to him, horror on a different level on her face. "You _don't_ know my name?"

He was taken aback at her sudden action of turning her face to him –wide, hazel eyes stared at his blue ones in another kind of dread. Shrugging, Kamui only responded, "I'm not good with names. And everyone only call you 'Hime-sama', my sister calls you 'my friend' and you're a 'little miss' to Abuto. How should I –"

Soyo dropped her jaw slightly and stared incredulously at Kamui. "After all things we've done together –" she paused, because _that_ sounded wrong. "I mean, you _seriously_ don't know my name?"

Kamui was stammered, but in the end, it felt ridiculous that he had to even feel defensive upon not knowing her name. He owed her nothing, and he told her that. "Why should I even know your name in the first place?"

Soyo looked as if she was about to say something, but changed her mind in the last second. Pursing her lips tight together, she turned her face away from him. "…Forget it. You're right. You have no reason to know my name."

Kamui stared at the girl and with a look of equal disbelief, he asked her. "Are you… mad that I don't know your name?"

Soyo felt her ears burned. She knew she had no reason to be mad for that, but it was somewhat still… insulting? By all logical line of reasoning, she was completely and fully aware that there was not a pounce of reason for Kamui to know her name, but, _come on._ Soyo thought of all these times chances had made them encounter each other. She even had the credit of nearly killing him, treating his wound, having some actual conversation with him –and even after those, he still couldn't frigging bother to know her name?!

There was a soft chuckle from her left. And the chuckle actually grew into laughter –a mirthful one.

She still refused to look at him. His laughter sounded genuine but it was not in any way nice for her to hear.

His laughter eventually ceased. "Fine."

"…"

Kamui smiled at the face that still looked at the other direction. Poking her shoulders, he joked at his 'nameless' companion. "Hey, _Brat._ "

Soyo wished that she had not been so humiliated. But the redness on her ears must have spread to her face and she did not want to face him when looking like a boiled crab, so she kept her face away from him.

Chuckling to himself, Kamui then extended his arm to touch her chin and turned her face to look at him.

Even with his hand on her chin and her face technically facing him, Soyo could not look at him right in the eye. There were little tingles that crawled from the place where he touched and she was not sure if she could even properly look at him.

Amused at her resistance, Kamui lightly tapped her cheek to get her attention. "You should look at the eyes of the person you're talking to." When Soyo still made no voluntary move to look at him directly, Kamui grinned and told her. "I was about to say, that as a form of my apology for not knowing your name, fine. I promise I will not fight that earth policeman. At least not until you and your gang successfully save whoever it is that you want to save."

It was at that statement that Soyo finally locked her gaze to his cerulean eyes.

Wide-eyed, she asked. "…You promise?"

"I promise."

Soyo tried to look for any dishonesty, an attempt to break an oath, any traitorous gesture. She would probably never be able to hold onto a psychopath's promise, but there was just something so truthful about the way he was looking at her.

And it was intuition, perhaps, but she believed him.

"Thank you," Soyo softly muttered; her lips were slowly pulled to form a gentle smile.

At the display of her smile, Kamui widened his eyes. Quickly pulling his hand off her chin (he had not even realized he had been holding her chin for that long), he threw his gaze away instead. His reply came out only after he cleared his throat in discomfort.

"…No problem."

* * *

Just as Soyo predicted months backward, the Hitotsubashi faction decided that the execution of the leader of the ex. Shinsengumi Chief be carried out in the most publicized way. Flyers and announcements regarding the date and place of the execution were spread out throughout Edo. It was obvious that the Hitotsubashi was expecting to fish new prisoners. The execution ground was at an open yard near the riverbank of Edo, and unsurprisingly, hundreds of soldiers were put on guard for the sake of the execution of a single man.

"I knew there'd be a lot of them," Shinpachi whispered next to Soyo as they pulled their straw hats down before a patrolling guard passed by them. "But I didn't think it'd be this much."

Soyo waited until the guard walked away before she made her reply to Shinpachi. "Yamazaki should be ready with the truck. Hijikata-san and Katsura-san have sneaked among the viewers. And so long that the riverside is unguarded, Okita-san will be able to carry out the plan. I'm just more worried of the civilians."

Shinpachi stole a glance to the girl beside him. "Hime-sama, you're also not cut for this fight. You should hide with Otsuu-chan as well."

Soyo knew that there was no use of her in the actual battlefield and she would not pretend that it was otherwise. Her role stopped at assisting Hijikata and Katsura collecting information and planning strategies. This was not her place any longer, and now that she had ensured everyone had been on their right spots, she nodded in agreement to Shinpachi's concern. "Be safe," she whispered before she bowed her head slightly lower and pulled the straw hat to hide her face more. Swiftly, she tried to blend with the crowd and excused herself.

With calm steps, Soyo found her way out of the crowd. By the time she managed to break through the pool of people and step onto a much more vacant space, the civilians behind her were gasping. The vehicle that carried Kondo had arrived and the man had just been pulled out of the van.

Hurrying her steps, Soyo saw the Otsuu waved at her from one of the two-story restaurant with a balcony. Mentally promising herself to remind Otsuu not to be too obvious next time, Soyo paced her steps to the restaurant. She bowed slightly to the shop owner (who had also stepped out of his restaurant to get a better look of the soon-to-be execution) and quickly made her way to the stairs so that she could join Otsuu in getting a better view.

"Everything looks ok so far," Otsuu commented when she felt Soyo stood beside her. "But I can't help to feel worried."

"Me too," murmured Soyo as she fixated her gaze to the execution ground. Her eyes stole a quick glance to the east side of the riverside. She saw no Okita. Soyo knew there was no need to worry about Okita, because he always came at the right place and time, but still, it agitated her. Kondo was already forced to kneel down and his executioner was ready with his sword. A public official was speaking with his megaphone, announcing all the crimes that Kondo was allegedly guilty for and the warning message from the Shogunate of how this execution were to be made an example for those who were planning to commit another revolt against the government.

There was still no sign of Okita.

Soyo tapped her fingers on the balcony railings impatiently. Okita surely was trying to pull a very unhealthy last-minute heroic stunt.

It _had better be_ heroic.

The appointed announcer had wrapped up his speech and he took a step back so that the viewers could get a better look of Kondo. Otsuu reached her arm out to Soyo and squeezed it hard, while Soyo did the same thing to the railings. She could see that some of their comrades among the crowds were getting agitated. The executioner was ready on his position; his sword was fully positioned above Kondo's kneeling figure –one swing was all it took to chop the head of the ex Chief.

The announcer signaled the execution to be carried out.

Otsuu's grip on her arm and Soyo's grip on the balcony's railing got harder on the same second.

 _Okita!_

Okita Sougo truly never disappointed.

There was a commotion heard and when Soyo and Otsuu braved themselves to open their eyes again, they could see that the executioner was the one kneeling behind Kondo instead; he was holding his hand which seemed to be at the utmost pain.

Simultaneous relieved sighs escaped Soyo and Otsuu's lips. But the tension returned when they realized that the Bakufu had readied their stances –and now were focusing themselves on the sole person that was casually walking across the river.

Shouting ensued among the crowd and it was not hard to know who got the attention of them all.

"Okita-san…" Otsu whispered as she tightened her clench around Soyo's arm again.

Okita Sougo stole the show as he dashed out of the water and challenged those who even still dared to move. With the cue from Okita's appearance, the other forces began their movements as well. Soyo could see how Hijikata and Katsura both mobilized their subordinates from two directions –all supporting Okita who made his advances to close the gap to Kondo. Kagura and Shinpachi were also handling a good deal of the Hitotsubashi soldiers themselves.

The Hitotsubashi soldiers did not stay put. They all formed a barricade around Kondo, and to Soyo's horror, she could see that dozens of armed men rushed out of the buildings that surrounded the execution place –they all had been hiding as well, trying to trap the Shinsengumi and the Joui patriots in a big circle. Civilians were seen to run and scatter around. Dreadfully, Soyo and Otsuu witnessed how the Hitotsubashi soldiers essentially butchered everyone who tried to break free from their circles –slaying civilians included.

"How could they do this to those people?!" shrieked Otsuu as she witnessed a soldier swinging his sword towards an already armless woman who tried to escape with her child.

Soyo also gritted her teeth. The focus was branched out now. Okita still had his utmost attention to break through the layers of soldiers who tried to shield Kondo, with Hijikata quickly jumping into the center of the execution ground as well, helping to clear way to Okita. Some Joui patriots and Shinsengumi were fighting the sieging Hitotsubashi soldiers, but the existence of civilians among them truly became an additional burden to carry. While Katsura's and Hijikata's men took extra caution not to hurt any civilians, the Hitotsubashi soldiers, on the other hand, did not have that much burden on their shoulders, as they only slayed whoever was not on their side.

Soyo glanced impatiently at the fight. The Hitotsubashi soldiers were nearly triple their forces' amount. She had no doubt of their forces' abilities, but being outnumbered still proved to be a disadvantage.

She glanced at the controller that she had gripped on her hand. A bomb trigger. Katsura had lent it to her so that she could use it once Kondo was safely brought into Yamazaki's truck –a diversion for Kondo and the others to escape. She knew that according to the plan, she could not blow it now. Katsura had only managed to install it on one abandoned house. Pressing the button now would mean that they would have no diversion tactic left when Yamazaki's truck was to escape with Kondo.

"Soyo!" Otsuu screamed beside her. "Do it now!" she shrieked when the Hitotsubashi soldiers carelessly targeted more and more civilians.

And to Soyo's very late realization, unless to defend themselves, the Hitotsubashi soldiers were actually not attacking the Joui patriots or the Shinsengumi.

"Soyo! They're attacking the civilians on purpose!" Otsuu insisted –reading exactly what Soyo had in her mind. Indeed. And the Hitotsubashi, thoughtless as they were, only put the Shinsengumi and Joui patriots at more disadvantage –as they now needed to divide their attention in protecting the civilians as well. Otsuu squeezed Soyo's hand tighter. "You have to blow the bomb now!"

"But we won't have anything left as a distraction! Kondo will not be able to escape! And all the Shinsengumi and Joui patriots would only be trapped and –"

"We have to make sacrifices!" Otsuu reminded.

Soyo knew that. There was no way she could let these civilians die even further, but to imagine that her friends would be trapped and killed afterwards…

If she were her brother, she knew that he would know which one to sacrifice.

Biting her lips, her hands trembled when they were holding the controller, not knowing whether to press it or not. "I-I'm sorry, all –"

"Don't hesitate."

Her tremble ceased.

Someone landed on the balcony's railing next to her. His face was hidden behind the white bandages, but she would recognize that voice anywhere.

"You can cause the distraction now. I can surely distract your enemy's forces again later," Kamui assured.

And it was all the assurance Soyo needed.

Her quivers were no longer present and she firmly pressed the red button.

A loud explosion emerged; Katsura had planted a medium-sized bomb on the northern side of the execution site –where most of the Hitotsubashi soldiers were stationed. The expected panic ensued. The Hitotsubashi faction did not expect the explosion; and unfortunately, though all of the Joui Patriots and Shinsengumi had been briefed of the explosion before, none of them were told that the explosion was to occur at that time. Soyo now could only hope that the Joui patriots and Shinsengumi would have a slightly better apprehension than the Hitotsubashi to quickly finish up their mission.

At the very least, Soyo could count on Okita.

Kondo was already brought back inside the prisoner van –at least, that seemed to be the case because there was only one reason why Okita would slice up the vehicle in half.

She could not see much and could not hear much afterwards. The bomb had loosened the guards of the Hitotsubashi and Soyo could see some civilians already made their escape out of the sieging barricade that the Hitotsubashi soldiers were putting up. Innocent victims were unavoidable: some civilians still could not escape and some were still subjected to the random slashing by the Hitotsubashi factions. But at least some could escape. At least some lives were saved.

And the question now was whether Kondo's and her other friends' lives could be saved as well.

There was a roar of engine –a cue that Yamazaki had started the engine of the truck he was driving. It meant either Kondo was already in Okita's care, or better, both of them were already inside Yamazaki's truck. But the starting of the engine alarmed the Hitotsubashi factions –who now formed another barricade with cannons readily aimed to Yamazaki's truck.

"That's my cue for the second distraction, isn't it?" Kamui remarked as he casually sat on the railing next to Soyo.

"Yes," Soyo hissed; starting to get panicked that Kamui still did not leave the place to carry out what he promised her earlier. "You said that you will do the second distraction. _Now_ is the only chance."

"And what's the magic word?"

Soyo's heart shrank. Panicked at the riffles that were already aimed to Yamazaki's truck' tires and the Hitotsubashi's soldiers who were now focused to the truck, she screamed, "I don't have time for this now!"

"Just one word," Kamui insisted.

" _Please_!" Soyo screamed. "Help us now, please!"

"Correct."

And before Soyo could even blink, Kamui already disappeared from her sight.

* * *

It was out of sheer boredom; and 80% of it was due to Abuto's silent persistence.

Taking side was never his preference; saving the day was even more out of the question. He only promised the ex. Princess that he would not make a fighting interference against her bodyguard. Being involved in the fight and actually helping Shigeshige's followers was never part of his actual plan. Kamui thought that he probably had a softer spot towards Abuto lately. The older guy had secretly felt rather bad for misunderstanding the situation and requesting his captain to join the fight. To see that even Abuto insistently implied how he should help the anti-government forces was enough of an amusement for Kamui to go and see how the fight went.

 _And besides_ , Kamui thought to himself as he made a big leap and stepped on the heads of soldiers who aimed their guns to the truck –their bodies were crushed immediately with every step he took. _It's about time to say hello to the future opponent._

Kamui had finished causing enough preliminary distraction to those who tried to attack the truck. An opening was made, and Kamui could see from the corner of his eyes that his sister and the others were also rushing to help creating a pathway for the truck to escape.

Knowing that enough distraction was made and now that the truck was roaring its engine and moving out of the scene, he jumped to the truck's hood –alarming those behind the windshield: the plain-faced driver, the main prisoner, the ever-smoking guy, and of course… of course, him.

His hair was much longer than the last time they met, but the face, the thirst of blood, the same lust for battlefield remained. Kamui smiled because it had been a while, but the nostalgia remained.

The driver shrieked but someone behind him with cigarette between his teeth scolded him to keep driving. The prisoner had his eyes set on Kamui, but Kamui's eyes were set only to that one person.

The truck moved, and Kamui squatted comfortably; his balance was on point as he waved to the now long-haired samurai who never tore his gaze off him.

"Hello! We meet again Mr. Policeman!" Kamui greeted.

Okita slowly smiled and he closed his eyes briefly in acknowledgement. When his eyes were open again, Kamui thought that he couldn't relate to a person better than at that point.

"Still alive, Villain?" Okita responded. "Good to know."

The roaring around them (that had nothing to do with the two men and everything to do with the prisoner that was escaping) urged Kamui to speak in a louder voice. "I'm just here to say hello. I promised someone not to fight you today, and it seems that you'd be a bit busy for the next couple of days, and I hate to be a bother. But…" Kamui smiled as he scratched his head. "You know that our fight is inevitable, right?"

"Appreciate that you know my main priority at the moment," Okita replied. "But yeah. Don't worry, after things settle down a bit on our part, I'd gladly entertain your wish."

Grinning, Kamui bit his lips in the hope of suppressing his own excitement. "…Cool."

Okita smirked. "Now, you could either be a very animate car accessory or a good distraction."

"Don't have much things to do now, so I'll do the latter," Kamui said before he jumped off the car's hood again and disappeared from all of the four Shinsengumi's sights. He had some government officials to slaughter.

Hijikata smacked Okita's head from his side. "Oi, Sougo! Don't you dare play around and –" he paused upon noticing the ever widening smile on Okita's face and realizing that it was too late. "Damnit, you're actually also excited about that, aren't you?"

* * *

 **To be Continued**

* * *

 **BloodyCamellia:** I was like…whoa, at the length of your review, so first and foremost, let me thank you for that. I thoroughly appreciate that you drop by again and even go all the hassle of typing that one long letter (Now I feel bad. I'm sorry for this…). But anyway, ahahaha, I've actually finished writing this story (except for the epilogue), so actually, weekly update will not be a problem (I still have to edit and revise though, and this is what I cannot always guarantee: the weekly revision). Thank you, I'm glad that you still read the scenes even when they have no Kamui in them (I'll make sure he'll appear more often in the future hehe). And, really, I don't know what else to say. You've been too kind with the encouragement and I'm sooo thankful of your understanding of my approach to the story. Soyo, as a warning really, would be a character I'm not afraid to ruin –in a sense, she'd be pretty…antagonistic for a protagonist? Hehe. Momo (Aeneid)'s stories? Of course I've checked them and they're so good and keep me fangirling at the most inappropriate times haha. Another kamusoyo writer you should check is Mei Vir D. Ripper! All in all, thank you for the support!

 **Guest** : Where to start…that was the first time I receive a review in Spanish, and I really cannot thank you enough for the effort you took to convey your message to me. Thanks a lot, really. I have to use google translate, so I'm not sure if my understanding is correct, but anyway: hahahaha, why pity Kamui, he deserves worse really (I still love him though, unfortunately haha). Gintoki? Hmm, yes, let's hope so! Again, I really appreciate your intention in trying to convey what you said (though in other language) so thanks a lot again! Romance will soon come, hopefully it will be in good timing. And ah…! Thanks for letting me know that people read this! I mean, I know there are traffic stats and everything, but I was actually getting kind of saddened (I won't abandon the story though. I've always made sure to finish all (or at least a majority) part of this story before I publish the first chapter, because I kind of had a feeling not many will read this, and I don't want to be saddened by it). Again, thanks!

 **kagvra-hime:** Thank you! And thanks for the encouragement with the sub-plots. As much as my OTP heart wishes to get rid of it, even before I'm a Kamusoyo shipper, I'm a Gintama lover –Sorachi created a bunch of interesting characters that I just want to write about, even when they're not my OTP. And huhuhuhuhu…do you know how much it means to me when you say your comment on the characterizations? Personally, I feel like I still haven't grasped Soyo's character completely (Abuto, surprisingly, becomes the character that I enjoy writing a lot here) and Kamui's character is actually a bit 'easier' to write than Soyo's. Really, I feel like stepping onto booby traps when writing about Soyo –I really don't know whether the approach is right. My guts tell me that I still haven't gotten her all figured out, but maybe with more writing, I can get to understand her more. Ah sorry for the ramble. But thanks a lot for the encouragement again!


	12. A Toast for Insanity

A/N: Merry Christmas to those who celebrate and happy holiday! Here goes the next installment of the fic for you to (hopefully) enjoy. I should have posted this last week, but really, the timing is kinda hard. I'll be out of town soon, but I really want to release it now, so, sorry for any rushed editing/writing.

 **BloodyCamellia:** I am glad that you can accept Soyo here, I've been kind of afraid I've crossed too many lines. Oh, and by the way, I think you analyze her character much better than I do, hehe. Abuto being a nagging mother? Yeah, you're right, that's actually more fitting ^^. I also like the way you analyze Kamui's character. You're right, he's so simple that he's too complicated –that kind of summarizes him very well. Hehehe, glad that you enjoy the tidbit of romance in the last chapter, now it makes me nervous to write a romance scene of them –logically speaking, it is hard to imagine anything romantic to happen between Kamusoyo, but at least I have this rabid shipper heart with me to make me go along with it, haha. Thank you as always for giving me such a long review (you don't have to write that much, but that's really appreciated, and I'm so thankful) and while I'm kinda afraid with the expectation you have (hehe) but I'll try my best.

 **Guest:** Hello again! I'm glad to know that you're still reading the story, and again, thanks for making the effort to communicate it with me. Again, this time I relied on google translate, so I'm sorry if there's any miscommunication. Glad if you can enjoy those scenes you mentioned in last chapter, there'll be more romance going forward, so I hope you can enjoy it (although on the other hand, I might need to sacrifice some characterization aspect). Thank you for giving me the encouragement, I really appreciate it and all of your efforts!

 **Themdena:** I'm glad if you can enjoy it! Thank you!

* * *

 **What Pumps the Blood (Faster)**

 _ **Chapter 12 – A Toast for Insanity**_

* * *

By the time Soyo and Otsuu reached the agreed celebratory meet-up place much later that day, everything was chaos already.

The sight of Kondo's…er… private part was the first thing the two girls saw when they were about to enter the large house within the secluded samurai residence complex. The supposedly much beloved and respected prison escapee was already forced to return to his derogated self as he was hung fully naked by the entrance door. Standing on the outer side of the house (because if they got in, Soyo and Otsuu must past below that precious Kondo's _thing_ , and no matter how low they crouched, it was still a horrifying fact), they could only hear the festive commotion in the spacious hall inside.

"My, my, Kondo-san, what kind of indecency you are showing to the princess?" muttered a man whose voice instantly brought a smile to Soyo's face. It was true that they kept exchanging letters, but ever since Okita left to trail Kondo to Kyoto, and until the rescue mission earlier that day, she had not really had the chance to meet him.

Okita grabbed Kondo's hips and forcefully pulled his commander from the wall he was hammered into. Now, with his naked commander on his shoulders, Okita waved to greet the two female guests. "Welcome, Hime-sama. Welcome, miss-idol-who-barely-sells-500-copies."

"I sold 513 copies this time!" protested Otsuu, but she and Soyo still stepped inside the house. It turned out to be a bad decision it seemed, because the house was filled with drunkards (who somehow became obsessed with her) or Terakado Tsuu's fanclub members (who were obsessed with her to begin with. They all helped with Kondo's rescue plan, still). The two girls shrieked simultaneously when two men's underwear were accidentally thrown to them. Madness occurred after that: something that involved a chain of '" _It's you!" – "No, it's you!_ "' game to know who was responsible for throwing dirty clothes to not only Edo's number one idol but also the former princess of Edo; rabid fanboys (Shinpachi included) rushing to save Otsuu; fiery speech by Katsura on a completely irrelevant topic; a drunken Kagura who beat everybody up for disgracing her best friend (or for any reason, really); Okita who somehow pointed all the evidence to the ever silent Hijikata and dressed him in seppuku outfit all so sudden, and all the madness, all the riot.

It was probably too early to celebrate things, but no invitees bothered to argue otherwise that night.

Soyo laughed out loud at the story a Joui Patriot told her and took a sip of her umpteenth shots of sake. Rescuing Kondo was only the first step they took to even out the situation. They were still far ahead from their quest to overthrow the Bakufu Government; Kondo's return only got them back to the break-even position (though may be not so), but all in all, it was still something worth celebrating, a break they needed from all the despair.

And trust these weird people to do it so skillfully.

The night grew old, and it was time which determined who was able to live it through all those liqueurs. Soon, the festivity dimmed, and people eventually fell into their fatigued bodies' demands. The day had been a long one, and the fight was a strenuous one. By the time the clock on the wall pointed at three in the morning, there were few who were still awake.

Kagura had been quite a drinker, managing not to pass out until just recently. Among the sleeping figures, she eventually seemed to find a comfortable spot to rest her head on Okita's thigh (Okita had been asleep even before the clock struck twelve). Soyo made sure to take one more (after at least a dozen) picture of the two sleeping so closely together. She resisted the urge to reposition them into a more intimate position –if either was awake and realized their position, it would have been the greatest pity.

"Geez, princess," muttered Abuto when Soyo returned back to the table to grab another bottle. "You've drunk too much."

Soyo ignored the comment and poured the content of tequila to Abuto's glass instead. "Surprisingly, I can actually hold my liqueur very well," she said as she pushed the glass to Abuto (who groaned ' _not again_ ') and poured another one for herself.

"You might not feel it now, but when it goes up, you'd be regretting yourself," Abuto murmured as he lightly clanked his small glass with Soyo's. Both finished the shots in one gulp.

"I usually just get sleepy when I get too drunk," explained Soyo. "But I feel as awake as ever, and that must be a good sign."

"Not really," muttered Abuto.

Soyo smiled and dragged the bar stool next to Abuto. She had intended to climb the high chair herself, but Abuto, considerate as ever, lifted her up without touching her inappropriately and seated her on the high chair. He grabbed the bottle and poured the next shots for the two of them.

Gulping the drinks at the same time, they both exhaled satisfied sighs.

"I haven't had the chance to thank you," Soyo began again after a long silence (or as silent as it could be in the hall filled with snoring sounds). "I didn't expect you or that man to actually help us today."

"He said it'd be good for warm-ups."

Soyo sighed and used her finger to play with the rim of the glass. After a moment of deliberation, she heaved another sigh. "…He fulfilled his promise not to fight Okita-san today. I don't even want to know what will happen tomorrow. He'd be challenging Okita-san for a duel, wouldn't he?"

"Perhaps he wouldn't if you ask nicely."

She scoffed. "I doubt that'll be the case."

"Hmm," Abuto deliberated. "You're right."

Soyo threw a long glance at the crowd sleeping in the hall, and foremost, at Kondo who was still not spared from nudity (and it was morbid that she was actually getting used to seeing him naked. What would her brother say if he was still alive?) and at the circle of forces that they had. She then looked back, figuratively, to the times that they had been fighting. Five years. It was a victorious night indeed, but five years was a long time, and she shuddered at the possibility that five years from then, they would still be here; the notion of overthrowing the corrupted government still remained a wishful thinking.

 _If_ they were all still alive five years later, that alone would even be a miraculous thing.

Her fists clenched. This could not go on forever. They could not wait. The revolt had to be tougher, fiercer. The longer they waited, the more possible it was that they would perish one by one.

"Abuto-san –" Soyo began as she turned to her left, but only to find that Abuto's sandy-haired head had been placed on the table; the softest hint of snore coming from his lips.

Sighing, Soyo gazed at the crowds among her. Everybody seemed to already be asleep (though there had been a constant uninterrupted speech at the opposite corner –Katsura apparently was not done with his speech, even in his sleep). She thought of letting herself fall asleep as well, but the will to sleep had not reached her.

When she was finally bored playing with Abuto's hair (now all braided and tied with flower pins) and began to think that the hall was too hot for her to stay in, Soyo grabbed an almost full bottle, hopped off the stool and walked out.

The night (or very early morning) breeze blew onto her face and she soothed herself in the coolness that contrasted the heat in the inside of the hall. She walked around the vacant street, hopping on an imaginary hopscotch ground; waiting.

When it came, she was done doing three hopscotch turns.

"It took you a while to come out."

Soyo glanced up at the man who was sitting on the roof –his feet were casually hanging and moving in rhythm.

Shrugging, she let the wind carried her voice to reach Kamui up there. "And it took you a while to actually greet me."

* * *

There was a soft hum coming from her lips as they walked on the vacant street, and now that Kamui thought about it, this was the first time that he had ever seen her so casual being near him. It probably had everything to do with alcohol in her system (no matter how sober she presented herself to be, the flushed face and the distinctive scent of alcohol could not convince him otherwise), but all in all, it took Kamui quite a while to get used with the distance the former princess allowed herself to be; her shoulder was brushing his arm every three minutes or so –not that he actually counted, not that he was particularly bothered with it.

"Do you have a spare hair tie?"

There was something about the path they were walking, the destination that was never clear, things that made him unfocused of her query and he only made a response two seconds later. "Huh?"

"Hair tie. Scrunchie. I don't know," Soyo said with a shrug. "Your hair is long. I would have thought that you always bring spares."

"Not always, but hmm, let's see," Kamui noted as he reached out to fish his pocket. There was nothing but a couple of gold coins that Abuto had given him. "No. I don't bring any spare."

"Too bad," Soyo mused as her hand reached out to the back of her head, swept her black hair to the front of her right shoulder and idly braided it. The cool breeze caressed her nape and she exhaled a relieved sigh. "Better."

Kamui admitted that he did steal a glance to the pale nape that was now partially exposed. He refrained himself from making any comment on that.

"Here," Soyo said instead as she offered him a bottle of alcohol that she had been carrying.

"What's this for?" he asked, but accepted the bottle nonetheless.

"Celebratory drink. There might not be much for you to celebrate, but everyone involved in today's mission has drunk at least one gulp. And… well, you're more than involved in today's rescue mission," Soyo explained.

Kamui chose not to tell her that for the past few hours, Abuto had sneaked some bottles for him to drink himself. But he knew that liqueur never truly quenched his thirst, and so he saw no actual harm in accepting another bottle. Shrugging at the offer, he uncapped the lid and drank it straight from the bottle.

Soyo groaned. "I forgot to tell you that I also still want to drink that. Well… don't mind it. My bad. Should have brought two glasses."

Wiping the remains of liquid from his lips, he offered the bottle back to her. "Then just drink it right from the bottle."

"You just drank it," she said. Realizing the difference of customs, she added, "It's kind of intimate to share a bottle you drink straight up."

He shrugged easily. "I don't see it that way."

"We view things differently," she replied.

Kamui chuckled at the obvious. "Certainly."

They continued to walk around the vacant residential area. Kamui unconsciously drew the bottle to his lips again when neither made a comment or an attempt of conversation. Not that either owed the other one, but he got nothing better to do.

When the dark-haired girl decided to talk again, she stopped herself from walking and turned her face to directly look at him. Kamui instinctively stopped walking as well and returned the gaze.

"…I haven't thanked you," she started slowly just when she broke the eye contact. Soyo gazed around the vacant street and found no bench or an actual place to sit on. She ended up ignoring the teaching Jiiya gave her in the past and sat on the pedestrian walk instead.

Kamui raised an eyebrow of her gesture, but he still followed her suit. Once he seated himself next to her, he asked back, "For which one? Helping your people rescue that gorilla? Or for not killing the policeman?"

"Both," she stated firmly. "I wasn't expecting that you'd actually help us out, but still. Thank you. And…" she trailed.

Kamui briefly glanced at her side profile before he returned his glance back to the street in front of him. He knew where this was going and he read what was on her mind out loud. "If your next word is to request me to stop fighting that policeman at all, then you're getting too full of yourself."

Soyo sighed. "Can't there be another way? Can't you just not fight him?" she still tried.

"No way," Kamui affirmed, getting slightly tired with all her persuasions. "Though for your information, I don't plan to kill him that soon. That policeman is an extremely rare target. If I kill him too fast then it would probably take me another decade before I can fight someone with the same caliber. But still," he reminded when he spotted hope in her eyes (he disliked the way she _thought_ she could change his mind). "No one can stop me from fighting him. Our fight is inevitable."

Soyo gave him a long stare as he sipped more of the drink. He noticed her stare and pursued it, "Anything that you want to rebut?"

"… Why do you like fighting so much? Why do you like _killing_ so much?"

He found her question funny. He grinned and replied half-jokingly, "Because I'm the villain and by definition, I would enjoy killing so much?"

She did not find his answer funny. Soyo knew that in the first place it was a question which answer was too obvious, and that she was not supposed to be surprised by his answer. Him as a villain was a definite notion, but still… _Still._ "…Kagura said that you were not always like this."

When she brought the conversation to an I-think-I-know-it-all level, he was more eager to prove her the contrary. He was about to challenge her that she knew nothing –not a miniscule thing about him, but a part of him knew that it was not the case entirely. It was something weird, but their conversations were always weird to begin with, and the mere fact that there was even further conversation on this was weirder.

Kamui ended up remembering a statement that he gave to Housen years and years prior, and thought that maybe he could convey the same to the girl. To draw the line. To knock a real sense to her that whatever was it that she thought he was, he was always more than that.

"It's simply thirst. I don't just want it. I just _need_ it."

When Soyo made no response to that, Kamui gave a small smile to himself. He supposed he had told her this, but there was no harm repeating a similar statement to someone as thick-headed as the former princess of Edo. "I'm just thirsty. And it's the kind of thirst that can never be quenched by anything else. Not food. Not this," he made a demonstration by drinking more and more of the alcohol in the bottle. "Not women," he gave her a deliberate look for the sake of merely setting the standard. He smirked when he noticed her usual fidget returned. "Nothing cuts for it. I don't need things like that."

"Then what do you need?" Soyo asked, again with the rhetorical question.

His gaze drifted afar. "Blood. Only when I'm with someone of equal or greater blood than mine does my soul feel relief." He scratched his head, some orange strands of hair tangled loose. "You're not a fighter. You will never understand this kind of things."

"Oh don't get me wrong," Soyo's laugh was tinted in dark amusement. "I don't even _want_ to understand you."

Kamui smiled, not feeling insulted at all. "Then what's with all the questions?"

"Just curious," she stated with a frown –as if questioning him back whether there should be any other reason. "Because you caught my interest."

Kamui nearly blurted out the drink he had in his mouth. Coughing to get rid of the tickles in his throat, he then turned to look at her again. "Whoa."

"Whoa, what?" Soyo asked back; her gaze remained unwavering.

Kamui chuckled. Someone needed to tell this girl to stay away from alcohol. Apparently, the princess' drinking habit was that she would lose all of her rationales and lowered her guard to the extent that she could literally be killed. Shaking his head with a bright smile still painted on his face, Kamui cornered her back. "Why would you be interested in me?"

"Because…" she trailed her sentence, her lids were fluttering close. "Because that day you looked like you wanted to cry."

His smile fell.

The notion was absurd, _she_ was absurd. Forcing the smile back (but his fingers were ready to crush a neck –if her answer did not satisfy him), Kamui asked her, " _Cry_? Me?"

Soyo opened her eyes again and shrugged. "That day under the bridge. After you killed your subordinates. I told you that I thought you knew what you wanted. But perhaps… not so," she gazed afar. "You're lost. You looked just like a child and your eyes…" she trailed again. "I don't know, it almost seems like you're screaming for help."

"…You're out of your mind."

She smiled softly. "I get that a lot."

The corner of his lip was pulled to form an underestimating smirk. "And even _if_ that's the case, _what?_ You're the saint who wishes to…" he chuckled. "… _save_ me?"

"Oh, I'm never that altruistic," Soyo reminded cruelly, with a contrasting sweet smile. "And even _if_ I want to, I can't. Not when I'm like this. Not when I'm also silently screaming for help."

He looked at her, studied her. When she was with her friends, when she was out there with other people, she looked nothing more than any other spoiled brat whose life purpose was to have fun –to be free in the world where she, for years, had been confined from. Why would she claim she also needed help, he could not understand. Sure, she her he issues, she had her lost –but who didn't? Everybody had their monsters –she was the one who told him that.

Perhaps he said these thoughts out loud. Perhaps the alcohol had made him easier to read. Whatever the reason was, her next words corresponded to his mental query.

"Everybody has their monsters inside, yes. But it's the monster in you that calls mine out."

Kamui doubted her. She was not like him, not like Shinsuke. Shinsuke, Kamui believed more than anybody, had that monster inside of him so strong. No one had the desire to ruin a world for a mere reason of simply _wanting_ to, like Shinsuke. Kamui felt it was not equivalent –he refused to call her childish anger equivalent. Shifting his position so that he was now facing her (and it struck him only then that she already turned her own sitting position to face him for a while), Kamui challenged her. "Monster in you? Don't flatter yourself. You're just another boring goody-two shoes. Have you ever had the thought of killing anyone? Have you ever had the thought of wanting to ruin this world so bad?"

"I have," she clarified. "I don't want to, but I can't help it. I have," she confirmed. "When my brother died, people thought I could move on, like anybody else. I couldn't. Never could. When I realized that I'd not hesitate to burn this world down if only I could see my brother again, that's when I realize I'm never as saint as I thought I was."

"You're just talking big," Kamui pointed out.

Soyo shrugged. "I just don't have the means. If it were possible for me to sell my soul to a demon to have my brother back, I would. I definitely would."

He stared at her, rather surprised that it was the girl who took it to the extreme. "You're contradicting yourself," Kamui concluded eventually. "You were the one who spoke highly of justice. You were the one who asked me question as to why I killed and such," he reminded her, his frown unknowingly deepened. "You're not a monster, brat. You're just a hypocrite."

Soyo smiled softly. She tilted her head and reached out for the bottle he had in his hand, and –as if to prove his point exactly –drank from the bottle. Kamui raised an eyebrow at the girl who not a while ago expressed her remorse of sharing a bottle with him, who was now drinking the bottle as if she had not had any water in days. Pulling her lips off the bottle, Soyo shrugged. "You're right. I'm a hypocrite. And that's the monster in me. And that's why I told you, I'm the one screaming for help."

He stared at her.

She returned his stare with a smile. "You know what? Sometimes I feel like… as much as I fear you, I fear myself more."

Soyo said not a word after that. She only silently finished up all the liqueur left in the bottle and closed her eyes. "I should go back," she declared as she made a sudden motion to stand up. "There is a lot of things to handle and –"

It was the alcohol. The heavy conversation that tired her soul more than it tired her mouth. It was his presence and the monster that engulfed him, and the monster that never left her. The frustration of acknowledging the vileness she actually had more than a villain had. It was the dizziness, the toxic that only he could infuse in her so easily. All in all, she lost balance of herself and found herself falling back.

Kamui caught her.

And it was again the alcohol. The morbid conversation that had no solution to offer. It was her contradiction and things that always confused him, silently puzzling him. The connection that he did not know he would find in her, of all people. The denial that never felt so justified. The curiosity of where this apparently-not-so simple girl would bring things up to. All in all, even a lost man could lose more –his control included.

Kamui turned her body so that he could face her. Soyo looked up to see his darkening eyes.

It was the confusion. It was the silent cry. It was the unanswered rage and it was the understanding. It was the alcohol and the heat of the night. It was the ache that she felt whenever she looked at him and the desire he did not know he always had for her. It was the connection and disconnection. It was the loss of common sense and the discovery of something raw, and painful, and yet… truthful.

All the things that did not matter, not at that moment, not when it was just there, and their souls understood more than their bodies or minds did.

He descended his face to her and she only closed her eyes when she felt his lips touched hers.

* * *

 **To be continued**

* * *

 **A/n:** There, I hope er… 12 chapters are not too fast for a kiss? (or does this come too late? hehe).


	13. Momentum

**A/n:** Happy new year! I hope this year will be an even better year for all of us! Here goes the latest installment of WPBF!

 **BloodyCamellia:** I don't know when you're asleep, you're somehow almost always the first reviewer, hehe. Anyway, sorry for 'misleading' you that any intimacy would not occur soon, hehe. In my defense, it's kind of a spur-in-the-moment kind of kiss, so… yeah, I still hope that it's not too soon. I forgot whether I've said this to you or not, perhaps I did, but I'm going to say it again. You actually analyze this story more than I do, and sometimes I feel like…your review makes this story sounds better when the story itself is actually not at that level yet, haha. Oooh, I've always loved cliffhanger in my stories, I even think I've been too nice to my readers in this one, haha, usually I'm crueler XD. And I smiled at the way you analyze my personality, hehe. I admit that maybe WPBF's chapter length is not that long at the moment, but believe me when I say I am super ineffective in writing a story, I often use unnecessary words, and I did have a fanfic (not in ) that has 700 pages. This story won't be that long though, ofc.

 **Mika60:** Thank you for letting me know this! I'm glad if people still read it. And I always feel like I want to bang my head to the wall in blissful disbelief when people comment on the characterization part (not always, but in this story, characterization is what makes me pull my hair the hardest, so… yeah). All in all, if this story is enjoyable enough, I'm really thankful.

 **GRadha5:** Thank you! And I'm glad that you read it! You've really made my day when I read your review!

 **Guest #1:** Hehehe, thanks and glad if we can share the same view! Fluffy? I was aiming for more angst actually, perhaps I should be more wicked in this story? *evil laughter

 **RhyssaFireheart:** This comment makes me relieved. Tbh, in my observation, readers in _tend_ (not always) to appreciate more fast-paced and dynamic story, and I know that it is not what WPBF could offer, so I'm glad if you can still enjoy the story with its current pacing. And gyaa, you touched base on the character development, and it means even more to me. Thanks a lot!

 **Guest #2:** Hehehe, they did! Thanks for waiting! I still have some rather intimate scenes in the future and I hope you can enjoy that too. Thanks for forgiving me not to update this sooner (assume you were also the one who commented on my other Kamusoyo oneshot?), hehe, here goes the chapter! Okikagu…I'm their trash shipper as well. To the extent that it is acceptable, I'd include their moments again.

 **Guest #3:** Then I'm glad you decided to post review on this one ^^ That's an honor, so thank you! This world needs to be contained more with the poison that Kamusoyo is, I'm really hoping more fanfic writers would be lured to write this ship, so far I only know 3 writers write them : ( Thanks for the concern as well, and yes, your review did bring a smile to my face!

 **naturalpermhead:** ah hello! Happy reading then, and I hope you can enjoy it ^^

 **kagvra-hime:** whew, you reviewed on all the three chapters, I'll try to address them all here. Yes, they did! I'm so thankful for the encouragement. On Soyo's characterization, you're right, her lack of screentime in Gintama manga now actually is "advantageous" for me to have the liberty to tweak her in accordance to my rendition of the change that occurred to her post Shogun Assassination Arc. I do hope Sorachi will bring her back again though. Oh, thanks for paying attention to the details of the other characters interaction beside Kamusoyo. While Abuto is not exactly my fav character, but I always enjoy writing him, don't know why. Okita-Kamui will have more moments in this fic, hehe. If I were not a het!shipper, OkiKamu would definitely be my main gintama ship. Ahahha, yeaa, Kamui really should learn some manners, really. I think it's plausible that he won't bother with names even when he's being nicely treated by Soyo, so… yeah. Hehehe, glad if you can enjoy the overdue romance part of this fic. Hopefully, onwards there will be more, though I'd still try to tone them down and put more plot/general issues into this fic. The sober part? Here goes…

* * *

 **What Pumps the Blood (Faster)**

 _ **Chapter 13 – Momentum**_

* * *

The thing was, even Soyo never found answers in him.

She thought that it was reciprocal. They were connected not because they found any solution in each other. They were connected simply by the same understanding that when they were together, in between the talks, in between the stares, in between the simplest touches, there was nothing but confusion, and that they only lost themselves to each other.

It was a doomed connection indeed.

Kamui snaked his arms to her back and with the littlest force he needed, he pushed her body closer to him. The need to feel her warm body close and closer to him became more urgent. Her thick kimono hid her curves, and not that she had many to offer, but when her entire front body was pressed tightly to his, the urge was not satiated. He wanted more. He needed more.

So he trailed his left hand to the back of her neck, his palm burned when they came to contact with her warm neck. He bended her back lower; his right hand firmly held her back and supported her position. It was out of instinct that he bit her lower lips, and it was out of equal drive that she parted her lips and allowed his tongue to enter her.

There was nothing but suffocation that she could feel. Breathing was hard, but breaking his kiss was somewhat even harder. She thought that he could literally kill her by cutting all this oxygen from her, but she felt like she would die even more if this moment, if this intoxicating connection was broken. It became a need; and she did not want to think as much as she did not want this to end. Her arms reached out to the back of his head; her fingers intertwined themselves in his orange-colored locks –a silent approval and a silent demand for him to ruin her more.

It was crazy that her simplest touch could make him want more and he had never felt the desire to corrupt someone as strong as he felt then. His lips left hers, but never got too far. He trailed kisses to her jaw and soon, lower to the neck that he had nearly crushed so many times in the past. The skin on her neck was just as hot as her lips and he couldn't help it. He drew his tongue out and licked her, sucked her there.

Soyo softly moaned and the sound of her voice alone was enough to ache something down there.

"Kamui-san…" she breathily murmured when he sucked her on the point of her pulse where her blood ran the fastest. Her saying his name in such a needy tone did nothing to put the fire down and he lost it more altogether. He needed more. He wanted to taste her more. He had to –

"I don't normally interfere in this kind of thing, but this time I regretfully _have_ to."

Snapping their eyes open at the same time, Kamui drew his body away just at the same second Soyo pushed him off her. When Kamui straightened his gaze to look up at the interrupting person, the tip of that man's sword was already pointed to his throat.

"What in the world do you think you're doing to Hime-sama?"

"Okita-san!" Soyo shrieked. Of all people, of all time, of all occasion, it would have never crossed her mind that Okita Sougo would be the one to witness how she was passionately making out with a man who not only was his rival but also the one who attempted to kill her so many times in the past. "It's not –"

"And you, Hime-sama," Okita interrupted her speech without averting his gaze from the ex. Harusame pirate. "Call me outdated but I believe that's not the way a princess should be dressed."

Aghast of his remark, Soyo glanced down to look at herself and groaned. She did not even realize that Kamui had pulled the collar of her kimono down to the point where her left shoulder was exposed. With face burning red in embarrassment, Soyo quickly fixed the collar of her kimono and silently stared at the pavements below her –not wanting to meet Okita Sougo's eyes.

In the midst of the most awkward silence, it was Kamui who broke it.

Scratching the back of his head and grinning casually, he remarked, "Nothing groundbreaking. Perhaps I just happened to be a bit too drunk and this brat just happened to be the only woman next to me at the wrong time. It's nothing you should worry about." Unaffected by the edge of the sword that could slit his throat any second, Kamui lightly used his finger to get it off the vicinity of his throat.

Okita allowed his sword to be swayed, but he still held it out to him. "You're so eager for a fight, aren't you? I don't mind if we do it here, Villain."

It felt like a sudden punch to Soyo's gut –the statement. Soyo had tried all means to prevent the fight from occurring between the two; it wouldn't have come to her mind that she herself would be one of the triggers of the soon-to-be fight. She knew that she was not the _cause_ per se; these two men would fight each other with or without her. The fact that both men could (and probably would) use her as the justifying reason of their fight dreaded her.

At that time, Okita was the closest to use that as a reason, so the dark-haired girl decided to persuade her bodyguard as a matter of priority. "Okita-san…" she began, her cautious tone hid the actual fear; like one trying to convince a mentally-disturbed man not to kill himself. "Okita-san, listen. I hate to say it, but Kamui-san is right. I am at fault as well. I was drunk and I really wasn't myself and –"

"Brat, you stay out of this," Kamui warned; the crazy glint on his eyes returned as he readied himself into a fighting position.

"Yes, Hime-sama, you stay out of this," Okita confirmed as he clenched his grip around the hilt of his sword tighter.

Soyo clenched her fist and her face was contorted in a regretful exhaustion. _A woman's opinion_ , she admitted half-heartedly, _seemed to still be a second-rate advice to be taken by men._ Carefully making her move to inch closer to Okita (who, while at the present moment was as deadly and bloodthirsty as Kamui, was at least once devoted to the Tokugawa family, and as such was _supposed_ to respect her words more), and taking note that none of the men were making any move ( _but they're waiting for the right opportunity to strike_ , Soyo understood) Soyo slowly pulled the hem of Okita's red Japanese-styled shirt. "Okita-san," Soyo still attempted to persuade him. "You are to take me to somewhere safe. Your priority is not to fight him. And this is an order."

Okita chuckled sourly. And for the first time since he found the two least likely people to be in the most unlikely situation, he averted his gaze to stare at the former princess. "How could you do this to me, Hime-sama?"

The way Okita stared at her stunned Soyo. It was a look of defeated disbelief, and a sense of betrayed expression –the simplest kind of stare that effectively clenched Soyo's heart. She knew and she would always regard Okita Sogo much, much more than a mere bodyguard, or a policeman, or her brother's loyal guard. He was one of her dearest friends, and the way he looked at her, made Soyo feel embarrassed to look at him. It was as if she had failed being a friend to him.

"You're asking, no, ordering me not to fight him while he gets all the approvals to do the fighting? Is it because he's the villain he always has the privilege to do that? That's a bit cruel of you and unfair for me, isn't it?" Okita said with the faintest hint of a disappointed smile.

And it broke her heart more than it might sadden him. "Okita-san, what I meant was –"

"Hime-sama," Okita announced, breaking the eye contact and pushing her to his behind as the samurai focused his attention to the pirate. "You might also want to close your eyes because there will be a head rolling and you might not like the sight."

Kamui, who had decided not to steal the start for the pure amusement of seeing the two silently had an argument, also joined the conversation. "Brat, I think you should keep your eyes open to see how I will make your favorite bodyguard's head rolling down instead."

It did not work, Soyo realized dreadfully. None of her words mattered, nothing mattered so long that she was still weak, and now she would have to witness how the two of them fight and –

"Stop it, you two!" she screamed when both leaped from their positions to each other. "Stop!"

…

They stopped.

Not by her words, never by the words of a weak girl like her.

Power. Only those with strength could stop two demons from fighting each other. Certainly an element Soyo did not possess.

"Abuto!" Kamui roared angrily when the older man came up from behind him and firmly held his captain's shoulders back. It was not the kind of grasp that Kamui would not be able to break, Abuto knew the risk. In fact, Abuto was surprised his captain still allowed him to live that second.

"Oi, China, you wish to die?" Okita said in a dead-panned voice, though voice could not hide the irritated clench he had around the hilt of his sword. Kagura also stood behind Okita as she barred his neck with her umbrella horizontally extended from his behind.

"None of you fight today," Kagura declared sternly. "What the hell do you think you're doing?! Saving gorilla is not our only goal! If you get swayed and die and all of our efforts to attack the Hitotsubashi crumbles, I'm going to kill you myself!" Kagura screeched, not realizing that hypothetically if that was the case, Okita Sougo would have been dead anyway.

Before Okita could make another remark to that, Kagura pulled his collar and threw the unsuspecting Shinsengumi away. Soyo caught him and stopped it before Okita could be pushed even farther. Kagura only glanced briefly behind him but she then pointed her umbrella to her own brother.

"And _you_ , idiot brother," Kagura hissed. "This is important to us. And I don't like to admit it, but that tax-eater asshole is our important battle force. You are not allowed to fight him so long that we are still in our battle."

Kamui glared at his sister dangerously. "As if I care with your earthlings little coup-d'etat game –"

"Well, _I care,_ " Kagura stressed out. "And you _promised_. You promised to our parents that –"

"Fine," Kamui interrupted as he shoved Abuto off him. Dusting himself off, he smiled in ire to his little sister. "I'd accept that this one time. I probably am too drunk to remember this fight and I don't want such important fight to just be a fleeting one," he stated. "I really don't care with your earthling revolt, Sister. And believe me, my patience is thinning and I will soon not even care if I break that silly promise, so _don't_ bring that up anymore."

"Captain –"

"You too, Abuto," Kamui said as he patted the older man's shoulders, but his action was anything but harmless. "If you guys are testing my patience this way all the time, I really wouldn't mind losing a sister and my most loyal subordinate. The Yato Clan can perish for all I care," he threatened before he jumped off to the roof.

The sky whose sun had not risen covered his figure as he disappeared.

* * *

Okita did not tell Kagura or the others about what he saw.

Soyo derived this conclusion because Kagura did not question anything to her the next day, once everyone was sober enough to resume their daily works (and Soyo's and Kagura's daily works involved telling Shinpachi that he missed a lot of spots when cleaning Yorozuya, while the two girls were watching the television idly). Kagura had not fully returned to her younger much more hyperactive self, but Soyo bet that the girl would express her strongest disapproval if she ever found out that her best friend was making out with her brother.

Abuto, however, was a different case.

"Did something happen between you and Captain?" the sandy-haired man asked when both of them were sitting by the Yorozuya balcony –watching the daily routine where Kagura and Shinpachi again quarreled on who should be Yorozuya's successor.

Soyo knew that Abuto (somehow) knew. Still, she feigned innocence. "What do you mean?"

"That celebratory night, I saw you left with him."

"…And?" Soyo tested.

"Well I don't know what happened. But I have always had this feeling that you and Captain are actually meeting up quite often."

"By chance," Soyo quickly responded. "I just wanted to thank him and we drank together."

Abuto cast a side glance that indicated that he did not believe that was the only thing that happened. The thing that Soyo liked about Abuto was that despite how sharp his intuition and observation was, he did not actually pursue things that one did not want to discuss –no matter how attention-demanding was it. Perhaps it was the perk of following one troublesome man all the time: Abuto's tolerance got into a Buddha-like level.

Abuto, however, a typical uncle, would always express his concern –despite not talking it out loud.

"I don't feel I need to worry for a level-headed girl like you, but I sincerely hope you know what you're doing."

Smiling, Soyo responded, "Don't worry. I do." She was not as sure as she sounded, and Abuto detected this. Nevertheless still, Abuto did not question the doubt further.

* * *

Soyo managed to escape Abuto because that late afternoon it was her turn to guard Tae Shimura again. After packing up the necessities that Tae would need, Soyo left Yorozuya to go to the hospital.

It was getting hard to wander around at the streets of Edo –foremost when the Bakufu had just been humiliated by their failed attempt to fish more rebels from their plan of executing Kondo. Through her brothers' loyal followers, she had spread rumors that the Shinsengumi and Joui patriots had escaped to Nara again, but that still did not lower the amount of forces Hitotsubashi had stationed in Edo. Soyo drew her straw hat lower as she passed the patrolling guards. Going to the hospital had now become such a heart-pacing activity, and Soyo exhaled a relieved sigh once she reached the hospital wing where Tae Shimura was treated.

One glance to the inside of the room told her that Tae had a visitor.

"Let them be," a voice behind her said, not realizing that Soyo had no intention to interrupt anyway. "We're going to evacuate Kondo-san to Hakone in a few days and this might be his last chance to see big sis in a while."

"Okita-san."

"And besides," Okita added as he uncrossed the arms before his chest and approached the girl. "While I don't particularly care for this kind of things, I do think you owe me a long explanation, Hime-sama."

* * *

"We were drunk," Soyo stated first thing first once she and Okita found a place to talk in the hospital's park.

"You hold your liqueur very well, Hime-sama. I don't think that's a valid reason."

"I really drank a lot that night," Soyo said, and she knew that this was not a lie. She was drunk, she must have been, because there was no other reason why she would want to be physically intimate with a psychopath who wanted her dead several times in the past. "And it was a mistake. We were just getting carried away by the situation, and it certainly won't happen again."

"You're supposed to be on the sadist line," Okita reminded. "You won't hurt yourself by getting involved with a man who took part in the attempt to kill your brother."

Soyo's gaze hardened at the mention of her brother. Okita was right. Not that she needed any reminder because if she had been sober, she wouldn't have even thought about being around Kamui voluntarily. "Of course," she declared. "It was just a mistake, Okita-san. I wouldn't have anything to do with him if I were in my right mind," she insisted and sighed. "Could you let this one pass? I swear it was just a mistake."

"Well, not that I have any control about your decision or your choice of a husband –"

"I told you that I was not in my right mind," Soyo urged. "But even if I was drunk again, I wouldn't even go that far to wanting to be wedded to him," she expressed with a frown –morbid at the idea herself.

Okita deliberated before he shrugged. "And while I respect you more than you think I do, Hime-sama, next time, please don't interfere in our fight."

If she had not felt so guilty to Okita, Soyo would have groaned there and then. It was stressing enough that she had to persuade Kamui not to fight Okita, now she had to take it to the next level by ensuring Okita would also not fight Kamui. "You can't let yourself be distracted by that thought when we are still fighting against –"

"I know. I don't mean now, but in the future… even you can't stop me from fighting him. Our fight is inevitable."

Soyo laughed humorlessly. "You two must have been brothers in your past lives," she remarked at how similar their ways of thinking were. Closing her eyes for a while, Soyo then declared, "That request is not granted. No matter how hard you two persist, I will also persist that you two must not kill each other."

"Hime-sama, whom I fight is not your –"

"How do you think Kagura will feel?"

Okita flinched for a second, but he regained his composure quickly a second later. "I don't care what that boring China girl will feel."

"I know for sure that you do care," Soyo pressed. "But this time I'm not going to lecture you on how you two should be honest with your feelings. Even that aside, that still doesn't change the fact that Kagura is involved, and I swear, Okita-san, I would not allow any of you hurt Kagura more than this."

"…As expected of our Hime-sama," Okita chuckled. "This is supposed to be me lecturing you, but you turn it the other way around."

Soyo softened at the remark and none of them said any word for a while after. Both of them stared at the rare peaceful scenery of the hospital; leaving the subject off the spoken conversation, but never off their minds.

"…You're still going to fight him at the end of the day, aren't you?" Soyo correctly stated after a while.

Okita only smiled, and since they both knew it was a moot point, they left the conclusion there and then.

* * *

 **To be Continued**

* * *

A/n: Toning it down again...

And... shameless promotion, but if you'd like to read my AU rendition of Kamusoyo, I have also posted an AU Kamusoyo one-shot, titled " **Young Rusts** ". The link is available at my profile page, if you want to try reading it. Thanks!


	14. Craziest Friends

**A/n:** Due to, ahem, a certain someone (I'm looking at you BloodyCamellia haha), I will now respond to reviews in private, unless for those who make anonymous reviews (if any). Personally I like responding in one-go more, but I guess this approach will be better now.

Anyway, you might not want to hear that, but here goes the story.

* * *

 **What Pumps the Blood (Faster)**

 _ **Chapter 14 – Craziest Friends**_

* * *

Soyo might have been able to (temporarily) convince people that what happened between her and Kamui that night was something that should be ignored, but when she was actually alone, it actually became a harder case.

A week and more had passed since that night, but no matter how many times she had argued herself otherwise, her persistent mental argument only proved one thing: this was not a matter that she could easily shrug off.

It was a good thing that Kagura was a very heavy sleeper, or else, the Yato girl would have heard when her best friend was unable to sleep in the middle of the night –groaning to herself for the mess that she had tangled herself into.

It was only something physical, Soyo convinced herself. She was not a child anymore and well… the urge to be intimate with a man was something natural. It was unnatural of course for having that kind of urge with a man like Kamui with all the unpleasant history they shared. This was where Soyo would always take it back to the alcohol-involved argument –which started to be a rather redundant notion. She also took Kamui's consideration that it just happened to be…well, the fleeting moment of desire and they just happened to feel it at the same time and when they were next to each other.

But every time the rational voice had a briefest chance of winning herself in this night thoughts, the body remembered what was not supposed to be remembered ( _she actually liked the way he was persistent in everything; when he pushed her lower, when his tongue explored the inside of her mouth, when his hand was making some sensual gesture on her back –_ )

Soyo actually shrieked at the thought out loud that night.

"Soyo-chan?!" Kagura jolted awake; sleep was on her eyes but her alarmed self was ready to help Soyo. "What happened?! Are you alright?!"

"I-I'm fine," Soyo assured with her hand on her lips as if she wanted to prevent herself from puking out of her own thoughts. "I just had a nightmare. Don't mind me, Kagura-chan. Go back to sleep –"

Kagura lit the bed lamp and stared at Soyo. "Do you have a fever?! Your face is so red!"

Still covering her lips with her hand, Soyo gestured Kagura to return back to bed. "I'm fine, _really_ ," she insisted. "Please go back to sleep. You have to visit Tae Nee-san early tomorrow, right?"

"Ah… yes," Kagura slowly agreed when Soyo pushed her back to the bed. "But you're sure you're alright?"

"I'm sure. Now go to sleep. _Please_."

If Kagura was quite curious about Soyo's strong demand for her to go back to sleep, Kagura let it pass because indeed, she was sleepy as hell.

* * *

Shinpachi was the one who told her the news of Tsukuyo's return to Edo. The term was not particularly correct though, as Tsukuyo was scheduled to only be in Edo for less than a week. Soyo had been in the hospital when Tsukuyo visited Kagura and Shinpachi at the Yorozuya, so when the former princess wished to meet the Hyakka leader, she had to do it following the latter's schedule and at her preferred place.

Soyo thought that Yoshiwara would be the last city in Edo that could perish.

"It's admirable," Soyo said as she took a sip of the tea Tsukuyo served. "This city," she said as she gazed out of the window of the still underground town.

Tsukuyo poured tea to herself before she joined Soyo in her staring session. "We have the mentality of cockroaches," she said with a small smile to herself. "No matter how many times we are being stepped on, we will continue to live." Soyo's ears perked up at the secretive yet bold, girlish talk from the outside of the window. Three Yoshiwara ladies were pulling a samurai into one of the buildings next to the one where Soyo and Tsukuyo rested.

The mobilization of the Yoshiwara women to the temples which maintained their allegiance to Shigeshige a couple of months prior had been effective, but home truly was where the hearts belonged. Soyo had heard that some groups of Yoshiwara ladies were not able to adapt well to the lives at the temples and had secretly paved their ways back to Edo, to the burnt city of Yoshiwara. Soyo had heard this earlier, but the situation with Kondo had made it hard for her to prioritize her mind on it. When she came to Yoshiwara to visit Tsukuyo (who, as per Hinowa's instruction, was to check on the conditions of the Yoshiwara ladies who chose to return to Yoshiwara), Soyo had expected to see at maximum two dozens of girls.

It amazed her how more than fifty Yoshiwara women decided to return and rebuild their establishment again. They made use of buildings and houses which took the least damage from the fire and made shift everything they could to present a much downgraded version of the once most famous men's heaven.

"It's not that we are not grateful for your and the others' help, Hime-sama," said Tsukuyo as she bowed to the younger girl. "But these women, as sad as it sounds, know no other way to live other than selling their bodies. They surely cannot taint the temples and the monks' reputation by opening up this service in the temples, so… some of them choose to return here."

Soyo insisted that Tsukuyo lift her head up (to any other girls or persons, Soyo secretly took delight in their exaggerated obedience, but there was something about Tsukuyo that always made it hard for Soyo to be sadistic around her). "Aren't you afraid that the government will take note on this? Yoshiwara may not possess direct threat to the government, but you all nearly became trading commodities."

"I was also worried," admitted Tsukuyo. "But for the last three days that I observe the situation around here, I think…for the time being the situation down here is under control. It's not as if the Bakufu can transport us anywhere when Edo Terminal is still in ruins. And I hate to say this, but the issue with Kondo has successfully shifted the focus from us."

"True," Soyo agreed. "But still, eventually they will be able to sniff the activities in this underground city."

"The girls told me that they select the customers very carefully," Tsukuyo said with a smile. "Yoshiwara women had the best intuition when it came to reading men. The men they lured here are men that they knew wouldn't spill the secret if they wanted better service."

Soyo sighed. "We will never know –"

"True, but Hime-sama, please allow them to stay here," Tsukuyo said, again with the bowing. "There are less than a hundred women who decided to return to Yoshiwara. This is the only thing that could be done by those who could not adapt with the new lives. I know it's not fair to ask you not to condone prostitution but –"

"Tsukuyo-san, lift your head," the former princess demanded. "And besides, it's not as if I have any authority to tell people where they should live. I just want you all to be careful."

"We will," Tsukuyo promised. "I will assign my most capable Hyakka colleagues to guard Yoshiwara. And I will personally try to visit this town as much as I could."

Putting a small smile, Soyo guessed, "You truly are Hinowa-san's best messenger and guardian, aren't you?" And the thought of Hinowa made Soyo relax a bit. Hinowa's policy might have been slightly eccentric at times, but Soyo had rarely seen anyone who could lead better Hinowa. If anything, the only woman whose political judgment Soyo trusted very much would be Hinowa. And Hinowa must have weighed the situations here. With that as an assurance, Soyo decided to drop the business talk. "So, Tsukuyo-san, how have you been?"

* * *

With Tsukuyo's visit to Edo being a very short one, and the fact that Tsukuyo could not freely roam around Kabuki-cho or Edo when she had to focus her attention to Yoshiwara during her visit, Kagura and Soyo decided that they should be the one visiting her, when either of them was not taking watch of Tae Shimura. Besides, the situation for the past few days had been rather stale: Joui Patriots had mobilized Kondo to Hakone. The main Shinsengumi personnel were also to accompany the evacuation mission, although Okita told her that he and Yamazaki would return to Edo soon, while Hijikata, Kondo and Katsura were to arrange the strategy at the quietness of Hakone.

"So you're leaving tonight?" Soyo asked Tsukuyo after Kagura took her first leave from Yoshiwara (after Sadaharu came telling her that there was yet another thug fights in Kabuki-cho that Gura-san would need to take care of).

"I'll probably visit again in two months or so," replied Tsukuyo as she inhaled tobacco from her pipe. "The situation here in Yoshiwara is actually much more controlled than what Hinowa and I thought. I'd still have to go visit the other Yoshiwara girls' installments throughout Japan though, so…" she trailed, exhaling a sigh.

"I'm sure Hinowa-san will not mind if you take a break," Soyo pointed out. "Though it's been five years, none of us can make you less workaholic than you've been."

"I don't feel like I'm working," defended Tsukuyo.

"Spoken like a true workaholic," noted Soyo.

Smiling secretly to herself, Tsukuyo closed her eyes and leaned on the wall behind her. "It's true. When we're all together, it doesn't feel like working. Gintoki –"

The hesitation that remained even after years proved that old scar remained. Time might have eased the pain, but truth was, nobody truly forgot the legacy that the white-haired samurai left. Diverting her attention to pouring tea for Tsukuyo (though not from the subject), Soyo asked, "Have you ever thought of settling down yourself?"

With pipe in her mouth and arms crossed in front of her chest, Tsukuyo mumbled, "I don't need to. I swear my lifetime loyalty to Hinowa."

"With this viewpoint, I wouldn't be surprised if Souta gets married before you," Soyo pointed out as she sipped her tea. "Women had it more difficult, you know. We will not stay young and beautiful forever."

"I don't care for all those things."

"The wrinkles around your eyes are getting visible," Soyo lied; amused when Tsukuyo, despite her ignorant attitude, still had the slightest panic upon her statement. "Kidding. You are still as young and beautiful as ever, Tsukuyo-san. And I agree that women are not gifted only with youth and beauty, but…" she shrugged. "There's no harm in getting married."

"It's a hinder to my lifetime mission."

Soyo tilted her head and stared at Tsukuyo, who was still casually inhaling smoke from her pipe. Blinking innocently, Soyo asked, "Tsukuyo-san, are you a virgin?"

Panicked coughs were heard in the room when Tsukuyo was choked with her own cigarette's smokes. Coughing several times until her own face reddened, Tsukuyo drew a hand to cover her coughs. "W-what?! H-Hime-sama, t-that's not supposed to be something that a girl like you should… I might be a vir, wait, H-Hime-sama, d-don't tell me that you've done…"

Grinning, Soyo replied, "What do you think?"

Soyo had not (the night with Kamui was the only actual intimacy she had with a man, but that didn't mean she was as clueless as Kagura in that department), but for the purpose of seeing that rare panicked face, she delayed the answer longer. Whoever said she could not be sadistic to Tsukuyo? Nah, Soyo must have been lying to herself when she claimed that.

"Hime-sama!" Tsukuyo screeched. "W-well, not that it's my problem, b-but I thought y-you would…" Tsukuyo drew a long breath to calm herself down. "…You grow up too fast for girls your age, Hime-sama," Tsukuyo noted.

Soyo laughed light-heartedly. "All women in the Tokugawa household are expected to be. My aunt got married when she was still thirteen. I had my first sex education when I was seven. To be honest, I think the Tokugawa's knowledge of marriage and sex is comparable to Yoshiwara women," she paused to smile. "After all, that's the only use of a girl born in the royalty lineage. We are only tools for political marriage."

Tsukuyo softened at the statement. "… But you're free now."

"I know," she stated. It was a half lie. The fact that she was cut from the monarchy line might have freed her from some things, but not from the other things.

* * *

Finding yet another angle to attack Tsukuyo with had made Soyo's stay in Yoshiwara that night ran a little later. It was actually fascinating that Tsukuyo, despite her background of calling a red-light district her home, was actually only a tad bit better than Kagura in that sector. Only when Tsukuyo finally announced that it was getting late and that she had to begin packing to return to Hinowa again that Soyo took pity of the girl and bid her farewell.

Artificial lightings and street lampions were Yoshiwara's eternal source of light, Soyo noted when she walked out of Tsukuyo's residence. Now that it was officially night time, Yoshiwara, though ruined in most parts and populated by only approximately fifty courtesans, truly came to life then and there. Prostitution might not have been morally-justified, but the fact that Yoshiwara ladies truly tried all their best to sell dreams (however twisted that was) made Soyo appreciated the place a bit more.

She walked to the left, intending to go to the stairs that would take her back up to the surface of Yoshiwara. Women's flirtatious coy voices could be heard from both sides of the road she was walking, occasionally accompanied by men's defeated, helpless (yet happy) laughter. Male visitors in Yoshiwara could be divided into two types: those who would not need any persuasion to enter a brothel, and those who pretended to not be swayed by the women and resisted (though silently enjoying the feel of women's clinging arms).

"Ah, come on, just another hour! Please?" requested a woman who obviously was pitching her voice higher than her usual tone.

"We really love your company! It's not everyday we can get a handsome customer like you," said another woman with a fake pout.

Soyo's wide straw hat only enabled her to see the figures slightly: three women in front of another house trying to pull one man (who obviously belonged to the second category of Yoshiwara's male visitors). Walking steadily, Soyo passed the group, just when the man spoke.

"Sorry, ladies! But I really kind of running out of money and I'd rather buy foods than another hour with you."

Soyo halted her steps.

"Ah, Kamui-dono!" said the third girl, affirming the suspicion that Soyo had. "For you it's free, really! Don't be so cold to us!"

Bowing her head down and pulling her straw hat with her, Soyo intended to walk pass the commotion and escape quietly. Her little steps were paced, and she would have been able to get away from the person she least wanted to meet –

But plan remained plan. Especially when it involved him –the only person who could easily ruin everything that Soyo had calculated perfectly in her mind.

Feeling a strong grip around her upper arm that forced her to stop her walk, Soyo then felt herself being slightly pulled back so that she stumbled and fell onto someone. She felt her straw hat was being lifted up slightly, and she saw that: the happy grin that could belong to one man only. Winking to her as a request for a collaboration, Kamui drew Soyo closer to him as he announced to the three expectant-looking Yoshiwara women.

"My apology, ladies! But I have an appointment with my very own personal courtesan tonight!" Kamui declared happily as he dragged Soyo away from the site, leaving the three women behind them wailed in disappointment.

* * *

The surprise on the turns of events remained even after they climbed up to the surface of Yoshiwara. Soyo said nothing as the braided-haired man continued to hold her right arm as they walked through the night streets of Edo. The way he was holding her made her feel like she was some misguided cattle and it was at the thought that she finally said the words that she should have said a while ago.

"…Let go."

Kamui easily did and Soyo held her arm on the place where he touched it as if she had been stabbed by poisonous needle there.

They both stopped walking.

The wind blew; carrying the scent of the river along with it. Several lights from the boats that went through the river were additional indication of where they were: the riverside of Edo, where darkness engulfed the place and nothing much aside from ships' lamps that could serve as the source of lighting.

Soyo could still see Kamui clearly though –his silhouette was getting more familiar and the thought that she was already able to discern his figure with such minimal lighting made Soyo groaned. She did not like to admit it, but fate seemed to give them both plenty of meeting occasions.

Which, Soyo thought, would actually be no more than immaterial encounters, if he were to ignore her and not initiate any contact with her.

Tired of the way Kamui made these encounters possible for them, Soyo turned her back to him and asked him, "Why did you do that?"

Kamui swirled his umbrella out of reflex and asked back. "Did what? Oh, down there in Yoshiwara?" he asked as he followed her walking closer to the river. She fastened her steps away from him, and he did the exact opposite of getting closer to her. When she finally gave up trying to get away from him and stopped in front of the river, Kamui sat down and muttered, "Don't be stingy. It's just the easiest favor you could give me after all the help I gave you."

Soyo turned her face to him suddenly; a look of utter disbelief was plastered on her face. She wanted to remind him that despite the _rare_ occasions where she was genuinely grateful of his actions, the instances where Kamui tried to kill her definitely still outweigh those helpful deeds. When she faced him and was about to say these things to him, she found out that he was looking up at her; his expression was calm in an almost challenging manner.

She turned her face away. There was always something about his face that made her unable to gaze at him for a long period of time. "… You could have escaped that situation on your own. You didn't need to use me for that purpose."

"You mean you wanted me to smash those women's heads so that I could get away from them? That's easy of course –" he rolled his eyes when she looked back at him again, mortified expression on her face. "But it's always amusing to see the way you react around me, so I choose you as an alternative."

Soyo groaned. Coincidence was supposed to remain as coincidence if one opted for it. The fact that she coincidentally met him in Yoshiwara did not give him reason to actually greet her and make herself involved with him again, because truly, this was getting tiring. "Can you stop playing around with me?"

Kamui blinked. "Am I playing around with you?" he chuckled as he sat down on the grass. "Don't get too full of yourself, brat. You might be amusing at times, but you're not _that_ amusing."

Soyo maintained her gaze to the river and the passing boats distance away from them, but the corner of her eyes made the briefest glance to his side profile. He was already lying down on his back, hands crossed behind his head and his eyes were closed. His relaxed attitude was always worth to be envied upon. Soyo was nearly _always_ able to manipulate situations when she was with other people, but with him, it was always her who felt like she was being manipulated. Worse, she actually had a feeling that whenever Kamui messed up with her, it was always kind of effortless –like he had a natural talent of manipulating her. The fact that she was losing her cool around him when the man in question was _so_ nonchalant about it irked her.

"Well," Kamui spoke again with eyes still closed. His hand, however made a shooing movement. "Now that I don't need your help anymore, you can go."

…

Soyo tried to be calm, really. But the fact that this man always tested her patience (without actually trying) was making it hard for her to remain calm. Staring down at him with her mouth gaping open in disbelief, she felt like she could allow Okita-san to butcher this man at times. And the way he acted around her was getting puzzling. He was the one who dragged her around, then followed her down here, and now that he seemed to have found a comfortable place to sleep, he dismissed her easily as if he did not need her.

 _Not_ that she wanted to be needed by him, but still, it was annoying to be treated in such bipolar manners.

Plus, something about his remark kind of burned her ego.

"You're still here?" Kamui genuinely asked when he flicked an eye open.

Soyo smiled tightly. "Well I apologize that I'm not the kind of women whose presence you'd want in vicinity."

"Hmm, I don't like women in general, so don't take it personally."

She scoffed. "It still seems that you go visit Yoshiwara on a routine basis. You even have your loyal fans there."

"Well, I do need my share of entertainment. Earth has so little to offer, with little availability of strong people. It gets boring and I have to resort to other source of entertainment at times."

Soyo gaped her mouth open at the implication and the silent confirmation that Kamui truly did go to Yoshiwara as a customer. Baffled at the thought, she pointed out to him, "You said yourself that women cannot quench your thirst. Yet at the end of the day, you're still the same as any other men."

"I don't lie. Women do nothing to quench my thirst but even I get bored sometimes and –" he paused. Opening both his eyes and getting up into a sitting position, he tilted his head and looked up at her. "And how is my sexual life any of your concern?"

Soyo felt her face burn. Stuttering at her outburst, she realized that she had made a fool of herself again in front of him. Gritting her teeth, Soyo swiftly turned around and muttered, "You're right. It's not my concern and –" her words were interrupted with her own yelp when the gravity was pulling her down.

And when her face hit the strong chest which was somewhat familiar, Soyo realized that it was not gravity that pulled her down; it was Kamui's arm, who reached out to her and brought her down with him.

With a playful smirk that was so vivid (and how could not, when his face was literally inches apart from hers?), Kamui asked, "Is that jealousy that I detect?"

Soyo pushed him off her. "You're imagining –"

Kamui did not let her take the upper hand. Twisting her body so that she was now laying on the grass with him hovering above her, he grinned innocently as he spoke words that were anything but innocent. "I don't mind if we finish what we did that night here. Doing it with a brat like you is not my usual preference, but perhaps this could be a fun experience, who knows?"

Soyo felt like she wanted to snap at him for being so insensitive. She thought that there would have been a silent, yet mutual understanding among them that what happened that night was never to be brought up again –not even to each other. "That night was a mistake, you knew it –"

"Yeah, a mistake because we didn't get to finish it," he tested, and tried to hide his own snicker when he saw her horrified, wide eyes. Smirking to himself, Kamui pointed out, "Don't play all saint, you said it yourself you're not one. And it was further evidenced by the way you kissed me that night and –"

Soyo shrieked. This was like those sleepless nights thinking of the encounters, but with much worse situation because the man was right in front of her eyes now. "I was drunk!"

He shrugged. "Doesn't change the fact that you were so eager when I tried to take your clothes off."

The vulgarity of his words and their position did nothing to calm herself. She felt like her blood was running faster inside her system, and if she had the power, she would have crawled out of his cage, but she could not.

Well, Soyo could actually. If her embarrassment had not clouded her better judgment, Soyo would have noticed that Kamui was actually no longer hovering above her. The man was actually only lying beside her, with the side of his head propped up against his left palm. He still secured his right hand on top of her stomach though, to prevent her from moving away. The girl was busy covering her face out of humiliation that she did not realize that Kamui was trying his best not to stifle a laugh. Biting his tongue so as to prevent himself from laughing and make everything more convincing, he teased her again.

"Did you touch yourself in your sleep all these nights thinking of me?"

Gritting her teeth and wanting the earth to swallow her (because there was _half_ truth in his statement –not that she touched herself, but she admitted she thought about him a little. Well, plenty of times), Soyo glared at the man. "I didn't," she stressed out. "I dislike you. I really hate you. I won't –"

"Well, sex doesn't have to involve feelings," he pointed out nonchalantly. "We may dislike each other but there's no denying that what we had that night was entirely physical and that we both are enjoying it?" he asked as his hand made a trail down to her kimono.

Her hand quickly reacted and she held his right hand firmly before he could reach her most private part. "…I'm not doing this with you."

"Ouch," he feigned hurt. "I may not find sex always fulfilling, but I can assure you I'm pretty good at it. Those Yoshiwara women could testify for me," Kamui said as, despite her strongest attempt of holding his hand, he tapped his fingers dangerously close on her lower area.

Soyo laughed nervously as her nails began to claw on his skin. "The more reason why I would not do it with you. You could have been infected by STDs for all I know."

Kamui found her remark to be funny rather than insulting. "I always wear protection. Or do you want me to go without condom?"

Horrified by his even more morbid statement, Soyo gripped his hand tighter, firmer.

He laughed at her action and casually shrugged. "Don't worry. We, Yato, are pretty immune to sickness. Only the weak ones can be bothered by a disease and…"

She nearly waited for a further inappropriate remark from him, but then one second, two second –it never came. Soyo blinked when she saw the change of expression on Kamui's face, and was secretly confused when he suddenly drew his hand off her stomach. Kamui rolled off her completely and laid flat on his back beside her, both his arms were folded and used as a pillow to rest his head on as he closed his eyes.

Soyo realized that the more she interacted with Kamui, the more she was losing her sense of danger. And while she was never an astonishingly bright woman, she took pride of her ratio-based actions. And she had none of that now.

She should have left, she really should have.

"Are you alright?" Soyo ended up asking.

Kamui laughed a little (and it sounded as dull as Soyo heard it). He smiled at her with no compassion or actual meaning at the slightest and replied cheerfully, "I'm fine! Worried about me?"

"…Worried for my life actually," Soyo murmured to herself tonelessly. It was always when he was like this, when the weight of his sinful existence seeped in and he masked it with an unpredictable façade, that she really had a roulette game to play. Sometimes Kamui was harmless when he was mad, sometimes he was harmful when he was happy.

Exhaling a sigh, Soyo cautiously got up into a sitting position and straightened her legs. Summer was getting into its final days, the cool night wind blew onto her face, carrying out the distinctive river scent. She shuddered lightly for the coolness the breeze carried.

"You and your contradiction, always," Kamui pointed out with a stretch-wide grin ( _icy smile that always looked so genuine, fucked up being who joked on the countdown to death_ ). "You're not running away despite your worry for your life because of what? Your interest in me?"

Perhaps it was. There was a sort of excitement in this game they secretly shared, the challenge they silently posed to each other. He filled her with a buzzing thrill of the uncertainty, of the guessing. In this silence, Soyo took the time to evaluate anything that she had said that might have been the cause of his sudden change of behavior. Everything she said were statements with basis, and he did not seem to be the type that would be offended if she claimed he might suffer sexual disease. Besides, if he really was offended, she would not have had the opportunity to inhale a single breath.

Soyo stared at the starless sky and closed her eyes, not particularly intending to remember anything. But she ended up recalling what the snippets of conversation she had with Kagura a long while ago.

"Is it about your mother?"

There were lines that were not supposed to be crossed. Even with Kagura, Soyo had been extremely careful in bringing up the topic about the woman whose name Kagura never really spoke of. The fact that Soyo brought the topic to someone who was a hundred times more dangerous than Kagura was certainly suicidal.

Her death was postponed because Kamui decided to counter her there and then.

"A weak woman like her is not my mother."

 _It is about his mother indeed_ , Soyo thought to herself. And now that the topic was laid in front of her eyes, Soyo did not particularly know where to bring these conversations to.

Soyo was not exactly a feminist. As a matter of fact, she had spent a major part of her life being raised that women should learn their places, and that she, prior to her brother's death and even despite all those childish rebellion to escape the palace and the tutoring, had accepted her fate and intended on living her life as that doll of a princess that would not be able to make a decision for her life. But then she met Kagura, then Nobume, then Tsukuyo, then Sacchan. Women of strength not only in terms of their muscles or combat skills, women of strength because they embraced their weakness and pursued what they wanted.

Kamui was not a typical megalomaniac, Soyo knew, but out of curiosity, she decided to test him.

"Is physical strength the only thing that determines one's strength?"

Kamui exhaled a sigh. "I know where you're trying to bring this to," he claimed, getting up from his sleeping position but still laying on his side; the side of his head was propped on his palm as he stared up at her. With eyes devoid of interest, he told her, "The answer to your question is of course, no. That white-haired samurai is a prime example of how he used his other strength to stand up and win against Housen, who technically surpassed his power by a mile. Strong people are people with will, people with resolution," he smiled sardonically. "You think only the good men are allowed to understand that?"

"No," Soyo calmly said as she stared at Kamui.

He smiled, as if having scored one against her. Now fully sitting up, he crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Physical strength is even out of the question. That woman did not even have the right to call herself a Yato. She was virtually even weaker than a normal earthling," he said as he tilted his head and stared at her –his turn to test her. "She couldn't even stop that baldy from leaving, she couldn't even speak for herself when the baldy's family opposed their marriage. She had no will, she had no self-esteem. Tell me, then, _Hime-sama,_ how would one call her strong in any way?"

"Because," Soyo spoke up, her eyes never left Kamui's. "Because you were afraid of her."

It was the answer that made him at loss of words. One second. Two second. On the third count, Kamui snorted and shook his head –still baffled that of all answers, this girl decided to say that he, _the strongest in the universe,_ was actually afraid of a woman who could not even properly lift a spoon to feed herself.

"That's absurd," he told her icily; clearly not liking her answer.

"Kagura-chan told me that your mother caught the illness before she married Umibouzu-san. For someone whose body was as fragile as her, she disregarded her own life and dared herself to give birth to the two of you," Soyo pointed out one thing that she learned from Kagura. "You said your mother had no will? To me, it sounded like the complete contrary."

"But saying _I_ was afraid of her is far too outstretched," Kamui stated; his eyes narrowed dangerously and Soyo would not be surprised if he decided to drown her in the river then and there.

"But you were," Soyo, again, being the suicidal-minded woman. "Kagura told me of how you were most afraid that your mother would discover you got into a fight and –"

"That doesn't mean I was afraid of her," Kamui interrupted, shaking his head. "That only means that I was afraid _for_ her and I was worried –"

He stopped himself there.

Biting his lips in irritation that he had spoken one thing that he did not even think of letting out, Kamui glared at Soyo, who, to his utmost annoyance, was smiling at him.

And that smile did not even disappear even when he had his hands around her neck not a second after.

Kamui scoffed as he stared down at her; he had not tightened his grip around her neck yet, but he knew that she also knew how he would not hesitate to squeeze it and end her life at that very moment.

And the fucking brat was still smiling.

He raised an eyebrow. "Are you so happy I would finally kill you?"

"No one will be happy with that," she said; taking note that he had not choked her hard enough to make her unable to speak. "But maybe I am twisted enough to value my pride more than my life sometimes."

"What pride?"

"My pride over my victory."

"You?" Kamui scoffed. "Your victory?"

"Not against you, of course," Soyo clarified. "It's a personal battle between my head and my instinct. My sense is telling me to believe that you still have it in you," she paused for a while before she slowly raised her hand and rested it on his left chest. "A heart."

He smirked and decided to play with her figurative way of speaking. "You know the best way to prove that I have no heart?" he asked to her; his angry face was already covered by his smiling face back. "By killing you here. That would be an absolute evidence that I am not the type who would be –"

Soyo's hand left his chest, but they slung themselves around him.

The clench around her neck weakened by surprise. Nobody had hugged Kamui before. Not the prostitutes, not his father (who never returned), not his sister (whom he spent his childhood quarrelling with most of the time), and not even his mother (whose arms were forever too weak to properly hug him). It felt weird, it felt foreign. He was not the slightest comfortable with this. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" he hissed.

"Another bet," she whispered, because she was the crazy bitch and her heart was beating loudly in fear at the prospect of her death, yet her blood was running faster at the prospect of this maddening thrill of a game. "I'm betting now that you won't kill me _even_ when I do this."

"Too bad girl, I'm already turned off, if that's where you're heading," Kamui joked, but nothing about the hand that was returning to her neck was a joke.

"I'm sure you can feel my rapid heartbeats right now," Soyo said slowly, talking about the way she pressed herself to him and the fact that a man whose sense was as keen as his would take note on how scared for her life she was. It did not help her position that her arms trembled as she embraced him. "I'm undoubtedly scared for my life at this moment. I'm debating as I speak which word would be my last."

( _But Witch, you and your corrupted mind were ecstatic_ )

That could very much be her last words, but something in him stopped him before he could snap her neck. Perhaps it was curiosity.

And just like her curiosity of him, _his_ curiosity of her was getting more dangerous day after day.

There was also her scent –the faintest scent of flower that was mild in comparison to the perfume the Yoshiwara women used. Or her temperature that helped warm him up in this early autumn season. Or maybe it was her form: so lithe, so thin, yet –like that night when they did what neither would have expected in a lifetime– surprisingly fit well with his.

Her trembles slowly ceased without Soyo realizing it.

And without Kamui realizing it, his hand had left her neck.

Perhaps it had been a while, and he just did not want to let her think that she had the advantage, so he pushed her body slightly away and stared at her. "I postpone my intention to kill you not because I'm admitting any of your point but because," he shrugged. After a defeated sigh, he admitted, "Because perhaps I'm a bit intrigued with you too and I want to know when again are you going to surprise me. So I'm keeping you around."

When he expected her to have that haughty look of victory, Soyo smiled in defeat instead. "You're surely not making it easy for me to win the bet, eh?"

"What do you mean?" he asked, because it was almost evident that he was letting her have the upper hand this time.

"I also bet myself that I won't be intrigued more by you," Soyo inhaled a deep breath and let it go. "Also another one where I bet I would not voluntarily meddle with you," Soyo shrugged. "I haven't lost my personal bet, but you surely are making it hard for me, Villain."

"Speak for yourself, Princess," Kamui chuckled. "No villain role is needed to corrupt an already corrupted princess like you," he said with a rather fond smile.

It must have felt somewhat genuine, and there was no longer cynic and challenges, because Soyo found herself smiling back. It was funny how this turmoil of emotions worked, sometimes he pumped her blood faster, but on the other time, he calmed her wicked blood down. Sometimes it was the other way around, but everytime, at the conclusion, Soyo realized that they always came down to this silent understanding by only staring at each other's eyes.

And everything felt conclusive, empty, and all the contradiction and all the understanding.

"Alright."

Soyo blinked when Kamui said that word that cut the silent connection and watched Kamui as he stretched his limbs, yawned –

–and dropped his head on her lap.

Soyo widened her eyes at the sudden weight on her lap, and the fact that it was Kamui who voluntarily chose to do it. "…What are you doing?"

Kamui clicked his tongue. "I'm trying to sleep," he said with a tone that seemed to say ' _duh_ '.

"Now?"

"All these confusing talks with you always tire me. So I need to sleep."

"…On my lap?"

"Yeah. Unless you bring a pillow."

"Of course I don't."

"Then just stay still and let me sleep on your lap."

Soyo sighed and rolled her eyes. "I bet you still haven't bothered finding out my name, have you?" she correctly guessed. What a feat. She had allowed herself be kissed, be nearly killed too many times already, be used as a pillow, by a man who did not find her name important enough to be known. How flattering.

Kamui laughed lightly. "I'll wait until you voluntarily tell me."

"Then I won't let you know," Soyo insisted.

"It's just names anyway," he said with his eyes closed already. "I probably feel more connected to you than to people whose names I was forced to remember, and shouldn't that matter more?"

Soyo did not have an answer to that. Not only because Kamui truly looked like he would appreciate a slumber, but also because as morbid as it was, there was truth in his words: the unlikely connection, that might matter something or might matter nothing, the way how not only her, but also him, had actually broken a lot of rules to be where they were now, and how despite all the contradiction and violated rules, they both voluntary chose to be there with each other at that very moment.

And that while a part of her was still afraid on the possibility of him killing her, she knew that she was not that afraid of breaking these rules of the society.

Huffing a sigh and staring at the vermillion hair on her lap, Soyo instinctively reached her fingers to touch his hair. It was softer than she had presumed, and at the back of her head, something was screaming that she should not be touching the hair of this villain. And she had no alcohol to blame this time.

"You're playing with my hair?" Kamui murmured sleepily and he could feel that Soyo's fingers left his hair in alarm. He sighed. What a pity. "Don't stop. While you're at it, could you unbraid my hair and brush it with your fingers? I always sleep with my hair loose."

Soyo bet that Kamui must have let that one slipped unconsciously as well. Because no way in hell would a killer like him said such a childish request in a somewhat spoiled tone. But her thin fingers did what he asked for still. She reached for the bottom of his braided tail, untied his hair, and with less hesitancy that she would have expected, Soyo began brushing his hair with her fingers.

And as if realizing it a second too late, Kamui asked with mumbling voice, "Your fingers would not break from doing that, would they?"

Soyo stopped combing his hair midway and she could sense that his alarm was returning.

"Were you afraid your mother's fingers would?"

"…Kind of," he admitted finally after a while.

And God forbid her from thinking this way of a murderer, but at that point, the man, no, the boy, looked nothing more than a child. The innocent queries, the truthful confessions…

Soyo stopped herself from the will to hug him again –because this time, she should have better control of herself.

Yet the child in him still demanded for an answer, and for that part, she owed him.

"Don't worry, they would not," Soyo assured him as she resumed brushing his hair. "So just relax and sleep."

Kamui chuckled helplessly, as if he had just realized what he had spoken and asked from her. And their position, their proximity, and how even after realizing all of this, he still could not find it within him to lift his head off her lap and end this moment. "This is crazy."

Soyo couldn't have agreed more. "Totally is," she said softly; her fingers were still brushing his hair.

* * *

 **To be Continued**

* * *

A/n: For those who are interested, I just uploaded a Kamusoyo mmv / accompanying video for this fanfic on youtube at: (type youtube address than put a slash then add the following: "watch?v=JpTIzryoOD0"). If the link does not work, then it's also available at my tumblr.

I'm trying to spread more kamusoyo love, although somehow I have a feeling that haters will be eager to target me if I get any more vocal in voicing my OTP obsession like this haha.


	15. Ghosts' Trails

**Guest #1** : Hi again! Thanks for reviewing. Are you a Gintsu shipper? Because I do remember you made a similar comment regarding Gintsu in my earlier chapter, hehe. There'll be other pairings mentioned in this story, so maybe Gintsu will have its parts. As to the conversations, actually, that's the only way I think I can make a relationship between Kamui and Soyo somewhat plausible. I always view them as the types that could bond up because they find some sort of 'same wavelength' through the exchange of thoughts.

 **Guest #2:** Hihihi, thank you for reading my story :)

 **Guest #3** (tallandhansome): I think it's review like this that I should keep in mind because it keeps reminding me of the reality check for this fanfic. Because indeed, Kamusoyo had a very wrong footing at the beginning and sometimes my shipper tendency kicks in and I tried to add more romance parts, haha. I'll be more cruel to them in the future, hehe. Thank you!

* * *

 **What Pumps the Blood** _ **(Faster)**_

 _ **Chapter 15 – Ghosts' Trails**_

* * *

Soyo woke up to the sound of Shinpachi and Kagura quarreling. Usually this would not start until ten in the morning, when Shinpachi entered Yorozuya to do the job (aka cleaning the house and preparing for the meals), and this realization made Soyo jolt up from her bed. There was not an instance where she woke up later than Kagura, but the fact that she overslept (and most importantly, returned to Yorozuya when she had not a single memory of walking back there last night) alarmed her sense.

Soyo entered the kitchen where Kagura and Shinpachi were at; both were silenced when Soyo made her entrance.

"Soyo-chan! Did Shinpachi wake you up with his stupid yelling?" asked Kagura.

"Excuse me, you were the one who kept yelling!" Shinpachi argued, but a second later (after realizing that indeed he was the one with the loudest voice), he cleared his throat and fixed his glasses. "But you should rest more, Hime-sama. You must have been tired."

Soyo darted her glance to Kagura and Shinpachi in turns, cautiously. "Tired? Me?"

"You should have told me if you were going to help Tsukky with the Yoshiwara affairs. Abuto told me that you got back nearly at four in the morning because you were helping Tsukky."

"Ah, Abuto," Soyo slowly murmured as she directed her gaze to the man who was sitting on the sofa, wordlessly cleaning his umbrella. When Kagura and Shinpachi got involved in a quarrel again, Soyo turned to walk to the sofa and sit beside the Yato man.

"You owe me one, little miss," Abuto muttered under his breath when he felt the additional weigh falling on the spot beside him.

Maintaining the volume of her voice to the most minimum level possible, Soyo also whispered back, "What happened actually?"

"Shouldn't that be my question?" Abuto remarked. "I was the only one still awake when my Captain suddenly appeared in front of the Yorozuya with you sleeping on his back. I might have suspected some things from that night you two were drunk, but really, things seem to be progressing in a way that makes even I curious."

Soyo only buried her face on her palms and groaned.

* * *

"So, the little miss refused to say anything," Abuto reported as he seated himself next to his captain –who seemed to have "officially" rendered the ex. Shinsengumi headquarter as his residence on earth. Abuto sighed when his captain said nothing and instead reached for the plastic bag of bentos Abuto brought for his lunch. "If you two keep it hidden like this, you'd make me suspect something that might not even be true."

Eating his bento as if he was not affected the slightest, Kamui asked instead, "So, what is your worst suspicion?"

Abuto opened his mouth to say something, but he closed it again. "Forget it. Even saying it makes me feel awkward."

"That's a dangerous suspicion then," Kamui idly noted as he reached out for the second bento box.

"Please don't tell me that you and little miss have…" Abuto paused. He _really_ couldn't say it.

"If you meant sex, then no," Kamui, on the other hand, said it nonchalantly. "We haven't done it."

Abuto laughed tonelessly. "Why do I have the impression as if that's next on schedule?"

Kamui shrugged. "Who knows?"

"Captain, this is not funny," Abuto muttered. Staring at the Shinsengumi's now unkempt training yard and refusing to look at his captain, the vice-captain then continued, "I don't want to meddle with your personal life. And I know you've never heeded my advice when I told you to stay out of a fight, but this time…" Abuto clicked his tongue. "I don't even know what I want to say. There's your sister, and she'd hate you even more for this. And to begin with, you with that little princess, it's just… wrong."

"Relax," Kamui assured as he laid down his chopsticks –disappointed when he realized Abuto brought not more than three bento boxes. "It's just a way to pass time in this boring planet."

"There are _other_ ways to pass time," Abuto insisted. "If you're looking for women, you could get one or two from the red light districts. But not the best friend of your little sister. Not the princess of Edo –"

"Former," he reminded.

"Still," Abuto shrugged. "It feels wrong."

Kamui laughed at Abuto's remark. "My sister must have affected you a lot, huh? Since when do pirates think of consequences of doing the wrong things?"

"She's too good for you," Abuto stated. "With all due respect."

Smirking, Kamui pulled off the cap of the bottled water and drank the content. "You don't even know how evil her thoughts could be."

"Actually, that makes me more worried," Abuto expressed as he scratched his head. "I would probably be more at ease if you two are only caught in a spur-of-a-moment situation, if it's nothing but physical contacts… To what extent your relationship has grown that you can say things such as knowing her thoughts?" the older man pointed out as he shook his head. "What are you going to do with her?"

"I don't know," Kamui said truthfully. "She's interesting enough to make me feel like I just want to see where this thing is going to."

"…Stop this, please, Captain. You don't know what you're doing and your relationship with her is wrong and –"

"Abuto," Kamui interrupted. Grinning at his subordinate, Kamui reminded him, "I'm not having a relationship with that brat. I was just implying that our encounters had so far actually been pretty entertaining and if she can amuse me while I am still on earth, then why not? And besides," Kamui propped his chin on his palm and smiled to Abuto again. "Have I ever obeyed your advice?"

Sighing, Abuto understood. "No. And that's why I am very anxious this time."

* * *

Kamui decided to stop the coincidences.

Most of their past encounters had been one, although what happened in each of the encounter was probably even more unplanned. Five years prior, he would not have thought of actually even remembering her, much less to intentionally looking for her. But when he got bored and really had nothing much better to do, Kamui did actually ask around (or ask Abuto, who relayed him the information he got from Kagura) on the little ex-princess' whereabouts.

It turned out that Soyo was spending that late afternoon to visit the bare graveyards; stopping and praying in front of the tomb of the person who had once been his very target five years prior.

The shadow of his umbrella covered her as well when he decided to stand behind her. He did not exactly intend to shield her from the sun (which was almost non-existent now, in this cloudy, near-autumn day), but there was no harm in doing it anyway.

Soyo had just finished her praying and she looked behind to see his now rather familiar figure. There was the mildest hint of surprise on her eyes upon seeing him, but she did not jerk away. The curiosity lingered though. Soyo had learned to voice this out to even the most mentally unstable man she had ever met. "What are you doing here?"

Kamui shrugged. "Nothing in particular."

"Were you looking for me?" she asked with the most likely guess. It was not that she wanted to get full of herself, but it was a public cemetery –certainly not a place where one would just walk into without any purpose. She was also certain he would not have any attachment to anyone buried there. The fact that she was the only visitor of the cemetery that day (as it had been most of the times) further strengthened her guess.

"Kind of," he answered nonchalantly.

There was a thump in her heart that made her feel guilty of. Not in front of her brother's grave, and not that her heart beats ever had the right to accelerate in Kamui's presence to begin with.

"Do you need to pray in private?"

"I'm done praying actually, but I still want to be here for a while," Soyo stated as she directed her gaze back at the tombstone.

"Alright, I'll get going then –"

"It's alright," Soyo spoke out of reflex, and she only realized the mess she had gotten herself into. But the milk had been spilt. Sighing, she confirmed, "You can just stay here."

"Hmm," Kamui mumbled.

"…Your umbrella helps," she reasoned weakly and bit the inside of her mouth. That was a weak excuse, considering that the sun was extremely shy that late afternoon, but she had no other means to retract the statement.

So he remained standing in his spot; a step behind her, facing the grave of Tokugawa Shigeshige himself. The sister knelt down and placed more flowers on her brother's grave and she did not stand up for a while. Probably he got bored for staring at the tombstone, because he broke the silence –with the most unnecessary question.

"What kind of person your brother was?"

Soyo took his question in and considered it for a while. In the end, she summarized her perception of her brother into two words.

"…An idiot."

Kamui raised an eyebrow. "Do little sisters have a thing for calling their big brothers idiot?"

Soyo chuckled at that and couldn't help but to see the truth in his words. Shrugging, the girl continued, "Aniue-sama was infamous for his stupidity. He embarrassed himself often, but he was the last person to feel embarrassed with anything he was doing. A true idiot."

"…"

"But you won't find anyone in Edo as gentle-hearted as him," Soyo resumed her speech; her gaze softened at the sight of the tombstone. "He always put other peoples' interest before himself. He'd even forgive his enemy without a second thought."

"Sounds like a weak leader."

The scary thing about Soyo's interaction with Kamui was that everything had been so absurd that even things that had been so outrageous began to be tolerable. It had been wrong that she allowed him to stand in front of her dear brother's grave, it was even worse that she allowed him say some insensitive comments about her brother that way. Soyo lately realized, tolerance was not an entirely a virtue –when tolerance pertained a killer, it became as wrong as the existence of the killer itself.

But in this case, it was not tolerance.

It was simply a mutual view.

"I agree," Soyo said and Kamui blinked because that was the least that he would have expected to hear from her. "Aniue-sama's not suited to lead a country. He shouldn't have been a Shogun. If it had not been for Matsudaira-san, the Shinsegumi and his loyalists, he would have been politically annihilated ever since he took over the throne," Soyo said with a shrug. "But."

"But?"

"No one wanted the best for this country more than my brother did. No one loved this country more than he did. The only Shogun in existence who would not mind the hierarchical system be demolished."

"So now you are all fighting to continue his legacy? For revenge?" Kamui asked with a smile so wide that his eyes were nothing less than two crescents on his face. He pushed the next (yet another inappropriate question) to her. "Or do you simply just want to get back the luxury you once had as the Princess of Edo?"

Kamui and his questions: things that always served like pebbles thrown to the still water. Soyo might not have been a tranquil lake herself, and his pebbles –these disturbances were somehow getting acceptable. Fitting, even.

And Soyo thought about Kamui's questions a lot. Not all people gave her the benefit of questions, of engaging her in a somewhat more critical conversation. All people, her dearest friends and even her own brother included, never really considered her having the interest of being involved in a critical discussion. Soyo knew that they did it because they wanted to protect her, and over the years, only Okita who slowly started to become an exception. But even regardless of how ignorant Okita was, the first Shinsengumi captain still had his respect for her –disabling him from engaging her in bolder conversation and queries.

Kamui never respected her technically, but somehow his questions, how he was keen on _challenging_ her, made Soyo felt more appreciated.

Smiling to herself, Soyo shrugged. "Princess of Edo is a heavy title. I spent my youth trying not to be one and I don't have any plan to become one again. Revenge? Hmm, perhaps. But lately, I think there's a much simpler reason. I just…" she paused. Funny. Her hand should not have trembled when she reached out to touch her brother's tombstone.

"You just?" Kamui hung the sentence when Soyo was put in a momentary trance.

"…I just don't want people to forget about Aniue-sama," she whispered.

Kamui did not say a word, and while Soyo owed him not a single explanation, she found herself wanting to speak more to him. "For the dead, it's memories that keep them alive." A weak smile crossed her face as she stared longingly at her brother's tomb. "Right, Aniue-sama?"

There were not many lines spoken after that. Soyo closed her eyes and clasped her hands together to offer some more prayers. After she was done, she bowed slightly before her brother's last resting place, and turned to walk away.

It almost did not feel weird when Kamui was following her –his umbrella was shared with her as they walked to the outside of the cemetery ground.

When he spoke again, they were only couple steps away from the exit of the cemetery ground.

"…What about bitter memories?"

Soyo's thoughts had lingered on her brother that she almost did not realize Kamui was actually still walking by her side. She halted her steps, and he copied her action. Her mind traveled slightly to the conversation she had with him, trying to draw the link to what he just said and what he actually meant.

He probably thought that she already forgot, because Kamui actually took the hassle to clarify. "You said memories keep the dead alive. Does that include bitter memories?"

She did not expect him on asking her back. "It's the bitter memory that leaves the most impression," she spoke her view.

"Well in my case," Kamui shrugged as he stared at the dozens of tombstones behind him. How fitting. Kamui was not afraid of the superstitious beliefs or supernatural beings, but even so… "The dead just haunt me," he said with a chuckle.

But then there was also something else, something behind that smile that always reached his eyes.

He looked nearly like his self when she found him months prior, after he killed his subordinate under the bridge: an image of a lost child that tried to justify what could never be justified, and never deserved mercy, yet at the same time, was too pitiful altogether.

"…You're a pathetic man."

Her words contained nothing but cruelty (and stupidity –considering whom she was saying such words to), but the warmth of the hand that engulfed his brought nothing but sincere condolence. Perhaps understanding, perhaps.

Kamui did not pull his hand off her grasp.

His smile never faltered, but Soyo could feel the big hand within her smaller grasp trembled.

How a killer's hand could feel so weak in her grasp, Soyo would have never thought. How a presence who lusted for nothing but battlefield suddenly looked so small, so defenseless –it all seemed like an absurd notion.

"It was almost intentional," Kamui murmured –it was somehow getting more difficult to uphold the smile. "When I abandoned her, and when I killed him… it was almost intentional. For the swiftest second I did think my mother was a hassle and that my father's death proved my worth. No," he pulled the corner of his lips again –pulling it back to secure a smile. "It _was_ intentional. One hell of a villain, remember?" he joked, and it did not sound funny at all.

"Then why did you promise to protect your sister?" Soyo softly asked. "Guilt? Responsibility?"

"So that my old man would stop haunting me," Kamui snorted, regretful when he realized that with more seconds he allowed Soyo to be alive, his smile was dropping again. He needed to uphold it more, keep it intact and look as truthful as possible. "And so that weak woman's ghost would leave me," he said in a voice barely a whisper. It was not only his hand that trembled now, his lips quivered and Soyo thought that for such a good looking man, the way he forced to smile really did not suit him.

He gave up. Something heavy was pulling the strings beneath his ribcages down and keeping up that cheeky smile became impossible. His smile looked nothing but a cringe now.

Soyo's hand left his, and before she could stop herself, she placed it on his cheek, partially cupping his chin.

And it was then that it became truly alright to drop the smile. The muscles of his face (that was more tired than his sore, battle-worn limbs) lost the strength. Devoid of any of his trademark smile, Kamui just looked down at her –at the girl who defied logic –his and her altogether.

And he nearly allowed himself to relax. Funny, because he had believed he was very much of an idle man to begin with. It was not until his encounters with her that he realized how uptight he actually was.

"…I'm not going to say it's alright for you. You killed too many innocent people. You _deserve_ to be haunted," Soyo told him and he did not find it insulting the least. He chuckled –a more honest one this time, because yes. He did deserve this. If he went by the community's standard, a murderer like him deserved worse –much, much worse. Keeping her gaze straight looking at him, Soyo affirmed, "Not every villain deserves a redemption."

Kamui smiled softly. "…I know," he acknowledged as he drew his hand and placed it on top of hers on his cheek. "Say, if you had the power, would you kill me?" he asked, eyes fluttering narrow, and if she did not understand better, she would have thought he was actually leaning his face onto her hand.

"It's a tempting thought," she replied honestly. "I guess I would have."

"And now?"

She shrugged. "Villains need to suffer more in life. Death would be too easy."

"Spoken like a true villain, Hime-sama."

Soyo chuckled softly, before she drew her hand off his face. She thought she detected slight disappointment on his eyes, but she could have been mistaken.

They resumed their walk outside the cemetery ground. Soyo's eyes noticed the distinctive uniform of a patrolling guard and she was about to instinctively ask Kamui to lower his umbrella down. But Kamui's instinct actually took it farther. With a gesture that almost looked natural, he actually pulled her smaller frame closer to the center of the umbrella –hiding her. He must have been so close to her because she really could feel the warmth of his body and the distinctive, rustic blood and sandalwood scent on him.

"…Thank you," she murmured quickly after they managed to pass the patrolling guard (who threw his gaze away upon identifying the big umbrella. Hitotsubashi did not need to be involved in an actual encounter with a Yato to know that every Yato, by definition, must be avoided at all cost).

"I don't get why you brats like playing hide and seek so much," Kamui commented. "If it were me, I'd just face it and finish it as soon as possible."

It was not easy to change someone, and since Soyo had no intention (or faith) to change him, she could only comment shortly, "By default you just love troubles, don't you?"

Kamui turned his face to look at her and flashed her a grin. "Oh yes. It isn't as if getting involved with a brat like you not troubling enough."

"…Soyo," she mumbled out of the blue.

"Hmm?" Kamui mumbled.

"Tokugawa Soyo," she repeated. "My name. And I'm not a brat."

Kamui blinked, before he burst out laughing. "Aren't _you_ the one who loves troubles, _Brat_?"

Soyo frowned. "I actually am quite calculative. I always play it safe."

"No, you definitely don't," he decided, a small smile on his face. If she could be a bit full of herself, there was actually contentment on his face. Kamui then pointed his index finger to his chest and elaborated his point more. "You are really playing with trouble. And you should be careful. I tend to be obsessive in games. And at times," he paused, and to her surprise, he voluntarily intertwined his hands with hers. "I can be quite possessive too."

And to her own surprise, she did not find any reason that was doable enough to make her want to draw her hands from his. Smiling to herself, Soyo just shrugged, "Good. Because I'm serious in the games I play as well."

It was not until they entered the Kabuki-cho main street that both of them instinctively let go of their hold of each other's hand. It was hard to spot Yorozuya household, but even from a distance, Sadaharu was striking enough to be noticed. Sadaharu barked, and upon the sound, Kagura, who was playing with him, glanced at the direction Sadaharu was barking.

"Soyo-chan!" gleefully shouted Kagura from seemingly miles away. The vermillion-haired girl made a sudden leap onto Sadaharu and together, they both dashed towards Soyo. Stopping right in front of the raven-haired girl, Kagura gazed around and frowned. "Eh, funny. I thought Sadaharu said you were with someone?"

Smiling in assurance to her best friend (and feeling slightly bad for having to lie), Soyo shook her head. "I was with no one. Has Shinpachi-san made dinner for us?"

"Yeah. That's the only thing the useless guy is useful for," said Kagura (who, Soyo realized, was actually getting closer to her old self –to her relief). "Hop in, Soyo-chan. Let's just head back to Yorozuya and torture that useless man again."

Receiving the hand offered to her and allowing Kagura used her monstrous strength, Soyo was effortlessly lifted on top of Sadaharu's back. After making sure that she was properly seated, Kagura instructed Sadaharu to dash back to Yorozuya.

The early autumn wind was playing with Soyo's hair as she allowed Sadaharu took them away. Looking up, she could briefly see a distinctive figure sitting on top of a three-storey building, his legs were hanging as he looked down at the sight. Kamui grinned and waved at Soyo.

Soyo stopped herself from waving back, but Kagura already took notice of the sudden smile that her best friend had on her face. Thinking that it was just Soyo's way of expressing excitement for a festive dinner, Kagura shrugged it off.

* * *

 **To be continued**


	16. Puncture

**Guest #1:** While it's not healthy, but thanks for reading the story despite the hour! I'm glad if you can enjoy it.

 **Guest #2 (tallandhansome)** : Last chapter, hmm, yeah, it is kinda purported to show how Kamui was beginning to open himself to Soyo. Soyo-Shigeshige sibling love in Gintama canon verse is just so tragic, and oh if only I have the power to make it right for Soyo and Shigeshige…but well, can't do that. And hehe, yeah, tried to make Kamui more protective here : ). And yes, I'll continue this fic.

 **Guest #3 (GRadha5):** Thank you for still making the time up for this fic, despite the internet connection issue! Thanks for letting me know your comment as well, I'm glad if you can enjoy the story!

 **Guest#4** : Gintsu ^^ And yeah, let's drop that smiling mask of Kamui eh? Hehe. The pacing of the relationship may change rather abruptly in these two chapters. Kagura will have more appearance in the future as well. Cheers too!

* * *

 **What Pumps the Blood (Faster)**

 **Chapter 16 – Puncture**

* * *

They did not meet up often, but still, far more often than what both would have expected months, years prior.

There were questions and issues that neither was willing to talk to each other –like a common understanding that pins would burst the bubbles. And so long that the bubbles did not burst, it was worth the risk –this craziness, this ambition. Both Kamui and Soyo lived lives differently, and their perceptions of lives contrasted each other, but if there was anything that they could agree on, they both were the types to live in the moment.

And as momentary as it was, neither actually wanted to pop the bubbles.

There was no naming of what they had. It was not a friendship or actual relationship. There was not much physical contacts either. Kamui had a thing for casually inserting sexual innuendos in their conversations, but at the end of the day, it was all talks –and both talks that mattered (Soyo ended up telling him some of Joui Patriot's political agenda for Kamui to analyze here and there) and talks that did not matter (Kamui listed seven reasons why he thought long, braided hair for men was never out of style, and Soyo still insisted that her brother's half-shaven hairstyle was actually better. Kamui actually grew pale at the thought of his hair being half-shaved).

"Aren't you in good mood lately?" Kagura remarked as she caught the sight of her best friend humming song as she was folding a secret letter to Katsura at the northern mountains.

"What's not to be happy for? Katsura-san managed to form the alliance with the eastern force. Tae-nee's condition is getting better and Shinpachi finally got a girlfriend after 21 years of wasted life –"

"Glasses has a girlfriend?!" Kagura shrieked and immediately shot a murderous glance to the man who was now gaping in panic in the middle of vacuuming the Yorozuya household.

"Hime-sama! You promised not to tell!" Shinpachi shrieked.

Blinking innocently, Soyo feigned a guiltless look, "Did I promise that? Sorry, I must have been quite forgetful these days."

"Whoever wants to be this idiot's girlfriend?! Shinpachi! Did you force her?! I thought I taught you better than that! How could you manipulate an innocent girl's feeling, and who the hell –"

"I did not manipulate anyone! Kirara-san is just –"

"So it is Kirara?! How dare you, Shinpachi! That girl has a weak body, and yet you are wasting her life! She deserves someone much better! How dare you?!" Kagura roared as she paced towards Shinpachi, grabbed his collar and lifted the poor boy's body up.

Soyo just shook her head and smiled to herself as she inserted the letter into the envelope and sealed it.

"You always know how to manipulate people to shift their attention off you, little miss," tonelessly commented Abuto behind her. "I fear people like you the most."

"You think too highly of me, Abuto," Soyo remarked innocently.

"Last night was the third time in two weeks that I saw you spend some time with Captain again," Abuto spoke –considerate enough not to say it in a volume that would certainly alarm Kagura more than Shinpachi's dating news. Scratching his head and leaning back to the sofa, Abuto then asked her the question, "What are you expecting from this?"

"Nothing," solemnly declared Soyo. "It's not going anywhere and I'm sure neither of us wants it to actually go somewhere. I might find Kamui actually comfortable to talk to, but it's not like there's anything to gain in this."

Abuto laughed. It was devoid of any amusement. "A couple of months ago you told me that you did not even trust him."

Soyo nodded and acknowledged that fact. "If there's anything I can trust from your captain, is that I trust he knows this is not going anywhere either. I know he will eventually leave earth, but while he's still here, I don't think it's a bad idea to keep him entertained."

"But it's a dangerous bet you two are having here," Abuto pointed out. Shaking his head, he heaved a long sigh. "Forget what I said. Whatever happens between the two of you is not my problem," the man paused, before he hesitantly added, "Though I have a feeling that it will eventually be problematic to me at the end of the day."

* * *

"You're so intent in making me go bankrupt, aren't you?" Soyo pointed out the obvious –when they spent the late afternoon together near the river bank –dozens of empty takoyaki plates littered their surroundings. She gave him a warning glance to remind him to tidy those up –she was not a prominent public figure any longer, but an ex-princess' involvement in a pro-global warming campaign was not exactly a nice publicity stunt either.

He munched on the last takoyaki with his mouth still full. Kamui waved the pick at her and mumbled, "It's a cheap compensation for not killing you. It's actually merciful of me."

"How convenient. You literally could live off free food your entire life if you threaten human that way," she remarked, to which he responded with a shrug. Soyo did not know since when his killing threats actually stopped sounding like threats. Perhaps because –at least to the extent of her knowledge – Kamui never actually attempted any fight anymore. Soyo knew for sure that it did not mean Kamui had abandoned the idea –after all, it was nearly impossible to change one's lifetime ambition of being the strongest in battlefield overnight. Kamui rarely asked about Okita (and since Okita travelled a lot with Kondo lately, it was hard to demand for a fight with him anyway) and the last time he actually showed interest in picking up fight was only earlier that day –when he met Nobume for the first time.

The thought of the event that happened earlier that day still put a certain discomfort to Soyo. Soyo had been meeting Nobume (who travelled around as often as the Shinsengumi did) in private, when Kamui suddenly popped in.

The fact that Kamui often ran into Soyo lately was getting common, but the fact that during his stay in earth and second to Okita, Kamui actually showed quite a blatant interest for a fight was rather rare.

Nobume, being privy to a lot of information, did not need an introduction to know that Kamui was the infamous ex. Harusame pirate who once had an allegiance with the Mimawarigumi through the partnership between Isaburo and Takasugi. Soyo guessed that the two fighters never truly met before, but skilled fighters just had instinct to recognize each other.

Nobume had immediately drawn her sword and hid Soyo behind her back when Kamui made his way to cross their paths in that secret alleyway. There was not much of an interaction, because Kamui only pointed at Soyo and said " _That thing still owes me lunch today_ " and upon Soyo's reassuring grip, she managed to convince Nobume to sheathe her sword back. Nobume had finished her business with Soyo anyway, so after a few exchange of conversation, she bid her farewell and disappeared into the dark alleyways.

But even in the shortest encounter, Soyo, being a very perspective one, took note on the silent exchange of acknowledgement between Kamui and Nobume.

"You want to fight her?"

Kamui had been rambling about how he now knew which stand sold the best takoyaki when Soyo was drowned in her own mental monologue. Neither paid attention to each other, so it took him a 'Huh?' as a response to Soyo's sudden question.

And now Soyo kind of regretted letting it blurt out. It was not as if she should be thinking about it anyway… but…

Shaking her head, Soyo added, "Forget it. I was just thinking to my –"

"You mean that girl we met earlier?" Kamui inquired, his head was tilted to his side.

Sometimes Soyo hated how Kamui, despite looking ignorant, was actually capable of catching things up too fast for her own liking.

Now Soyo felt stupid. She really shouldn't have mumbled that question. It would only show Kamui how she was still thinking of that short and supposedly insignificant encounter. But she now had no choice but to respond. "Yes. Nobume. But forget what I said and –"

"Of course, I'd love to fight her. I don't know her real skill is, but judging from the way she held out her sword, I'd say she's pretty strong," Kamui said as he gazed afar to the river in front of him, as if trying to dig in his mind the evaluation form he had for every possible opponent he encountered. His verdict came after. "Actually, I have a hunch that she _is_ strong. Probably on the same level with your bodyguard?"

Soyo really wished she could retract the conversation.

Kamui, however, always knew how to push when he could feel her discomfort grew.

She noticed the way he was trying _not_ to smirk when he asked. "Why did you suddenly ask this?"

Soyo put on her best poker face. "No reason in particular."

Sadly, Kamui knewthat there _was_ a reason in particular. Slightly biting his tongue as if he wanted to really stifle the laugh, he answered –no, teasedher instead. "It's rare to find someone with that level of strength in earth lately. She's interesting. Do you have a plan to meet her again somewhere soon? I might want to tag in."

Soyo flinched slightly and she hoped (futilely) that Kamui would not catch that. "So that you can kill my friend?"

He did not hide his smirk this time. He knew that while it was always true that Soyo would be worried for her friends' safety, there was other kind of worry in her tone this time. And since it was kind of rare to have her reacting this way, Kamui decided to play it longer. "Who knows? It'd be interesting to fight her, though I have a personal policy not to kill potential kids and women." When Soyo made no response to this statement, Kamui intentionally dragged with the elaboration. "Kids can grow strong and fight me one day. And strong women would certainly give birth to strong kids. It'd be a waste to kill them. "

"Oh," was Soyo's short response. "…It's a relief to know that you will not kill Nobume-san."

Kamui smiled to himself and decided to cut the chase. "Just say it if you're troubled."

Maintaining her face straight, Soyo responded. "I'm not troubled. I am relieved that you will not kill her and –"

"You're not being entirely honest," he pointed out as he poked her casually. "Just say it."

"Say what?" she haughtily insisted. A bit.

He grinned at her reaction. "That you're jealous?"

Kamui was lucky enough to catch the redness of her face, before she looked down and her dark hair covered her side profile. When she heard him laugh, she decided that she had enough and really –she should have had enough since a while ago. "I'm leaving," Soyo declared as she prepared to stand up.

But his hand reached out, and it was almost effortless that she fell back to him.

"Even in the times where you're predictable, you're still cute," Kamui said with a grin.

And as Soyo gazed at his ever youthful and carefree looking face, and the realization of how much she actually liked his smile, Soyo covered her entire face with her hands and murmured, "…We really should stop this."

"Why? Isn't it fun?"

Sometimes it frustrated her how he was nonchalant in everything about how they interacted to each other, while each passing day, she was feeling the turbulence with only the glimpse of his orange hair. Soyo could not deny that she liked spending time with him as well, and while they reciprocally viewed this…unnamed relationship as something worth passing the time for, Soyo knew that they had a different standard of fun, and Soyo could already predict whose attention would span longer.

She wanted to point this out to him, but at the same time, she was afraid because if he ever said that this whole thing stopped being interesting for him, she would probably be much more troubled than the fact she was uncomfortable seeing him with Nobume together.

"Didn't you say that your life on earth is so boring?" Soyo said eventually.

He stared at her, and Soyo realized that no matter how many times she had actually spent in his vicinity, something about his clear blue eyes still managed to thump something within her ribcage. Especially, when he was staring at her with that kind of look –one that even, she, the perspective one, was unable to decipher completely.

He rolled on his side and lifted himself slightly –the side of his face was leaning on the palm of his propped up elbow. "It is boring. It is mundane and not exactly thrilling, but…" he paused as his other hand reached out to touch her hair. He liked touching her long hair, Soyo concluded. And Soyo did not particularly hate the thought of having that (blood-stained) hand touching her hair.

"But?"

"Strangely it's not exactly a waste of time. In fact…" Kamui paused, as if to rethink of his words one last time. "It's kind of worth my time."

"Life on earth?"

"No. Spending my time with you."

The fact that he always said this kind of things so casually, so idly never ceased to surprise her. There were times where she thought it was unfair how the simplest things (that he probably did not mean) somehow meant a lot to her. She felt like she was losing a score in this silent battle among them.

A part of her knew that Kamui, despite how flippant his way of speaking was, was actually not an entire liar. Sometimes she wondered whether he just had a low standard or did trivial stuffs really mattered to him or –

"It's not exactly trivial," he said, and Soyo blinked when she realized that she had just spoken her thought out loud. "I wouldn't have thought that I would like spending time with you, but I actually do. You –"

He stopped himself there and if Soyo wanted to hide her curiosity, she failed miserably, because she immediately shot the question. "I…what?"

His smile softened and his fingers on her hair were lightly tugging her. He did this often enough to make her realize what he meant with the gesture. Sighing, Soyo also laid on her side beside him, fixating her gaze at the face which used to make her shudder in the past.

"I don't know how you do it," Kamui began. "But you make the voices stop."

"…What voices?"

"The voices in my head," he elaborated lightly. "And I actually begin to think that I'd better spending my time with you rather than looking for an opponent to fight. Well, not that earth has much to offer, and I guess that's why I prefer spending time with you more, brat."

"I told you my name," she insisted. "Until when will you refer me as a brat?"

He smirked. "Don't be inconsistent. Whenever I want to see you as a woman, you'd always slap my hand away before I can actually do anything."

Soyo groaned and Kamui gave a light laughter.

Her next question ended his laughter.

"Until when are we actually playing this, Kamui?"

His chuckle stopped at the most awkward timing. There was something in Kamui's eyes that made Soyo feel guilty all so sudden. Play. Game. Was it really that way with her? She might only be his way of passing times on earth, but he was more to her than that. And with the thought that her words might have ruined whatever moment they had, Soyo was about to open her mouth to apologize, but Kamui beat her to it.

"Until either one of us is bored, I guess?" he replied cheekily. His gaze changed and he suddenly lifted his body up, a twist of unreadable smile was suddenly plastered on his face. "…Or until my sister finds out, which happens to be ironically, now."

Soyo widened her eyes and in startled movement, got up from her laying position and turned around.

A mouth-gaping Kagura was standing behind her.

* * *

Kagura did not speak to her on their way back to Yorozuya.

"Kagura-chan…" Soyo attempted for the fifteenth time since the Yato girl found out that her brother and her best friend had actually been spending time together behind her back.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, Soyo-chan?"

It was the first time that Kagura actually said a somewhat harsher word to her, and Soyo flinched at the realization. In any other circumstance, Soyo knew that Kagura would blame her brother first (Kagura had the worst expectation when it came to her brother), but the fact that Kagura actually said nothing to Kamui back then in the river side and only now talked to her, assured Soyo that it really took two to tango –and this was a joint suicide that Soyo was actually accountable as well.

Sighing, Soyo carefully started, "I'm sorry for not telling you sooner."

Kagura laughed tonelessly. "Not telling me sooner of what? That you're actually seeing my brother without telling me?"

Startled, Soyo took a while to respond. "I'm not seeing him in _that_ way. We're not what you think we –"

"You even use 'we'," Kagura, usually dense to boot in this kind of situation, suddenly became as sharp as Okita's blade. "I really don't know, and a part of me doesn't want to know what's been going on behind my back."

"Kagura-chan –"

"Have you forgotten, Soyo-chan?" the orange-haired girl interrupted, as she stopped her walk and stared at her best friend's eyes. "Have you forgotten who he is actually? What that man is and was always capable of doing?"

Soyo gulped. "A murderer," she whispered. "I-I've never forgotten that fact –"

"Since when do you lie to me, Soyo-chan?"

Stunned, Soyo averted her gaze from Kagura. She had not realized it, but perhaps a part of Kagura's suspicion was right. Since when did Soyo actually regard him as Kamui, as a person, instead of a murderer who had been involved in the murder attempt of her brother, of the actual murder of her best friend's father?

And that part made Soyo more embarrassed to Kagura. Even if Soyo's answer was that Kamui was a momentary fling to her, that still did not sound right –more so if he was more than that. It was as if Soyo did not take into account that the man had just made her best friend lost someone precious to her, and that Soyo disregarded that fact casually.

And the thought that maybe her recklessness and curiosity actually meant that Soyo was indeed disregarding Kagura's feeling made a very uncomfortable heap at the bottom of her stomach. Whatever she said would sound wrong now. Simply because what she had done was simply unjustifiable –from any aspect. And she had no excuse for that.

"Kagura-chan, I'm really sorry, I –"

"I-I need some time alone," concluded Kagura –eyes disoriented. "Tell Shinpachi that I won't be having dinner in home."

Panicked because Kagura simply never voluntarily wanted to miss Shinpachi's dinner, Soyo demanded, "W-where are you going?"

The other girl chuckled bitterly. "I don't know. Beating one idiot brother I have? Taking a time off myself? I don't know, I –" Kagura sighed. "How do I supposed to know?! When I don't even know that my best friend and my brother had betrayed me and –" she groaned. "I don't even want to say the word. I don't even want to imagine anything."

"Kagura –"

"Sadaharu," Kagura muttered instead to the big, white dog that was resting on the outside of Yorozuya. The creature perked its ears upon hearing its name and quickly made a leap towards its main owner. Kagura soundlessly only hopped herself onto Sadaharu's back, and before Soyo could say anything to stop her, the girl and her dog had taken off.

* * *

It was serious because even on the next day's dinner, Kagura did not show up.

"Where is that monster, anyway?" asked Shinpachi as he glared at the dozens of plates that were about to become waste. "She's been skipping my dinner for two nights in a row!"

The corner of Abuto's eyes made instinctive glance to Soyo's direction. Soyo noticed this, but she decided not to address Abuto's silent concern. She continued to eat her meal silently –it almost tasted bland, which was impossible for Shinpachi's cooking, and she concluded that the fault was on her side. Abuto's silent stare, Shinpachi's endless ranting and her own growing guilt made it suffocating to stay in the place any longer. Soyo forced herself to finish at least her own bowl of rice (with much difficulty. She had no appetite, but she was partially guilty for the wasted food, so she would take responsibility as best as she could).

Regardless of how hostile Shinpachi and Kagura's relationship had been in comparison to the five years prior, there was absolutely no denying that the two of them cared deeply for each other. The moment Soyo laid her chopsticks down, Shinpachi announced to the other two current occupants of Yorozuya.

"I'll go take a walk," he decided –which both Abuto and Soyo easily interpreted as 'I'm worried about Kagura and I will go look for her.'

Soyo sighed once the entrance door was swung close and Shinpachi's footsteps could be heard echoing at the stairs down. She truly did not know where Kagura was –Soyo had spent the entire afternoon looking for her at Kyuubei's place, Yoshiwara and hospital where Tae was rested. It was so unlike Kagura to go without news like this and Soyo's discomfort tripled when she realized that she was probably the reason for Kagura not to return to Yorozuya for the time being.

"Will it be correct if I assume little miss' disappearance has something to do with you and captain?" Abuto broke the silence that Shinpachi left behind.

Denying it would be futile, so Soyo just shrugged half-heartedly. "…I didn't think that she would be this mad. I mean, I know Kagura-chan has the right to be mad, but…" Soyo paused before she could come up with more excuses. Kagura _did_ have a reason to be mad. If only her brother did not abandon their mother and did not kill their father, if only the siblings' relationship had been well all along, if only Soyo actually consulted this _prior_ to Kagura… all these matters that did not happen.

The voice of her mind still stubbornly insisted that while Kagura could and had reason to be mad, if she knew better, then perhaps there shall be no issue.

The main question remained, what was it about her and Kamui that happened? If Soyo could answer it in the negative, then really, there should have been no problem at all. Contrary to her head, her guts was saying otherwise, but still, she came up with that statement.

"What's going on between me and Kamui is not even serious," the dark-haired girl spoke as she tidied up the plates.

Abuto gave a hand on tidying the table. Expressionlessly, he only commented, "At least spare me from your lies, little miss. Both you and I, and perhaps that idiotic captain of mine know that what you have with him is more serious than you claim it to be."

Soyo bit her lips. "…I _don't want_ it to be serious."

"The only way to stop it before it gets _more_ serious, is to simply _stop_. Now."

She knew this. Not only was it rational, it would solve all problems and she would return to the situation where she would live a perfect and fund life with her best friend. And there was not supposed to be any real hassle in it. Regardless of how differently she viewed Kamui now, Kamui was still someone whose very core was the epitome of the devil itself. Soyo did not claim she was a saint, but there were things that were blatantly _wrong,_ and Kamui was easily one of it.

What was not easy, however, was to stop matters dictated by emotion.

Which was silly, because as playful as Kamui was and as curious as Soyo was, both of them were the types that tried to make sense out of matters. Well, she still viewed his love for battlefield irrational, but he could very much still regard her fetish of torturing people irrational as well. But point being, they were not some…what, clueless people.

What they had together was fun, but it was fun because it was supposed to be momentary –and it was supposed to stop.

"…But what if I can't stop it?"

Abuto's dry laugh actually scared her "Is it _that_ serious already?"

"No…" she shook her head. "…I don't know."

She truly did not know. What was supposed to remain as a challenging game between the two of them had heavy consequences to carry. "Maybe I have to force him leave the planet to make it stop," she paused, because even that idea (which, despite the destruction of Edo terminal, was still possible to be done with her connection) made her stomach churn. It scared her that seeing him started to become habitual, and that it would probably soon turn to be a necessity. The realization put her mind at unrest. She should not have been feeling this way.

Soyo closed her eyes and the face of Kagura appeared on her mind.

Kagura was…someone important to her. She was her first friend, and one that she would forever claim as her own best friend. What she had with Kagura had more history than the shortest, insignificant ( _really?_ ) dangerous _fling_ she had with Kamui. It was not supposed to be something comparable. Soyo knew that if in the end she had to choose, she knew who to choose. And besides, with the resurrection of the northern and eastern force, she knew that the final battle with the Hitotsubashi was to ensue soon.

All reasons strengthened her faith.

She had no time for Kamui.

( _As much as his presence filled her soul, there were other matters, other things that she should treasure and prioritize more_ ).

Exhaling a deep breath, Soyo affirmed her thought. "I will end it."

"You should. There's no merit out of it," Abuto affirmed –half-hoping that his strong stance would make the girl's heart waver less. Seeing the disoriented look on the ex. princess' eyes, Abuto realized that the assurance needed to be taken to another level. Walking closer to the young girl, Abuto then extended his big hand and rested it on top of Soyo's ebony hair to ruffle it. "You're just momentarily distracted, little miss. And I'm sure captain is too."

"…Yes," Soyo agreed slowly, though the agitation only doubled when Abuto confirmed the very fact that indeed, she was just Kamui's little distraction on earth and that it was as trivial as it could and should have been.

* * *

 **To be Continued**


	17. Decision

**A/n:** Two chapters update again since I have been leaving this story for a while. Go back to the previous chapter for the last time this story left you.

* * *

 **What Pumps the Blood (Faster)**

 **Chapter 17 – Decision**

* * *

The ruckus at four in the morning woke Soyo up, and it turned out that after skipping three dinners, Shinpachi finally managed to locate and drag Kagura back to Yorozuya.

Soyo had not been able to sleep much, so when the loud shouting came from the entrance part of Yorozuya and she easily recognized it Kagura's voice, Soyo quickly jumped off the bed (which had been rather vacant these past few days) and immediately ran out of the room.

If Soyo had not felt so guilty over the whole situation, she would actually make a remark of how Shinpachi and Kagura looked like the stereotypical housewife trying to wake her drunken husband who was sleeping on the foyer –gender roles reversed. Giving up trying to make the drunk Kagura stand on her own, Shinpachi just shouted some scolding before he glanced at Soyo and regretfully spoke.

"Hime-sama, my apologies, but could you do something about this failed excuse of a woman?" Shinpachi said after he decided he had received enough beating from Kagura.

Tightening the sleepwear robe around her body, Soyo nodded. "Yes. You go home, Shinpachi. Thanks a lot for getting Kagura-chan back."

It did look that Shinpachi was in dire need of a sleep. So after some basic conversation on how could he find Kagura (it turned out that the girl was spending her time finding some thugs to beat at the outskirt of the town), Shinpachi left Yorozuya –leaving Kagura on the couch with drools coming from her lips.

Deciding not to bother Abuto, Soyo decided to just handle Kagura herself. Besides, she did owe Kagura a long explanation.

If the orange-haired girl could still hear people though.

"Kagura-chan. You'll catch cold if you sleep here. Let's go back to our room, alright?"

The softest snores nearly made Soyo change her mind. Soyo was about to turn around and collect a blanket for Kagura, when her best friend suddenly spoke up.

"I promised myself to protect you, Soyo-chan."

Soyo halted her steps and slowly turned around again. She noticed that Kagura was still lying wasted with eyes closed on the sofa, but her earlier remark had sounded sober enough that Soyo knew that she could not delay the conversation any longer.

Exhaling a sigh, Soyo carefully approached the sofa and sat beside Kagura's head. Sweeping the mess of orange hair off her face, the Tokugawa girl replied. "I know. And I could never thank you enough for that, Kagura-chan."

"Then why are you with that bastard?"

Soyo had thought over what she would say to Kagura in her absence, but when the moment came, she realized that the speeches she prepared (all those assurance that there really was nothing between her and Kamui and that even if there was, it was just the shortest fling that she could have had with any other boys in Edo) could not come off her lips. In the end, Soyo just had a sudden change of mind, and decided that Kagura did not deserve to hear those typical lines.

"…It's just tough luck that I found connection with him of all people."

Kagura slowly opened her eyes, before she fluttered them close again. "…Am I not enough for you?"

"You're more than enough for me, Kagura-chan. And you know that," earnestly admitted Soyo.

"I wouldn't have done this if there was just a simple sibling quarrel among us," Kagura spoke. "But you know that my brother and I… things are more complicated than a mere sibling banters. That man… took someone special to me away. I could not… I mean, I cared for him, but I… no matter how hard I tried, I could not see the good in him…No, that's not it," she decided. "…I'm just afraid of him. Of what he's capable of doing. Of what he's capable of doing to you."

Soyo's hands already caressed Kagura's orange hair before she could stop herself. The former princess just stared at the dark wall opposite her, but her hand still fondly caressed her best friend's hair. "Thank you. I know you're worried for me. And I'm sorry for making you feel that way. But you don't have to worry anymore. I will end it. It being… whatever it is that I have with him."

As if having a second thought, Kagura hesitated when she spoke, "Are you doing that for me?"

"And other things," confirmed Soyo. "The stakes are high, and as well, fun my interaction with him was, it does not worth you, or the fight that we are pursuing now," Soyo stated, her eyes were firm. "My brother's dream remains my priority. So you don't have to worry, alright?"

Kagura opened her eyes again, but then Soyo's cool, small hand gently covered her eyes. Assuring her with the gesture that she would set things right again, Soyo eventually convinced Kagura to just sleep.

* * *

Soyo _tried_ to avoid Kamui. This effort was made from busying herself to lying to Abuto (whom, Soyo learned, always spilled her location to his captain even when accompanied with the template " _Captain, you should stop doing this_ " warning) on her whereabouts.

But Kamui had been a solitary fighter for a long while. While he depended on Abuto for a lot of things, it did not mean that he could not survive on his own. It also did not mean that he would need Abuto's help to know where the Tokugawa heir had been hiding _._

Soyo was on her way to the hospital that day (after she told Abuto that she wanted to see Kyuubei instead), when she felt the hand placed on her shoulder.

"Tag. You're it," Kamui said from behind.

Trust the murderer to sneak behind her so stealthily that way. If she had not remembered that she was in public and that it would remain her lifetime mission to be out of the Bakufu's radar, she would have yelped. But screaming would grant the Bakufu polices the free access to her head, so instead, she turned her body around and with wide eyes she whispered, "Don't surprise me that way again!"

Kamui laughed as he lowered her straw hat down and, as if they were buddies for life, slung his left arm around her shoulders and dragged her away from her original pathway to the hospital. "I'm hungry. You haven't treated me with any free dinner this week."

Soyo tried to stomp her feet to the ground to stop him from dragging her around like some cows, but Kamui was persistent (and starving) and she should have known better that he was the type of man who would do things his way.

So as not to attract the attention of the people around them, Soyo gave up trying to stand rooted on her spot and followed Kamui as the man dragged her to the restaurant alley just at the backside of the hospital. She groaned at the proximity (because only then did she actually realize there was a kind of longing for seeing his face and smelling that distinctive sandalwood scent of him), but did less protest as he guided the way.

They got to a more private restaurant alley where one dinner in a restaurant could make up for someone's monthly salary (Kamui knew where to get a good dinner), and upon noticing that there were many passersby in the narrow alley, she resumed her effort of stopping him. Adding pressure to her feet, she resisted being dragged around. Kamui only needed to pull her harder and she was soon swept off her feet again –would have toppled if it had not been for the arm that was not only dragging her around, but actually holding her in place –in his pace.

Sighing, Soyo decided to talk it out to him. "Kamui, stop."

"Don't be stingy. You haven't treated me for a while, and I deserve a fine dining," he expressed his logic –regardless of how disconnected it was.

"No. Stop. I don't want –"

He slowed down, and gave a slight stare to her. "The rich heiress is finally out of money? Oh well, we can go to a cheaper one down the street and –"

"No, Kamui. Stop," Soyo stressed out. " _This_ needs to stop."

There was a considerably much colder tone when Soyo said the line, and no matter how hungry Kamui was, he was quick in catching her drift. He stopped walking and turned his face to her. The arm slung around her shoulders still lingered, but even she could feel the slightest tense.

The face that looked down at her, however, was that of a smile. "Hmm?"

Now that they stopped walking (or he stopped dragging her), Soyo shifted away from him, letting his arm drop back to his side. Facing him and looking up, Soyo realized there was no use of prolonging it with a prologue, so she just declared the statement that she knew she should have said since a while ago. "Us," Soyo said one word that she did not bother to deny any longer. "Whatever it is that we have now, we need to stop. It needs to end."

Kamui's eyes widened the slightest, and for a nano-second, Soyo wanted to retract back what she just said –because, while she meant it, she did not particularly _want_ it. She nearly went against her resolve and was about to say a corrective words, but she refrained from doing so upon seeing Kamui's grinning face.

"Why stop something that never begins in the first place?"

Nothing about his words was particularly untrue –what was there that she expected to begin anyway? It was only a short fun time –a way to break out of the normalcy and tried something rather out of the box, which was never meant to last.

But something still gripped her chest when Kamui said that word, with that usual nonchalant attitude and the smile that always reached his eyes.

Her jaw tightened, but Soyo refused to show it. Exhaling a sigh, she decided, "You are right. I'm sorry for my wrong choice of words, but…" she trailed, finding it hard to actually remain composed. "You're right. No need to stop something that never began in the first place."

"Is it because of my sister?" he asked out of curiosity.

"Kagura-chan, and a lot of other reasons. The war our faction is still waging. Matters that I still need to focus on. My status. Your status. _You_ ," she sighed. "Even when I know you don't randomly kill people out of sheer fun nowadays, that won't change the fact that you are still…a villain."

Kamui shrugged and pocketed his hands. "It was quite fun, though. Quite an entertaining pastime during my stay on earth." Clicking his tongue, he added, "Too bad that I'd be losing my free-dinner access, but yeah, even I feel bad from robbing you off."

She forced herself to laugh at his statement. It sounded hollow and she wondered since when was she a bad actress. Soyo always lived up to her role and she wondered why it was at this time that her acting skill decreased when she was in most need of it. "I know it's given, but just for precaution purpose, I just want us to be on the same page that –"

"We are not to see each other again," Kamui finished up for her. "Don't worry. I get that."

It was much easier than she had imagined. Soyo had actually spent days trying to formulate words to say to him when this time came, and a part of her kind of expected resistance. A bigger part of her actually wished for his resistance –him being stubborn, him being selfish, him _wanting this_ to continue as much as she secretly wanted. To know how acceptable Kamui was to the idea, she suddenly felt like she really had been fooling herself around.

And while technically it was the best outcome she could have, she felt the unease started to cripple back.

And before she could stop it, she allowed a little honesty to slip off her lips –things that she would regret later on.

"Did it really mean nothing to you?" she asked, not wanting to look at him and found the ground below her to be a more interesting object to see instead. "Did it –"

Kamui interrupted her. "Hey, don't confuse yourself," he declared and she froze. Forcing herself to look up at him again, she found that he had dropped his smile. Looking at her with straight eyes, Kamui shrugged and asked her instead, "What do you want actually?"

Soyo felt a lump in her throat.

What she wanted was this madness. The thrill that she secretly found in Kamui, yet at the same time the serenity she would not have thought she would ever find in the presence of a murderer like him. What she wanted was for the world to stop listening and for it to be alright that she did the absurd thing –once in a while. What she wanted was for Kamui not to be a murderer and her not being a former princess in a dire need to save a nation. What she wanted was not labels, or confirmation, or relationship, what she wanted was just –

–him. But she could never, _ever_ say that.

And especially not when hedid _not_ want it.

She forced herself to be a good actress, just one last time.

"It doesn't matter, does it?" she said with a smile –hoping it would come across looking genuine enough. "We're not supposed to know what each of us wants. There's no reason for that."

"Guess you're right," Kamui agreed with a shrug. "Well," he announced as he turned his back around her and she felt like she wanted to see his face already. "Guess I'll be leaving then, brat. Good bye!" Kamui exclaimed as he cheerfully waved at her.

Before he walked away.

He never turned back.

Soyo waited on the alleyway, even after his figure disappeared, even after time passed, and she still couldn't believe that this was where it ended.

If it was not for Shinpachi calling her to ask whether she had arrived at the hospital or not, Soyo would probably spend the entire night standing there.

Her feet felt heavy but she reminded herself that she _really_ had a priority in life, and that this really was not the time to think about one mindless murderer who probably was not considering it as serious as she did. She shook her head due to the fact that it was actually hard not to relate anything to Kamui. She chanted the mantra to remind herself that this did not matter, and she shouldn't have been bothered by it, but the more she chanted it, the more depressed she became.

When she finally reached the hospital room, she lightly slapped her face with her palms.

She had priorities in life.

And she certainly could not face Shimura Tae with this kind of face.

"You'll forget it soon enough, Soyo," she whispered to herself, before she strengthened her will, entered the hospital, and took the step to the west wing where Shimura Tae's room was.

She was already on the fifth floor's west wing where Otae's room was, and was about to head to the last room in the corridor (which was as vacant as usual –those who still could not be freed from the white plague victims tended to be avoided), when she met the doctor who just came outside Tae's room.

"Are you visiting Shimura Tae?"

"…Yes," Soyo replied.

"She's been moved."

Soyo felt her heartbeats quickened. The incident with Kamui had made her momentarily forgotten about Shimura Tae's condition. And not during her turn to watch. If something bad happened to Otae when it was her turn to watch her, she would never know how she would ever face Shinpachi and Kondo again. "I-I've never heard about this."

"Her condition has gotten worse, and we're moving her to the special unit section."

"What?" Soyo stammered, panic rising to her senses. "What happened to Nee-san? Is she alright? Where is she? Why didn't the hospital let us know sooner?"

"We just finished with the treatment. But she's still in the ICU. She's sleeping now though, so you shouldn't worry."

It was impossible not to worry, but the doctor's assurance that Tae was already sleeping brought the littlest comfort to her mind. Soyo made a mental note to immediately call Shinpachi to let him know the development but before that, she wanted to see Tae Shimura first. "Can I visit her?"

"I think it'll be fine. She's in the east wing. You can just turn around and head to that direction," the doctor said as he pointed out to the opposite direction.

Nodding at the doctor and murmuring a soft gratitude, Soyo quickly turned around.

It was not a step she took, when she felt that her body was being pulled from behind and a handkerchief was roughly used to cover her mouth.

Her eyes widened and she tried to struggle free from the doctor's grasp, but her reflex was not fast enough. She felt her consciousness was fading.

She still could hear what the doctor ( _or was he?_ ) said.

"Your childish rebellion ends here, Tokugawa Soyo."

* * *

 **To be Continued**

* * *

 **A/n:** Going forward, there'll be more political-related sub-plots in this story, which may not be too appealing, but that's hopefully how I'll develop kamusoyo in this fic.


	18. Guilty Minds

**Guest #1 (GRadha5):** Thanks for reviewing! Here goes another 2-chapters upload again this week. I don't know if it's intense enough, but I hope you can enjoy it. And ahaha, two messed up people, thanks for putting it that way: exactly that's my thought on Kamusoyo, hehe

 **Guest#2:** Thank you for reviewing!

* * *

 **What Pumps the Blood (Faster)**

 **Chapter 18 – Guilty Minds**

* * *

Once Soyo finally opened her eyes and saw those foreign faces, she quickly accepted that this was inevitable and probably it should have happened much earlier.

"Good morning, Hime-sama. Did you get a nice sleep?"

The room smelled dusty and hollow. She supposed that she was in some sort of an warehouse in God knew where. She was seated on a wooden chair; the movement of her limbs were clearly restricted as she realized her arms were bound to the back of the chair and her legs were tied together. Soyo lifted her face again and saw that there were four men in front of her, another dozen were scattered inside that spacious warehouse, and possibly, another battalion was guarding outside the abandoned warehouse.

"...Been on a better bed," she replied in a tone as calm as she could muster.

"Well, get used to this one then. This place would probably be your home for some time," replied one skinny man who seemed to be the leader of these kidnappers.

"I thought you would send me to a better home in heaven?" Soyo gave the bait –trying to know what they wanted from her.

"Eventually yes," agreed the man. "For now, you'd need to serve other purposes, though."

Soyo sighed. "In case you live under the rock for the past five years, you might need to know that I am no longer the princess of Edo. There's no use of keeping me hostage."

"You know very well that even without that status, you are still one valuable hostage, Hime-sama," said the man. "In fact, see? I still respect you enough to call you our princess, don't I?"

"What value do I have for you?" Soyo asked. She might have spent her life as a princess being trapped in Edo castle, but kidnapping attempts were no new things for her. The corner of her eyes tried to study the room and her captors. There was no symbol or flags to identify who these people were nor did any of them wear any sort of uniform or emblem. But now that she was no longer a rich princess who could be used to get her brother pay a handsome ransom, Soyo knew that these kidnappers were not after money –she was to serve purpose as a hostage for the anti-government forces. "Are you from the Hitotsubashi faction?" she asked, though she failed to identify any Hitotsubashi insignia on any of them.

"We're not that worthy to be called as one," said the leader. "But you'll make the Hitotsubashi acknowledge us."

"So you're offering my head as a present to raise your status in the Hitotsubashi," concluded Soyo.

"Yes and no. We do want the Hitotsubashi to acknowledge us, but don't flatter yourself _that_ much, Hime-sama," snickered the leader. "The head of the last Tokugawa heiress is of course a valuable addition to the Hitotsubashi's heads collection, but your association with the rebel force is our main purpose."

Soyo decided that apparently her role was that of Kondo's: to have her executed so that these men could lure the Shinsengumi and the other Joui Patriots out and butchered them all.

As if reading what she thought, the skinny man in front of her shrugged. "Though we deeply respect the Hitotsubashi, we will not repeat their same mistake," he pointed out. "Publicly executing an important figure to fry more fishes was reckless. We do not have force as much as the Hitotsubashi have, and we know that if we publicly execute you, we will be finished by your force in no time."

Soyo frowned. "Then?"

The leader grabbed another chair beside Soyo to her front and sat on it, facing her as if they were in some sort of a (unilateral) negotiation. "You know... We are peace loving samurais. Edo has witnessed too many wars and many civilians have died as a result. And don't you dare put the blame on the Hitotsubashi faction alone, because you know the Joui Patriots are responsible in some, if not most of the riots."

"Katsura-san never intentionally directed any attack towards civilians. The Joui patriots took precautionary measures to evacuate civilians from war's proximity to the best extent they could," Soyo clarified. "Although of course, there is only a lesser evil in war, and I'm not claiming our side has never shed any blood."

"Which is why, Hime-sama, don't you think it's time for a truce?"

Soyo silently stared at the man and evaluated the situation she had. Relaxing her own posture (as much as she could in her bounded position), she then stated, "I would have believed this offer more if you weren't showing this hostility to me."

"I don't know about the Joui patriots, but do you think your brother would appreciate this kind of endless battle?"

The mention of her brother froze something in her back bone. Soyo knew her brother well enough to realize that her brother, _if_ he could, would choose peace than war any day, and Soyo realized where this captor was trying to lead the conversation to. Still, the years had strengthened her heart more to always give the benefit of the doubt. "Aniue-sama probably would prefer to have a truce."

"Precisely. So –"

"But you're not negotiating with my brother. You're negotiating with me."

The edge of the leader's eyebrow rose in the mildest surprise, before he allowed a soft chuckle to come out of his lips and said, "So the rumor is true, eh? The puppet princess is truly the one merciless enough to wage war at all cost?"

"I wouldn't, under different circumstances," Soyo stressed out. "But it's the Hitotsubashi we're facing. And I know no one who plays tyrant better than Nobunobu does. That man does not care for this nation. Which is why waving our white flag for him is never an option. And besides," Soyo sighed as she leaned back. "I don't know what is it the rumor about me, but if you think my agreement for a truce will represent the voice of the Shinsengumi or the Joui Patriots, then you are wrong. After all, like all you have believed, I _am_ just that puppet princess."

"Correct," the man snapped his fingers. "You are no Kondo. You are no Katsura. You hold little to none value in battle, and your political position has never been important enough. Yet still," he smiled as he cupped her chin. Soyo refrained herself from staring away or shifting from his touch, because this was her way to show him that she was not deterred. "Yet still, you are the last lineage of the Tokugawa. You are a puppet princess, true, but you are still a symbol. You know why Hitotsubashi faction never successfully eradicates all of you?"

She knew why. And it alarmed her that this man actually knew it as well.

"It's because you join forces. The Joui Patriots. The Iga ninjas. The Shinsengumi and the Matsudaira faction. The ex Tokugawa loyalists. Hitotsubashi would not have a hard time killing each of you, but they would never stand the chance so long that these four forces are joined together for the same purpose of destroying the Hitotsubashi."

Soyo felt dread started to creep into her system. This man was not like the clueless Nobunobu. And she knew this type of man. Soyo's uncle, Sadasada shared the same trait –it was not merely cruelty, perhaps none of it, yet it was something equally as dangerous.

Manipulation.

"And give yourself more credit, Hime-sama," the man said as she patted her shoulders. "These four forces would not have been solid force for these past five years if they do not have one common symbol. And that symbol is none other than you."

Soyo gritted her teeth. This was bad. This man was leading the game, she knew it.

"Any Tokugawa member would obviously held control over Shinsengumi and the Tokugawa loyalists. But fact that you could gain the support from your former enemies, Katsura and his force, as well as maintaining your ties on the ever-fickle Iga ninjas –which, I know, despite Tokugawa's confiscated assets, you still keep your assets overseas to make sure constant payment to Iga is running on a long term basis… well, let's say that you happen to be the element that ties these forces together."

"…What do you want from me?" Soyo hissed –regretting that it sounded more like a whisper than a challenge. She could understand where this man was leading this talk to. And Soyo did not like it one bit.

"Simple. You just need to betray each of their trusts," the man said with a satisfied smile. "By declaring that you are choosing to ally with the Hitotsubashi instead."

"There's no way I would do that," Soyo declared. She knew what this man was trying, and what goal he was aiming. For the past five years, Soyo had tried to make her role as insignificant as possible (and it truly was, she believed. She gave no contribution to the fights, and battle strategists were always Katsura's, Hijikata's, Matsudaira's and Momo's roles). But she was not that oblivious not to realize that, as immaterial her position as a symbol was, it was the very same symbol that contributed to the great reminder of how they had to maintain peace among the factions.

Soyo knew it was not her as herself, but her as a Tokugawa –the last lineage, the proxy of the real symbol loved by all: Tokugawa Shigeshige.

That was why she skillfully played the role of a messenger –connecting Iga with Katsura, or liaising the delivery of Tokuga forces to Shinsengumi when they were chased by the government. Everything the man said had been rather correct: Matsudaira and Shinsengumi always listened to her; she always made sure she had enough assets to allow her to keep the highest bid for the Iga ninjas, and her status as Shigeshige's little sister had made Katsura trusted her.

Throughout the years, Soyo had maintained her neutral positions among the four factions. For her to break their trusts, for her to shatter and have the symbol to be crushed…

Her jaw tightened again. She glared at the man in front of him and hated the fact that he still had that triumphant smile on his face.

Deciding on her luck, she tried to negotiate again. "May I know your name?"

The man chuckled. "It's an honor to let you know, Hime-sama. I am Toshio."

"Toshio-san," Soyo began. "You do think too highly of me. A symbol is merely a symbol. It is never their values. The factions that we have gathered, they might have unconsciously been connected through me, but that does not mean that I am the embodiment for their forces."

The corner of Toshio's eye twitched and Soyo decided to push her luck more. "They're not fighting for me. They're not fighting because of me. They're fighting because of the common ground that they know someone else needs to lead the country, and that's not Nobunobu. Even if you kill me, even if you make me betray them, I am," she shrugged and smiled mischievously. "After all, just a puppet princess. With or without the common flag, they would still have one same goal."

"A war is not lost by the weak. A war is lost by internal disturbance. External factors contribute, but organization will shatter if it's not strong."

"True. But I believe in each of them. If you think that they will stop the war, or fight among themselves if I betray them, then you're wrong," Soyo affirmed. "Well, probably they will, _after_ they defeat Nobunobu. That's another issue we can think of after we have your favorite Hitotsubashi faction's head off."

"It's a bet. Who do you think will scramble first? You don't even have to play a hard role, Hime-sama. Just sign a treaty we have prepared to be signed by you and the Hitotsubashi, show your face to the public and testify that it is truly your signature in the treaty, and that's it. Your role is done. We'd even offer you protection if afterwards your own forces will hunt for your head instead."

Soyo smiled. "I'd rather offer my head now rather than to betray my comrades."

Toshio sighed. "This conversation is taking too long. If you still think that you have a choice in this, Hime-sama, you're wrong. Bring her."

At the instruction, Soyo prepared herself for the worst –that she would be dragged forcefully to face Nobunobu or something.

She did not expect the door behind her to creak open and more noises came to her hearing. Her bounded figure disabled her from looking back and found out what was going on, but she was bound to know eventually.

Now dull, familiar purple hair came into sight. Soyo might not have seen this person for more than two years, but she knew she would recognize _her_ anywhere. She felt the nausea return to her stomach when she realized what other weapon Toshio had in store to force her.

Two men dropped the lump of the beaten body in front of Soyo and the raven-haired girl could not hide her aghast when the red glasses fell to the floor just as the body did.

"Sacchan?!"

* * *

"Ah, I am stuffed!" Kamui declared happily as he exited the restaurant.

"Yeah, and I am broke," Abuto tonelessly remarked as he walked beside his captain out of the restaurant.

Kamui grinned. "Don't be stingy, Abuto. It has always been your job to make sure your Captain does not suffer from malnutrition."

"I seem to depend on the little miss too much all these time," Abuto responded. "I feel bad that she has to pay for your food expenses."

"Well, starting from now, that role is yours again."

Abuto caught things quickly. He stopped walking and stared at his captain. Kamui ignored it, and Abuto reminded himself that there was nothing to be surprised of. Shaking his head, he then resumed his steps and walked alongside his captain again as they headed towards the ex Shinsengumi headquarter which became his permanent establishment on earth.

Apparently, Abuto was not as ignorant and careless as he thought himself was. Ah, perhaps spending too much time with these brats had made him a bit childish and nosy too.

It was at the few steps away from the Shinsengumi headquarter's gate that Abuto asked his captain the question. "So what happened finally between you and little miss?"

Kamui nearly laughed at Abuto's antics and how obvious the older man had pretended not to care. He waited until they got inside the Shinsengumi's headquarter premises, sat on the terrace and had Abuto sat beside him. Even until then, Kamui actually playfully delayed responding –wanting to know until when Abuto's patience would last.

It did not last long, because after a minute of sitting in silence, Abuto asked again, "Well?"

Kamui opened the can of soda he got from the mini fridge (the remains stocked by Soyo the last two week –under Kamui's command of course. He did take her for granted) and drank it. He shuddered at the biting sensation in his throat before he played with the half-full can and finally responded. "Nothing happens. Nothing has ever happened in the first place anyway."

Abuto cast a sideway glance, before he huffed a sigh and stared at the unkempt garden in front of his sight. "Even if there is nothing now, at least appreciate her enough by acknowledging that there was something between you two in the past."

"But there really was and is nothing, though?" asked Kamui as he stretched his arms and laid on the wooden floor of the terrace. The autumn night wind blew, but he liked it when the weather was slightly cooler like this anyway. "I mean, I did enjoy being treated with foods whenever I wish for it, and I admit that the brat is quite easy to talk to, but those are not the things I need," he said as he fluttered his eyes close –enjoying the way the breeze was cooling his head. "Well, gonna miss the treat, but that's what you're here for. And you're easy to talk to as well."

"But you don't look at me with that kind of gaze."

"That sounds wrong and weird, you know. I don't play in that field."

Abuto groaned because it did sound wrong and he did not mean it to go to _that_ direction. Regardless of his wrong choice of words, Abuto still insisted in getting his point crossed. "You know what I mean, Captain."

Kamui slowly opened his eyes and said instead, "I know what you're trying to make me say, but really, Abuto," he chuckled. "It's not that romantic anyway."

"You found something in her," Abuto insisted. "Even if it's not romantic, it's something beyond that. It's –"

"Abuto, what are you? A love guru?"

"Captain –"

"You know what," Kamui announced as he pulled his body up to a sitting position again. The seemingly eternal smile disappeared from the young man's face as he sat cross-legged and challenged his own subordinate. "I don't like heavy stuffs. I am only here for fun. Earth has little fight to offer, and I told you I saw that girl only as a way to past time. And it has to end, I don't have any expectation beyond wanting to know how long could she entertain me. She served her purpose already, and I have no further use of her."

Abuto stared at his captain for a while, before he shifted his gaze. "…You're sure about what you just said?"

"Positive," Kamui easily announced. "And geez, make up your mind. You were the one who told me to stop all of this in the past, weren't you?"

At that, Abuto could only exhale a defeated sigh.

The captain was always right.

* * *

"No! Don't do that to Sacchan! Stop it! Stop it, I demand you! Stop it!" Soyo screamed at the top of her lungs, but even her scream could not mute those awful sounds: the dull kicking, sharp jabbing, throaty groans and broken bones. Soyo could not see well but she did not need to see that at least six men were surrounding Sarutobi Ayame –each inflicting more and more pain to the poor, young girl. At one point, Soyo turned her face from the unsightly view, her teeth were gritted in anger and frustration.

Toshio stood behind Soyo's chair and forced the girl's face to look straight ahead again to the sight of the cruel torture they did to Sarutobi.

"Peace-loving samurai?! The hell, you are one cruel bastard!" Soyo screamed.

"Peace can only be achieved with sacrifice, Hime-sama. You know this the most. You and I are the types of people who do not mind being the lesser kind of evil, but evil still."

"If you lay a hand on Sacchan again, I will never ever agree to your proposal."

"Hmm. Which means that if I promise not to hurt this shinobi again, you will agree to our proposal?"

Before Soyo could respond, a soft, beaten voice came from the mess in front of the former princess.

"Don't listen to him, Hime-sama," Sarutobi slowly slurred. "This doesn't hurt at all. I am trained my w-whole life to endure this. It's okay," the older girl assured –unconvincingly. And not that anyone should blame Sacchan. It was a feat enough to be able to formulate a coherent sentence when one's skin was being torn by a long knife.

"Sacchan!" Soyo howled. "Stop this, bastard! Release Sacchan!"

"Hime-sama, it's alright…" Sacchan stil pled. "I-I'm a masochist, r-remember?" Sarutobi grinned, and when she did so, a molar fell. The fire did not die on the kunoichi's eyes. With the poise and determination only those trained as hard as Sarutobi was had, the purple-haired girl only glared at the people surrounding her and gave a challenging smirk. "But you think this hurts me? It's not enough, _Masters,_ " she mocked. "This does nothing to even thrill me."

One of Toshio's men knelt down and grabbed Sarutobi's head. With nearly an earnest stare, he said, "Would this thrill you then?"

He banged Sarutobi's head to the floor.

Soyo shut her eyes and screamed –wanting to help her friend, but she was always so useless in this kind of thing. Soyo's body lunged forward out of reflex, but she was still bound to the chair, and inevitably, she fell to the floor, still tied to the chair and the chair on top of her. It hurt to fall in such position, but Soyo knew this was nothing in comparison to what Sarutobi felt.

"Leave Sacchan alone! Please!" Soyo screamed –her jaw hurt now that it had collided with the cold, roughly cemented floor..

"Hime-sama, strengthen yourself. You are Shigeshige's little sister, aren't you?" Sacchan tearfully whispered. "I'll be fine. Do not worry about me."

It was impossible not to worry. Not when Sacchan was treated like some animals.

Now that both girls were laying on the floor, Sarutobi could see the princess as well. She smiled weakly –regretting how she still lacked the strength, even after all these years. She failed protecting the princess' brother, her own best friend. And now she was going to fail again. The humiliation suffocated her and Sarutobi hated herself for that.

"I understand you need time to think, princess," stated Toshio as he bent down and pulled the chair back to its position. "The public broadcast for your betrayal act is in three days, but we have to broadcast the preview tomorrow night. You have time to think until then." Toshi gazed at the princess and wiped the blood that gushed out of her chin. "And as a mere symbol, you should present yourself as one. We will not allow you looking like you are forced to do this on broadcast, alright?"

Toshio instructed the men to treat Soyo's little cut and said nothing to Sarutobi's clearly much graver wounds. The difference of treatment (and the realization of the true life of a puppet) made Soyo embarrassed. One man quickly knelt beside her, cleaned her little cut and applied some salve to it before he wrapped it with bandage.

"Please treat Sacchan too," Soyo begged –tears on her eyes.

"No. Live with that guilt, Hime-sama. Everyone must make sacrifice, correct? And this is the price you have to pay," Toshio assured. "You are to be dressed properly with the finest silk and the most expensive ornaments, while you are to step on your comrades' corpses and you can only gaze at their hateful stares as they realize how you betray them."

Soyo stared in horror at Toshio's face. His men slowly walked out of the warehouse, leaving Sarutobi untreated. Toshio smiled cruelly as he reminded the princess.

"And you of course, may cry, princess. If you are that shameful to only be able to cry when your friends have to suffer because of you."

Soyo bit her lip hard enough to draw blood in order to stifle her cries. She hated involuntarily following Toshio's words, but there were truths in it. If she did cry there and then, she was going to be yet another ungrateful kid.

"…We have our roles, Hime-sama."

So surprised was Soyo to hear another voice in that vacant warehouse that she exclaimed immediately. "Sacchan?! You're alive?" A relieved tear wanted to escape the corner of her eyes, but she promised herself not to cry that night, so she shut her eyes tight to stop the tears from falling. "…Are you alright?" she fearfully asked –knowing for sure that there was no way Sarutobi could have been alright.

"No one is able to inflict me pain as good as Gin-san," Sarutobi trailed, forcing a maniacal, stalker-ish laugh to come.

It sounded hollow, and Soyo cursed under her breath to know that even Sarutobi had to lie that way.

"…I'm sorry, Sacchan."

"Why, Hime-sama? It is our role. We are trained for this. Don't worry. We are shinobis and it is our job to –"

"Don't say that. I order you," Soyo interrupted. If this woman had been just another shinobi, or someone Soyo did not know, perhaps Soyo could force herself to be the monster that she was and actually shrugged the matter off. But this was Sarutobi Ayame. The last defense her dear brother had. The people that her brother could proudly call his best friends. His beloved Oniwabanshuu. She was not just anyone. Soyo knew how precious Sarutobi Ayame was to her brother, and anyone precious to her brother was precious to her too. "What would I say to Aniue-sama, if I allow his important person be treated this way? I wouldn't have the face to –"

"Likewise, Hime-sama," slowly cut Sarutobi. "What would I say to Shogun-sama that I have to put his dearest sister in this position? I apologize for my incapability. I should not have been caught. I… I should have died and –" she paused.

Soyo widened her eyes because she could guess what Sarutobi was thinking. Dreadfully, Soyo threatened, "I swear, Sacchan, if you try to kill yourself now, I'll never forgive you." Strengthening herself, Soyo exclaimed. "You are a shinobi, not a samurai. You are not to die for your master. You are here to simply follow your master's order. And if you still consider me your master, I order you not to die. You hear me?"

Sarutobi chuckled softly. "You've grown a lot, Hime-sama."

"Sacchan –"

"…You're right. You are my master, and I am just a shinobi who follows your order. I will not kill myself, I promise."

"Thank you –"

"But you haven't paid me. We are soldiers on hire, remember?"

Soyo nodded earnestly. "Anything you ask. Just name the amount, I will –"

"Not money," Sacchan weakly smiled. "I'll just receive your promise as a payment."

"…"

Sacchan slowly fluttered her eyes close. It had been a long day and she was exhausted as well. "Promise me. Promise me that you will not do what that man wants. Even if you have to be a monster and let me die, promise me, you will not waste the efforts we all have made all these years, alright, Hime-sama?"

Soyo laughed bitterly.

"…That's a damn expensive price, isn't it?"

* * *

Kamui slept better with noises.

Perhaps it had something to do with his childhood –where he was to be awakened due to either his sister's hungry cries, or her mother's cough, or the fight occurring just outside the thin walls of his old house. Joining Harusame subsequently did nothing to correct the habit –men, when gathered together, were really more talkative than girls, especially since those bunches of idiots drank a lot every night and would always have something to bicker about until three in the morning. He had been accustomed to this, to the extent that he was even at unrest if he was to sleep in silence. Besides, the last time he had a really good, uninterrupted sleep, was the night where his mother died on her sleep. No one would die on him anymore, but it was still uncomfortable to sleep in a complete silence.

Ever since he was thrown out by his sister from the Yorozuya household months prior and stayed at the ever vacant Shinsengumi headquarter, he tried to maintain the habit by turning some noises on: radio, television, anything that would keep the night on and he would be lulled to sleep eventually.

It had not been that way that night.

The television was turned on, and even with Abuto sleeping in the same room with him (and this was equivalent to loud snoring from his subordinate), Kamui still couldn't fall into slumber. His body was rather tired and it was not as if he had anything bothering his mind in particular, but he just could not sleep.

The birds started to chirp outside and he realized that the morning had come already. He groaned. He slept worse in broad daylight. Well, he knew that it was not as if he had any major activity that would require him to move out of the premise. In fact, he could just lay there all the way he wanted while Abuto was tasked to find the next spaceship schedule bound to…anywhere else besides earth.

It was a pity that the earth policeman had not been in Edo. Well, Kamui could, if he wanted, track Okita Sougo down and challenged him to the five-year-due fight. A part of him, however, was not as ecstatic as he thought he would be with the presentation of the idea. Kagura would be one thing, and the other –

 _There is no other reason_ , he reminded himself, in slight irritation. He did not like the way his mind worked lately. Kamui appreciated surprises, but the fact that his own mind was surprising him lately was not really welcomed.

The annoying theme song of morning cardio exercise came from the television, and Kamui could feel Abuto shifted in discomfort, though still in his sleep.

"Turn it off, Captain," slurred Abuto –dropping the usual respecting tone he had for his captain.

Out of sheer curiosity, Kamui turned the volume up instead –earning him more groans from the sleeping bundle that was Abuto. The younger man chuckled, before he decided that after nearly seven hours trying, it was impossible to sleep. The laughing from the local kids outside the Shinsengumi premise on their way to school could already be heard (his hearing was the best, still). Concluding that he had to give up the idea of sleeping, Kamui pushed the blanket off him and jumped to his feet. He just found out the nearby market that opened every Tuesday morning –the foods sold there were majestic. He could just check it out.

Done with braiding his hair, his hand was about to reach out the sliding door's handle to open it, when the door opened itself for him.

Had it not been for his awfully excellent reflex, it would have been a rather comedic sight to have the sliding door fall upon him. But Kamui took a step aside in the right second, allowing the door to fall on the sleeping Abuto instead. The old man was getting rusty.

And from the now ajar door, was a girl whose traits resembled him the most –none other than his own sister. But contrary to his laid-back facial expression, the younger sibling was practically fuming –her face was nearly as bright as her hair.

"Good morning, Sister. So rare to see you here," greeted the older brother.

Kagura was not one to greet with pleasantries. Without wasting a second, the girl took a step inside the room, grabbed Kamui's collars and snapped at him with gritted teeth. "What did you do, bastard?"

Kamui never appreciated his sister's temperament, but perhaps years of knowing her had made him a relatively more patient brother. "What did I do?"

"Where is she?!" hissed Kagura; angry glint on her clear blue eyes. "Where's Soyo-chan?!"

"Look, just because you caught us once, that doesn't mean that the brat is my Siamese twin," Kamui pointed out as he forcefully pried Kagura's grip around his collars. "How would I know where she is? She stays with you all the time."

"S-she doesn't come back home last night."

There was a sudden thump in his gut. Funny. Kamui hoped this did not come across on his expression.

Kagura's shoulders trembled. Abuto finally fully woke up and he stood up behind his captain. "Little miss? What happened?"

"S-Soyo-chan," Kagura whispered. "Soyo-chan did not come home. I-I don't know where she is now."

"…And what's the deal?" interrupted Kamui as he scratched his head –content enough that he was already able to control himself this second. "Perhaps the brat realizes that you have been such a gluttonous and annoying roommate and decided to run away from you?" Kamui gave the option. "And why the hell are you barging into someone's room so early in the morning for such nonsense that I have no involvement of –"

"If you lie, I'm going to hate you," Kagura interrupted.

Kamui gave a dry laugh. "As if you haven't hated me already," he said with a shrug. "Anyway, I really don't know where the brat is," he confirmed. "I admit that I did meet her yesterday, but there was nothing extraordinary. I believe that she was in her way to the hospital and I can tell that the brat must have gone back there after our encounter. Perhaps you should look at the hos –"

"Soyo-chan did not visit Anego at all yesterday," stuttered Kagura. "A-and Soyo-chan might be playful, but she has never run away from her duties to keep watch of Anego. And that's why it's impossible that she did not come a-and –"

Kamui only laid his hand on Kagura's shoulders to brush her off his way out of the room. "Whatever it is, that brat is not my problem. And you should stop assuming that –"

"How the hell could you be so calm?!"

"And why should I be panicked in the first place?" Kamui retorted –hating that, in fact, he was starting to lose his cool –his tone raised and the discomfort still coiled at the pit of his stomach.

"I knew you were only playing with Soyo-chan! I knew it, yet I still wished that you would have the decency to _care_ for one bit and –"

"Captain, miss," Abuto's distinctive heavy voice interrupted the sibling's quarrel, and Abuto nearly flinched when two pairs of angry blue eyes were suddenly directed to him. Clearing his throat, he shifted his position and pointed to the still turned on television. "I think you two should see this."

No longer was there the monotone morning exercise show –what was broadcasted was a breaking news –a female presenter delivering her short prologue, before the screen shifted to the image of a young girl that had been the topic of the debate that early in the morning.

" _People of Edo_ ," _announced the young former princess in the live broadcast. "My name is Tokugawa Soyo and I have an important announcement to make."_

* * *

 **To be Continued**

* * *

 **A/n:** My so-called promise of boring political-influenced chapters. Bear it with me, I'll get back to romance soon, but my mind stubbornly insists that I have to include these scenes for Soyo's sake.

And another announcement: starting from the next update, I'm going to change this story's rating into 'M', so you won't probably find this story on the page again. And no, before any of your perverted minds can flourish, there will be no smut in the next chapter (though there _will_ be smut somehwere, haha). I apologize in advance if the smut will make you uncomfortable, but aside from wanting my OTP to bang each other, I have other technical consideration as well. I guess you can skip the smut part if you can't or don't want to read it.


	19. Sadists

**A/n:** 2 chapters again this week, so go to Chapter 18 for where the last time this story left you.

* * *

 **What Pumps the Blood (Faster)**

 **Chapter 19 – Sadists**

* * *

Upon the end of the short live broadcast by Edo's former princess (which informed nothing much except that the said girl would make an official announcement the night after –much of a tease), Kagura, already distracted as she was, made a dash out of the room in the Shinsengumi's headquarter. Abuto's gaze lingered for a while on the television –which was now back to display the boring morning cardio exercise –before he sighed and made his way to the door (or the remains of it).

"Let's go, Captain."

Kamui slowly lifted his face and stared at his much taller subordinate. "Go where?"

Taken aback, Abuto questioned in disbelief, "Aren't we going to do something about this? The fact that the little princess made such uncharacteristic announcement means that she was not under her will to do so, and that could very well mean she is in the custody of our opponent force and –"

" _Whose_ opponent force, Abuto?" asked Kamui pleasantly with his trademark smile.

Stuttered only for a second, the sandy brown-haired man cleared his throat. "I know it's the little miss' and their friends' fight. But even without the fight, the princess' safety is not guaranteed now and we need –"

"And since when do we bother with these affairs, Abuto?" Kamui challenged again. To Abuto's bewilderment, the orange haired man only sat back down on the tatami floor, his arms were extended behind him to support his sitting posture as he looked up at Abuto. "Don't get confused. You have been brainwashed by my sister and her friends enough to meddle with affairs that aren't ours to begin with."

There was surprise on Abuto's eyes, mixed with the barest sign of embarrassment. "…It may not be our problems. But I _care_."

Kamui blinked. And as Abuto made not a single corrective statement, the younger lad began to laugh. " _Seriously,_ Abuto? You're not eating something weird? You're not drunk?"

"I am perfectly sober, Captain."

The laughter died, but the air of nonchalance in Kamui remained. "Abuto…" Kamui began with a tone as if he was going to reprimand a troublesome kid and did not know where to begin. "We're villains. We're murderers. We're the epitome of evil. Hell, even we fit the antagonistic roles way more than the little princess' enemies. What, are you saying you want to mend ways now? Don't make me laugh. Accept the fact. We are the last resources in the galaxy to do heroic thing."

"It's not about redemption," Abuto countered. "I don't particularly give shit to the rebellion. But I like the little miss and I know for sure that I don't like the fact that she's not where she is supposed to be. I care, Captain. And I thought you t –"

"Don't group me with a melancholic freak like you," decided Kamui with a sudden drop of tone. "Fine. Do whatever you want. Go save the damsel in distress. Be the national hero. I don't care so long that you don't drag me into the mess."

"…I thought better of you, Captain," announced Abuto a moment before he dashed out of the Shinsengumi premise to follow Kagura's trail.

Kamui laughed hollowly before he laid his back on the futon again.

"And I thought better of you as well, Abuto."

* * *

The look on Sarutobi's eyes was so sharp –even with the bruises and narrow gaze she had due to the punching to her face. It was an unpleasant sight –not Sarutobi's face nor the bravery and loyalty she proved with it, but the hidden angry glint the shinobi had on her eyes when Soyo made her entrance back to their prison.

"…I thought you promised not to do what he wanted, Hime-sama?" Sarutobi asked, her voice chilly.

Soyo maintained her facial expression unchanged as she sat on the prison ground. The guard slammed the door hard and locked it before he wordlessly exited the dungeon. After she was sure that they were left alone in the very poorly lit prison, Soyo spoke again, "Technically, I've never promised you that, Sacchan."

Even with bruised limbs and broken bones, Sarutobi quickly rose to her knees and reached out for Soyo's hands. The blood from her bruises had mostly dried up, but they still marred Sarutobi's skin like tattoos. Soyo refrained herself from making any expression.

"You can't do this to us," whispered Sarutobi with horror in her eyes. "If you sign that treaty, if you, _you,_ of all people, announce your allegiance to the Hitotsubashi, it's the end!" Sarutobi hiccupped. "Too many, _too many_ souls have been lost in the war, Hime-sama. My soul, my body is of no worth and you cannot –"

"You know why I fight, Sacchan?" Soyo interrupted.

Sarutobi said nothing but she stared at Soyo.

Soyo sighed, remembering of all times the conversation she had with Kamui in front of her brother's grave. It was not until that time when Kamui asked that Soyo truly realized her true motive. Kamui was always fine with her being monster, being less virtuous than she actually was. It was the morbid kind of accepting her for who she was. Soyo understood this now, and as awful it would sound, Sarutobi needed to understand.

"I don't really care for politics, Sacchan," Soyo started. "I know from the beginning that even if we do win this war, peace will not come easily. After one overthrows a government, another revolt will ensue to decide who the real leader of this country is. I trust Katsura-san, I trust Matsudaira-san, the Shinsengumi, the Iga, I trust them all and how they have one common objective. But war is endless. It does not stop at victory, Sacchan. And for that reason, even I believe that this war is pointless. Even I know my brother, deep inside, does not want any war to happen."

"Then why –"

"It's a much selfish reason, really," Soyo trailed slowly. "This war. This fight… it's the only reason why people would always remember my brother."

"…"

"I'm not a noble woman. I hold no virtuous value. I am not my brother. But I love my brother dearly. To the point that I'd do anything, so people will remember my brother's kindness, my brother's image. To make people realize that my brother, even after his death, is the best leader this country ever has. And because this is for my brother," Soyo slowly said as she carefully held Sarutobi's hand in hers. "I'm not going to sacrifice people I know is important for him, or it will all be futile."

Sarutobi shook her head. "No. No, you don't _understand_ anything, Hime-sama. Your brother… Your brother would have known which side to take. Your brother would not hesitate to have a few of his friends die in order to save the nation. Kagemaru... Kagemaru died for your brother. And that was the choice your brother made. A choice you should make again this time –"

"I knew he did that," Soyo slowly said. "But I also know how he would not want the same thing to happen again."

Sarutobi let herself fall to the floor. She stared at Soyo in disbelief, shook her head, and made her decision.

Soyo knew what Sarutobi had in mind.

Before Sarutobi could bite her own tongue and kill herself, Soyo forcefully jabbed her finger inside Sarutobi's mouth. It sting slightly when Sarutobi's teeth gnawed onto Soyo's index and middle fingers instead. Frustrated, Sarutobi screamed and tried to pry Soyo's fingers off her mouth, but even before the older girl could do that, Soyo shouted.

"Guards! Guards!"

Sarutobi cried in anger upon knowing what Soyo was trying to do. Not a few moments after, three guards rushed back into the dungeon and Soyo wasted no moment to say what she had to say.

"This kunoichi tries to kill herself again," Soyo explained calmly –a stark contrast to the panicked muffles from Sarutobi. "Gag her mouth and bind her limbs so that she won't be able to do anything," the former princess mandated.

Blinking at the order for a while, the guards then looked at each other before they decided that their hostage's request was the most favorable one for their position. Collecting the necessities, the guards then barged into the cell to tie Sarutobi's arms and limbs and quickly insert a gag ball and secure it before Sarutobi could throw it out.

Sarutobi's muffled groans echoed in the humid cell room as she protested wildly to the guards' action, and foremost, to the former princess' action.

Delicately wiping her own blood on her kimono, Soyo only glanced cynically at the angry Sarutobi and with a smile that held no sincerity in it, she announced, "You may be a masochist, Sacchan. But you also forget that I am a natural born sadist."

* * *

"Sadaharu, come on! You can do better than this! How could you fail again this time?!" Kagura screamed at the poor dog as it was yet again another failed guess on sniffing where Soyo could have been. Kagura had not slept a wink, and she had spent nearly 24 hours trying to locate where her best friend was. The exhaustion and frustration got the best of her and the poor Sadaharu had to be the object of her pent-up frustration.

"China, it's not your dog's fault," Okita Sougo muttered behind her. "Calm down, geez."

There was her second object of frustration. Grabbing the collars of Okita's red shirt, Kagura gritted her teeth and snapped at him. "Calm down? How can I calm down where Soyo-chan is?! She could have been executed! She could have been –"

"Not yet," Okita assured as he pried Kagura's hands off his shirt. "They will not kill Hime-sama until she carries her role." Okita stole a quick glance on the sky. It was dusk, and the morning sun would rise soon. They had less than 24 hours to find Tokugawa Soyo.

"And you know we can't let her do that," whispered Kagura. "I don't know what the announcement will be, but it must have been something that benefits the Hitotsubashi. And even if the Hitotsubashi releases Soyo-chan after that, you know she will be labeled as a traitor and there will be _more_ people who want her head."

"Matsudaira-san and the Shinsengumi will not do that. And I'm sure Katsura will never allow that as well," Sougo reasoned. He did not mention that there was still a very likely possibility the other extremists in their faction would do something radical to Soyo afterwards, but it was not something that he could say to the panicked Kagura at the moment.

And as calm as Okita presented himself to be, it did not mean that he completely get hold of the situation. They were given much lesser time to locate where Soyo Tokugawa was. And unlike the one with Kondo months prior, this time, the Bakufu or whoever was it truly hid her whereabouts. They had mobilized their forces throughout the country to identify her likely presence, and had tried to trace where the earlier television broadcast signal was from, all to no avail. There was simply no clue, and even their spies in Edo castle reported that Soyo was not sighted there –Nobunobu clearly did not keep her by his side, which made the guessing all more difficult.

"If Soyo-chan dies, I-I…" Kagura sniffed beside him.

Sougo glanced momentarily at the girl, and after a sigh, he decided to just do what he thought he could do at that time. "Hime-sama will not die that easy, trust her more," Okita said as he pulled Kagura into a calming embrace, secretly wishing that Kagura's presence would calm his anxious heart as well.

* * *

Ever since she knew the Bakufu government was going after her head as well, Soyo had stopped wearing expensive kimonos so as not to attract attention. It felt kind of weird that these people were trying to make her wear this get-up again, but after all, they needed her looking as if she was not under force. And people had to look good on broadcasts.

Sarutobi weakly gazed up at how the former princess was changing her much more modest kimono with one that would suit her royal bloodline more. The broadcast was to begin in an hour and Soyo was really going with this.

"…You're still mad at me?" Soyo asked Sarutobi as she put the next layer of kimono on. She had just finished talking to Nobunobu through a teleconference. While it was true that Nobunobu did not have an initial hand in this ordeal, Nobunobu welcomed the idea of her surrender very much. During the brief talk with the current Edo ruler, Soyo kept her mouth closed, even when Nobunobu made those unnecessary remarks of her brother. Nobunobu had ended the talk and as Soyo was dragged out of the room, she could still hear how the tyrant was now promising a very irresistible present for Toshio –who made his plan coming closer to reality.

"I still hate that man, Sacchan," Soyo spoke again after she was finished her clothes. Sitting down in front of the small mirror that was given by her captors in that prison, the raven-haired girl then began to arrange her hair and stuck some hair ornaments. "And I know she will not let us go after tonight."

Still gagged, Sarutobi could make no response, but the question was translated better in the silent air.

"I will try to negotiate with Toshio to ensure your safety first before I make the announcement," confirmed Soyo. "I will –"

"The kimono suits you, Hime-sama."

Soyo turned her face from the sight of her reflection to her behind. Toshio was standing on the other side of the bars; a bright smile on his face. Nobunobu must have given him what he wanted.

"Thank you," Soyo said as she stood up and walked near the bars.

"We are going in a few moments. You remember the rule, don't you? When you make the announcement, I expect you to present the best of yourself. If I sense you trying to make any signal, or if you look even slightest forced to do this, you will regret it. You are to talk as if this is your decision, and that you really agree to the alliance. I expect much from a good actress such as you."

"I will not make it as if I were under pressure, no worries," calmly replied Soyo. "Under one condition. You have to release Sacchan before that."

Toshio chuckled. "You think I'm letting my trump card go that easily?"

"If you refuse to release Sacchan, I will not say a word in the broadcast."

"If you say not a word in the broadcast, I will have the kunoichi's throat slit in a second."

"If you kill or hurt Sacchan, I will only say things on public broadcast that will make you regret your choice."

"Don't be difficult, Hime-sama."

"Don't be difficult, Toshio-san," echoed Soyo with a smile. "I don't break promises I made. And while we differ in opinions, I know you will keep your promise as well."

"Well, I'm not promising the kunoichi's safety until you deliver your part."

Soyo sighed. "This is going nowhere, Toshio-san. Both of us need to make compromises. I've done most of my parts already. I have been going with your plan so far, I put on dress you want me to wear, I go wherever you want me to go, I agree to talk to Nobunobu whose face I want to destroy the most in the world," she shrugged. "Surely you should award me better for my cooperation thus far."

"Well, Hime-sama, still –"

"How about this?" Soyo came up with a new proposal. "I will show my face on the broadcast and deliver my first line perfectly. After that, you have to release Sacchan. We both know that Sacchan will probably not be able to run fast with these injuries. And we both know that you have enough men to shoot her down from a far distance if I fail my broadcast."

Toshio blinked and even when muffled, both of them could hear Sacchan's gasp at Soyo's decision. Recovering from his surprise, Toshio asked, "You are fine with the possibility of my men shooting her down?" An amused chuckle echoed in the dungeon. "For someone who has been trying to protect her friend's life so much, you surely are contradicting your action –offering your friend's head instead."

"Consider it a good faith offer from my side. All those I'd dare to do just for you to release her. And that's even after I make my first line on broadcast."

"Well –"

"That's my final offer," concluded Soyo. "Take it, or I will not say a word in the broadcast. And to be honest, even I begin to doubt my decision. One kunoichi's life for the sake of the entire nation? I must have been crazy. You should make use of my insane state of mind while you still can, Toshio-san. I can change it anytime."

Toshio's laugh erupted. "Fine. We do it that way. You appear on broadcast and right after you say your first line, I promise I will release the girl. But if you do anything weird, I will have my men shoot this girl straight away."

Soyo smiled as she bowed down slightly –an action that Toshio mirrored.

"It's a fair offer, Hime-sama," Toshio said as he opened the lock of the bars and began to escort the former princess and the kunoichi to their next location.

* * *

If anyone asked him later on why on earth he did this, Kamui already had the answers prepared: first, he heard that Edo castle served the best food, and second, he was kind of broke and he needed access to his very own ATM machine.

"G-guards…" Nobunobu's request for help sounded so distant and suppressed. "W-what the fuck are y-you all doing?! Kill this bas –"

Before Nobunobu could finish his words, Kamui added pressure to his feet. He was still chewing the beef skewer he stole from Edo Castle's kitchen when his left feet stepped onto Nobunobu's throat more. The tatami floor under the tyrant's head was breaking, and it would only be the matter of time before his throat was the one broken.

The guards all halted on their spots. They had their rifles pointed out at Kamui –who only made a statement that made them all hesitate more.

"I guarantee my bullets will reach your hearts faster than yours reach mine –if yours _ever_ do reach mine," he promised as he pointed his umbrella to the group of men surrounding him and Nobunobu in Nobunobu's private bedroom. "Oh, but even before that, your leader will probably have no throat to swallow his gulp with."

Nobunobu's fingers frantically clawed on Kamui's calf. Kamui only needed to add the slightest pressure to his toes and that effectively killed Nobunobu's attempt.

"So, back to my previous question," Kamui said as he threw away the empty stick to the floor. "That former princess brat, my ATM machine, where is she?"

Nobunobu did remember this man vaguely. He did forget a while ago, but now that he thought about it, this was the man Takasugi brought five years prior –the very same man who greeted him with a punch straight to his face right on the first meeting. First meeting gave the most accurate impression on a man, it seemed. This Amanto had been crazy enough to attack him nonchalantly five years ago, and he had been crazy enough to sneak into Edo castle to threaten the Hitotsubashi leader, by _himself,_ now _._

This crazy man was serious with his threat.

"Three, two –"Kamui counted.

"W-wait!" Nobunobu stopped. "T-Tokugawa Soyo, r-right?"

"I hate delay. Two and a half –"

"S-she's going to do the public broadcast at her old residence!" Nobunobu quickly muttered. "The h-house we gave her a-after her brother w-was dethroned. Toshio i-is having the b-broadcast there! Now let me go!" Nobunobu muttered hastily.

"Hmm," Kamui deliberated as he loosened his step onto Nobunobu's throat.

But the next second, Kamui stepped onto Nobunobu's throat again, with double the force. This time, not only the tatami under Nobunobu broke, but Nobunobu's eyes turned white.

"Shogun-sama!" screamed the guards. Three men fired at the man in the center of the room. Kamui only needed to open his umbrella to cover one side and literally either dodged each of the bullet from the other direction. The warning must be realized. He correctly shot back those who dared to fire the bullet at him. Four guards fell down immediately, bleeding, but alive. Hmm, he must have been very merciful lately.

But Kamui had no care of the guards. He looked down at the Shogun and with a smile on his face, Kamui stated.

"You lied," the orange-haired man decided.

Nobunobu could barely say a word when his throat was literally only a step away from being crushed.

"You chose the wrong person to lie to," Kamui determined with a smile. "And that lie of yours will be your last words in earth."

"…g-gawa…"

"Hmm?" Kamui murmured, but he did lessen the pressure on Nobunobu's throat

"M-Misoguigawa d-downtown…" whispered Nobunobu. "B-basement f-floor."

"You lied."

"I d-didn't!" Nobunobu muffled. "I-I didn't this time."

Kamui tilted his head as he deliberated. Deciding that he did not have time anyway, he decided to go with this last statement from the current Edo leader. "It's not far from here, isn't it?" he recalled the place where he forced Soyo to treat him some weeks prior. "Alright. I'll go check it _real quick,_ and if I find out you lie again…" he paused to cast Nobunobu another cheerful smile. "Your eyeball will be the biggest remains of your body anyone can ever find."

* * *

"I don't care if I'm going to ruin Zura's plan. I will go to Nobunobu bastard and ask him myself," decided Kagura after nearly forty hours without sleep looking for Soyo.

"Endo already confirms that Hime-sama is not in Edo Castle," Okita reminded that his spy had the information confirmed.

"I know," Kagura muttered. "But Nobunobu must have known something about it."

"China, if you think we can siege Edo Castle easily we wouldn't have done that earlier?" challenged the Shinsengumi's first captain.

"Sending a battalion there would certainly be a problem. But if the two of us just sneak in, we have higher chance to do it."

"Fine," Okita decided as he flipped his mobile phone. "I'll just ask Endo to leave one of the gate open," he said as he followed Kagura jumping onto Sadaharu's back.

Sadaharu wasted no moment after the two bickering partners hopped onto his back. His strong paws quickly made their ways in the night to rush to Edo Castle.

It was halfway when finally the Sadist broke the silence again. "China."

"What?"

Okita turned his mobile phone off and pocketed it back. "Endo said that it would be impossible to sneak into Edo Castle now. They're multiplying their defense and –"

"I don't care how many people Nobunobu stationed, I'll just –"

"Don't cut my words. I was about to say that Nobunobu was strengthening the defense because they just had one intruder attacking Nobunobu."

"So?"

"Endo said that the intruder has bright orange hair and was carrying a large purple umbrella around."

Kagura signaled Sadaharu to stop before she turned her body slightly around to face Okita Sougo.

Shrugging, Okita only replied, "I only know one sick bastard who fits the description well."

* * *

The place that Nobunobu mentioned seemed like the real deal, Kamui decided as he observed the surrounding.

It was an expensive restaurant not many could afford. He did go down to the basement, although he was immediately stopped by two men clad in samurai attires. It was not his purpose to make a fight, so he let those two men escorted him back up to the official premise of the restaurant. Despite the briefest trip (or sneak) into the basement floor, he had been able to capture the sights of most of the things: the set up lighting and cameras, a formal podium at the center of the basement's well-lit room, and that rich brat standing at the center of it. Nobunobu did not lie that time, and Kamui was glad. He had been quite hungry and it would have been a hassle to go back to Edo Castle and made someone reaped what he sowed.

And then, all that was left for him to do was to enjoy his meal.

Nobunobu had given him a recommendation of a good restaurant, and really, the only reason why he would be coming to this place was because of the meal, _and_ he knew someone downstairs would be able to pay for his bills. No other reason, _nope,_ no other than that.

"Four of this and three of this one, please!" he cheerfully told the waiter who came to his table with the menu. The waiter did make a double take and (despite the trained politeness) scrutinized him. To quench the waiter's silent inquiry, Kamui elaborated, "Yes, I'll be dining alone. And no, I won't be running without paying."

The waiter hesitated for a while before he scribbled on his notepad and smiled respectfully to the customer. The older waiter then left for a moment.

There had been less than five other customers other than him in the restaurant, and judging by the look of them, none seemed to have realized that there was to be an emergency official announcement made below them. There was also a large, flat TV screen on the wall ahead of him, and unsurprisingly, it displayed a prediction commentary to the live announcement that a former princess was to deliver. The show discussed about a lot of possibility of what the former princess was to say, starting from the analysis of her role in the rebellion, to the prediction of the internal fracture within the Joui patriots, and the expected reaction from the Hitotsubashi faction. His meals had not arrived, and Kamui had no better thing to do than to watch the show.

His concentration was interrupted when the same waiter came back again to deliver him tea and some complementary appetizers to his table. He exclaimed his excitement at the first entry of food, before he continued to watch the show –his hands skillfully used the chopsticks to eat the appetizer without even looking at the dishes.

"You follow the news, Sir?" asked the waiter, who apparently had not left the table.

Without breaking eye contact from the television, Kamui only shrugged. "Not really. Nothing edible about it."

The old waiter laughed and said, "Well, you have been gawking at the television with so much interest, I thought you are also curious about what the Hime-sama is about to say."

At the mention of his TV watching behavior, Kamui intentionally broke the gaze he had at the TV and stared at the old waiter instead. "What do you think of her?"

"Well, I didn't really pay much attention to her, but over the years, there have been rumors that she was one of the mastermind in the rebellion. I had high expectation for her. But for the princess to betray her comrades like this… I don't know."

"You think she'll announce her allegiance to the ugly tyrant?"

The old waiter chuckled at the bold way the Amanto was addressing their official ruler. "I'm not sure. We won't know until her public announcement is made. It's supposed to be delivered at eight pm sharp, right? That's in five minutes."

"Hmm," Kamui mumbled and with the end of the conversation, the waiter returned back to the kitchen area. Kamui did not know whether all restaurant staffs were all really good actors, but it seemed as if none of the waiters knew that the so-awaited public broadcast originated from the floor below them. It was impossible that those samurais used the place without the knowledge of at least one person from the restaurant and Kamui was sure at least the restaurant manager (who kept giving worried glances to the stairs leading down the basement) knew about the ordeal. It seemed that third party involvement was to keep at the lowest level possible.

Well, Kamui thought as his focus was divided when the first platter was served on the table, not that any of this was his point of concern anyway. He was just there to eat, after all.

* * *

The samurais that kidnapped her and Toshio were busy with their own preparation and knowing that she had not much time left, Soyo decided to go to Sarutobi's place. The purple-haired girl was still tied, less to her favor, but at least the closest guard was in five meters proximity. There was still a high possibility he would eavesdrop, but this was the only chance Soyo had.

"Sacchan, after they release you, don't do anything stupid or heroic, just _run,_ alright? I don't know how long I can stall time for you. With your condition, you will not be able to fight these men, much less to help me. So _don't_ even think of helping me, alright?"

Sarutobi, even without her mouth gag, maintained her silent treatment towards the princess.

Sighing, Soyo knelt down in front of the bound woman. The heavy kimono hindered her movement, but Soyo had expertise in moving effortlessly in these get-ups. "Sacchan, please, I'm doing this for –"

"Don't put the burden on me, Hime-sama, you can't do this to me and –" Sarutobi paused, and widened her eyes when she realized that Soyo had sneaked something into her palm.

"This is your mission," Soyo whispered. "It's my short message to Katsura-san and Hijikata-san. You are to deliver it to them and them only. It contains information on where I keep my assets and my necessary bank accounts information. That's the information we need to fund this war. I don't know what will happen to me after this, but _that information_ in your hand is needed for this war."

Sarutobi gaped her lips open. She realized what the princess was doing: Soyo intentionally trusted this information to her so that she would not have any other option but to run and abandon the former princess.

"N-no, you can't m-make me do this to you. I-I won't be able to –"

"You're my brother's trusted oniwanbanshu, you'll be able to. You have to," mandated Soyo. "I apologize for burdening you, but please, at all cost, _run_ away from this place."

"No, Hime-sama, no –"

"What is it that you're planning, Hime-sama?" said Toshio as he stood behind the kneeling princess.

Slowly raising herself to her feet and turning around, Soyo faced Toshio, "Release Sacchan now."

"You haven't even delivered your first line."

"At least untie her first."

"We will do so, _after_ you stand in front of that podium and deliver your first line," Toshio gave the ultimatum. "And the show goes on, Hime-sama. All people from the nation is waiting for your announcement. Time is of the essence."

Soyo smiled but walk pass Toshio to the center of the basement. "Remember, if you don't release Sarutobi after I say my greeting, I will have the entire nation watch me making weird faces in front of the camera instead."

Toshio chuckled but nodded as he escorted her to the podium. An older woman came to approach Soyo after she stood behind the podium. The older woman did a very quick last check up on Soyo's hair and she tidied up the collars of Soyo's kimono. A second after, she left the stage, and Soyo stood alone behind the podium.

The lightings were uncomfortable to her eyes and all those lenses directed to her were really making her uncomfortable. The only broadcasts she had when she was still a princess were trivial advertising of sukonbu or the live-report of the daily life of a princess –things that did not require her to think the slightest. It was different now. It was a real deal now.

"I hope you don't have a stage fright, Hime-sama. And remember, say anything unnecessary, this kunoichi will not be to only one to face the consequence," spoke Toshio beside the main center camera. Like a director, he glanced at his watch, before he announced, "We're live in three, two, one."

Soyo's heart rapidly beat. She could feel sweat on her palm and she really did not want to look at the mirror right now because her expression must have been unpleasant to watch. But any distressed expression would risk Sarutobi's safety, so upon inhaling a deep breath, Soyo closed her eyes and tried to calm herself.

She could hear the familiar jingle of the breaking news and the short introduction passage from the presenter who shoot the scene on the left side of the main stage. Soyo glanced at Toshio, who cued for her start.

It was time.

She spoke to the microphone. "People of Edo," she began –her voice quivered slightly. Seeing the displeased look on Toshio's face, Soyo quickly retaliated herself and tried to force a more relaxed expression on her face. "People of Edo," she repeated with a more stable tone. "My name is Tokugawa Soyo, the only sister to Tokugawa Shigeshige, and the last heir of the Tokugawa lineage. What am I about to say is my official statement and I am under no force, threat or duress when I say this. I speak on behalf of myself, and not on behalf of any other faction."

Soyo deliberately stopped there.

Toshio's eye twitched.

Two seconds passed in silence, and Toshio knew that this was a live broadcast and Soyo was serious for him to keep the other side of the bargain.

Not that Toshio would play it as she wished.

"Break two fingers of that kunoichi," he mandated.

It was made clear from Soyo's viewpoint: the guard beside Sarutobi nodded upon the instruction and quickly covered Sarutobi's mouth with his big hands before he broke two fingers.

Sarutobi's muffle was in silence, but even Soyo could see tears glistening from Sarutobi's eyes.

Soyo remained silent and maintained not a difference of expression on her face.

The female presenter on the other stage stammered and made a quick retaliation –the camera followed her instead. "We apologize viewers, there seems to be disruption on the broadcast signal…" the female presenter reasoned and skillfully tried to fill in the silent gap Soyo intentionally gave.

Toshio clicked his tongue. "Break the third finger."

Another finger snapped –Sarutobi's cry seeped out of her mouth slightly.

Gritting his teeth at the still reaction from Soyo and the more panicked female presenter, Toshio decided, "Break the fourth finger."

It now required two men to keep Sarutobi quiet as more of her fingers were broken. Despite the gruesome view, Soyo maintained her calm and gazed at the camera, no, at Toshio instead.

She sent the silent message clear enough.

 _I don't care how many fingers you will break. You broke your promise and I will keep my mouth shut here._

Toshio cursed under his breath. He did not expect that the princess was truly insane enough to maintain her position that way. She was barely a woman, only a little girl –even so, someone who had spent a major part of her life being the meek, puppet princess. Someone who was supposed to be easy to manipulate –typical girl who would squirm at the sight of blood and would succumb to her humanity when her friends were tortured.

Toshio would have to learn that night, it was not a lamb he was betting with.

He recognized that calm gaze coming from the former princess' eyes. Only monsters, only devils would be able to do this.

He did not have much time. The decision must be made. The more seconds he delayed, the less reliable this public broadcast would be and it would just defeat the whole purpose.

Reluctantly, Toshio finally demanded, "Release that kunoichi."

"But sir, we can try burning her face with the wax now and –"

"The princess will never cooperate that way. Release the kunoichi. Now."

"A-alright."

Toshio added after his men fully released the shackles from the kunoichi's limbs. Sacchan pressed her palm (whose fingers were not broken) to her lips as she muffled her cry, turned her back against Soyo, and limply walked upstairs.

"Two men to follow her. Shoot her at my order," Toshio whispered before he glanced back at the princess again and conveyed the silent message. _I've done my part, now you do yours._

Taking a deep breath and after ensuring that Sarutobi had climbed up from the basement, Soyo resumed her speech (much to the female presenter's relief –who seemed to no longer have any words to delay).

"My apology for the slight technical disturbances, people of Edo. What am I about to say is not an easy decision, but it is a decision I make with free minds."

She continued with her monologue.

"…My brother, Tokugawa Shigeshige, always hates war. Regardless of whatever reason, we have put you all in suffering and political turmoil these past five years. I personally apologize for that. And I… I have thought this matter over and over again, and I decide that this all must end. This war and rebellion happens for the selfish reasons of some people, but no civilians should ever suffer for this."

"I… might be considered a traitor after this, but I am doing this for the people of my country, for the people of Edo that my brother loves so much. It's not for any faction's interest. It's not about Tokugawa, or the Hitotsubashi, or other political parties or elements. It's about Edo. And I'm doing this for Edo. Many will not like my statements, but I stand strong on my viewpoint that this is for Edo."

"I have known Nobunobu-san for a long time," continued Soyo –detecting the satisfaction on Toshio's face and his silent approval on the words she said. "One might know him as ambitious, but no one can deny that he has the determination only few in this country possesses. And for that reason," Soyo coughed.

Toshio frowned. It was getting to the good part.

Soyo coughed more, but despite so, she still forced herself to talk. "I'm sorry, viewers," ( _cough_ , _cough_ ) "Just let me –" ( _cough, cough_ ). Glancing at the people behind the lenses, Soyo signaled with hand gesture: _I need a glass of water._

Toshio clicked his tongue again. "We don't have time for this shit," he cursed, but still ordered someone to bring a glass of water to the podium. His subordinate delivered the glass of water as quickly as possible to the podium, and the cameraman zoomed in to the background for a while so that the additional person will not be recorded.

Muttering a quick gratitude, Soyo quickly drank the full content of the glass and exhaled a relieved sigh.

"Ah, my apologies, viewers," she resumed, her tone back to the normal and professional one. "Nobunobu-san has come to me with a preposition to form an allegiance to end this war. It will take time, but this war must end…" she paused and smiled apologetically to the camera.

 _Aniue-sama, I'm sorry…_

"Please," her voice cracked a little. "I deeply apologize for the pains we all have caused you but please bear this war just a little more."

Toshio widened his eyes when he finally realized what the princess was trying to do.

With an involuntary tear escaping her face, Soyo threw the empty glass to the floor.

Dozens of shards splattered on the basement ground, and faster than everything, faster than Toshio's orders, Soyo quickly bent down, chose one of the biggest and sharpest-looking shards and delivered her last words.

"We will win this war. Fuck you, Nobunobu," Tokugawa Soyo promised before she slit her own throat with the glass shard.

* * *

 **To be continued**


	20. The Weight of Sins

**Guest** : Hi! Thanks for reading and reviewing again! Soyo, ah my dear Soyo is intended to be crazy here, haha. I have a thing for sadistic and insane heroine, so here goes again my rendition of Soyo. Thanks for following up and hope you enjoy this chapter!

 **Guest (GRadha5)** : I feel like I want to hug you. Thank you for seeing behind my selfishness as a writer. I am afraid that readers won't enjoy my work, but even more than that, I'm afraid if I sacrifice my personal writing idealism. Sure, writing something that my readers will enjoy will be something I thrive and work hard for, but even before that, I won't forgive myself if I miss the chance to write what I actually want to write. So… yeah, thanks for understanding this selfishness of mine.

* * *

 **What Pumps the Blood (Faster)**

 **Chapter 20 – The Weight of Sins**

* * *

Kamui yearned for battles more than blood. The latter was an inevitable part of the former, but he did not really yearn for the latter –though there was always a satisfaction, a thrill when he saw the redness that marred a once-alive creature.

And he recalled he particularly loved the sight of blood on her. The redness flow that elegantly trailed her pale skin. It was exquisite; it was beautiful; it was something that even he, a lustful murderer, would classify as art any other day, any other time.

But not that day, not that time.

" _We will win this war," said the former princess through the broadcasted live show. "Fuck you, Nobunobu," she cursed with a smirk before the sharp piece of glass tore the exact place where her blood ran the fastest._

Redness colored her pale skin; thick blood gushed out rather than trickled; the body fell and the TV screen blacked out.

His mind must have blacked out at the same second as well.

There was no justification, no reason, no ratio, no sanity when Kamui's body moved on its own accords: he jumped from his seat, ran, no _dashed_ , to the stairs that would lead him to the basement of the restaurant. He passed way with a purpled-haired, bespectacled girl who ran to the other direction, he roughly shoved the two samurais on his way, he climbed the stairs down, he broke the door at the end of the stairs with one effortless kick.

And it was vivid: the chaos.

Screaming and angry shouting were heard all over the room. Cameras had stopped rolling and a group of people was circling someone who was laying on the floor, blood quickly spreading like a halo.

"Soyo!" Kamui screamed her name for the first time.

But the girl was never to hear it.

( _Dead. The end. That's it, Kamui. Just like every fragile soul that you crushed, a mortal was bound to die. And these people were to blame. These people who touched her. These people who messed up with something that was his. No excuse. No mercy. No fucking mercy_ )

 _Your blood would not be the only one shed tonight._

It was akin to the battlefield-trained instinct Kamui had honed over the years, for his entire life: the urge to kill, the urge to destroy, the urge to _annihilate_. There were annoying voices around him, questioning him ( _he did not hear_ ), telling him to leave the place ( _who the fuck were they to order him around?!_ ), aiming their fists to stop him from taking a step closer ( _as if. As if these low lives could lay a hand on him, no –_ )

As if he would allow them to lay a hand on her.

Angry howl escaped his lips as he twisted the hand that was trying to stop him; in a matter of a nanosecond, he threw the first three men to the wall with enough force that would break their entire bones.

It was only the beginning.

One, two, three, seven, nine, twelve, fifteen, twenty –he lost track. He lost track of the bodies he sent flying, he lost track of the bones he crushed, he lost track of the hearts he crushed, he lost track of his mind ( _he always had, a vile existence as him never had sanity of mind to begin with_ ).

In less than a minute, the princess' blood was not the only one to color the brightly-lit basement, and in less than a minute, he remained the only one standing.

It was funny how Kamui was in an unstoppable hurry to finish these people off, but when he finally finished them all, he could only stop on his step and stare.

Stare at the pale skin and the contrasting redness around her, stare at the eyes that were closed and would not look back at him again –gone was the gaze he had not realized he was addicted to.

His steps to her were slow, achingly slow. His bloody arms quivered and his legs trembled to the point that he eventually fell on his knees next to her body.

His lips twisted to form a smirk, and he laughed.

It sounded hollow even to his ears.

"Hey brat," Kamui spoke and only the silence of the room answered.

Even his teeth clattered now. Funny, it was not even chilly down there, but there was nothing but freeze that he felt inside him. And the coldness doubled when he forced his arm to reach out to touch her neck. His finger stopped a moment when it touched the thick blood that marred her skin, as if she was a venomous snake to touch.

He chuckled to himself. Since when was he actually _afraid_ of the sight of blood?

The trembles did not cease, but he knew his mind would go even crazier if he did not do it.

Shutting his eyes tight, he pressed his finger on the place where her pulse was.

There was nothing.

His heart skipped a beat.

His keen hearings caught the sound of approaching footsteps. Clicking his tongue, he darted his eyes to find an escape way. He found another door on the opposite side of the other door he just destroyed. Without thinking, he quickly scooped her in his arms –a dead body was supposed to be heavy, but this girl was light, as if she was air, as if she was the nothingness, as if she would evaporate soon.

The thought of losing her from his grasp coaxed Kamui to hold her tighter in his arms. He stood on his feet and with her, he escaped through the other door.

Dead or alive, he would not let her go.

* * *

Sarutobi could barely run. Even so, even when it ached her entire body and even when her muscles were close to screaming, she tightened her fists –what the princess had entrusted inside her knuckles was more important than her exhausted and injured body. It killed her already that she had to run away from her benefactor, at her benefactor's very order. Sarutobi knew she was no samurai, but Soyo was not only her benefactor –Soyo was the most precious thing Sarutobi's most important master had entrusted her with. All the injuries in her body seemed insignificant now, and a part of her was mad at Soyo for _forcing_ her to do this, to betray her, to leave her.

And if the guilt was what she needed to carry, be it. The message. The key in her hand. She had to carry it out to Katsura and Hijikata –at all cost.

She did not know what happened to the princess, but there must have been something _wrong_. The busy street of Edo she passed was filled with frantic people, most of them were circling public televisions, which, to Sarutobi's wonder, no longer displayed the sight of Soyo, but rather, various reporters, other political figures interviewees and commentators. She could not hear what they all said. Her visions were starting to get blurry. Damn it. She needed to deliver this message. She had abandoned her benefactor, and she could not fail her any further. She had to –

Even when her mind and soul did not give up, Sarutobi's body eventually did.

There was no stopping it when gravity pulled her down.

But something else was pulling her up.

It was wet and slightly painful. Weakly, she turned her face around only to see a familiar round face of a dog that Gintoki kept as a pet.

"Sacchan?!" Kagura shouted as she helped Sadaharu to scoop Sacchan's limp body up. Kagura jumped off Sadaharu and with the help of Okita who was still sitting on the back of Sadaharu's back, they pulled Sacchan on top of Sadaharu's back. "What happened?! Why are you –"

"H-Hime-sama," Sacchan muttered in tears. "K-Kagura-chan, please save Hime-sama…"

"You know where Soyo-chan is?"

Nodding, Sacchan pointed to a direction and murmured, "M-Misoguigawa –"

Kagura's eyes quickly met with Okita's. The brown-haired man gazed at the orange-haired girl with an uninterrupted stare.

"You can handle it, China?" he asked –knowing very well that they had to split tasks. Sarutobi was in a dire need of help as well and the longer they delayed help, the more probable they would lose another friend that night.

"Don't underestimate me, Sadist," Kagura sternly expressed.

"I'll catch up with you soon," Okita promised as he secured Sarutobi's position on top of Sadaharu's back. "And don't die," he whispered rather seriously.

Something in her heart leaped, but Kagura knew this was not the time for that. With a nod, Kagura dashed out to the direction where Sarutobi pointed earlier, while Okita instructed Sadaharu to go to the hospital as quickly as possible.

* * *

Kamui had intended to bring her to the hospital, but after the third time checking her pulse, pressing his palm to her left chest, and trying to feel the nonexistent air coming from her nose, he gave up.

He did not even dare to touch her neck again. The reminder that this was nothing more than a corpse he was carrying had fatigued his mind more. He had no energy to make any move –he had no will to move. So he sat there on the vacant, narrow alleyway. There was a weight on his lap, where he placed Soyo's head on, but it weighed nothing in comparison to the uneasiness that tugged his entire soul down.

The hand he unconsciously placed on top of her hair idly stroked her hair. He recalled that whenever he did so, the girl would either pull her hair off his grasp or blush profusely. The absence of reaction felt weird, and Kamui had felt weird for the past hour or so.

Kamui knew that this girl was crazy –absolutely insane. She was monstrous and just when he thought he understand her enough to know and predict her every reaction, she had again proven him wrong. Most of the times, he found her little surprises entertaining –they kept him staying, playing around in this boring planet longer than he should have.

He did not find this little surprise from her entertaining. No. Not at all.

He chuckled.

"This is not funny, brat."

There was only silence, and he felt the fear crept back.

Corpses were meant to remain silent. His mother had been silent. His father had been silent too.

( _All your fault_ )

And Kamui knew he did not even have the right to feel guilty about it. Everything was his doing. Had he actually taken the situation more seriously and interrupted when he actually still could, this brat on his lap would probably still be alive. Had he not abandoned his mother, she would probably have lived –maybe not for a long time, but another day, another time. Had he not been devoured by the disgusting and worthless, momentary thirst of power, his father would have been alive.

Had Kamui been dead, more people would have been alive.

He laughed. The strong were to remain alive, and the weak were to die. He had understood this principle well, and he would always put the blame to that particular law of the nature. It was not his fault he was born strong, grew strong, lived strong. It was not his fault that the others were simply too weak, and it was not his fault that –

"It's my fault, isn't it?" he asked to the nothingness.

Law of the nature should have dictated differently: it was the guilty ones that should have died.

Kamui laughed again. Slow at first, but it echoed in the walls that imprisoned his soul.

It never echoed inside his heart.

Hollow, as hollow as his existence.

He should not have been alive. He should have…

His fingers left her hair and reached out for his own face. The face that was still warm, the body that still held a soul, a morbid one, the body that should have –

"…died," he whispered to himself; his fingers trailed to his neck, his blunt nails dug onto his own skin. "…I should have died instead."

Kamui's fingers dipped deeper, and more blood gushed out of the holes he made on his neck. He should have done this earlier; he should have killed himself sooner. An existence as vile as him, someone who deserved no life, someone who –

A hand reached up and was placed on his shivering cold fist.

"What are you doing?" a soft voice resonated in the darkest corner of his heart, and echoed –it finally echoed.

Kamui widened his eyes. He gaped his mouth open but no voice came out of his throat –not when the corpse that was second ago rested on his lap rose from her death, sat in front of him, extended her hand to him.

Soyo stared at him with wide, scared eyes. Her hand trembled when she held his hand and carefully, slowly, tried to make him stop hurting himself. "What are you doing, Kamui?"

His response came out in a choke. "…You were dead," he whispered –eyes still staring at hers in horror. "You _are_ dead. No, I _am_ dead, am I not?"

Never breaking the eye contact, Soyo finally successfully drew his hand off his own neck. He stared at her; at the seconds of confusion and fear, at the way she tore a piece of her clothing and, like that night months prior in the ruins of Edo Terminal, she pressed the cloth to his wound.

Kamui flinched, but Soyo stayed still and continued to press.

"None of us die tonight," she whispered.

"… You are a ghost," Kamui decided. "If not, then I must have been hallucinating."

Soyo carefully brought his other hand to touch the top of her left chest. He widened his eyes. Soft, but steady heartbeats that had not been there minutes prior resonated under his fingertips. Still, none of this made sense. The ghost resembled her living counterpart much –very good at twisting his mind upside down.

"I am not dead," Soyo clarified. Her other hand continued to stop the bleeding from his neck. "I-I don't know why you're here, I don't know what happened to Toshio and the others, but –"

"You are dead," Kamui still insisted.

"I faked my death," Soyo answered as she wiped out the blood on her neck. There was a mild scratch on the skin, but not as deep or as fatal as Kamui had thought. How could he not have seen this? Noticing the apprehension that started to hit him, Soyo elaborated further, "I-I drank Katsura's pill and I popped a small bag of fake blood."

"…What?" he weakly hissed.

"I always carry them," Soyo shrugged. "I don't do well in fights, but I'm always good in faking my death."

There was a grim, murderous glance Kamui gave to her, and Soyo felt like now she had a legit reason to be afraid, no, to feel guilty of. As if she was a little kid caught up breaking a vase, her mouth ran, giving excuses, rambling, trying to justify the foolishness she had done." I-I know my action would have caused an uproar, a-and I know I have a lot of explanation to say to Hijikata-san and Katsura-san after, but that's the only way to both save Sacchan and not betray my c-comrades. I faked my death because I knew that i-if I do that, Toshio and the others' attention would be directed t-to me, and that would give S-Sacchan enough time to escape and –"

Soyo blabbered more of her plans, elaborated the details to someone who probably would not have cared.

Kamui gave no fucking care of all her reasons, or her political moves, or publicity stunts. He only cared that this girl, this woman was alive, and was able to talk like usual, and was there with him and –

Before he could stop himself, Kamui pulled her into an embrace.

He said not a word, only hiding his face on her shoulders. His embrace was tight –to the point of suffocating her. He could have killed her for real that time, and a part of him did not care. He was a selfish man; he just needed to hold her tightly in his arms, to smell the sweet scent from her, to be engulfed by her warmth, to feel her presence by his side…

And in that moment Kamui would admit that, reasons and logic aside, he really needed this girl.

He needed her to keep him sane; he needed her to keep him _insane_ ; he needed her to feel alive and at the same time savor and understand the concept of death and mortality; he needed her to be able to breathe; he needed her to the point that he felt he needed nothing else so long that he could have her, hold her, be with her –

–he needed her to fulfill the essence of his existence.

"You are not to fucking do that again, Brat," he muttered to her shoulders. "Your life is mine, and you are not, _never_ to give it away like that again, you hear me?"

Soyo hesitated. Her arms were laid limp on her side. She should not have felt this. She should have run away, fulfilled her promise to Kagura and got away from him. She should not have betrayed her brother, she should not have done this, she should not have wanted to hug Kamui back, she should not have wanted _,_ no, _needed_ _him_ back.

Her body was a traitorous one as she shut her mind and hugged him back. But even more than her body, it was her heart that betrayed everything more.

Never would it cross her mind that the man, no, the _boy,_ for the rarest time ever, actually acted like a boy. He was heavy on her, but so must have the burdens he had carried all along.

She did not even have the right to forgive him –whatever her feeling to him was, what this man, this murderer owed to the society, to the world, was something that could probably never be forgiven. It would defeat the whole purpose of justice if he was to be forgiven; this man's atonement was something that would probably need to be carried in a long dwindling way, and it was something burdensome, yet –

–it was something that she, somehow, was not reluctant to bear.

She was not to forgive him, never. But if it was for the cost of having him by her side, she would embrace his guilt, his sin, making them her own –let her own action be frowned upon, let her be detested, but she would carry the load he carried and –

"I'm not going anywhere," Soyo promised as she caressed his back.

"You will," Kamui whispered, and his fear coaxed him to tighten his grip around her. "Nobody would want –"

"I promise," Soyo declared. "I will stay by your side."

Soyo thought she felt Kamui's body tensed for a second. But the second after, she felt his weight back on her shoulders, and with an exhale of a sigh, she embraced him, all of him: his weight, his burden, his sin, his evil thoughts, his guilt, him.

The price she had to pay was high, the load she had to bear was heavy, but holding this man in her arms… Soyo thought that this burden was actually worth it.

* * *

 **To be Continued**


	21. Completion

**A/N:** Hi… Sorry for being MIA for months. I had some personal issues and to be honest it is kind of scary to proceed with this fic because the manga has really progressed. Many things in this fic that I've written nearly a year ago no longer go along with the canon plotline of Gintama. I originally tried to tweak it but then I give up. But anyway, here goes the next extremely fanon version of the story. Hope you can still enjoy!

 **Warning** : NSFW chapter.

* * *

 **What Pumps the Blood (Faster)**

 **Chapter 21 – Completion**

* * *

The emergency meeting was held immediately that night –or rather, early in the morning. Soyo entered the secret hall the Joui patriots had in their possession, not surprised to find that Kondo and Hijikata (who should have been at the eastern alps at that moment) and Katsura (who should have been at the northern village) were all present in the room.

Her Joui patriot escort closed the door behind her, and all three pairs of eyes were directed at her. There was a silent demand for the former princess to deliver some serious explanations to them.

Soyo took a long breath before she folded her legs and sat in front of them. None made a comment, so Soyo uttered the first word.

"Well –"

"What were you thinking, _really,_ Hime-sama?" demanded Hijikata.

"It was a serious action and you did not consult us when you made such decision," icily spoke Katsura.

Kondo said nothing but he kept his arms crossed in front of his chest –refusing to look at the girl.

The fact that these three idiots (well, Soyo respected each of them, but it did not change the fact that these leaders were prone to idiocy most of the times –characteristic values that she regarded dearly, by the way) carried nothing but serious air around them made Soyo realize that this was really much more serious than what she had envisioned.

"I'm sorry," she said earnestly. "I really was not in a position to make any contact, and I know my decision was rash, and I know I should have thought of better ways, but…" she sighed. "That publicity stunt was the only thing I could think of in that situation."

Sympathy aside, Katsura spoke calmly, "Your appearance in public had caused turmoil within the Joui Patriots. I am not exaggerating when some of my men planned to have you killed before you made that announcement."

"And what kind of blatant declaration was that you have to the public? Despite you being on our side, you know that you have to maintain the most neutral position. We don't need any further declaration of war to alarm the already prepared Hitotsubashi soldier," decided Hijikata as he puffed more smoke to the air.

"We have enough fugitives to protect. Now you made yourself a clear enemy to the Hitotsubashi as well. We _really_ have no resource to protect more people, Hime-sama," sighed Katsura. "Don't get me wrong. Of course we will still protect you, but we could barely protect even ourselves at the moment."

"I heard reports that the search at the eastern alps by the Hitotsubashi had been tripled. The Hitotsubashi was truly going on a rampage after your declaration."

"And now all Edo will think you are dead. If they found out that you were actually still alive, it would look as if our faction is acting up in front of the public and –"

"Now, now, Toshi, Zura –" Kondo tried to interject.

"I'm not Zura. It's Katsura."

"Well, Toshi and Zura," Kondo still insisted. "Don't be too hard on the princess. I know you are deadly worried for her, but even such harsh words –"

"It's fine, Kondo-san," interrupted Soyo as she quickly bent her body and bowed to the three men. "I really apologize for my reckless action. I should have handled the situation better and –"

"Hime-sama, lift your head!" Kondo stammered as he made a move to rise from his seat. "Don't listen to Toshi and Zura! We are always prepared for a full-blown war, we have enough resources too! And well, with or without that declaration, anyone knows that you are on our side and it will not be a hassle at all to give you further protection and please –" Kondo paused as he straightened the princess body so that she no longer bowed down. "Please. You're safe. That's really what matters the most."

Soyo knew she should not have been sentimental, but it was humiliating enough that again and again, she would have to depend and burden these men. She was technically no longer part of the Shogunate family –Shinsengumi really owed her not a single protection. To know that at the end of the day, no matter how much she tried to help, her help was unnecessary –

"Well, Hime-sama, sorry for being frank, but we have no time to hear your apology anyway," said Toshi (who immediately earned another scolding from Kondo). "We still have a war to face."

Wiping the tear from her face, Soyo controlled herself. "You are right. I'm sorry for making a statement that would only accelerate the war –"

"It's a good timing actually," Katsura decided. "It might be slightly reckless to alarm the Hitotsubashi now, but you are right. This war needs to end real soon. We have caused prolonged suffering to the civilians."

Scratching his head, Hijikata then grunted, "Yeah. Our men are tired of playing hide and seek anyway."

"Under different circumstances, we would have hidden you to guarantee your safety," Katsura added. "But this time, we have to focus our force on attacking, and our deepest apology, but you would have to settle yourself with hiding here in Edo."

Soyo nodded in a complete agreement. "Don't waste your force on me. Just focus on the war."

"Our troops from the other towns are making secret mobilization to Edo. We predict that we will have full force in Edo in three days. And that's when we are going to start the actual coup d'état."

Soyo took the information in as calmly as she could, although inside, her heart was beating frantically. After five years, the real war was to begin. She did not know what the outcome would be, and she found that, despite her confidence in their side's force, she was actually more worried than excited.

Kondo laid a hand on the former princess' shoulder and patted it encouragingly.

"We apologize that we can only bring justice to your brother now," he whispered. "We promise we would not embarrass him in this war."

The mention of her brother made her heart softened again. Ah, what was up with her lately? She had been really sentimental that night, although a part of her knew that she was actually glad that these people, despite the common ground to simply destroy the Hitotsubashi, would still remember her dear brother.

"…Thank you," she murmured sincerely. "Thank you for remembering Aniue-sama."

Katsura smiled secretly and Hijikata only chuckled slightly.

"Oh, and Hime-sama?"

"Hmm?"

"' _Fuck You, Nobunobu'_ is too gentle. We should have taught you the proper way to curse that bastard."

* * *

"We need to talk."

This was expected, but that did not make the proposition a favorable one. Kamui only stared at his sister as the latter stood in front of the door of his room at the Shinsengumi's headquarter. Kamui scratched his head, but eventually he only shrugged. "You miss your dear brother so much? Let's have a chit-chat then, Sister," Kamui remarked pleasantly as he sat on the floor –waiting for his sister's reaction.

Kagura cast one doubtful look at the smiling young man in front of her, before she closed the door and sat in front of him. She did not delay enough time to go straight to her question.

"What is your motive?"

"That's too general of a question, Sister. What's my motive for what?"

"All these," Kagura said as she gritted her teeth, displeased with the way Kamui was trying to delay the conversation instead. "You coming to earth. You staying on earth. You playing with Soyo-chan. You interrupting our battle," she listed them one by one. "What's your ulterior motive?"

"No ulterior motive in particular. I just want to," he answered earnestly as he stretched his legs. It had been quite a tiresome night –more on an emotional level rather than a physical one.

"Why did you save Soyo-chan?" Kagura asked more specifically –hating the idea of asking that question, because the question itself did not sound plausible on her ear. "Fine, I can understand that you just have nothing better to do when you decided to stay on earth or even be involved in our war. But Soyo-chan… is it just because you have nothing better to do as well?"

"What do you want me to answer you with?"

"Don't answer my question with a question, Idiot."

"Geez, language, sister," jokingly reprimanded the brother. "I'm serious. What answer do you want to hear from me? Because wouldn't you doubt whatever I will say? It's rhetorical, really. Your question that is."

It would have been a rhetorical question had Kamui not acted in contradiction. For all these times after Kagura caught her brother and her best friend, she had thought that it was only a way of passing time for him. Then he acted all ignorant when she initially told him of Soyo's disappearance. Her brother contradicted his actions more when Kagura learned that, upon hearing the Misoguigawa restaurant's staffs accounts and Soyo's own accounts, it was Kamui who finished all those involved in Soyo's kidnapping and actually took her back safely. Kagura's questions no longer became rhetorical –she really had _no idea_ of what Kamui was plotting.

"I would never understand you, wouldn't I?" Kagura murmured under her breath. It was not supposed to come out of her mouth, but Kamui heard it anyway.

"My motives have always been rather clear, Sister," Kamui stated. He hesitated before he answered, "I left our mother because I was in a quest for challenge and I killed our father because he got in the way in our fight."

Kagura was taken a back. Widening her eyes, the girl retorted with gritted teeth, "I was not even talking about our parents."

"You and I both know that those are the questions you are most curious of. No. You already knew the answers to those, but you just wish to hear it straight from my mouth."

Kagura gritted her teeth so hard that the sound nearly became audible to him. He could see her shoulders shook in both frustration and anger and this was not unexpected. "And that's your answer?" she demanded. "You left our mother because you did not care and you killed our father because you wanted to prove you were stronger than him?"

"You twisted my words," Kamui pointed out. Then again, it was not Kagura's fault per se. Perhaps he was just being the contradicting one. "But I really don't care what you think, sister. I knew it. Whatever I said you would not have it. You are not entirely wrong though. I am not a man who holds virtues. Both of us know that."

Irritated glint glistened on Kagura's eyes. Reasons… everybody had that. Kamui had that. Kamui had plentiful of that and Kagura knew. "They're our parents," she stuttered, losing the argument but having no other reason to resort to. "How, why would you –"

"I would not seek for your forgiveness. I did exactly what I did. I am guilty for exactly what I did. The facts would remain the same. I left mother to die and I killed father. "

This conversation was her fault. Kagura knew she should not have crossed the line just to find out the facts that she hated to be reminded of. He was right, the fact remained that Kamui abandoned their mother and killed their father. She knew that her mother would have died with or without him staying, and that her father died because Umibouzu tried to interject their fight by sacrificing himself, but still…

"…Murderer," she hissed.

"I am," he confirmed. "Like it or not, your brother is a murderer."

Kagura grabbed Kamui's collars and yelled at him. "Are you even sorry, you bastard?!"

He was unfazed with Kagura's reaction. To tell the truth, he actually could not understand how Kagura was able to hold it in all these times. After Umibouzu died in his hands, Kagura never actually confronted him that way. He could still remember how Kagura just stood silently at Umibouzu's dying figure and had her heart ran cold when Umibouzu sent them his last words.

" _It's not your brother's fault, Kagura… I am the one who got into your fight. I don't want to see you kill each other. Live well together, the two of you…"_

Kamui pensively gazed back at Kagura. If there was anything that they would agree on, their father's last words were not a dying message. It was a curse.

And he had promised Umibouzu to carry on the curse.

"'Sorry' would not change the fact," he told her the reality. "'Sorry' would not bring both of them back to life."

"You bas –"

"If it would, I would have professed it a million times."

At that statement, Kagura felt her grip on his collars weakened. She eventually let go of his collar fully and fell to the floor, banging her fists to the floor, crying, howling.

Kamui gazed at his sister.

And despite his earlier word, he let the word slipped off his mouth.

"I'm sorry."

As he had expected, no burden was lifted. The guilt would never leave him for the rest of his life, and Kamui himself wouldn't even allow saying such word to get rid of the burden –because he had no right to. If this was the price he had to pay his entire life, if this was the load he had to carry to eternity, he would do so –willingly, acceptingly.

But Kagura lifted her face from the floor and stared at her brother. Tears truly drenched her face and she opened her mouth to say something, but no word came out.

Because she half-hoped to see the smirk on his face, to see the nonchalant smile on him. She expected to see the non-remorse from him. She expected him to be the devil that he actually was. He was, still and would always be, and that was why he should not have said the word, should not have apologized.

And she should not have seen deeper, she should have not known that there was no lie in his statement, she should not have not known that his regret was genuine.

It was Kamui who decided this conversation should end. "You are more than welcome to keep seeing me as a monster," he declared.

"…"

Kamui sighed after nearly ten minutes passed and none of them made any attempt of a conversation. "Shouldn't you go back to Yorozuya now?"

Kagura said not a word and only maintained her position and stance for the past ten minutes: staring at the floor.

Deciding that his sister would probably not give any response, Kamui only stood up and head to the cupboard. He slid the door open and grabbed something out of the space. "There's extra futon, if you want to sleep here."

To his surprise, Kagura replied.

"Yeah."

* * *

They grounded her again after that –a choice that, despite her long strive for freedom, Soyo accepted without much of resistance. Okita had escorted her to one of the secret premises owned by the Joui Patriots, where she was to wait and hide during the preparation of the war. Soyo found it weird that it felt almost nostalgic to be cut off from her five-years-old freedom this way. She wouldn't have wanted to return to the restricted life of an Edo princess, but the fact that she was ordered not to leave the premise until the attack began was, again, quite nostalgic.

Two guards were placed on the entrance of the house, while the other two were placed on the back. Matsudaira had apologized for the lack of guards, but Soyo understood that they needed to utilize as many people as possible for the full attack to Edo castle the night after. As a matter of fact, Soyo had proposed to cut the amount of guards by half –an idea that was immediately rejected by Matsudaira.

Though nostalgic, Soyo knew that being locked for her safety this time did feel different. There were no actual servants to accompany her talk, no Jiiya to mess around with, no older brother to make tea for.

She smiled bitterly upon assembling and disassembling the Japanese dolls she had found in the modest premise –one of the few past times she had an access to. She grew bored quickly, but at least Okita had dropped by earlier that evening.

"How's her condition?" Soyo asked as her fingers fumbled on the wooden doll, referring to Sarutobi who was now resting for treatment in the hospital.

"Recovering very quickly. She keeps insisting that she'd be able to join the war tomorrow night. Of course that will be impossible and we would not allow that."

Soyo nodded in approval before she hesitantly asked, "Sacchan's still mad at me, isn't she?"

"She's more furious at Zenzou-san who kept using her hospital room as a manga café," answered Okita with a shrug, recalling the nasty view of a supposedly bed-ridden patient shoving some objects to someone else's anus as an attempt to make the latter go away.

"Ah. Zenzou-san is back?" Soyo took note.

"Yeah. Most of the forces have arrived in Edo anyway."

Soyo directed her gaze at the small Japanese garden that the premise had. It was tranquil and serene, and Soyo hoped it would remain that way the day after tomorrow.

"What's your bet on the result of tomorrow's war?"

"… I don't know," surprisingly Okita answered. "I thought that it would have been easy, but there are rumors that the Tendoshiin has not completely cut help to the Hitotsubashi. We probably would manage fine if there's no third party interruption, but if those people are involved again like five years ago… well…so long that the Utsuro guy does not interfere, I'm actually positive I could behead Nobunobu's head myself."

"Okita-san," Soyo called out.

"Hmm?" the man mumbled as he played with the strands of his own long hair.

"No matter what happens, you have to come back alive, okay?"

If it had been under different circumstances, Sougo would probably shrug it off –few men had confidence in their skills (and a justifiable amount of confidence, really) the way Okita Sougo had. To have him momentarily silenced did nothing to calm Soyo's anxious heart. And perhaps, for the slightest moment, they all had their doubts as well. If Hitotsubashi had been an easy force to defeat, they would have done so five years prior. The fact that tomorrow night would be the decisive battle seemed to truly take its effect on people.

"Of course," he answered after silence that Soyo wished would no last that long. "I would be the one to escort you back to the castle, Hime-sama."

Soyo sighed. "After this war ends, a new shogunate, or even new government system will be formed. I will never be a princess again, Okita. Not that I want to anyway."

"Still," Okita declared. "The only person in this world whom I would call 'Hime-sama' is you. Hope you're still opening vacancy for bodyguards. I like the payment," he said as he stood up and fixed his straw hat –ready to take his leave.

Chuckling Soyo only nodded. "Do as you wish, Okita-san," she softly said as she waved at him. Okita smirked before he closed the door and left the premise. There was a battle strategy meeting he had to attend. He would most likely sleep there but, at least he could show up to irritate Hijikata.

Upon the closed door, Soyo slowly clasped her hand and closed her eyes. She knew that she had the utmost faith in her friends, but still, it would not hurt to pray for the outcome. She had been quite naïve as a princess back then, when she thought that her brother would forever be with her.

She could hear the door slid open again and slowly, Soyo lifted her face to look at the new visitor.

It did not surprise her that Kamui was the one leaning on the doorway, despite her not telling him her whereabouts was. The lack of surprise, still did nothing to calm her suddenly rapidly beating heart.

Kamui crossed his arms in front of his chest as he playfully clicked his tongue. "What kind of lady actually accepts male visitor in her bedroom in the middle of the night?"

Smiling softly as she gazed up at him, Soyo replied, "And what kind of gentleman suddenly barges in to the lady's room again?"

Kamui entered the room and comfortably seated himself in front of her. "I am never a gentleman. And no, I was actually referring to that policeman who just had your company a while ago."

Her smile faded a little. "…You met Okita-san?"

"Well, not technically. But I realized his presence and he realized mine, if that counts as a meeting," he said. Upon noticing the way Soyo's jaw hardened, Kamui chuckled. "Relax. We decided to ignore each other."

It was hard to conceal the relief she had in her eyes. But despite whatever conversation she had with Kamui, Soyo knew that Kamui's blood still boiled in excitement upon the possibility of fighting Okita. It had been so long since she last asked him, but she supposed it would not hurt to seek a confirmation. "Are you still intending to fight him?"

"I know he'd be busy for your guys' war tomorrow night –"

"After that?" she asked almost hesitantly. "After the war ends, will you still fight him?"

Kamui hesitated for a while. The answer that he came up with after was a mumble, as if he regretted telling her that he 'met' Okita earlier. "I'll always be attracted to fight the strong."

He did not need to look at her face to know the hard expression she had and the bitterness she must have felt. Sighing, and without looking at her, Kamui asked. "…Would it make you happy if I don't fight him?"

Soyo stared at Kamui who still refused to look at her. "Of course. Fighting practice is fine, but I know that when the two of you fight, you two will go all out and both of you will just hurting each other and –"

"Fine."

Soyo paused. Kamui still refused to look at her, but she felt like he still owed her more elaboration on that short statement he gave.

"Fine…what?" Soyo repeated.

Kamui actually groaned as he scratched his head –clear evidence that he absolutely wished he had not said the line. Soyo actually crawled to him and pulled on his braid to make him look back at her. Rolling his eyes in irritation, Kamui exhaled a deep breath before he turned his face to her (an action that Soyo had not expected –and surprised her due to the sudden proximity of their faces). With a scowl that made him look more a kid, Kamui opened his mouth (silent and no words for the first three seconds) before he finally confirmed. "Fine. I will not initiate a fight with him."

Soyo clasped her hands together, triumphant smile on her face. "Good boy!"

"But I'm free to fight those government officials tomorrow night, okay?"

"You'd actually help us in the war?" she asked –first time hearing this.

"Look, whatever we have between us, that doesn't change the fact that I still yearn and need battlefield."

Soyo smirked. "Yes. Go all mad for that purpose."

"Yeah," Kamui replied sourly.

It didn't escape her observation that the man was still obviously upset. "You don't like it?" she asked.

Kamui did not even bother to hide his foul mood. "Of course, I don't. I've been wanting to fight that policeman ever since five years ago! And now I have to promise not to fight him because you asked for it and –"

"Thank you," Soyo sincerely whispered as she laid her palm on top of his hand. "I know it's hard for you, but your reassurance means so much to me, and I want you to know that I'm really, really grateful for you."

"…"

"Kamui," Soyo tried again. "Thank you."

"I heard you," he replied slowly, still bitterly. He did not look back at her, and losing his interest, he made an abrupt movement to stand up. Her hand that was previously laid on top of his fell to the floor and Soyo was taken aback when Kamui really made a move to exit the room.

Soyo was about to stop him, but she refrained herself. What she had asked for Kamui might be for his best interest, but she knew how important it was for him, and how hard it had been for him to do that. She missed him already after two days not seeing him and she had hoped he would stay longer, but she knew her place –she had too much to request from him, and she would hate to make him do what he did not want to do.

The first syllable of plea ended in her throat before she could say it. But his rabbit-like ears always managed to hear the softest sound, and grumpily, he stopped himself from opening the door and turned around to face her.

Soyo still sat in the middle of the room –her hand was actually hanging in the air as if she had stopped herself before she could pull his arm back. She was in her sleeping kimono already (and it irked Kamui how that meant the policeman also got to see her in her sleeping attire –despite how concealing and thick the fabric was) and he had been in close proximity with her previously to know that she just washed her hair with that distinctive flowery scent of her.

But it was her eyes, at most, that made him unable to look away. Doe-eyed and nearly innocent –although he knew better that Tokugawa Soyo was _anything_ but innocent. There was always childlike playfulness in her eyes that hid the actual mature depth reflected there. Mostly, though, it was that kind of gaze that he hoped she only gave him –he could not describe it, the way she looked at him, that was. But all he knew, it was her eyes that always drew him in, heal him and poison him at the same time.

Kamui actually made a loud groan as he scratched his head and muttered.

"What the hell have you done to me, Brat?"

And before Soyo could even blink, Kamui took a step forward to cut the distance between them. In one fluid movement, he knelt and raised her chin up, bringing her lips to his kiss.

Soyo felt electricity ran throughout her entire body as his hand touched her chin, as his lips caressed hers. Her knees grew weak, and even when she was actually sitting, she felt like she could be a puddle when he held her like this, kissed her like this.

Her mind snapped when he bit her lower lips, and she quickly realized the situation and pushed his body away –actually earning an irritated groan from the man.

"What now?" he hissed.

"The guards are outside and –"

Rolling his eyes in irritation, he said, "I took care of them. The ones in the back included –"

"You didn't kill them, d-did you?"

"No," he muttered impatiently and with a scowl, Kamui challenged her, "What other excuses you have now, _Hime-sama_?"

The rather irritated gleam on his eyes made Soyo stuttered a bit. "N-none."

"Good girl," Kamui murmured as he claimed her lips back.

Upon feeling the softness of her lips again, Kamui actually wondered how the hell was he able to be so _damn_ patient all these times? He knew he liked the feel of her lips after that night they kissed when they were both drunk, and he decided that really, kissing her alone was addictive, intoxicating. Soyo was certainly not the first woman Kamui had kissed, but he was pretty sure that she was the first woman who could make him hard down there just by a mere lip lock.

And the suppressed moans she tried to cover really did nothing to put the fire in him down. Kamui suddenly had the urge to hear her moan out loud, scream his name, and so he bit her lips hard, hard enough for blood to come out from the little cut. His tongue lapped her cut before he gently sucked her lower lips.

Soyo actually groaned there and the sound of it coaxed him to take a bolder move.

His hand was placed on her shoulders, sensually stroking the side of her neck before he flattened his palms and pushed the garment that covered her pretty collarbones. He stopped rolling down the fabric just above her chest, but the absence of material on her shoulders already gave him sufficient (at least for the time being) access to trail butterfly kisses all over her upper chest.

The girl had been hesitant at first, but Kamui nearly smiled on her warm skin when her hands also made a move to his own Chinese-styled top. He nearly chuckled when she, in her haste and perhaps clouded mind, was not able to unbutton his button. He pulled away slightly to tilt his head and smirked at her, "You can rip it off if you want."

Soyo grimaced but decided not to follow his lead. Insistent, her fingers continued to fumble on his buttons, and out of pity Kamui helped her unbutton his shirt. When all three top buttons were off the latches, Kamui pulled the top over his head. He nearly wanted to laugh when he detected the slight disappointment on her eyes upon knowing that he was still wearing undershirt behind his top. Smirking, Kamui only drew the distance and leaned back farther from her. Then, with one left arm behind him to support his body, he moved his right index finger in a slow curl and uncurl motion –inviting her to ravage him instead.

"Don't play goody girl this time, Hime-sama."

Soyo scoffed, but unable to resist the urge herself, she lunged her body forward, lifting her bottom from her earlier sitting position, knelt on her knees and had her arms on the either side of his legs. Taking her arms off the floor and letting her body fall upon him, she then unrolled his undershirt herself before she tossed it aside to the corner of the room.

Kamui did not even have the chance to smirk in triumph, because the next thing he knew, Soyo immediately kissed his chest and licked his nipple. And as if it had not been a bold enough first move from her side, he felt her hand stroked the bulge underneath his pants and before he knew it, she had him in her palm within seconds.

Backfired plan, Kamui was the first one to actually moan out loud.

Soyo did not actually stop there. The girl actually unzipped his pants and he instinctively lifted his lower body slightly upward so that she could quickly roll off his pants and boxer to his mid thigh –exposing him first before he could actually see her exposed.

She had no lotion with him, and so she stroked his shaft raw with her small hands.

"Fuck," he murmured breathlessly first when she gripped him harder down there –completely, _completely_ having him under her sly control. Both of them could feel how he grew bigger down below, and Soyo lifted her face a little to watch him with a darkening, lustful eyes that posed him the challenge. Kamui laughed humorlessly upon seeing this side of her –just what animal had he woken up?

"Don't play goody boy this time, Villain," she returned the mockery –and to his surprise, she descended her face down there and put his length into her mouth.

He jerked involuntarily upon feeling the sudden contact of her lips around his shaft and her tongue going all the way down his manhood.

"Fuck," he cursed again after a few moments of breathless groans. "Fuck you, Tokugawa Soyo."

He admitted that she was a bit clumsy down there and he wondered if this was the first oral sex she had. In fact, he wondered whether this was her first time or not. At one point, he detected the usual hesitation of a novice, but at the other moment, her bold moves surprised him as if she was actually born to do it. The brief reminder that the girl might possibly not be a virgin actually pissed him off. He knew that, if fair principle was adapted, he had no right to complaint –given that Soyo was not the first woman he had intercourse with. But still…

He bit his lips to stop himself from moaning, although his hand made a reflex gesture on the top of her dark hair, pushed her head lower and coaxed her to suck him harder below.

"T-this…" he began, hating the fact that it was actually hard to control his voice. "Y-you… how many, urgh," he paused when he felt her gripped his balls hard. "H-how many men have had you in their beds?" he finally finished her sentence, mentally noting to hunt down every man that had the luxury of taking her first.

Kamui felt her pause, and he nearly groaned for the sudden interruption that he made himself. But Soyo then sucked him real hard – _so hard,_ that he was truly unable to control himself and ejaculated onto her.

He groaned in defeat and disappointment that he had to come that fast. He felt like he needed to reflect on a lot of things.

After nearly five minutes of blow job, Soyo finally pulled her face from his crotch and sat on her folded legs again. He could see his white cum splattered onto her face and some to her hand, and to his dismay, the vixen actually had the nerve to erotically lick the substance on her hand. The fact that someone who was supposed to be all prim and proper, the former princess of Edo, of all people, did such indecent action…Kamui swore he grew hard again just by the sight of that.

"…You're my first," she said as she continued to lick her own finger.

"Liar."

"I swear," Soyo said. "I do have a lot of sexual education including how to please men in bed. Giving heir is the only thing a puppet princess was expected to do, so I was forced to study hard on that."

He cringed. "With practice?"

"Demonstrative pictures and explanations. Books," she shrugged.

Kamui snorted.

Talent or no talent, he knew that all the reaction she made him feel was due to the fact that she, Tokugawa Soyo, and no other woman, who was doing this to him.

 _Still_ , he thought darkly. She had real talent in giving a blow job.

He gazed at her who was still mostly clad in her full white simple kimono (while he, on the other hand, was as good as being stark naked). Kamui knew he had to turn it back to a status quo.

Without warning (payback, bitch), he lunged forward, grabbed the garment that rested on her upper arm and quickly yanked it down –the sudden force tore a portion of her kimono. Soyo actually shrieked in surprise and he raised an interested eyebrow upon discovering that she still opted for a more traditional white-bandage chest binds instead of bras.

His arms were extended and went around her slim figure to her back, trying to find the knot. He found it tied securely on her upper back. He easily untied the knot and she could feel the binds came slightly loose, although it still perfectly hid her breasts from him.

Contrary to his rather abrupt motion of jerking away her kimono, Kamui actually went to the achingly slow way of unrolling the bandage off her.

"Put both your hands on my shoulders," he instructed. Although hesitant at first, Soyo eventually obeyed and rested her palms on his firm shoulders.

Kamui nodded in approval, before he began to unroll the first layer of bandage around her body.

Soyo did a lot of layers to bind her chest, but despite the hassle, Kamui admitted that he actually enjoyed the slow process of patiently unrolling the bandage. He maintained his eye contact at her, and he knew this made her uncomfortable and it actually pleased him that she still had this embarrassment about showing her body to a man –it made all the tantalizing process of unrolling her chest bind the more exciting.

"…Just take it off already," Soyo eventually murmured –breaking eye contact from him, because there was no way she could not keep her cool when he was looking at her with that kind of intensity, yet contradictorily intentional slow movement of unbinding her.

Kamui smirked but never took her eyes off her face –putting her in more humiliation. "What, you really can't wait?" he whispered, occasionally touching the front of her still covered chest in an "accidental" way as he slowly unrolled the bandage.

"N-no, i-it's…" Soyo couldn't finish her words. Funny. The more he unbound her, the more suffocated her chest felt. "It's just…embarrassing."

"Hmm?" he made a noncommittal murmur but kept her eyes focused on her face.

It was finally the last few layers, and upon a quick glance below, Kamui could see that her nipples were slightly poking beneath the fabric. Deciding that it was time, he made a sudden pull of her bandages –the fabric roughly brushing against her nipples and Soyo shuddered at the sensation.

Before checking out what she had in store for him there, Kamui decided that it could wait because he had the urge to kiss her again.

Soyo muffled in surprise, but it was nearly inaudible, as he quickly deepened his kiss to he extent that she was unable to say a thing. Quickly, he moved her arms on his shoulders and pushed her arms to be adjoined together behind her back, and, before she could make any movement, Kamui quickly used the bandage to tie her arms behind her back.

Satisfied, he finally drew back to take a look of her –long, black hair already in disarrays, cheeks flushed in the prettiest shade of pink, lips parted open and slightly swollen due to the kiss. Her kimono was only partially discarded, and it laid on her hip, the sash already coming loose, but it still secured the garment loosely together. Her breasts ( _B-cup,_ he quickly determined) came in full view and despite not being particularly big, the way he bound her arms behind her back had made her chest slightly pushed forward and her nipples perky.

He liked what he saw. Kamui decided that instead of going for a full nudity, he actually thought this partial exposure way more erotic –as if she was reluctantly violated, and it really excited him.

And as if he was not already a tease, Kamui actually leaned back and took his time to unbind his own arm bandages. He chuckled when he heard Soyo groaned.

"Patience," he told her. "I know you want me too, but all in good –" he paused upon noticing that she had extended her left leg to him, and now her toes were making some gesture back on his exposed shaft. Grunting (but not hating her initiative), he told her, "Goddamnit, woman. Keep your feet to yourself."

"Really?" she tested.

Groaning at how much control she actually had on him (more than he thought she did), he reluctantly replied, "No…"

She smiled and kept rubbing her feet on his crotch as he continued to unbind his own bandages. "…It's just cold. And uncomfortable," she reasoned –and he involuntarily stole a glance to her erect nipples. Damn, she really made it hard for _him_ to be patient, didn't she?

He himself had enough teasing. Upon discarding the last layers of bandage from his hands, Kamui quickly grabbed Soyo's body and effortlessly seated her on his laps. He pulled the tied arms behind her back, so that Soyo had to bend and she arched her breasts in just the right position to Kamui's face. Having no patience left himself, Kamui immediately sucked on her left breast.

Soyo moaned when Kamui's other hand fully grabbed her right breast, and his thumb made some sensual circling movement on her pink nipple. Not giving her enough time to rest, Kamui also twirled his tongue on her left nipple, licking it thoroughly. He could feel her breaths were running short and shorter, and his manhood could already sense the dampness on her still clothed lower part.

The heat down there coaxed him to be bolder. He pinched her right nipple and bit her left one.

The gasp and moans that came from her lips truly urged him to violate her more. Kamui squeezed her right breast harder and his other hand left her tied arms and snaked down into her lower region. He really couldn't hold himself that time, and upon finding her underwear, he quickly tore it open and discarded it somewhere he did not care.

Soyo was already _so_ wet don there that Kamui's fingers slipped in so easily.

Her hip jolted and he used the moment to slip two more fingers inside her.

"Oh God," Soyo whispered when she felt three fingers were inside her. Shutting her eyes shut, Soyo moaned loud enough when Kamui's thumb rubbed her clitoris.

She actually whimpered then and there. His fingers inside swere stroking her, exploring her inner walls, but never seared deep enough to break her hymen. She was frustrated at how he never plunged his fingers deep enough but she was morbid at the thought of how she wanted him so deep inside of her.

To her disappointment, he pulled out his fingers from her womanhood. She nearly glared at him (he suppressed the urge to chuckle, because that look on her was actually adorable). With an innocent smile, he raised his fingers in front of her –showing her just how wet she was down there.

"Lick it for me?" he requested with a tone so childish that she found him to be impossible.

Begrudgingly, she opened her mouth and he fully inserted his three fingers inside her mouth. She tasted herself and it was weird, but she did not particularly dislike it.

Kamui smiled at her, and as a reward for her cooperation, he got his other hand to work her wonder down there. And just like before, just before she reached her climax, he deliberately stopped.

"You sadist," she scowled.

"Coming from you that's a compliment," Kamui said as he lowered her back down to the floor again.

But he lifted her legs and put each on each of his shoulder –allowing him a full sight of her most private area.

"You're pretty," Kamui complimented.

"And you're a pervert," Soyo spat unconvincingly –when she was laid down and she could not see clearly what he was doing.

His fingers parted her labia but before he tasted her, he earnestly said, "Not just this. But you. You are pretty."

The fact that he complimented her at the most unlikely time would have fluttered her heart. But because Kamui immediately plunged his tongue in the next second, Soyo's heart did a different kind of sommersault.

"N-no," she weakly muttered when she felt his tongue reached deep in her. She felt weird all over, her toes curled and even when tied, her fingers clawed the sheet behind her. Her entire body felt tingly all over and he had to firmly grab her thighs on his shoulders to keep her from jerking. Kamui trailed his hands upward, trailing on her thighs until he stopped on her buttocks, and firmly grabbed her mounds –pushing her closer to his mouth.

Kamui continued to lick her down there and probed his tongue deep inside, shamelessly exploring her. Soyo thought she blacked out, only that it was whiteness that she felt clouding her head.

When she felt the cloud disappeared, she was already out of breaths. Kamui had pulled her back up until she straddled him again. Breathlessly, she stared at his face, and judging by their position, she knew what was coming next.

He did not say a word, but his eyes (for the first time the clear blue eyes were actually in their darkest hues) looked deep into her. Kamui untied the bind of her arms, and nearly could not believe that he was actually nervous for this one. He licked his lips and Soyo could feel his shaft so close to her entrance.

Bu he stopped and raised his hands to her face, brushing her long, black hair to the side of her face, the smile on his face was nothing like the one he secured on his face in battlefield. Soyo did not know why her heart could feel so warm upon looking at this cold-blooded murderer, but she smiled back for a moment, before she cupped his face with both of his hands and kissed him gently.

He closed his eyes and pushed his entire length into her cavern.

It was her first time, and she would lie if that did not sting. It was not his first time, but he would admit that it almost felt like it was.

She gave a mild yelp when he broke her hymen, and he grunted as he felt her entire inner walls on him. Kamui took control in the pacing, as he pulled out and entered her back –slowly at first, but he picked up the pace. Soyo moaned loudly –no longer caring of her surrounding and Kamui couldn't even get a hold of himself. She was damn tight, but even beyond the physical sense of fullness, he felt…

…he did not know the perfect word for it. Kamui felt empowered, he felt excited, he felt fulfilled, he felt content, he felt like he did not need anything else in this world, he felt –

Soyo surmised the sensation to him.

"You complete me," she murmured on his lips.

Kamui widened his eyes and stared at her.

Smiling shyly, Soyo added, "Not just this…intercourse, but I just… I've never felt so complete. Physically and mentally. I just… I don't know, Kamui. I just… I think I lo –"

He kissed her before she could say it.

His sudden kiss surprised her, and she could feel the slight trembles on his shoulders that she did not understand. But Soyo decided to go with his flow, and she encircled her arms around his neck and kissed him back.

A part of Kamui would regret it that he did not let Soyo finish her words that day.

* * *

 **To be Continued**


	22. Blindspot

**A/N:** Hello all (for those who are still here for the story). Sorry for the long hiatus and for not replying to the lovely reviews. I read them all and I am very, very thankful of them. I thought of abandoning this story, but you guys deserve a closure –which I haven't written, but I'll still try. In the mean time, we're getting closer to the end and I hope you can enjoy 2 chapters from this fic.

* * *

 **What Pumps the Blood (Faster)**

 **Chapter 22 – Blindspot**

* * *

 _Of all things that Kamui dreamt that night, it was of the last night the Night King Housen spent on earth._

 _The room was the same; the situation was the same; there were those women whose presences never mattered and Yoshiwara was at the peak of its dark glory. There was a young boy with vermillion hair, succumbing to his appetite as he swallowed a whole large bowl of rice himself; there was his loyal subordinate slash vice-captain; there was a kid who dreamt of meeting his mother, and there was –_

 _No Housen._

 _Instead, Kamui saw it from Housen's eyes. He sat there as he watched the young lad who was him five years prior put down the bowl and made the idle walk to approach him. Now that Kamui looked at him, looked at himself five years prior, he realized how little he had changed. Five years did less to his physical appearance –he was still as youthful as ever. Strength, perhaps his current self was stronger, but he wouldn't look lightly on his past self, because Kamui knew it better than anybody: the ambition, the young blood that ached with determination, himself –it was a mirror, and it confused him to know how really, nothing much had differed._

 _But the him five years ago thought otherwise._

 _The younger Kamui took bold steps, before he finally sat beside the him five years after, and whispered the very same words he said to Housen five years ago._

" _Even a man like you understands when he's been beaten, allowing himself to become this entranced with one woman, it's sickening."_

 _It all made sense –'he' said it himself five years ago, and Kamui knew his rationales and believed his principles._

 _But perhaps now he could feel the agitation, the plain irritation that Housen had felt five years ago, when he, when now his five-year-younger self whispered the words. There. His blood boiled. It was annoying. Kamui tried to hide his wrath beneath his calm façade, but the him five years ago smiled better than him now, as the younger self reminded him._

" _Hey, Kamui," he spoke to his older self._

 _The irritation doubled. The urge to kill intensified. The battlefield he yearned for was right before his eyes. The identity he could not hide –_

" _A man drunk with sake is distinctive, but a man drunk on a woman is just unsightly."_

 _Kamui pierced his old self's chest, and it died, but its laughs echoed –reminding him just how heavenly the feel of piercing one's flesh was._

* * *

The morning after was a ruckus –in a much more exaggerated way.

The first scream came from a far, but then the second, the third, and after that, the _umpteenth_ woke her up.

Soyo immediately rose from the futon, and she did not need any further wake-up call to realize that screaming was coming from the outside.

"What the hell?" a male voice expressed cursing first thing first in the morning.

Soyo felt the movement from his side: a bare chest Kamui was rubbing the sleep off is eyes, his orange hair was loose and, under different circumstances, Soyo would have blushed profusely at the sight and the realization of what just happened between them.

But this was another circumstances, and the echoing screams as well as the loud disturbances coming out of the premise alarmed her. She yanked the blanket off her, ran in her semi-nude glory to the window and tried to discern what was happening.

The vast garden and the walls prevented her from seeing what actually happened –but there were visible smokes on some buildings beyond the walls of the garden, and there were _numerous_ of them.

Still in a sleepy voice, Kamui, who did not need to see the sight on the outside of the window but already had enough experience and instinct, recited to Soyo, "Do they start the war early?"

Pulling herself away from the window, Soyo said, "Katsura-san and Hijikata-san will never intentionally allow civilians to be involved. This is a civilian residence area, which means…" she did not finish her words because she knew that an urgent situation was coming in and she had to act fast.

Immediately rushing to her cupboards to get a fresh pile of clothing, Soyo tried to dress herself up as fast as she could. She could see from the corner of her eyes that Kamui was doing the same thing, though begrudgingly (he was not a morning person and he had expected a follow-up morning sex). More explosions sounds echoed around them, and the roofs above their heads actually shook slightly. Not enough force to make the roofs collapse, but enough to send dusts and particles down.

Soyo had just finished tying up the sash to secure her kimono, when there were hurried steps coming from the outside. The knocks were hurried –formalistic. The door to her room swung open, revealing two guards who barged in.

"Hime-sama! Are you alright?! We apologize, we did not know that –" one of them paused upon realizing the presence of another person who was not supposed to be in the room. Aiming his sword to Kamui, the guard yelled, "Who are you?! What have you done to Hime-sama?!"

Soyo heard Kamui murmured something under his breath that sounded like 'I should've killed you all last night', but she decided she really had no time for this. Turning to the guards, Soyo stated, "That doesn't matter. This man is with us. More importantly, what happened?! What's the situation out there?!"

One of the guards was about to say something, but then he was shoved before he could say so. The guards were about to raise their weapons to the person who suddenly came from their behind, but they immediately put down their weapons.

"Matsudaira-san!" Soyo exclaimed to the aging policeman who came and immediately filled the room with the scent of smoke from the cigarettes he inhaled. "Matsudaira-san, what happened?! How could we allow any skirmishes to occur in the civilian areas?!"

Matsudaira blew a smoke first before he recited, "Because it's not our force who did this. Hitotsubashi is trying to burn this town down."

Soyo felt her knees weakened. " _What_?"

"Change of plan, Hime-sama," Matsudaira dropped the bomb. "This clearly no longer becomes a safe place for you. We are escorting you out of Edo."

"But what about Edo?!" Soyo snapped.

Matsudaira's answer was of another thing –things that did not calm Soyo's mind. "Nobunobu seemed to have a sniff of our plan," Matsudaira said as he gritted his teeth. "No wonder it's been fairly easy to mobilize our troops to Edo. That bastard intentionally lured all of our forces here, cornering us inside and trying to burn us down with the whole Edo."

"Is he crazy?! All major government buildings are here, the Edo castle is here, all of his resources are here and he's burning them –"

"We heard report that he had taken his flee. I think all he cares is to finish us all here."

Soyo was stunned. Nobunobu cared for nothing but himself –he would not even care for his own collapsing government if he could still be the ruler. Such a reckless decision, yet he benefited the most out of it. Soyo thought that she might have underestimated Nobunobu. That man might have been an egomaniac idiot, but when it came to _guts_ , he surely was one of the kinds.

The sounds of screaming from the outside really did not make it easier for her to concentrate on a plan. "…Let him have his way. This is our chance to take over Edo Castle and the central government posts, _but_ only do that _after_ we evacuate all civilians."

Matsudaira nodded. "That's Katsura's and Toshi's plan as well."

"Good," Soyo said as she hurried to the door. "Now let's save as many as –" her speech was halted when Matsudaira's arm stopped her.

"Shinsengumi and the others will evacuate and take control of the government posts. You, on the other hand, must escape Edo."

"Yes, I will. Together with the others."

"We cannot protect you here, Hime-sama," Matsudaira said with gritted teeth.

Soyo tried to break free from Matsudaira's grasp. "Where's Kagura-chan? The Yorozuya, my friends, I want to see them all. I need to –"

"Hime-sama, understand your position!" Matsudaira yelled to the point of immediately shutting Soyo up. Soyo widened her eyes, because while Matsudaira was known to be harsh to his subordinates, he never raised a voice towards her. Angrily, the older man retorted, "You are the last heir to the Tokugawa family! You are Shou-chan's only sister! We need you to be alive!"

"But –"

The roof shook once again and this time, cracking sounds were heard. Had it not been for Kamui who batted the falling ceiling with his umbrella, Soyo and Matsudaira would have been flattened to the ground.

"Enough," Matsudaira commanded as he pulled Soyo closer to his side. "You are to leave this place now."

Staying inside the house that could collapse anytime soon did not seem like the best idea. Putting aside the debate she had in herself, Soyo reluctantly followed Matsudaira out of the house.

Outside, it was not better. The morning was to be one of Edo's worst nightmare. She could see the smokes clearer now –not in the actual vicinity to where she was standing, but the number of smokes, the endless screaming, mortified Soyo.

Matsudaira's police car was already parked outside the Joui premise. His driver opened the backseat door and upon opening the other side of the door, Matsudaira told her, "We've prepared a vessel to depart Edo. You are to board on that ship and I promise, our forces will handle the situation in Edo for you to come back. And we don't have time, Hime-sama. If the vessel departs later, it would be blocked and we will lose our chance."

Rushed to make decision, Soyo gritted her teeth but eventually decided to follow Matsudaira's instruction. She was about to get into the car, but then she stopped herself, turned around and faced Kamui.

"…Can I request you to stay here and help the people in Edo?"

The lack of surprise on Kamui's eyes showed how much he had predicted this. Crossing his arms in front of his chest, he told her, "You are not my master and I don't carry your order."

"I know it's very selfish of me to ask, and if I have the power I swear I would have stayed as well –"

"No, you go board on that vessel, I agree with that old man," interrupted Kamui. "But I'm not letting you off my sight again. I'm coming with you."

"Please –"

"You use that word too much on me, Brat," pointed out Kamui. "There's a limit to everything."

There was another explosion heard from the west. Soyo shut her eyes and Matsudaira shouted for her to get inside the car already. Recovering from the shock, Soyo still remained standing outside the car and stared at Kamui. The challenge was silent, but he knew her enough to realize that she would not leave for her safety unless she had assurance that he would agree to help the civilians here in Edo.

Rolling his eyes in irritation (this sly girl did know how to get the best of him), Kamui pushed her inside the car but before the girl could protest, Kamui looked at Matsudaira instead and sent him his warning with a smile.

"Old man, you protect this girl with your life, alright? If not, I'll have your heart as the retribution," he said before he shut the door and tapped the roof of the car to signal it to ride away. The car did not need to be instructed, Matsudaira had given the order to the driver to drive quickly to Edo Port.

Kamui stood as he watched the car left, before he huffed a sigh.

Great, now he had to spend his morning playing hero.

* * *

Soyo knew that technically she was no longer a princess and that she deserved none of this extra protection. The vessel (which turned out to be a battleship much bigger than what she would have expected as an escaping ship) had sailed on the sea –it had been nearly an hour since it left the harbor. There was nothing around them but sea and the safety it should have guaranteed –but the more the vessel sailed to the safer location, the more unrest her mind became.

"…I should not have left," she decided as she stared at the invisible spot where Edo land was supposed to be at. There was nothing she could hear except for the waves and the seagulls, but she knew that terrorized screams must have been echoing in Edo.

And she rescued herself alone.

Her grip around the deck's handle strengthened. It _had not_ been unusual –five years ago, when she was oblivious with the political turmoil and just wanted to go with her brother to places that she was rarely given the chance to see. Things were different now, and it bothered her.

"Hime-sama, you should go inside. There's no use of getting you on this vessel if you made yourself an easy target in the blatant daylight," said Matsudaira –who had come to the deck to pick up the former princess again, the third time already of doing so. If anything, Soyo was insistent, and few people could resist her wish, and unfortunately for them, she _knew_ it.

But she decided that Matsudaira had enough going back and forth the control room and deck within the span of an hour, and eventually resolved to just wait in the control room like a good girl. She took seat on the farthest corner in the control room, and Matsudaira stood beside her –his smoke smelled differently but so did everything else.

"With a vessel this big, we could have transported a lot more people," muttered Soyo. Matsudaira told her that this ship was one that his forces managed to hijack from the Hitotsubashi faction (that explained the emblem carved on the outer body of the vessel) and that it was a last-minute resort –importing other people were not the priority, as ruthless as it sounded. Soyo sighed and the futile "still…" died on the tips of her tongue.

* * *

Kamui ran out of patience.

He hid his impatience behind the smiling façade, but his sister knew him enough to give him that comment.

"If you're so forced to do this, then just don't do it," the orange-haired lady shouted as she pulled a carriage filled with a dozen children. Children cries were heard from the carriage she pulled –it got to her nerves too, but seeing her brother do this was really making Kagura's patience thinned.

"Really? I can just leave these things here then?" Kamui asked as pointed out at the carriage he was pulling next to his sister –much to the morbid gasps of the kids in the carriage Kamui pulled.

"You can't!"

"Why not? I am forced to do this, and you said I don't have to do it if that's the case."

Kagura shouted profanities and scolded her older brother again. It was something he easily ignored –if he thought for the slightest bit that his sister would have softened against him after the talk about their parents that night, then Kamui got his hoped too high. Well, it wasn't as if he was not used to the hostility his sister had for him, so he let Kagura rant all the way she wanted.

But Kamui did not stop pulling the carriage.

Kagura noticed this, but said not a word on that.

The whole riots that had been ensuing in Edo this morning was relatively quick to be put down. After all, they had most of their forces in Edo already. The Shinsengumi and the main force of the Joui patriots had raided Edo castle earlier that day –facing much less force than they had expected. It turned out that Nobunobu and the members of the Hitotsubashi had truly escaped Edo Castle –leaving only less than fifty guards sacrificed futilely to protect the castle. This was not surprising, considering how a man as selfish as him would not want to be in a town where he instructed riots to be started in.

It was the aftermath, however, that demanded bigger attention.

Most of the fire spots had been set off, although the Tokugawa loyalist still worked to set down the remaining ones. However, the effect of the early morning chaos had caused panic to the civilians –children being separated with their parents were one of the main problems. Kagura and Kamui were tasked by Hijikata to be responsible with the lost children –an irony truly.

"Big brother."

It took him a while to take notice of the words, of the greeting. It sounded weird, and he was almost sure it was not directed to him, but he recognized his sister's voice well enough to know that it was Kagura saying it –and that there was no other person whom she would call a brother.

He turned at Kagura, and Kagura chose the exact second to turn her face away. Kamui blinked and assured himself that he must have been imagining things.

But he did not.

Kagura, despite not looking at him, murmured. It was very slow and low –had Kamui not been gifted with keen hearing, he would have missed the words.

"Thank you," the little sister said. "Thank you for proving to me that you can change. That you'd be able to defeat that cursed Yato blood in you."

His smile dropped. A part of Kamui was relieved that Kagura was too proud to look at him. "…I really have had enough with troublesome brats," muttered Kamui instead. "This is the last batch we are transporting, right?" he asked once he stopped pulling the carriage once they reached the refugee assembly point.

Abuto was waiting in the assembly point to greet them. "Well, no. There are still hundreds of missing elderly reports, so after this, you go bring some more, Captain," the man said as he moved to the children to take notes of their names and tried to match the data with the inquiring parents. Kamui groaned and gave a comment on how Abuto really should work in a daycare service next time, because really, handling brats really seemed to be his forte.

Kagura swung her arms and massaged her shoulders. "Come on, idiot," she told her brother. "We haven't covered the Ebisu district. Let's get going," the younger sister mandated to her groaning brother.

* * *

She clutched the fabric of her kimono and unclutched. Sighed and bit her nails. Walked around the space in the control room as if the movements could make her less restless.

"Hime-sama, please rest easy," Matsudaira murmured as his eyes took note on how the former princess was to make another walk to the deck.

"Have we heard anything from the main land yet?" Soyo asked Matsudaira for the eight time already in the span of five hours after the vessel departed from the harbor.

Matsudaira had resorted to shaking his head or murmuring 'no' for quite some times –this time, his reply was only a defeated sigh. It did not make Soyo any less restless and Matsudaira nearly groaned when the young girl attempted to climb back to the deck again. "Hime-sama, please, just –"

Soyo stopped.

Not by Matsudaira's words or pleas, but by the sudden blast that shook the vessel. She lost balance and fell to the floor –Matsudaira yelled in worry as he tried to approach the girl.

"W-what happened?" Soyo asked as she nursed her head –which hit the edge of the table when she fell.

Matsudaira knelt beside the princess, but he turned around and gazed at the large monitor in the control room. The radars spotted something; the alarm went on and panicked murmurs spread among the ship crew who had maintained their silence previously.

"…Enemy vessel," Matsudaira whispered. "We've been discovered."

* * *

"Let me rest for a while!" Kamui whined. Kagura turned around and gave him a glare, to which Abuto noticed and gave his chuckle for.

"Were you two always like this back then when you were younger?" Abuto asked as he lifted the last child off the carriage and carefully placed him on the ground.

"She was much a cuter kid back then. Now she rebels to her brother and acts out like delinquent," Kamui muttered ( _"I heard that! And don't twist the fact!"_ yelled Kagura ahead of him).

"The air of hostility between you is different," pointed out Abuto. "I don't know what happened, but I think it's better this way."

"Nothing changes," Kamui muttered briefly before Kagura yelled at him for following her faster. "Coming!" he shouted back. Shaking his head, Kamui really thought that Hitotsubashi was truly a joke, and this whole all-out war itself was a comedy on its own. He would point out that despite the control Shinsengumi had in Edo Castle at the moment, Hitotsubashi still filed a score for making them rob an empty house while they could build their new force somewhere else. But he knew that it was a sensitive matter to the soldiers who were already getting fired up for nothing. Kamui did not mind pointing out this fact to them, of course, but his sister would probably scold him again, and he just had enough hearing scolding from brats. Soyo should have not asked him to stay here in Edo to do trivial things.

Kagura was yelling at him to hurry up for the third time, and Kamui would have rushed up to her (for the sake of not hearing her complaint only, really), had his eyes not caught that sight.

Stopping his steps, he turned around and widened his eyes at the sight of the grey hair, shades and cigarette.

"Why is that man not with her?"

* * *

Matsudaira took over the command. "Launch the retaliation attack."

The order was executed swiftly. The control room had the sturdiest construction, but the moment the cannon shot its missiles, it was still loud and blunt; the room shook a little and Soyo covered her ears as more and more shoots were launched.

Soyo opened her eyes again and gazed at the monitor in the control room. She could see how the missiles all hit its target –the larger battle ship ahead of them. The opponent ship took the direct hits, but it remained afloat –its size contributed to the steadiness. Seeing that the opponent ship had yet to sink, Matsudaira demanded more canons to fire. It was an aggressive attack –Matsudaira really spared less and continuously shot the vessel.

The only time he stopped ordering the firing was when he spoke to her, "Hime-sama, can you stand beside me?" Matsudaira asked as he stood in front of the monitor –when the opponent ship was readying its own oppressive attack.

Soyo took a moment –too stunned to realize that this was yet another battle she had to be involved in. Perhaps it was only fair. She did leave her friends in a battle of their own, she had no reason not to face her own battle. Matsudaira called out to her again –this time with more urgency, and Soyo picked a handful of her kimono material and took quick steps to join Matsudaira in front of the monitor.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Just stand here," Matsudaira instructed.

Soyo frowned, but found no reason why she should not do otherwise. So, she stood there in front of the mirror –watching as Matsudaira continue to order more series of attacks to the battle vessel.

It took five minutes of constant firing, before Soyo stammered. "I-isn't this enough?"

"What?"

Pointing out at the opponent vessel on the monitor, Soyo said, "That ship only launches one attack, and it has not fired back at us again."

"It still hasn't sunk," Matsudaira muttered. "We fire it until it sinks."

Soyo was silenced –she knew nothing of battle strategy and decided to leave it back to Matsudaira.

But the opponent ship truly did not make any retaliation attack, even after more and more constant firing from Matsudaira's side. The latest missile seemed to be the crucial blow –the sturdy battle ship on the monitor finally succumbed to the constant firings, fatal holes on its body too much to handle its balance. The back part of the opponent vessel tilted, and Soyo knew that the ship would sink soon.

Matsudaira still ordered the firings to be made.

"Isn't it enough?" Soyo asked again, as she could see silhouettes of people jumping from the sinking ship. "They no longer attack us."

"A reinforcement opponent ship at two o'clock," informed the vessel controller who sat in front of Soyo.

"Fire at that one as well," ordered Matsudaira.

More blasting sounds were heard as seemingly endless missiles were launched to the second ship. Soyo shut her eyes and covered her ears as the second opponent ship took more attacks –again, with no resistance.

"They're really not attacking back…" whispered Soyo. "A-are you sure it's the enemy ship?"

"Yes," Matsudaira replied shortly before he ordered more and more firings to be made.

Soyo bit her lips as she saw how the second ship –despite its size – was barely attacking back. It took her another minute to evaluate the situation, before she sighed and gave the command.

"Stop the firing."

Perhaps it was the loud sound of the missiles being fired, but none of the controller stopped firing. Soyo said her instruction again, this time with louder voice –loud enough that she was sure the staffs were to hear that. They still did not adhere to her command.

"Matsudaira. It's enough. Stop firing," Soyo demanded.

Matsudaira raised his hands, and immediately, all the firings were stopped. Soyo exhaled a sigh she did not know she was holding, as Matsudaira gave the next order to sail through to the third opponent ship that sailed slowly beside the second vessel. The speed of the ship Soyo was in accelerated until it crossed the ocean and managed to sail right next to the third one.

Matsudaira dropped the bomb again.

"Fire," he said, and the series of missiles were directed to the third vessel.

"Matsudaira!"

Fired at a much closer range –the third ship took the direct hit the worse. It was less than a minute before the opponent ship began to sink again.

Soyo dreadfully watched as the third ship sank. She knew this was war, and war must be fought at all measures. Yet it still did not sound just to fire three battle ships that really did not pose them any threat and –

Soyo was stunned.

She felt air was cut off her lungs when the realization hit her. She did not turn her face to look at Matsudaira, but she could see from the corner of her eyes, Matsudaira who was still focused on trying to completely destroy the opponent ships.

Slowly, Soyo took a step back. Matsudaira had not noticed. All the controller staffs also still had their eyes focused on the monitor and the equipment in front of them. Slowly, ever so slowly and as careful as she could, Soyo took more steps, turned around, and was about to have her first run, when Matsudaira called out.

"Where are you going, Hime-sama?"

Soyo stopped dead on her track, but did not make the effort to turn around to face Matsudaira again. The words that came out of her lips was a quiver. "F-fresh air. I-I think I need fresh air."

"The air stinks out there –sulphur and those rotten corpses and all."

Her jaw trembled. This was bad. How could she not have realized it sooner?!

"I-it's alright," she insisted as she tried to make more steps closer to the stairs. "O-or I'll just take your advice to rest for a while. S-seeing battle really is not good for my heart after all."

"Just a while, Hime-sama. Just keep watching as we're winning our war," Matsudaira said as he laid his hand on Soyo's shoulders.

Soyo gulped when she felt the coldness on her shoulder. She knew the answer, yet she still asked the rhetorical question. "W-whose war?"

Matsudaira forcefully turned Soyo's body around so that she could stare at him –or rather, at the stranger figure who was now peeling the mask off his face.

Another presence lurked behind Soyo and the new person laid his hand on Soyo's shoulders again. The voice was familiar –so familiar, it killed her.

"Ours," Nobunobu whispered behind her.

* * *

When the bits and pieces were collected and things started to make sense, it was already too late.

Of course. _Of course,_ Soyo cursed herself because while she knew her senses would not have to be as sharp as a shinobi, even she shouldn't have been this _reckless_.

It was a stupid decision –to follow the fake Matsudaira alone and invited herself into the Hitotsubashi's battleship where all crews were under the command of Nobunobu himself, and that the man was there as well.

Now, it was also no wonder why the three 'opponent' battle ships this Hitotsubashi had sunk did not a single retaliation act. It was no wonder why 'Matsudaira' insisted that she stayed in the control room. Simply put, Soyo had voluntarily and unknowingly made herself a stupid hostage –her face must have been shown to the monitor of the three battle ships (which must have been on the Tokugawa side) so that no ship dared to fire a missile to the Hitotsubashi ship, while the latter was free to do all the unilateral massacre itself.

And three battle ships sunk. And probably hundreds of valuable soldiers perished. And it was all because she was tricked –no, because she was just simply being too naïve enough.

"Judging from your expression, I don't have to do the elaboration to you?" said Nobunobu as he crossed his leg to sit more comfortably on the opposite side of the table. "Oh, but well, let me elaborate it still to you anyway. You, Soyo-Hime, are the very cause of your own side's annihilation. Thank you for helping us. We couldn't have done this without you."

Soyo _tried_ to be smart. She tried to overcome the problem, but no matter how she looked at it, it was dead end to her. She was in her enemy's battleship, surrounded by the armies of the Hitotsubashi, with the very person she hated enough to core smirking triumphantly in front of her. This was not the same situation with the incident with Toshio a couple of days prior –she was practically and virtually alone, in her enemy's territory instead of Edo. And she was doomed. But worse than that, Soyo knew she was, at the end of the day, responsible for the destruction of the three battle ships that were supposed to be her side's force. She knew that.

Nobunobu knew this as well, and being him, he just loved to rub the salt on the wound.

"If only you weren't that foolish, Hime-sama, hundreds of people would probably still be alive," Nobunobu pointed out. "There's a good word for it, what is it, ah… murderer?"

She flinched, and she wished Nobunobu did not see it, but she knew that he did, and she hated to see that widening smirk on his face.

"That Toshio guy might have failed and miscalculated your little stunt, but at least, he showed me a good point that I overlooked in the past," Nobunobu recalled. "A pat on your shoulder, Hime-sama. Maybe you're not as useless as everyone thought you are. Being a symbol does bring its merit, eh? For our side, at least."

If there was a face Soyo swore she could skin with her own hand, it would be Nobunobu's. But regardless of how disgusted she was to look at the face of her brother's murderer, she swallowed her own abhorrence, lifted her chin up and finally leveled herself to Nobunobu. The man seemed peculiarly amused at this resistance, and he allowed her share of talk.

"It all seems a waste to let go of your comfortable seat on your castle just to capture me, eh?" Soyo started. "The fact that you're here means that Edo Castle is at its lowest defense level –nothing that our force couldn't take over."

Soyo sighed loudly on purpose. The change of look on Nobunobu's face showed her that her observation might have been correct. And Soyo, being quite a daredevil this past few months, tried to test her analysis on him.

"You know, if you haven't showed up here, I would have applauded you for your strategy," Soyo said. "I would have actually believed it was a smart move from you –to allow all of our forces to gather in Edo and setting it on fire –making us rob an empty house. It was supposed to be cleaver, but no," Soyo chuckled.

Nobunobu face darkened as Soyo's brightened. "The fact that you have to resort to tricking me and holding me hostage means that you know you are not in a secure position. You're not 'trapping' our force in Edo. You're merely running away because you know your troop is nothing in comparison to our numbers," she deliberately paused to give an intentional dramatic effect. "Coward. As always."

Even when Nobunobu was never as physically powerful as talented, the man was still raised with enough training. It escaped Soyo's eyes when Nobunobu cut the distance between them and slapped her hard.

It stung, and Soyo felt the side of her face burned. She involuntarily yelped in surprise, and the feminine, weak squeak was more than enough to boost Nobunobu's ego again.

"Like brother, like sister," Nobonobu hissed, and smirked when he knew he had hit the most sensitive spot in Soyo's heart. "Pathetic, both of you are. Only resorting to petty words play when you know it's a doom for you two."

"You –"

"Edo Castle? So what if they take over it?" Nobunobu exclaimed. "The Emperor has chosen me as the Shogun and I am still the valid ruler of Edo. Places and castle like that are replaceable. I can build as many kingdoms as I want to –so long that I, Nobunobu Hitotsubashi, remains the Shogun, I can do anything I want."

Soyo chuckled darkly. "Well, aren't _you_ the naïve one? The Emperor will now see how useless you are, unable to defend even your most prized territory. Edo needs not a weak ruler like you."

"Naïve? Me? Someone who did not even realize her brother was dying in your arms does not have the right to say that."

It stung again. Worse than his slap. Because this word brought back rushes of memories Soyo did not want to remember, things she dreaded the most, days she wanted to wipe off the most.

"I heard your dear big brother died on your lap, Hime-sama?" Nobunobu spoke, the smirk returned. "How does it feel? To have one so close to you yet you will never be able to protect it?"

"Nobunobu," she growled. "You fucktard, you –"

"Language, Hime-sama," Nobunobu warned laughingly, mirth in his eyes. "And you know what? Like that time five years ago, this is how we're going to win ours again."

He continued. "We won not in war. We won in your so-called peace time. We win when you least expect it. Your brother had been too lax, had no presumption, thought he had all the allies he needed, but that was when he lost. We always win when your side _thinks_ you can win. And this is how it will happen again," Nobunobu said as he grabbed a fistful of Soyo's hair and forced her to look at him. "Hear me out, Hime-sama. Take _all_ castles you wish. Claim all territory you think you can grab. But at the end of the day, we will attack and reign when you least expect it. I don't care how many times we have to resort to this strategy. We will win. And you will help me with that," he warned triumphantly before he let go of his grip on her hair and threw her.

"Lock her up. Let her reflect on the lives that had died because of her and let that fact sinks into her so deeply."

* * *

Her nails dug her own palm. They did not tie her up, but they left her alone locked in the cell in the Hitotsubashi vessel. The solitude did exactly what Nobunobu wished her to do: she was agitated, she was worried, she was anxious, she knew things were not going as smooth as planned, and it was killing her.

So close. They were so close to victory. Heck, she trusted her friends back in Edo, and her faith in them nearly vividly described the scene for her: The Shinsengumi and the Joui Patriots most likely succeeded in putting down the fire that caused chaos in Edo; it was not even impossible that their side had successfully occupied Edo Castle. Probably they were feasting in their successful takeover.

And she would have cried in joy for them, had it not been for the realization that, despite whatever victory her friends had in the main land, the fact that she was captured might possibly turn the situation back to their disadvantage.

Soyo sincerely wished they would not care. She genuinely wished nobody would even realize that she had been captured by a fake Matsudaira and that she was within Nobunobu's clutch. Nobunobu could kill her, should have –if it was the price she had to pay for the victory, she would not have minded.

She wished she was dispensable, replaceable, someone that her friends would not care of.

But she knew them enough to know the bond they had. The lower-ranks soldiers probably wouldn't care as much for the safety of the puppet-princess –after all, with the acclaimed victory, the symbol was no longer useful. They could form a new government without her. Which was a good thing –because she did not want to hinder the pathway of the new Edo that her brother had been fighting for.

It would be a different story if her friends realized her disappearance though. Perhaps she was full of herself, but good-hearted people like her friends would not abandon her –and Nobunobu knew it, and this was how Nobunobu would cave his way to reclaim his throne.

And at the end of the day, she remained the weak link of the sturdy chain.

She was dragging her friends down.

Blood marred her palms. Soyo did not realize how hard she had been clenching her palms.

The lock to her cell was opened. For the first time in the course of two hours of being locked, Nobunobu invited himself into her cell again. He stood there on the doorway and looked down at her.

And Soyo hated how Nobunobu, despite everything, was actually good in reading what she had in her mind.

"I bet you wish for me to kill you now."

Soyo could act. She could act and beg for mercy –weakening herself so that Nobunobu would loosen his guard. She blamed her pride that of all times, she refused to do it that time.

"I won't kill you, Hime-sama," Nobunobu said as he approached the girl and knelt before her. "Not so long you can be of use to me."

"I hold a little value to you," she tried to assure him.

"Certainly," confirmed Nobunobu. "But you hold great value to your friends. And that's exactly why I won't kill you now," he said with a smile upon looking at Soyo's darkening gaze. "We'll reach the outer port soon. It's a territory fully owned and controlled by us. We will then announce that you have stupidly fallen into our trap. It would then be a good reminder to you how you are the one who drag your friends down."

"Nobunobu…" she growled.

He laughed. "Yes. That glare, Hime-sama. When your friends finally realize your disappearance, it would be too late. We've sailed long enough in the sea, and I doubt they'd be able to detect us. No ship fast enough can catch up with our –."

"Yeah, but _spaceship_ is no joke in terms of speed and detection, you know? Especially my Kaientai fleet, ahahahahhahaa!"

It was no joke worth laughing –not to Nobunobu, at least. He failed to realize the new presence behind him, and when he turned around, all he could see were the beaten pulp of his soldiers and a young man standing in the doorway.

Soyo saw that too. A dark, messy-haired man standing behind Nobunobu. He was scratching his head as his rather trademark laugh echoed in the cell; his eyes were hidden behind the sunglasses that he kept on wearing even indoor. There was also a ginger-haired woman beside him, who seemed to murmur a toneless insult to her supposed captain, as she single-handedly finished up Nobunobu's soldiers who tried to make another fight.

"Who are you?!" Nobunobu roared as he stood up. "How could you get in here and…" he paused when the recognition hit him. "W-wait, y-you're that idiot space merchant –"

"Ahahahhaaha, Shogun-sama, that's quite harsh and I'm hurt," Sakamoto Tatsuma exclaimed good naturedly.

"Nah, 'idiot space merchant' is not even an insult for you, Tatsuma. I actually agree with our _Shogun-sama_ this time, he's being too merciful," said another voice.

And Soyo recognized this voice.

Five years. It had been five years, but he sounded the same. Five years did not even seem like five years, and he remained as shabby as Kagura described, but it was him –the one who brought miracle, the man who was supposed to be dead, the man who stirred the revolution, the man who was her brother's dear pal…

"G-Gin-san?" Soyo stuttered.

"Yo, sadistic princess," Sakata Gintoki greeted as he was picking his nose. "Need a little help?"

* * *

 **To be Continued**

* * *

A/N: Another reminder that this fic was first written around 2 years ago, and I know that the fic could definitely not keep up with the current Gintama manga storyline. I know it's a fanfic by default, but… yeah, just want to remind you that because I have antagonized several characters who are not exactly antagonists in the current storyline.


	23. Voices

**A/N:** Just a little note that this time, it's a 2-chapter update. So, if you want to continue from where this fic last left you, go to the previous chapter (Chapter 22) or else you might spoil yourself in advance ^^.

* * *

 **What Pumps the Blood (Faster)**

 **Chapter 23 – Voices**

* * *

The fact that little had changed nearly made him forget that it had been five years since he last stepped foot here on earth, on Edo, on his homeland.

One would have thought Nobunobu was ancient history –a tyrant as corrupted as him should not have been able to keep up with the growing need of democracy and peoples cries. And it wasn't as if Gintoki did not believe in the friends he unintentionally left on earth: there was Zura and his good-luck idiocy, there was the mayonnaise-lover and the bunches of tax-robbers Shinsengumi, there were Kabuki-cho residents, there was the human-wearing glasses, there was the monstrous China girl –Gintoki took pride in each and every one of them, and he had believed they would do it –overthrow the government with a single bat of lashes.

But there they were –five years since he last saw earth, and Edo was still ruled by the good-for-nothing dictator.

"Bunches of idiots," he murmured under his breath as Mutsu stopped the vessel just right above the Hitotsubashi ship that had just massacred the entire three battleships of the opponent, of their side. "Really could do nothing without me, huh?" Gintoki bluntly said as he shrugged and picked his nose with the idlest gesture.

"Ahahahahaha, Gintoki, that's harsh," Sakamoto laughed beside him as he slung his arm over his friend's shoulders. It had been one year since he travelled the space together with Gintoki. Sakamoto had been trading in one of the seemingly unprofitable planet, when he found someone who resembled Gintoki, yet at the same time did not. Gintoki was always shabby, but the man he found lying half-dead on the street looked nothing like even the worst-day looking Gintoki: cheek sunken, eyes dead and foremost… not a single recollection of who he was and what he had been.

The moment Sakamoto had found Gintoki, the latter remembered not even his name.

It took a whole year for Sakamoto to treat him, to make him remember who he was. Of course, Sakamoto had all the intention to return even the tattered Gintoki to Edo immediately, but this and that (events that involved being sucked in the black hole, battles with aliens, and the like – _the galaxy_ was truly a dangerous place) made Sakamoto had to delay the plan.

Mutsu took some steps and stopped behind her captain. "Preparation is ready. We've fired four missiles into the Shogun's vessel and we have sent our first batch of forces down to the ship."

"Ahahaha, dependable as always, Mutsu! What can I do without you?" Sakamoto exclaimed proudly, but stopped his laughter at the awkward moment when Mutsu only gave him a disinterested look. Tearing his gaze off Mutsu, Sakamoto smiled and turned around to Gintoki –who was still looking on the view outside the Kaientai's spaceship down to the Hitotsubashi vessel. "It's time for your comeback, Gintoki."

The white-haired samurai said not a word at first and it was only when Sakamoto made a move to approach his friend that Gintoki reacted again.

Gintoki exhaled a sigh and proudly patted his shoulders. "What a mess. I knew it. They couldn't have done this without me. Ah, it's good to be needed."

Sakamoto laughed again and joined Gintoki in patting his shoulders.

"Ahahhahaha, if that's really the case, could you wipe the snots and tears off your face, Gintoki? Your regretful face is truly a sight I don't want to see." Hitting the jackpot, Sakamoto then only lightly punched Gintoki's fist that had been clenched so tightly ever since they entered earth's atmosphere. "And put that apologetic fist to protect what you want to protect the most now."

The story of Sakata Gintoki had all been those perceptions Kagura had implanted of him on her. He was this useless, stingy, shabby man who was really nearly good for nothing. Kagura did not tell her actual story of Gintoki –she complained on a lot of things about him: how he never paid her wages, how he tortured and enslaved Kagura (this part was certainly very much exaggerated, but Soyo was Team Kagura any day), how he was anything but a good role model to a civilized society.

But actions spoke more than words. Kagura did not need to compliment Gintoki in front of Soyo to make Soyo know how much Kagura looked up to and cared for Gintoki. A part of her had been jealous of the man who could spend all his time with Kagura all he wished, and she did intend on making him suffer when he visited her castle years prior. Had Soyo not been so grateful of what Gntoki did for Jiiya, she probably would have secretly tortured the silver-haired man more –hiding it behind pleasant and innocent, friendly façade.

If there was anyone, even more than her brother, that Soyo knew could have the ability to move people, it would have been one person and one person only. With his queer way and unpredictable nature, Gintoki stole the heart of many people. When he disappeared five years ago, he took more than he probably even thought: he took Kagura's smile, he took a part of the Shinsengumi and Joui Patriots' fighting spirit, he took mirth from Kabuki-cho, he took the confidence of believing what could happen.

Soyo was not a symbol, if anything, regardless of his commoner status, it was and would always be Gintoki who carried the role as a symbol of revolution better than anyone else.

"Now, now, Hime-sama, if you cry like that, it would make it seem as if I'm the bad guy," said the man as he scratched his head.

"Ahahhahaa, but aren't you the bad guy, Gintoki?" Tatsuma chipped in –to which he earned himself a kick on his butt.

Soyo did not even realize she was crying. She did not know why she cried. She was not attached to Gintoki, but at the same time, she realized what Sakata Gintoki's presence meant.

The light. The source of hope. The main gear that would mobilize people. Someone whose spirit, whose soul influenced people more than he probably ever thought of.

The only man who could stand against Nobunobu, and would inevitably win against him. Shinsengumi, the Joui Patriots and other would definitely be able to overthrow the corrupted Hitotsubashi government, but Sakata Gintoki would be the unifying factor –someone needed more than he ever gave himself a credit for.

Nobunobu finally was awakened from his momentary trance and he did what he was best at: shouting for protection. "Guards! Guards!"

"Goodness, so loud," muttered Gin in distaste as he picked his ears.

Nobunobu glared at him, before he turned around, locked gaze with Soyo.

They both knew what he was thinking.

Soyo immediately jumped from her seat and tried to escape Nobunobu before he could capture her and used her as a hostage again.

Nobunobu was fast, but Tatsuma's bullet was faster.

"Ahahhahaha, would shooting the Shogun get me into prison?" he muttered good-naturedly at the now bleeding wrist of the Shogun –who screamed just moments before he could snatch Soyo.

"You'd go to prison for polluting the world with your idiocy, Tatsuma," lazily commented Gin. "Let's tidy up quickly and bring the princess back before his reinforcement –"

Gintoki probably had the knack of predicting the future. Before he could finish his words, there was a loud explosion sound resonating outside the cell and there had to be one damaged side –whichever it was.

Mutsu steadied herself upon the impact and fixed the earphone she had. There was no change of expression when she delivered the news to her captain, "Our fleet has been shot down."

Sakamoto shrieked and hurried himself to look at the view outside the window of the cell. There, he could see his beloved big spaceship was being bombarded from unknown exact location coming from the nearby island. "My ship!" he howled.

Gintoki did not have sympathy to his friend. "About time that ancient ship is falling."

"How could you say that, Gintoki?!" Sakamoto wailed.

"Well, first thing first, get the princess out of here and let's escape and…huh?" he paused to look at the spot where Soyo had been seconds prior –it was vacant now.

* * *

Soyo clawed at Nobunobu's arm as the man carried her and used her to ease his way out of Kaientai's forces. "Get off my way!" he screamed.

Equally as frustrated, Soyo resorted to biting Nobunobu's arm. She really couldn't bring her friends down this way. Really couldn't, really shouldn't.

Nobunobu was just as persistent. He dashed up to the deck of the Hitotsubashi ship –the sunlight blinded their eyes, and on the deck, Soyo could see that fights already ensued between the Kaientai and the Hitotsubashi faction.

"Where's the rescue submarine?!" Nobunobu screamed to his troop –whose replies were late due to the resistance the Kaientai gave them. Not that Nobunobu cared of their well beings. He only shouted more. "Protect me! Don't let any of them get me!"

The man whom Soyo recognized as the one who disguised himself as Matsudaira jumped to Nobunobu's aid. He quickly grabbed Soyo off Nobunobu's grasp and, being freed from the obligation to carry her around, Nobunobu was able to focus more on escaping.

"The submarine this way, Shogun-sama," said his confidante as he led the way to the back of the ship where less fighting occurred.

The three of them (two of them, with Soyo in their hand) ran with all their might to escape the fighting. There were Kaientai forces ahead, and Nobunobu grunted as he pulled his gun and pressed it to Soyo's temple. "Make way! Or I'll kill your princess!"

Soyo gritted her teeth when she saw how the Kaientai obeyed to Nobunobu's command. She knew that if Nobunobu managed to get into the submarine and escaped the Kaientai and Gintoki's clutch to go to the island where he had built his reinforcement, it would no longer be a status quo. He would be able to devise plan to hamper her force's way of victory, and it would be futile.

She had to stop this.

Copying Kagura, Soyo screamed as she used all her might to knock her head to the chin of the man who was carrying her. Her head hurt a lot after the impact, but the jaw of the man must have received a similar impact, because he grunted and the grip around her loosened.

Using the nanosecond chance she managed to steal, Soyo hurriedly picked up the lower part of her kimono, and before the hand of Nobunobu could clutch her again, she made a dash for her life.

Her customary high sandals made it hard for her to run, not to mention her kimono was weighing her down. She did not have the time to discard her sandals, and Soyo used all her might to run on the deck. She could feel Nobunobu and his confidante were trailing achingly close to her, and this was not easy, not easy at all –and she knew this would end, because she could almost virtually feel the hand would grab her neck the second after and –

"My, my. A VIP brat like you already doesn't have a single guard?"

Soyo widened her eyes.

A shadow hovered over her and the presence that was as swift as the wind jumped above her and like that very day, effortlessly landed on the nameless confidante –who was rendered immediately lifeless as the weight that fell upon him crashed his skull and flesh.

Soyo turned around, and it all felt like a flashback: the ginger-haired man who came out of nowhere, jumping from an insanely high spaceship above them (which now bore the Shinsengumi insignia), killing the enemy with a single step; with purple umbrella opened in the bright day.

"K-Kamui," Soyo stuttered as the man jumped off again and stood in front of her.

"Isn't this quite nostalgic, Brat?" Kamui said with a bright smile that reached his eyes.

( _"Okay, cleanup's all done! Now we should be able to fight each other without worrying about anything! You should hurry up and take care of that thing!"_ )

Kamui turned around to see Soyo's face, which was all as pale as snow and as shaken as when he first laid her eyes on her five years ago. He had to smile at the irony, of how far they had gone after these five years, of everything which he would not have even thought would happen.

"Please don't make a face like that," Kamui recited with a grin. "This time, I'm your comrade."

The muscles of Soyo's face had no time to relax, because there was still Nobunobu –who had gone ballistic as his only escape route was cut off and angrily fired bullets to Soyo.

Even without looking, Kamui had no difficulty to deflect all the bullets with his umbrella.

"Y-you!" Nobunobu roared angrily as he tried to fire more bullets –but his gun already ran out of it.

Turning his face to Nobunobu again, Kamui smiled and greeted him. "Yup, me again!"

But despite the civility of his smile, there was no calmness in his mind. His blood rushed, his mind was not in its clearest state, his fists were yearning to crush some skulls. This bastard who tried to lay a hand on her deserved no mercy.

( _You have no right to lay a hand on what's mine_ )

"And I'm still one hell of a villain," Kamui promised as he fired one bullet from his umbrella directly to Nobunobu's heart.

* * *

It was an easy kill and easy kill should not have thrilled him, but to his mild confusion, it did.

Blood spluttered out of Nobunobu's chest; Kamui could imagine the process easily –his bullet must have pierced right through Nobunobu's ribcage: the heart was crushed, the aorta exploded, and it was an instant death –he regretted it. This man should have experienced a more painful one after all he had done, after he dared to steal what belonged to him.

Hmm, perhaps he should have butchered the tyrant more? The corpse of the Shogun probably would not be able to feel any pain he deserved, but perhaps, he could cause humiliation? Tear the skin off his face, beat his body so that he became so disfigured that nobody would recognize him? Burn him down? Perhaps he should –

"You're here," the soft voice resonated in his mind, clear as a chime; and her small hand held onto his eternally-bloody one. He turned around and saw her face and felt the loud, bloodlust voices in his head calmed down. It was crazy to think. Kamui knew that Soyo was not virtuous –far from being one. She was a woman who embraced her own evil self and was not supposed to be his voice of reasoning –but she did.

The weigh was pulled up, the noises stopped screaming in his head. A soft smile grazed his face as he turned around to take a better look at her; she was alive, she was breathing, she was safe –and he thought that perhaps, _perhaps,_ there was nothing else that he could ask for. His other hand was raised to cup her face and feel the warm skin on his palm. "Yeah…"

Perhaps, Kamui understood Housen better now."

" _A man drunk with sake is distinctive, but a man drunk on a woman is just unsightly."_

The hell, who cared if he was unsightly? He genuinely regretted over Housen now –the man yearned for something he couldn't have. Now Kamui yearned for something that he could have –beating with the pulse of life, radiating warmth that gently held his cold self. She was the sun he yearned, and he had it, and that was all that mattered now, and he could throw anything else aside and –

"Oi, Sadistic Princess, you're alright?" Gintoki yelled out as he paced to her direction with Sakamoto not far behind him.

Kamui ears perked at _that_ sound, at _that_ presence, at _that_ feel.

(" _You and I are walking down the same path. Kamui, I see myself in you. Knowing nothing other than battle._ ")

Gintoki stopped dead on his track as he took note on the body that was laying dead in front of his feet. "W-whoa. T-this is…T-the Shogun?!" he exclaimed as he knelt down and gazed at the body that no longer hosted a soul. "H-he died?"

Strong. He was strong. Kamui could feel it. Five years morphed him into a more interesting object. The fire on his eyes remained, the strong-soul Samurai…

(" _You don't really care about the Shogun's head, right? You just wanted to come here because you got a whiff of the smell of blood._ ")

Goodness, he could not describe it. This thrill –how foreign, yet familiar. His nature. His nature was calling. The blood that ran throughout his entire body was screaming in ecstasy. Five years… five goddamn years he had been searching for this thrill…. A strong opponent. His. The voices in his mind were exhilarated, they were telling him to –

"Kamui?"

Soyo's voice resonated within the hurricane inside his mind. He blinked and stared at her again. Now. She looked quite funny –like there was doubt on her eyes, and slight fear that he recalled seeing from her in their first few encounters. His clear blue eyes stared deep onto her hazel ones, and he could see how he was reflected on Soyo's eyes.

He was grinning ( _Goddamn it, he couldn't control it. His fingers twitched. His blood rushed. His heart beat fast. He could barely contain his excitement_ ). He must have looked maniacal to her now, because the frown on Soyo's face deepened, and the fear on her face became more visible. Ah, the pretty thing that he was getting addicted to, he would do anything to have her, but…

(" _Love? Where did you learn a word like that, Kamui? I know that you, more than anyone, has no idea what that word means."_ )

… but there was his _other_ addiction. And it screamed louder in his ears, and her voice soon became whispers.

And Kamui was young, and his blood was equally as young. He tried to stop himself from grinning, but he couldn't. Perhaps just a little? Just…a little. A minute. A second. He just needed to feel that exhilaration, just _once_. He would stop after this for her, but before he stopped, just _once_ , he needed to –

Her hand over his clenched tighter. It was accepting, it was forgiving, it was warm and everything that he had never felt in his entire life, but –

His Yato blood rushed faster.

The chain snapped ( _Even you could not hold me down, my dear_ ) and the monster returned.

Kamui let go of that warmth of the hand and succumbed to the darkness that never left him.

* * *

Soyo saw it.

The grin, the madness, the night rabbit that always yearned for something that her modest, weak self could never give him.

"Kamui, no!" Soyo screamed when he shrugged her hand off, turned around and dashed towards Sakata Gintoki.

* * *

Kamui jumped and swung his umbrella down to crush the skull. Gintoki's alarm was awakened and few inches before the heavy umbrella smashed his head, the silver-haired samurai raised his own wooden sword to deflect the attack.

The force was enough to send Kamui flying some meters backward, but he did not mind. This was good, this was _great_. The white-haired samurai's strength had far developed ever since that first night Kamui saw him fighting Housen. Gintoki shouted some profanities when he felt his shoulder bore the pressure of the full-force swing Kamui's umbrella gave him, and it gave Kamui an opening, and before Gintoki could ready himself, Kamui lunged forward again.

"We finally meet again, Samurai-san!" Kamui cheerfully greeted him as he flew his uppercut jab from below, punching Gintoki's jaw until the latter was now the one being thrown a good distance away.

"Gintoki!" Sakamoto screamed and tried to help. Kamui felt the presence of this sunglasses-wearing guy. This one was strong too, but nothing in comparison to the white-haired samurai. Well, if Kamui was in the mood, he could have him for desert.

But right now, he was more interested in the main course.

Shoving Sakamoto aside with one effortless yet powerful push, Kamui dashed towards Gintoki again. It appeared that he would have an easy win, but Gintoki was prepared even when he did not look like it. Again, the dead-eyed samurai was able to defend himself from his attacks.

"What the hell?!" Gintoki shouted as Kamui laid dozens of punches to his face.

"Good, you're getting better, Samurai-san!" Kamui saluted when Gintoki was able to dodge each and every of his lighting-speed punches.

Ah. Perhaps Kamui should get more serious now.

His Yato blood screamed in thrill. So long…it had been so long since he felt this good, this _empowered._ When was the last time he met such a strong opponent? That policeman had certainly been one, but he did not have the chance to truly test his limit. But there was no boundary now. The war was finished. His sister's long-sworn enemies and the corrupted government had fallen, there was no chains on him now. He could do all he wanted.

 _Spotted,_ Kamui thought as he saw the opening, and swung his leg to the side of Gintoki's stomach. The samurai spluttered some blood, but not that Kamui could see much, because the older man's body was already thrown away to the other direction again.

"Please fight me back, Samurai-san. It won't be fun if you don't," requested Kamui earnestly.

Gintoki spat some blood off his mouth –a molar came out in the process. He scoffed and muttered under his breath, "Heh, don't hurt my feeling. It's not as if I wasn't trying to."

"Kamui, stop this, please!" Soyo screamed as she ran with all her might to close the gap between her and Kamui ( _but never was the gap between her and his true calling_ ).

Ah. That voice. The voice that he vowed he would love to hear any other day, any other second of his life.

 _But not this time_ , reminded the monster that echoed louder in his ears.

"Kamui, don't –urgh!" Soyo's speech was interrupted when she felt the hand around her neck. The hand was familiar and she knew it, yet at the same time, she did not.

It did not choke her, but she knew it very much could. It was cold, it was merciless. It was the same hand that tried to kill her months prior.

"Please don't interrupt me when I'm having my fun, Brat," Kamui told her with a smile, with a grin that she hated to see on his face. "Or I'll –"

"Or you'll what?!" Soyo challenged him; both her hands were gripping on his arm. "Or, you'll what, Kamui?! Kill me?!" she screamed back.

He smiled and for a moment, she knew the answer.

But Kamui had no time for her. Easily, effortlessly, he threw her to the air. It was not one that would enough to kill her, but it would have hurt her pretty badly –had it not been for someone standing behind her and preventing her body from receiving the full impact of colliding with the hard floor of the deck.

"It's better for you to stand back, little princess," Abuto exclaimed as he steadied the petite body back on the ship's deck. "Trust me. _Nobody_ wants to interrupt the captain's fight."

"Abuto!" Soyo shrieked. "Stop him, please!"

"I can't. Nobody can at this point."

"He's going to kill Gin-san!" Soyo yelled. "We can't let Kamui do things that he will regret –"

Abuto pressed his palms on Soyo's shoulders harder –trying to hold her down. "If you stop him now, it would be things he would regret. He's waited and restrained himself too long for this. I'm sorry, princess. But that's what the Yato blood tells us to do."

"But Kagura-chan –" her speech was interrupted when there was an even loud ruckus from the battle field. Kamui threw Gintoki's body in full swing hard –so hard that the latter hit the pillar of the vessel, and the force was powerful enough that the pillar cracked, and it fell to the deck. It tore a good portion of the vessel; ripping the body and the vessel shook.

"At this rate the ship may sink," noted Abuto as he steadied himself from the swaying vessel and started to devise an escape plan. "Captain always knows how to dramatize his fight," he sighed involuntarily.

* * *

The sound of the breaking vessel was loud –but even that was not as loud as the cheering voice inside Kamui's mind.

Kamui cracked and fixed his slightly dislocated jaw back to its original position. During the span of fifteen minutes, the white-haired samurai had managed to stab his thigh, dislocate his jaw, punch his left eye, and probably, caused internal bleeding somewhere in Kamui's left abdomen. The blood that trailed from his temple and covered his eyes indicated that Gintoki might also have succeeded in injuring the crown of his head.

But despite the injuries, Kamui felt like he wanted to clap.

Strong. He knew strong people when he met one, and Kamui knew Gintoki was strong. For an earthling to be able to keep up fighting with him like this, he was strong –and Kamui thanked him for that.

Even when Gintoki was now no more than a ruin of flesh lying half-dead in the ruins.

A quick scan to his target told Kamui all the information he needed: Gintoki suffered at least four internal bleedings on his head, chest and shoulders. His left leg was probably unable to carry the weigh of his body any longer, and he would have to depend on his right one. His right chest had also received a fatal stab of his umbrella and from the amount of blood he lost and would probably lose, Kamui knew that without treatment, this man would die in less than an hour.

 _But it will end faster than that._

"I really genuinely thank you, Samurai-san," Kamui earnestly said to the man who could probably barely stand up. "It really has been quite a while since I had such an enjoyable fight. This is an honor to me, and I want you to know how much I respect you."

"…"

Gintoki must have said something, but his injured neck (Kamui managed to pierce his index finger to his throat –probably Gintoki had a problem breathing now. It was commendable that he was even trying to speak.

"Hmm?" Kamui said as he took steps closer, trying to hear his last words in earth.

"…I-I said t-too soon. A-a b-brat like you h-has no r-right to s-steal my s-showtime. Y-ya think it's over now?"

Kamui smiled again.

"…I really admire you, Samurai-san. Ever since that night you fought Housen. Nobody would have thought you could win, but you did. It's your spirit, your soul that I'm envious of the most," complimented Kamui as he stopped himself in front of the beaten Gintoki. "You, samurais, can really do anything with it. It's commendable. If I am not born a Yato, I'd love to be born as a samurai in my next life." He paused to smile –a genuine smile that he would always save to pay his respect to those deserving his respect. "Thank you for the fight, Samurai-san. I really enjoy it," he muttered as he swung his last punch down.

Samurai was headstrong –that was a lesson Kamui had learned and would learn again that day.

With the hand that could still move, Gintoki, from his virtually impossible lying position, swung his wooden sword to tackle Kamui's feet, and just in the nanosecond when the younger boy lost balance, Gintoki raised his body up and butted his head onto Kamui's temple –and the braided-haired guy was thrown away in a good ten-meter distance.

Gintoki was successful of evading the clutch of his death, but not without sacrifice. He screamed just when his muscles rebelled. He had pushed forward through the impossible –his body really couldn't bear it any longer, and that was the last thing he was able to do to Kamui.

The attack, such attack would not kill a monster like him, Gintoki sadly knew this.

It took quite a while, but then coming out of the puff of smokes, Kamui slowly walked limply towards Gintoki again –his hands were clapping.

"Very, very good, Samurai-san," he complimented. "See, I know this spirit of yours will not die down."

Gintoki chuckled. "H-how d-do we kill monsters like y-you, r-really?" he muttered. Gintoki barely could see Kamui's figure any longer. All he had to depend on was his hearing and sense of instinct –and he was not sure how long these two senses would help him win this battle.

"Easy answer," Kamui remarked. "You just can't."

Not as long as he had this monster in him, this Yato blood that was more of a blessing than a curse, this hard-trained muscles, this thousands-battles-honed instinct, this lust of blood, this desire to annihilate, his _existence._

The monster cheered.

 _Thank you._

His grin spread wide and he accelerated his speed as he jumped, pressed his fingers together so that it could pierce in one single blow and –

–he tore it.

It was warm, the flesh was still alive a second earlier (no longer), the blood still rushed (and now it burst to his face), the sensation thrilled him, the satisfaction energized him, his soul cried in joy, his grin widened even more, his yearning was answered, his lust was satiated, his eyes glinted in victory; the victory that he deserved –

–just as much as the horror he deserved.

"H-Hime-sama?" Gintoki whispered dreadfully at the figure that stood in front of him –or the splatter of blood that remained of her.

Kamui widened his eyes at the sight that laid unfolded in his eyes –but was always seconds later, always too late: Soyo sneaked herself between him and Gin, took the piercing herself and allowed his finger to rip her body instead.

And in that moment, all the voices disappeared.

The monster in him was a coward, and once they got what they wanted, they stopped cheering. One who was lost to his cursed blood would be the last to cry –now that the monster had successfully brought him down, they abandoned him.

So it was silent.

And in the muteness of everything, he yearned to hear a voice –a voice he abandoned.

Soyo's voice.

But Kamui heard nothing. Not his own scream, not Abuto's yelling, not Gintoki's howl, nothing. He thought he called out to her, but he couldn't hear anything. The body fell on his arm, still warm ( _but he knew it soon would mean nothing, and the warmth would abandon her body soon_ ). Her hazel eyes locked sight at him for the barest second.

And Kamui knew now why he felt the monster was in her.

Because Tokugawa Soyo would be the only existence that could haunt him. The only existence who could destroy him. Those eyes…those _disappointed_ eyes –they would not let him go, they would chase over him, forever and –

He would not mind her chasing over him, he swore. If it was her, he gave her the permission to haunt him, to not let go of him, just –

 _Don't disappear…don't leave me…_

But now the eyes were fluttered close and he screamed again.

It was silent still.

Kamui fell to his knees, Soyo (whose stomach was ripped by his very hand) lied unmoving on his embrace, and he felt cold, shivering cold.

And in the midst of silence, old man Housen's words echoed in him, slapped him to the reality he only came to understand now.

(" _You will, with your own two hands, destroy everything that it is you desire._ ")

* * *

 **To be Continued**


	24. And Everything That You Can't Have

**A/N:** I have no excuse for my long hiatus. I actually did intend to leave this story, but some people have just been so nice to me, and I think I just owe a closure for this story. So, my apology for those who are still waiting for this story and thank you for the support, review, comments, critics and others.

* * *

 **What Pumps the Blood (Faster)**

 **Chapter 24: And Everything that You Can't Have**

* * *

The moment Abuto decided on his way of life (which was what? Fifteen years ago when he first decided to join the Harusame?), never did he think that he would actually end up helping the Earthlings set up a new government.

With the death of Nobunobu Hitotsubashi and the total occupation of the Edo Castle, the years-long war fought by the bunches of Earthlings he sided with was settled. Someone told him that war did not stop at victory, and he had to agree with that. The quest to build a nation truly was a war in its own.

The fire the Hitotsubashi had cast on their last day of reign left rooms for things to rebuild. But infrastructure construction aside, it was the quest to determine the new ruler which was the most troublesome one.

Abuto sighed for at least the seventh time during the meeting that had taken place for the last four hours. He had thought that with the joint victory among the anti-Hitotsubashi forces, the forces would be broken, and he was right about it –only not in the way he thought it would be. Abuto thought that now with the vacant position of the Shogunate, the remaining forces would have their own inner battle to determine the new ruler –each side would want to hold the highest governing power of the country.

It surprised him that neither side actually wanted it.

"Shinsengumi is Edo's guardian. If we were to lead the country, who will do the patrolling job?" Hijikata stated in the meeting.

"The same thing goes to the shinobis. For hundred years, we have served the Shogunate, and who will serve who if we become the ruler?" Zenzou argued. "Besides, I'd rather read Jump than paper works, really."

"Zura, you've wanted to overthrow the bakufu for years, haven't you?" Hijikata directed the argument to Katsura. "Now take responsibility. Go take control over the government."

"My name is not Zura, it's Katsura. And no, Joui never believes in the Shogunate system. We come to demolish it, why would we assume the role of something we want to demolish?"

"Look, Edo needs a ruler and –"

"That doesn't mean _we_ have to bear the role."

"Then who will?!" snapped Hijikata. "The Emperor still hasn't made a decision, and we need at least an interim government!"

"You do it, Mayo guy," Zenzou insisted. "Can I leave now? Jump's special edition merchandise is on sale now, I have to go –"

"You're not leaving until we reach a conclusion!"

"What about a public election?"

"On a long run, of course. But we haven't established any system, and Edo needs someone to take control of things in the mean time."

"Can't we just speak to the Emperor now?"

"Emperor does not meet just anyone. It's always the Shogunate who has the direct contact. Hime-sama always liaises us with the Emperor, but now…" Hijikata sighed, and did not continue the statement.

Abuto yawned –and all eyes were directed to him. At the questioning gaze, he scratched his head and defended himself, "It's not as if I want to be in this meeting, you know."

Abuto half-hoped that this would mean these men would understand that his presence in the meeting was unnecessary, but none of the men made an acknowledgement for him to leave the room. Well, he could do what he wanted of course –he owed none of them a duty to stay in the conversation.

But if he walked out of the room, he would have no excuse if he were to run into a certain captain that he did not want to meet at the moment. And so, for the time being, being involved in the boring discussion was a much better option.

* * *

"Ohoho, so hideous, maso-girl."

Sarutobi took her eyes off the SM magazine Zenzou brought (under pressure) for her and cast her sights to the doorway –where she saw a girl her age was standing in the doorway.

"You're talking about yourself, female gorilla?" Sarutobi snapped back when Otae Shimura walked further into the room, dragging her IV stand along. Sarutobi's words were equally as harsh, but that could not hide the smile that slowly crept to her face. When was the last time she saw Otae Shimura walking on her feet again?

"So gloom," Otae commented at the private hospital room Sarutobi was hospitalized in (where, despite the broad daylight out there, she had drawn the curtains close and, in conflict to the hospital's policy, only allow a single candle to light up the room. Otae suspected that this had something to do with her weird fetish again, because she could already see the wooden horse hidden behind one of the rack). Otae slowly walked and slowly pushed her IV stand pass Sarutobi's bed and went to the window. She opened the curtains and lights entered the room.

"Too bright."

"Very bright indeed," Otae fondly noted. "The sun has shined in Edo again."

Sarutobi slowly cast a gaze out of the window. Edo still remained the same. No matter on whose hand the government was now, a nation was, at the end of the day, the manifestation of the people. Sometimes, when she thought about it, she wondered whether the war was worth it.

But then she remembered a certain dear friend of her who died in the name of his beloved, ideal nation, and Sarutobi realized it worth every single thing of it.

Even the sacrifice that had to come with it.

"…Have you heard about Hime-sama?"

Even the optimistic smile on Otae's face faltered a bit.

* * *

Two weeks had passed since the death of Nobunobu and the resurrection of the new government in Edo. It had not been a while, but Kagura decided that she had to move on, that new life was to unfold for her. A part of her still refused to walk, to move on, but she knew the fight for earth had not ended.

Kagura woke up rather early that day. Today was the day Gin-chan would be discharged from the hospital. She had thousands of questions to ask him. Gintoki had successfully evaded each and every one of them during the last two weeks (either because he was lying half-dead, or because he feigned sleep when she came to visit. Gintoki could be a coward at times). So today, she was having none of his crap.

Kagura stared at her reflection on the mirror. Her eyes were still puffy from all the tears she had shed these past two weeks, but she knew she could not stay still like this.

And for the first time in five, nearly six years, Kagura tied her long hair back into two buns that were her trademark hairstyle in the past.

It felt weird seeing her reflection this way again, and she wondered whether at 19 going on 20 she should have adorned a more mature look like what she had for the past few years.

But the future was still a long way to go. She could worry about hairstyle later. All she had to do now was to practice her trademark wide grin again.

It felt weird, it looked foreign. She even had to use both her index fingers to spread the smile more.

"If it still hurts to smile, you don't have to force it."

She turned around and saw that, apparently she was not the only one thinking of a makeover. Standing on the doorway to Yorozuya living room, was Shimura Shinpachi –now back to his much shorter hairstyle and his ages-old white and blue hakama. Kagura glared at him and pointed out, "Copycat."

"I've had this style longer than you have yours," Shinpachi reminded their two-years difference. "But anyway," he shrugged and exhaled a soft sigh. "It's time we end our rivalry for Yorozuya leader seat. Our real boss is returning today."

The smile on her face was small, bare, but it came from her heart, nonetheless.

"Don't worry," Shinpachi muttered as she rubbed Kagura's head –messing the two buns that she had just put up with efforts. "Gin-chan is here with us now. Things will be alright."

* * *

Abuto did not know how much longer this would go on. Sure, working his ass off as Harusame granted him plenty of money to afford him a comfortable life. But having a captain with an elephant-like appetite to take care of would surely make him run out off money sooner or later.

"Why only three boxes?" Kamui wailed when Abuto dropped his share of lunch that day.

"We're on tight budget this month," the older man replied.

"You're the new government advisor, aren't you?" expressed Kamui with a pout. "They pay you a lot, don't they?"

"That's state money, and should be used for the benefits of the people," Abuto responded. He earned himself a whistle from Kamui and a sing-song nonchalant saying of how 'Abuto now has changed'. Massaging his temple, Abuto told him the next news, "And you'll probably have to find a new place to stay after this, Captain. Now that the Shinsengumi gains its official status back, they're going to have to use this premise again."

"Can't I and them just co-exist?" Kamui muttered –on his second lunch box already. Sure, he knew he had been freeloading in the Shinsengumi previously-abandoned premise, but it was not like he had much choice. "I did help them eradicate the old government."

"Well, regardless of any of your help and even if you're not an ex Harusame, the crime you did is worth a decapitation from the current government," Abuto stated intentionally –intending to get the reaction he wanted to see from Kamui.

Seeing the lack of it and the ever-smiling face (which Kamui had maintained for the last two weeks effortlessly), Abuto wanted to give up. But he still owed Kamui one last warning, "Just because the new government is busy setting up a new order, that doesn't mean they will not carry out the punishment for what you did, Captain."

Shoving the empty third box of bento (and his stomach still growled), Kamui casually shrugged. "Then, it's time to hop off to another planet, isn't it?"

Abuto carefully gazed at his captain, at the smile that he wore more and more often since that day.

"…Stop this, Captain."

"Stop what, Abuto?"

"Pretending," Abuto said with a shrug. "Don't you want to know what happened?"

Abuto played with words and hints –never getting cross with the actual point. To say the least, Abuto did the equal pretending these past two weeks as well. Kamui had intended to play it that way, and continue to do so. But after a while, Abuto's silent hints got to be rather irritating. Still, Kamui maintained the smile and challenged Abuto frontal this time.

"About what? About that girl whose _life_ I just took?"

Just when Kamui brought the issue to the table directly, it was Abuto's turn to be taken off guard. Neither of them had talked openly about Tokugawa Soyo after that. Abuto secretly wished that it would be his captain to bring the issue first, but now that he finally said it, Abuto did not really know what to say. If there was anything left to say, that was.

When he was presented with Abuto's silence, Kamui opened a new topic instead. "There's a spaceship leaving to Kuro planet in three days. I'm hopping on that ship. Well," he shrugged. "I know that you'd be staying here in earth to help these guys recover the nation, so I don't expect you to join. But at least, I'd ask you to make sure no hassle come to my departure and –"

"I'm coming with you."

Kamui turned his head to Abuto and tilted it questioningly. "Don't they need you here?"

"Don't you need me more?"

A small smile crept to Kamui's face –the first genuine one he allowed to show on his face in the past two weeks. "I will always manage to survive alone, but… thanks, Abuto."

* * *

"So, that's that."

Kagura raised an eyebrow to Abuto –who had just reported to her the whole story about her brother and their plans to flee in two days. Few about Kamui interested her lately. Kagura thought that being indifferent towards Kamui was actually the nicestthing she could do. "So?"

Abuto shrugged. "There's a good chance we'll never come back to this planet again. I don't think Captain… I don't think Captain will ever want to set foot here again."

"Good news, then," Kagura tonelessly said.

"You probably won't see your brother ever again."

"That murderer is not my brother."

Silence.

"Well," Abuto said as he stood up. "I'm just saying this because I want to bid my farewell to you, little miss. We're leaving tomorrow night."

Kagura said not a word as Abuto stand from the seat in Yorozuya's living room. She managed to maintain her persistent silence only until the moment Abuto held the door's handle.

"Why?"

Abuto halted his steps and looked back. "Why what?"

"…Why would you be so loyal to someone… undeserving like him?"

Kagura did not seem to actually seek for an answer –any answer to that question would be rather vain, baseless and illogical at best. And Abuto knew that the little miss did not expect any answer anymore, because one had grown tired, and one had simply lost all trust and –

"I believed people can change," Kagura started slowly. "And I believed him, but…" she gritted her teeth and clenched her clothes hard. "Soyo-chan…"

Abuto stayed still; Kagura sat still. Neither said a word and the room was filled only with her sobs. Abuto chose to stay longer, but said not a word. It was not until Kagura herself decided that she really couldn't handle this any longer that she returned back to her room. That was Abuto's cue. Having no reason or justification left, Abuto took his leave from Yorozuya.

* * *

It was awfully silent.

Kamui had always lived with voices in his head. Most of them were battle-lust monsters that always impatiently screamed for him to get into action. Those were the voices he succumbed himself to the most, no. Even without those voices, he knew someone like him was born to listen to his monstrous instinct. These drumming songs echoed the loudest when his fist collided with something, ripped something. The voices made his crazy self even more insane, but they were the ones who kept him existed.

They were not always the morally-just voices –the polar opposites of justice – but those voices were always with him.

But even they left him now.

Now that his monstrous voices had left, if this was a peace of mind, Kamui thought that it felt weird, it felt foreign. Not that he particularly missed them, but at this point, he just needed to hear something.

Because now that the voice he wanted to hear the most was gone, he thought even hearing a devil's scream would do.

But even the devil abandoned him.

He was laying on the tatami floor of the Shinsengumi premise. This was his last night on earth. His eyes were closed as his mind and soul tried to search for something.

Nothingness.

He was reminded again that silence could be deafening.

Perhaps it was because he had been a figuratively deaf man for the last two weeks. Or perhaps because _this other man_ was just simply perfect in stealth. For whatever reason, Kamui genuinely did not detect his presence until he stood right beside him and extended his sword to his throat.

A soft smile spread onto Kamui's face, but he maintained his eyes closed.

"I thought my rent is still valid until 12 am this night?"

Okita Sougo did not shift his sword from his throat and only monotonously replied, "Well, you haven't paid your rent for the last six months or so. Shinsengumi has measures for freeloaders, you know?"

"Stingy. This place was built from Edo people's taxes as well, wasn't it? My sister was right about you guys being tax-robbers," Kamui lightly said as he opened his eyes and stared at the eyes that were looking down at him. Funny. Kamui thought he would give his world to have this earth policeman pointing a sword to him again, but Kamui no longer felt that lust of fighting Okita Sougo.

Kamui got up from his laying position. Okita drew his sword and sheathed it back. The sandy-haired man took several steps backward, before he settled himself at one of the nearby corner and sat there.

"So, when is your spaceship flight?" Okita asked as he rested his sword on his side.

Kamui took notice of the gesture but made no action of questioning it. "I don't know. Abuto arranges everything, but in two or three hours I suppose?"

"Two, three hours," Okita mused. "Enough time for our fight, then?"

Kamui laughed at the comment and the contradiction that Okita showed. "You no longer have any intention to fight me, Policeman-san."

"Oh, right, no intention to fight you," Okita confirmed, and even anger could not be properly hidden from his tone. His next line was spoken in so much iciness. "But the urge to annihilate you is a different case."

Kamui smiled and turned his body so that he could face Okita –who could actually have been his best friend, given a different situation. Smiling, Kamui then raised his chin slightly up –exposing his neck and throat more to the Shinsengumi First Captain. "Then do it," Kamui noted as he made a motion to cross his finger in front of his neck. "Aim your sword _reaaall_ good and behead me this time."

Okita stared at Kamui without a trace of expression. "I don't make my enemy's death quick and painless."

"Well, if you want to butcher me to pieces, that's fine as well," Kamui noted with a shrug. "Just tell Abuto that I still owe four restaurants my bills, and he needs to take care of them. Oh, and my sister. You should take care of that crybaby."

Okita chuckled. "What is this? You're offering your neck to me without resistance? That's unlike you, space villain. I'm disappointed."

And before Kamui could blink, Okita grabbed his sword again, unsheathed it and swung it at full force to Kamui's neck. It all happened in less than a second.

A fine trail of blood seeped out of Kamui's neck.

Okita darkly chuckled. "You really did not dodge it, huh?"

Kamui wiped the trail of blood from his neck –which was controlled so carefully so that it would purposely only slay the thinnest layer of his skin. Kamui envied Okita's skill. Only one powerful enough had the ability to control his strength that way. Smiling at the policeman, the pirate only shrugged. "You were so fast. I couldn't have dodged it."

But Okita knew better. Kamui _could_ easily dodge that attack, if he wanted to. The fact that the orange-haired man seriously did not put up any fight, nor resistance, showed him enough how serious Kamui had been when he told him to take off his life.

This man no longer had any intention to live.

Sighing, Okita stood up and stared down at the villain again. "You have three hours to pack up your things and leave. Shinsengumi will retake possession of this place at 12 am sharp."

"Three hours," Kamui mused. "I don't have much things to pack anyway. I can be off in sec –"

"Or," Okita interrupted. "You could use your last time on earth to visit her in the hospital."

The perfect smile on Kamui's face cracked.

The word that was stuck on Kamui's throat had nothing to do with the wound Okita just cast on his neck. Dropping his smile, dropping his mask, Kamui looked back up to Okita.

"…S-she's…still alive?"

Okita shrugged and walked out of the door. "I choose my retainer carefully. My retainer does not die that easily. And don't think this is my idea. China was just in her merciful mood."

* * *

Soyo stared at the ceiling of the hospital room pensively. It was so quiet after Sarutobi and Otae (who were now her constant hospital buddies) left her room, reasoning that the princess needed to rest to recover fully.

But Soyo never rested. In the silence and vacancy of room, her mind was restless.

Had her body allowed her, she would have sneaked out of the room and slept at either Sarutobi's or Otae's room. Last time she tried that three days ago after she gained her consciousness (after more than a week comatose), she stumbled down on her first step –panicking the entire hospital and rendering all the hospital's staffs ready for suicide. She had told them repeatedly that she was no longer a princess and that all these treatments and respects were unnecessary. But the staffs did not hear her out. Only after Kyuubei and Tsukuyo stepped in to settle the chaos that the hospital staffs could calm down.

She inhaled a deep breath and her body automatically prevented her from doing it. Her upper abdomen had taken the most damages –and it had been really miraculous that she was alive, much less to be able to breathe and talk. Well, it came with effort, but she supposed it was time that she actually understood the effort of thriving for life.

Still, at nights where her mind still refused to rest, it got rather boring.

She developed a new game usually, in which she called for names –most that would not be able to answer. The first she called out was her brother. Then, Kagura. Sometimes, Okita. Often times, Sarutobi or Otae. She called names, but was unable to speak the name that she wanted to call out the most.

That night must have been different. Perhaps because there was just a slight noise in the usually silent-still hospital room. Or the silhouette forming behind the curtain of her hospital room. That night, she tried to brace herself and called out for the one name she wanted to reach out the most.

"…Kamui?"

There was silence, and Soyo reminded herself that her voice would never be able to reach him. The literal pain on her abdomen was the living proof of it.

Yet her heart called out more.

"Kamui?" she tried again.

Silence.

There was pain in her chest that had nothing to do with the physical wound she had. She exhaled a deep breath and it ached her.

"Can you hear my voice, Kamui?"

There was shifting behind the curtain; a hesitant step. It surprised her (yet at the same time, it did not) when there was rustling sound coming from the window. Someone was opening the window from the outside balcony. Soyo did not need to know how he did it, because he was a notorious space pirate and he always had his way. The curtain was sided apart, and a figure jumped into her room from the outside window.

He left the window open. The calm night breeze brought a new air into the room along with the moon ray that passed through.

But it was the man who now stood in her room that stole her entire attention.

The hesitation lingered, and for a second, the face did not know what expression to make. But he knew he was no novice in putting up smile. So he just raised his hand cheerfully and greeted her, "Yo, bratty princess!"

Her eyes widened at the sight, before they calmed down and a soft smile grazed her face. "Hello, space pirate-san."

No one said a word after that, despite the casual greeting. She did not know how long it remained that way, but then the night breeze made her sneeze, and he blinked.

"Ah, sorry. It's cold, eh?" Kamui asked as he turned around and closed the windows behind him. He let the curtain open, and the shadows cast by the moon made him look like a ghostly appearance. Maybe she was imagining things. Maybe she was dreaming. Maybe Kamui was not really there.

"Is that really you?" she found herself asking. "Come closer. I can't see you clearly and –"

"Here's fine," Kamui said as he stood rooted on his spot. "Well, actually my presence here is not fine at all, but…" he sighed. "I mean –"

It was so brittle. It was almost like a dream. And Soyo did not want this to be a dream. So she called out again.

"Would you come closer?" she asked again. "Please?"

His breath hitched and Kamui just realized that this girl was the only one who could say the word to him, and he would not hesitate to throw away the world and follow her.

Well, he broke that promise once –fatally. Maybe he could just maintain his position. There was no use following a brat's request after all. Smiling, Kamui shook his head. "Here's fine."

There was finality on his tone. Even if Soyo begged, she knew that Kamui would not obey it.

"…Does it still hurt?" he asked again after a few seconds of silence trickled by.

Soyo stared at the man for a while. Rolling her eyes, she tried to dramatize the situation. "Ouch, ouch. It hurts so much, you want me to say that?" Soyo muttered with a smile. "I'm fine, as you can see. You probably need to practice your skill more. I thought you were infamous of killing people instantly. Seems like you have lost your touch."

She was trying to get the guilt off him. Kamui actually laughed at that. It was a hollow one, and her joke was not funny, but he still laughed nonetheless.

Soyo smiled, because even when his laughter was not a real one, it did not matter. He was here, and she could hear his voice. And for now, it was all that mattered.

"Well," Kamui started again as he scratched his head –not knowing what was there to say.

Or whether he actually had the right to speak to her at all.

The realization struck him: of how unworthy of him to come here, of how he was the last person she should see. He mentally cursed himself to be momentarily carried away by the urge to see her, because he knew he should have not, and he did not want to make any more mistake. Gritting his teeth, he decided. He had to mend his ways. "I-I'll get going then. Little girl needs good night sleep and –"

"Stay," Soyo whispered. "Please. Stay. I'm alright, you see? I feel no pain and it's perfectly fine for you to stay here," she insisted, and wished that the physical pain she actually felt whenever she spoke would not be translated to her face. Kamui needed to be assured. "So, Kamui, please –"

"Just go back to sleep."

She sighed. "Only if you promise you won't disappear when I open my eyes."

He smiled to himself. "… I don't want to make promises I will eventually break anyway. Not again."

Soyo understood consequences and implications. This one was pretty blatant and while it was easy to understand what he meant, she did not want to understand it.

"Take responsibility then," she said with a deeper voice. "You were the one who caused this to me. Stay and take responsibility of that."

"You're always good in manipulating people, don't you, brat?" he noted rather fondly. The mischievous little princess, ah, all the things he would offer to both God and Devil to have her. Kamui did not deserve to have his request granted. He might have wanted to have things his way, but even he knew his limit. Shrugging, he pushed back whatever prayer he had. "Sadly, as you see, I am a free man and I don't take responsibility," he smiled bitterly. "I'd _love_ to take responsibility, brat. But if that means I have to stay by your side, then I can't."

His words wrenched her heart, and he understood this, and he let it be. It would be better if she hated him, like what she was supposed to do. It would have been better for her to never meet him, and he genuinely regretted how it had to turn out this way for her.

"W-what are you going to do then?" she asked.

"Unless you order a public execution for me –"

"I have requested Hijikata-san and Katsura-san not to do that," Soyo stated sternly. "Did they –"

Kamui laughed. No wonder he was still alive to date –at the end of the day, it would always be Soyo who was there to save his ass. He saw himself as a pathetic person more and more as seconds pass. "Well, you should have allowed them kill me. But if there's no capital punishment for me, I have a second plan anyway."

"What –"

"I'm leaving earth tonight," he declared the thing she wanted to hear the least. "Well, there's no vacancy for space pirate anymore in this new era, and I can't be jobless forever, you know? So I decided to just do things that I can actually do. You know…becoming a space hunter or something."

Soyo's voice was stopped on her throat. It took her a second or two to recover. This was getting closer, and she hated it. She wanted to prolong this all. "O-of course you can do that. I-I'm glad that you decided to follow your father's path, and I think that's a suitable job to you. But that does not mean you have to leave earth forever, right? You can just go for some days, but return back here and –"

"You said it yourself, brat," Kamui remarked with a smile. "What I have done in the past may not be forgiven. It remains a fact that I killed too many people in the past. It remains a fact that I almost killed you –"

"But you didn't!" she insisted. The pain was suddenly shot through her diaphragm, and Soyo clenched the bed sheet so tight. Kamui couldn't see her this way. Kamui must believe that this pain was nothing.

"But I could have," Kamui noted. "And whatever I do in the future will not redeem it so–"

"I'll bear it," Soyo whispered. She must have looked pathetic now, but she did not care. "True, your sins will not leave you, but I will bear it for you and –"

"I can't let you do that," Kamui said as he shook his head. "Frankly, Hime-sama, don't meddle into my business."

Soyo gritted her teeth; because she knew he was leaving, and there was a good deal he would never come back again. It already hurt so much to think that this would be the last time she could see his face or hear his voice. She was desperate, and she really was a poor excuse of a woman who threw herself to a man, but –

She needed him. She did not care how many rules she had to break, but she needed him.

"Do I still mean nothing to you, Kamui?"

He flinched, but she couldn't see his expression; her tears already blurred her vision.

The sigh that came from his lips was a defeated one, and the words that came from it was the most truthful thing he probably would ever say.

"You mean everything to me, Soyo, and you know that."

The fact that he called her name, the fact that she knew it was truth that he had spoken off, the fact that, despite that, she knew he _still_ could not stay, _frustrated_ her. How much more did he want her to beg? Was he really this cruel, this sadistic? What else did she need to convey to make him see that it was him that she wanted, it was him that she needed, and she really did not, could not even foresee a future without him in it?!

"And exactly because you mean everything to me, that I have to leave," he concluded.

She scoffed. "W-what kind of logic is that?"

"I always have questionable motive, you know that and –"

"For goodness' sake, Kamui!" she shouted, and gritted her teeth when her lungs rebelled again. She coughed and for a second, he looked as if he wanted to take a step closer to her, but he refrained himself from doing so.

 _How cruel._

Forcing herself to straighten her back up, Soyo did so. There was panic on Kamui's eyes upon seeing her gesture, and Soyo felt that this fucking man deserved it. Even if she had to further damage her body, even if it pained her to even sit up like this, she would do it. He needed to know. She needed to show him how she was not making light of this issue.

"Brat, come on," Kamui groaned. " _Please_ don't hurt yourself more."

"If you still insist to leave, then take me with –"

Kamui decided that if he needed to break a promise he made to himself again, this would be the time. He took steps forward to approach her, and it was successful, because Soyo stopped struggling to sit up, and eventually allowed her body to lay down again.

But she knew he did not cross their distance to stay.

"Kamui…"

He stood right next to his bed and she looked up expectantly at him. She still could not see his expression clearly, but she could see that he was extending his arm at her, trying to touch her and –

Kamui stopped inches before his fingers could caress her hair.

"My hands are too bloody to touch you," he concluded –firm and final. "But let this be the last time."

She realized what he was going to do. Panicked, Soyo tried to shift her body away, but her movements had been limited, and she could only protest in stutter, "Kamui, don't you dare –"

But he dared. He always did. Kamui's finger easily tapped on a spot on Soyo's neck that rendered her unconscious in a few seconds.

The eyes that were fluttering close felt the betrayal; and he smiled as he fully embraced the fact that her disappointed gaze would be the last thing he saw of her. That was the best thing he deserved from her. And he would gladly carry the load whenever he went.

Kamui closed his eyes. Seeing her unconscious figure, he was tempted to touch her again, to feel her warmth for the last time –

–but he couldn't.

He had learned self-restraint this time.

"You, too, complete me, Soyo," he whispered the words that she was never to hear. "And I always wish I could –"

 _What? What empty promise would you say to her again, Kamui?_

A graze of sad smile decorated his face. _No more_ , he assured himself. _No more empty promise,_ he convinced himself, before he turned his back on her and walked out of her room.

* * *

"I would have actually sabotaged the spaceship myself, had you not appeared, Captain," stated Abuto. "But you showed up and I had no choice."

Kamui smiled at Abuto and walked pass him to enter the spaceship. He said not a word to him, but only took a seat on the vacant one (he actually purchased the ticket this time). Abuto sighed and followed the captain and entered the spaceship.

The two of them were the last passengers, and upon their entrance into the spaceship, it took less than five minutes for the crew to shut the spaceship door and another extra ten minutes before the spaceship was launched. Soon, the spaceship dashed through the sky, passed the atmosphere, before finally, it belonged back to the space.

Kamui looked out of the window. Earth was still a big, round planet at this height, but soon, he knew it would be insignificant little dot in the vastness of the galaxy.

And at the stars that were so close, he remembered his home –the galaxies to hop, the foreign planet to step –this was how he should and would spend the rest of his life. Despite anything, he still owed his father. And since he was the one responsible of killing the space hunter the galaxy needed, he would assume the role –leaving behind everything, and he knew he would be able to do the job just fine.

 _Fine?_ How would everything be fine from now on? How could he assure himself that everything was alright when he just left the everything, the _only thing,_ that he wanted to hold back and –

( _Hold on there, monster. This is more than you ever deserve)_

"Why, of course," Kamui said with a chuckle.

To Abuto, the chuckle sounded more like a throttled cry. He refrained from making any comment on that though. His captain and him were the least people to deserve mercy, but Abuto supposed, just for once, his captain could use some time to hate himself.

* * *

 **To be Continued**


	25. The Unstoppable

**What Pumps the Blood (Faster)**

 **Chapter 25 – The Unstoppable**

* * *

When there was a goal, one only began to count and wait.

Count on the days or months or years it took to reach that goal; wait for a turn point that could trigger the process; count on the necessary measures to inch closer to the aim; and wait to see if the efforts spent were all worth it.

Ever since her brother died, Soyo began to count and wait. She did not particularly count nor wait for the downfall of the Hitotsubashi faction, no. More than that, she counted and waited for the day her brother's dream could come true: the day where Edo were to be ruled by its own people.

Then one day, it came. With the death of Hitotsubashi Nobunobu, Edo was reformed; the monarch system was fully eliminated; the new democracy-based act was enacted, and his brother's goal was realized.

Soyo stopped counting then.

But one glance to the window that would never be opened again, and she did not know if she could stop waiting.

* * *

The first thing Soyo did after she woke up to Kamui's absence three years ago was to look for him.

Everyone had forbidden her to –for she had still been in the recovery period. But people were weak against desperate wishes. So while she could not travel to the end of the galaxy herself, she requested people who could, like Sakamoto, or Katsura, to locate Kamui's whereabouts. However, galaxy was a vast place. And to one who did not wish to be found, finding him would be nearly impossible.

And as months passed and her body recovered better, Soyo attempted the search herself. Nobody stopped her this time, but it was fate and _himself_ that prevented her to meet him. Every search had been futile, and every time Soyo had to land back on earth, she always came with empty hands.

It took eight months after he left her and dozens of fruitless searches for her to finally give up. Soyo did not originally want to, but soon she started to see there was no point. Besides, it would be selfishfor her to leave Edo. Edo was at that time in the midst of rebuilding itself, and while Soyo was practically dethroned, she did not really have the heart to leave Edo during such a critical transition period. Then, more years passed, and the new government began to settle in, and she could technically go across the stars again, but apparently, few had been heard about him. No hints of his whereabouts, it was as if he was sucked into the black hole and intended to stay there.

But even if her years of searching bore fruit, what was there that she could say to Kamui, again? ' _Hey we all forgive you and it's all cool now and you should return to earth because you can belong here?'_ What would she do to him if she met him again? Push him to the wall and kiss him? Slap him before allowing the firing squad to execute him? Scream at him to stop messing up with her mind (that he seemed to fluidly do even in his absence)?

What and why and how and all the questions grew. And the more the questions mounted, the more that Soyo hesitated.

She did not know what she wanted.

So Soyo stopped.

And when she stopped, she could only do as much as hoping and waiting.

But three years after, what was there to wait, she did not exactly know.

She _thought_ she knew. _Him,_ was her initial guess. But then days passed and months passed and years passed, and the surety started to desert her. What was it about him that she wanted –needed – to wait? When she posed herself a question of ' _what are you actually expecting, Soyo?'_ she answered her own question with silence. She did not know what she wanted anymore. If she wanted for the right thing to happen, then _this_ was the right thing to happen.

After all, Edo was safe. Gin-san returned. Kagura and Okita, two years after the downfall of the Hitotsubashi, tied the knot. Shinsengumi's official re-dissolvement was not something she wanted, but at least the members were now all parts of the reformed government and minus the shenanigans, were all carrying out their duties properly. Otae was cured from the White Plague and just had her first baby with Kondo last month. Sacchan and Nobume remained by her side…and the days Soyo thought she could not live became bearable.

Was it all?

When one was bound to wait for something that she could not even possibly knew, one could only push the desire to the lowest pit of her heart and lock it there.

* * *

"What a rush, Okita-san," Soyo commented after the couple confessed to him. "Second baby bump already? Soichiro is barely four months old."

"I have calculated that I need at minimum five descendants to ruin Hijikata-san's life until he turns 50. So this is actually a perfect planning, Hime-sama."

A whack on the head was received by the sandy-haired boy. His wife was screeching on the background (" _You only do the easy stuff! Why can't you also feel the pain of labor and the backache and the sickness?! And where's my sea salt caramel pudding, bastard?! I've asked for it like three minutes ago!"_ ) and Soyo only chuckled at the everyday display of antics in the Okita household.

When Soyo was not needed to assume the role as the government's advisor (and lately, with the settling government, her advice was less needed), she liked to spend her days dilly-dallying at the Okita household. The Okita couple was easily two of few favorite people that Soyo liked to be with. Kagura was forever her best friend, and Okita was always like a twin brother she never had. On weekends like this when she visited, the husband and wife actually _battled_ on who could be a better host to the former princess. It was always festive, always lively in the household. Both Kagura and Okita were precious to her, and Soyo knew that she was equally precious to them.

 _But…_

"Goddamnit, China," Okita rasped when Soichiro's cries broke from the other room. "You must have forgotten to change your son's diaper again!"

"What?! Just when it's inconvenient to you, suddenly he's not your son?! You go take care of him as well, you bastard!" Kagura yelled back.

Soyo snickered. The couple never ran out of energy to spat venoms to each other.

"Well, prove to me that you are a capable mother!"

"You prove to me that you are a decent father first!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

And with that, the couple dashed towards the next room where the crying Soichiro was. Kagura, even with baby bump of her belly, still had all the power to pit her husband down to the floor. Okita looked like he was just seconds away from kicking his own wife, had he not remembered she was pregnant. Grumbling, both of them tried to stand each other and focused on the parental task first thing first.

"Soyo-chan, wait for a while, okay?" Kagura shouted, and Okita nodded apologetically to his former retainer before he, too, disappeared behind the door of the next room.

Soyo knew she was precious to both of them, just as they were precious to her –but she knew that she would never be their most precious one now.

She smiled to herself and gazed at her surrounding. The Okita now rented a small house for them to live in. The interior design clearly clashed: an element of Chinese decorating here, and modern Japanese there. It was easy to tell that neither of them was willing to shed each of their own preferences for the others completely.

But there were compromises. Two people who always found a ground to disagree with each other had agreed to bound themselves in the holy matrimony. Kagura and Sougo were different, but at the same time, very similar to each other. Such connection was what people would call a soul mate, and Soyo knew Okita was one to Kagura, and vice versa.

 _And as to hers?_

(Nowhere. A girl with heart as monstrous as her only deserved a demon, and even that one left her too)

Soichiro's loud cries brought Soyo back to reality. It seemed that neither Kagura nor Okita was truly capable of silencing their first born. They would need time, need each other, and Soyo knew that was her cue to leave.

So she knocked on the other door to announce her plan to leave. Both Kagura and Okita made the gesture to stand up and tried to prevent her from leaving, but Soichiro cried louder.

With a chuckle, Soyo just shook her head and assured her dear friends.

 _We all have our places in this world, and mine is clearly not here._

"You have Soichiro to take care off first, dearest awkward parents," she said with a beam and a bow before she took her leave.

* * *

"…So if Okita-san and Kagura-chan's next one is a baby girl, I actually want to match make her with Gin-san's baby," Soyo recited her 15-year-ahead plan in the making. "Imagine the dread. Gin-san is actually quite a proud father, and the only time Okita-san and Kagura-chan can actually work together is when they are assuring Gin-san that Soichiro is the better baby."

There was no one to answer her chatter. The tomb was built modest in the public cemetery still, but Soyo took comfort in believing her brother's spirit was sitting on top of his own tomb, listening to each of her daily story.

Ever since the downfall of the Hitotsubashi faction three years prior, her brother's name had been cleaned again. Soyo had refused to have his brother's tomb be moved into a grander place, for she believed that any land –so long that it was Edo's, would be perfect for her brother's last resting place. The other higher-ups had questioned her decision, but Soyo had stuck through it. In this public cemetery, Tokugawa Shigeshige was closer to the Edo people he loved anyway.

And while the tomb bore no excessive decoration, ever since three years prior, more people came to her brother's tomb. Ever since, there had been not a day where his tomb was free of other visitor. There was lesser privacy for Soyo, but Soyo knew she could not complaint, for this was exactly how his brother wanted it to be. Surrounded by the people, loved by his citizens –Soyo couldn't have it any other way.

But these days had been cloudy, and his brother's tomb had no visitor that day. The sky growled above her, but she rarely had the time to be alone with her brother again lately. So she decided to welcome the upcoming rain; the umbrella was already opened as she kneeled in front of his tomb. Soyo had made it a habit to visit her brother's grave daily –unless there was a really urgent matter that propelled her otherwise. She would have come with stories, chatters, gossips, wicked plans –anything. His brother needed to know that the land he cherished was now in good hands, and everyone was happy.

 _And are you?_

Soyo smiled to herself as she placed her hand on Shigeshige's tomb. She exhaled a deep breath. It was a rare chance to be with her brother alone, but aside from the story regarding Kagura's second pregnancy, Soyo did not really have anything else to report.

"Aniue-sama," she fondly called over her brother's nickname. "It's so peaceful nowadays. I wish I can retell you stories about Hijikata-san's being embarrassed in the council meeting, but I've told you that one," she pondered. "Or how Saa-chan was captured for public indecency, but you have also heard that one."

 _And what about you, sister?_

"I don't have anything to say about that," Soyo muttered with a shrug. "All's fine, I guess. Bought a new curtain for a change of mood, but I'm not sure that's what you want to hear."

The sky seemed to protest, but Soyo really had nothing else to offer.

"That's really…" she paused and a heave of deep sigh escaped her lips. "…That's really all to it."

* * *

People had long stopped asking if she was fine.

Not that she had to convince them otherwise, but there were times when the rain just fell harder on the land of Edo, and her heart mellowed, and she could not fight the crippling emptiness.

The scar on her stomach that he had left stung. And sometimes, _just_ sometimes, she wished she could just gnaw her fingers deeper into the old wound –finishing what he once could not have done. No, she was not really suicidal or anything, not really. But sometimes she just wanted to open up her own self, to look, to confirm, whether there was really something else aside the emptiness in this mass of body she forced herself to carry day to day.

Sometimes she just needed to confirm whether she could still bleed, whether she was actually still alive, because there were times where she was not sure she was.

And there were times where she just did not know what she was doing anymore. Sometimes she found herself nearly moments too late from putting her finger inside her throat to choke out the excessive sleeping pills. Other times, she found out that she had scars on her wrists she did not really realize she had made herself. It frustrated her because she was not supposed to be this weak. It was even more ridiculous to acknowledge that this was caused by a man who did not even look back when she was calling his name.

Soyo never cried ever since she woke up alone in that hospital room three years ago. She refused to acknowledge the growing emptiness that was starting to swallow her by each trickling days.

"Oh, you evil guy," she spat the curse just as she forced herself to spit out the pills she swallowed too much.

She did not cry, but she often laughed. If Kamui was a monster and that monster had left now, why must it felt like her own monster growing stronger day by day?

* * *

Not all things must be granted, that she realized. The fact that the land her brother loved dearly was prospering was more than everything she, as the former princess, could expect to have. And there was no lie in that fact –she would not have traded Edo's current peace with anything else. Perhaps because she was raised to devote herself to her country, but Soyo had everything carved in her mind that her own needs always came second when compared to the country's needs.

"But you seem to forget that you're no longer a princess, Hime-sama," Hijikata said one day when Soyo came to the deputy office to visit him.

The room reeked of tobacco, but from time to time, Soyo liked to visit the government office just to check on few things. Kondo's room might have been free of tobacco, but he would probably ramble about his son than inform her on the country's domestic affairs. Thus, for the latter purpose, Hijikata was always Soyo's go-to person.

"You can start acknowledging that fact by stop calling me 'Hime-sama' then, Hijikata-san."

"That's your nickname," Hijikata persisted. "And while I always, always value your inputs to the government affairs, I don't want you to be bound by it. You've done us more than enough, Hime-sama."

Soyo smiled. She knew that she might have been nosier these days, but people seemed to forget that she just needed a distraction. A purpose in this life whose goal she could no longer see.

"I might not have been saying it correctly," Hijikata added an afterthought as he scratched his head. "You're never a burden to us. You're always more than just a monarchy symbol, more than a tradition to be uphold. You're always more than all of that. But we…at least I… I don't want you to live the rest of your life be burdened by something like these boring governmental affairs."

Sipping her tea delicately, Soyo deliberated. She loved all the other Edo and Kabuki-cho folks. But when she was in the mood for a more substantial talks, they mostly would turn everything into something comedic. It was always in Hijikata that she could trust a little bit of less humor –at least for so long that Gin-chan and the Shinsengumi were not involved.

"I know I may be intrusive, but…" she paused. The storm inside her heart started to howl and her monster was close to eating her up alive. Smiling sadly at the man, she eventually confessed, "I just need a place to be, Hijikata-san."

Hijikata drew a long inhale of nicotine, before he butted the cigarette to the ashtray and faced her again.

"And I would have given you that place, Hime-sama. I would have, really, but that place for you is not here."

She absentmindedly glanced at the big window behind Hijikata. "Where is it then?"

"You know where it is."

"I don't."

"That space pirate."

Soyo raised her face to look at Hijikata again. Okita and Kagura, and as a matter of fact, everyone else, would have never mentioned that name in front of her. There seemed to be a mutual agreement among her folks that his name remained taboo. Hijikata was probably the only person who dared to confront it directly to Soyo.

And it was nothing new. So there was no need to beat it around the bush in front of Hiijkata.

"I don't even know where he is, Hijikata-san," she reminded.

"No," Hijikata shook his head. "You just don't want to know where he is," he corrected. "You could have asked Sakamoto to look for him. You could have gone through space to look for him, nothing is binding you here anymore, but you never do that."

Soyo raised an eyebrow. "Are you, a public official, actually instigating me to look for a space pirate who has breached this country's many laws?"

Hijikata smirked at that. "I am now not speaking on behalf of my title. I'm now speaking as someone who considers you my own sister. And in that latter's capacity, I'd say, go for it."

The former princess only chuckled. She was about to drag the conversation to a lighter note, but it seemed that Hijikata was not letting her slip away again this time.

"That one person for me has left, Hime-sama," Hijikata spoke gently; only the most tender memory left to reminisce the only girl who could shine his life. "She is already in a place where I cannot reach. Yours, however, is still here. If you allow yourself to."

Soyo gave a long stare to Hijikata. Just like how Kamui was a taboo name for her, Soyo knew how Mitsuba was a taboo one for Hijikata. Exhaling a deep sigh, she regretted over it. She did not wish for Hijikata to remember something as painful as losing his loved one forever, and Soyo felt guilty that Hijikata had to do it. "Hijikata-san –"

"Don't worry about me," Hijikata added quickly. "My soul has accepted what destiny has drawn for us. But you are a different case, Hime-sama. Deep down, your soul is still searching for him, and I'll tell you, for so long that you have not let him go, your soul will never be at peace. So you…don't make me, us, worry."

Soyo wanted to rebut the point. She wanted to argue, but the look on Hijikata's eyes made her unable to do so. Hijikata-san... at least for him, Soyo would conceal everything with a reassuring smile.

"Alright."

* * *

Soyo wished though, that someone could let her know the definition of 'moving on'.

Her life, admittedly, had been on stale for the past three –going four – years now. When her dearest Aniue-sama died, there was a period of staleness too, but soon she was preoccupied with lots of other things: the run from the then-ruling Hitotsubashi faction, the strive to save Edo people from the tyrant that was Nobunobu, the fight to overthrow those who did not deserve sitting on the thrones, Kagura-chan's return after five years, and then _him._

Things that kept her preoccupied moved her forward when she thought she had lost everything. But now that each of her friends had their own families to tend to, now that the government was moving forward to rebuilding itself, few things kept her occupied.

And nothing gave her a purpose anymore.

And without a new purpose, she was not sure how to move on.

Matsudaira was always concerned over her. She knew that he had been silently giving her new purposes. But for so long that her heart was carried by someone _somewhere_ in the galaxy, it was easy to ignore these new offered purposes.

"So, you'd probably grow tired of me saying it for the eighth time already, but the son of Lord Kageshita still maintains his position that he wants to marry you," Matsudaira reported to her one day.

"I'm hardly a princess anymore. I don't even really have many assets or inheritance. Please tell that guy it brings no benefits for him to wed someone like me, Matsudaira-san," Soyo noted.

"He does not care for all of that, Hime-sama," Matsudaira replied softly. "I know this boy personally. He's a nice kid. Probably not the most dependable guy ever, but he's a good guy."

Soyo smiled and nearly wanted to throttle. "I don't deserve men that nice, Matsudaira-san."

"What do you think you deserve then, Hime-sama? Some run-down space pirates whose whereabouts are unknown? Criminals?" Matsudaira scoffed. "Youdeserve better, Hime-sama."

"I'm not good –"

"Do think of other excuses, Hime-sama," Matsudaira said as he shook his head. "And make up your mind. Either you seize the opportunity to marry this good guy, or you go search for your own space pirate bad boy. I wouldn't mind either way, Hime-sama, but now, you're doing neither. You're no longer _trying_. This sight of you now, my apology in advance for saying this, but…you absolutely look pitiful," Matsudaira ranted. And once he realized what kind of impoliteness he had just displayed towards his previous employer, the old man bowed again, "I'll accept any punishment for my words. But I won't take back what I said, Hime-sama."

Matsudaira was about to stand up when the soft voice called for him again.

"When?"

Frowning his eyebrows, Matsudaira replied, "Huh?"

Soyo slowly directed her gaze back towards Matsudaira.

"When can I meet this Kageshita guy?"

* * *

"You finally laughed."

Soyo stopped her giggle and stared at the man whom she had been going out for one year. The latter, the young Kageshita, had just fallen into the muddy pool when he tried to save the package he was carrying. Her cackle had died down, but the softness in her eyes did not leave the man –who had given her a new reason to live the days. "I'm pretty sure that was not the first time you saw me laugh," Soyo clarified as she extended her hand to help Kageshita.

Kageshita smiled back but he shook his head to refuse Soyo's extended hands. Soyo pulled her hand back, but the boy –two years older than her – chose to remain on his spot, completely dirtied by the mud. "You'll get dirty," he reasoned.

"That doesn't matter much," she assured and was about to extend her hand again, but he shook his head.

Eventually he got up from the mud pool himself. "Nah. Girls are not supposed to get dirty."

Soyo smiled at that. She was sure that there was no hidden meaning behind his words. For the past one year of dating Kageshita, Soyo had learned that the guy was probably one of the most sincere men out there. Always the type to wear his heart on his sleeves, and sometimes was dubbed as the 'rich simpleton' (courtesy to Sougo Okita), Kageshita always meant what he said, and said what he meant.

It was always relaxing to be with him. A boy whose vilest thought would probably only to the extent of whether accidentally touching her butt would warrant him a month of anger, and Soyo appreciated each and every of his thoughtful gesture. Such a pure boy and out of the two in the relationship, it was always easy to tell who was the S and who was the M. Sometimes Soyo pitied him, sometimes Soyo thought she did not deserve him, sometimes she –

"This is not my ideal plan for this, but…" Kageshita trailed as he unwrapped the little package that he had been carrying –the precious thing that cost him falling to the dumpster. Soyo waited as he patiently unwrapped each layer, before one diamond ring was extended to her.

"Ah," he noted himself when she said not a word. "My hands are dirty right now, I'm so sorry," he bashfully looked down. "But I just feel like I have to do it today, or I'll forever lose my guts."

She looked at him, at the pretty blush that was spreading on his cheeks. The honest, kind man who had given her everything and probably gained nothing in return.

Soyo thought she wanted to give something back in return.

The words came after nearly a minute of silence and nervousness, but when it came, it held nothing but a promise of a lifetime worth of security.

"Soyo, I intend to take care of you from this day onwards. Would you allow me to marry you?"

Soyo glanced at the ring. It was a simple one. Kageshita could have bought one more intricate and expensive, but he just knew exactly what type of ornament she liked. Kageshita would accept her for the way she was. Kageshita thought of her before himself. Kageshita was technically the only thing she should ever want and need.

"…Kageshita, I –" _don't think I'm ready for this,_ but she swallowed the last part in.

"O-or is there something still holding you back?" he asked, slight dejection started to seep into his voice.

No. There was nothing that was holding her back.

( _But there was a memory, a past, a touch, a man, a soul that was always chaining her down, and she was all but shackled and bound by the heavy sentiment that kept her tied_ )

But Kageshita did not need to know that.

"Thank you," Soyo accepted the ring and the beam on Kageshita's face was so bright, it blinded Soyo.

* * *

It was funny how when she thought she was ready to move on, she was pulled in the universe's mechanism so fast. First, a new man that appeared in her life. Then, the betrothal. Then, when in fact it had spanned another eight months post the proposal, it quickly forwarded her to the day before the wedding.

Everything ran so fast when she hardly put any thought to it.

"Shouldn't you be inside? Your wedding is tomorrow, right, Hime-sama?" Okita asked as he walked towards his past retainer –who was standing by the beach. Kageshita family owned this private sea resort and the place was fully reserved for the wedding the day after.

"Shouldn't you also be inside, Okita-san?" Soyo asked back. "I'm pretty sure I heard Kagura's screaming for you to help her take care of your two kids. Or else, I heard she would hang you as a piñata on my wedding day?"

Sougo chuckled. "I'm sure the last part was your own initiative. Don't give China new ideas on how to torture me, Hime-sama."

"The first part is very much true, though," Soyo argued. Kagura did wail constantly on 'this useless husband of mine' who never helped her with the domestic chores.

"Nah, just for a while," Sougo said as he pocketed his hands inside his beach shorts' pockets. Kagura had, after all, ordered him to check on her best friend. "It's pretty windy this night. You really don't want to go inside?"

"Nah, just for a while," Soyo returned the words with a grin.

Sougo sighed. He knew that Soyo would appreciate more time alone in this night before her wedding. He knew that behind the pleasant smile and the calmness, there must be thousand thoughts in her mind. He had known her for years, taken care of her for years as well. Sougo always held back the words he wanted to say to her out of fear she would break. But now, at least now ( _before never_ ), he thought he just owed her some piece of his mind.

"All in all, I just want you to be happy, Hime-sama," he started. "So, are you?"

She turned her face towards him and narrowed her eyes in puzzlement, "I'm getting married tomorrow."

A faint smile crossed the sword bearer. "You're not answering my question."

"Well," Soyo pondered. "I don't deserve answering your question with anything in the negative," Soyo said. "I've had all I want now. My brother's wish, Edo's prosperity, my friends' happiness, and my fiancee's happiness."

"Yet you're still not satisfied."

Soyo chuckled. "Am I just a selfish woman if I admit to it?"

Sougo shook his head. "One cannot be forced to acknowledge happiness if she is not happy."

Soyo narrowed her eyes. Oh, how vile and shallow of her. Now she thought that marrying someone would finally ascertain her friends that she had moved on, but of course, to those really close to her, there was no use to hide it.

"I can't disappoint Kageshita. Not at this point."

"That's really your choice. I will stand by your side no matter what choice you make, Hime-sama."

She tilted her head. "Even if I make a wrong choice?"

"Did I forbid you from meeting that space pirate back then? He was one bundle of wrongchoice and more, but I let you be, remember?"

Soyo chuckled at the memory. "You pointed your sword against him back then."

"That time I was not certain of both your feelings. But once I have it all confirmed, I've never said anything against it, have I?"

A helpless chuckle escaped her lips. "Maybe you should have."

Sougo smiled to himself. The younger girl said nothing after that, and he knew it was his cue to leave. There. He had said what he wanted to say. He had promised her what he could promise. Now it was all back to her decision, and Sougo decided to let her have it her way. Before taking his leave, Sougo dropped his jacket on top of Soyo's shoulders. "Will you be alright on your own?"

With an assuring and grateful smile, Soyo nodded. "I will. I always am."

* * *

The sea waves crashed upon the rocks noisily that night. But every beat of the drumming noise the sea created bring even more peace in the storm that was hurling in her mind.

Soyo exhaled a deep breath and tightened Sougo's jacket over her shoulders. It was a summer night, but the temperature had dropped a couple of degrees and she started to sneeze. Maybe it was time for her to get back inside.

Get back inside, stop all this drama, go to sleep, because tomorrow, she would wake up different. She would wake up and soon be someone else's wife, and she would have a new life unfolded before her, and it was time, goddamnit, it had been years and she knew it was time for her to…

"He's not coming," she whispered to herself.

…to let it go.

The constant wave sounds were her only replies and she chuckled. What was there she expected to find? An answer God would give her through the universe? Through the sea, through the waves, when everything, when her answer had always been there inside her heart and she knew _perfectly well_ that –

"He's not coming," she repeated, and the tears fell from her eyes –the first time that she shed ever since that night four years ago. "He's never coming back," she sobbed.

Sougo's jacket was soon ruined with her tears and snots. While she knew Sougo would probably earn Kagura's scolding later, Soyo mercilessly continued to sob onto his jacket.

"Stop waiting," she begged. "Stop waiting, you fool…" she pled to her heart, to her mind, because she knew she had to get away from this place, and return to the place that had been comfortably provided for her.

… _.here._

Soyo stopped her sobs and quickly lifted her head. Did she just hear something? From the sea? From the darkness? She focused her attention to the surrounding, to the voice she thought she could hear. But she must have been hallucinating. Because there was no one else on the beach. All that was there were the dark sea and the moonlight and the memory so fragile it would fade soon.

But her feet took more steps into the water. It was cold, it was wet, and soon it reached her knees, but she could not stop, because she thought she heard the voice she had been longing to hear for years already and…

 _I'm here._

The sudden blast of wave upon her chest startled and awakened her. It soaked her, but at least it brought her back to reality. She was in the middle of the sea, a couple of feet away from the safe sands and the tides were high. This was getting out of control. She laughed at herself. _How dangerous._ Soyo shook her head and turned around, trying to get out of the sea water when she heard it again.

 _I'm here, won't you be here by my side?_

She was stunned, and she stopped on her track. Staring at her surrounding where there was nothing but the water, and it was really getting more hazardous. This was ridiculous. If she was found out washed away as a corpse on the night before her wedding, that would be catastrophic. This was stupid. She was not hearing anything. Don't get _delusional._ There might have been evil spirits who wanted her to die before her wedding day, and Soyo knew she could not let people mourned over a stupid decision of suicide or anything, because that would be –

 _I'm here. I'm always here. Don't you miss me?_

Clear. The wound on her stomach stung again and her heart wavered. The sound was clear; the voice was clear. Maybe it was her ghost. Maybe it was his ghost. Maybe it was the monster that never chose to leave her and now she was getting dragged into –

"K-Kamui?" Soyo stammered, and before she could be rational, she turned her body around again towards the sea, and started to go further. The water was on her chest level now, and this was suicidal, this was stupid, but –

 _I miss you._

His voice. It might not have been his voice. She was sure that if it had been him, he would never want to put her into peril again. It was a demon's voice. And she knew she just had to get herself together and not be tricked, but it was just that… it was just that…

(I miss your voice. Is that your voice? Don't let me forget your voice. Don't leave me. Here. Here I'm always here. I'm always here so why won't you come to me and let me –)

"Kamui!" she screamed to the sea, and the only response she heard was the hurling and loud sound of the waves crushing onto her, toppling her down, and she was submerged, she was drowned, and she thought she heard a monster laughing somewhere.

 _Got you. He'd never come back. He's never yours. You'll never have him. He's never coming back._

(You're not coming back?)

 _Won't. Nope. Never. But let's just drown here, drown here and it was better than to be up there where you live your days carrying only a corpse that was your own body. Down here was better, down here where you could be reunited with the monsters, and let's die together and –_

It was not Kamui. It was not even the sea spirits or Gods or nature's call. It was only her monster, her delusion, and as the water surrounded her and she started to lose her consciousness, she knew it would be the end, and at the end of the day…

"You'll never come back," she muttered the last words and laughed. And when she laughed, the sea water got inside her lungs, and she felt her body was dragged down by the currents force, and she was all but a piece of rock waiting for moments to be fully submerged before –

–a hand grasped her wrist. She could not see anything in the dark water, but maybe her monster took pity of her and allowed her to see one last delusion.

A whiff of long, braided orange hair and a gruff voice.

"What the hell are you doing, brat?!"

Soyo was imagining things, and she would die soon anyway, but at least…

…ah, he came.

* * *

Kamui did not come back.

Soyo woke up with a jolt and the first thing she felt after the headache was a sting of slap on her face.

The slap brought her back to the reality much faster than anything else. She seated herself and as she nursed her slapped cheek, she looked around. She was in an unfamiliar room. It was all white, but it hardly resembled heaven. Because there was this sterile medicine scent, and the hospital equipment, and surely, heaven (or hell) did not have furious blue eyes and orange hair that spat onto her right that very moment.

"What the hell did you think you were doing, Soyo-chan?!" Kagura screamed at the top of her lungs.

On the other side of her bed, Kageshita quickly tried to calm down the clearly enraged best friend –now already held back by her husband. Sougo tried his best to control his wife's temper, but Soyo could also see the look of pure disappointment on Sougo's reddish eyes, cast directly to his former retainer.

"N-now, Kagura-san. I know you're worried, but Soyo is still recovering. I think it's better if we give her a moment to adapt," Kageshita tried to calm Kagura down before he looked down to his fiancée. There was a look of pure relief and sadness on Kageshita's eyes, and Soyo dreaded everything that happened.

Oh no, what kind of idiocy had she just committed?

"K-Kagura-chan, Okita-san…" she mumbled before she turned her attention to her fiancée. "K-Kageshita-san. I'm sorry, t-the wedding, is it still –"

"That's the least of your worry now. You should focus more on getting yourself better," Kageshita assured as he put his hand over Soyo's forehead.

"No, you should focus on getting your fucking mind back on its track!" Kagura still howled, tears were brimming on her eyes. "What the hell were you thinking?! Do you know how worried we all were?! Had Sougo not decided to go back and check on you again, you would have, you would have…"

Soyo confusedly tried to lock her gaze with Okita –who was still holding both of his wife's arms. Okita. It was Okita who saved her when she just stupidly got carried by her own hallucination. Who was she expecting?

"Yes," Okita affirmed with iciness on his eyes. "And don't expect me to do the same thing again, Hime-sama. I _don't_ ever want to undergo the same dread of thinking you might be dead again."

"I…" Soyo muttered, speechless. Was she really _that weak_? Did she really almost commit a suicide? Over a hallucination? Over a delusion that was her own weak heart's making? Was she really that frail? To make all these people worry for her? To ruin the day of her wedding?

Her jaw hardened and the wave of shame washed over her. "I-I'm sorry. I really didn't understand what was going on in my mind. I…I'm sorry…"

Kagura did not seem like she was ready to accept Soyo's apology, and the Yato girl was close to slapping her own best friend again, but Kageshita quickly tried to tone down the situation. Soyo's fiancée tried to assure that the two had better given Soyo some air now, and that he needed to speak alone with his fiancée.

Kagura still ranted, and Sougo still had those disappointed look on his eyes, but the two eventually agreed to leave Kageshita alone with Soyo.

The shock from everything had not really made anything sensible to Soyo. But once Kageshita dragged a chair and sat beside her hospital bed, Soyo opened her mouth first.

"K-Kageshita, I-I'm sorry. T-the wedding. I was so reckless. I was so careless. I didn't know what had gotten to me. I –"

"If you really want to cancel the wedding, all you need to do is _ask,_ Soyo. You don't need to take a suicide for that," Kageshita started slowly.

"I wasn't planning to!" Soyo insisted. "I mean, I know it looked like I was trying to commit a suicide, but I… I just…I really wasn't myself that night. I was just hallucinating, and I just thought, I just thought …"

 _that he came. But that could never be the case._

Soyo buried her face to her hands. Why? Even now that he never came, why couldn't she just erase him completely off her mind?

"…I've told the guests. And I've cancelled the catering and everything. The wedding's off."

Soyo hiccupped. She did not know how long had it been since the supposed wedding day. "I'm sorry. I'll take responsibility. I'll contact and apologize to all the guests and invite them again. I'll pay and reorder the resort rent, the catering, and we can choose another date and –"

"No, the wedding's off, Soyo. I'm breaking our engagement."

Soyo finally pulled her face away from her hands and stared at her fiancée. Kageshita was smiling, but it was so bitter that she felt the emotion was surging up her ribcage again. "W-what?"

"I thought I could save you," Kageshita spoke slowly. "I thought this new life I offered could give you a new purpose, but it couldn't. I couldn't."

"K-Kageshita," Soyo tried to reason. Kageshita. This man was the one who had filled her past year with something else. The most patient one. She knew she had disappointed him a lot of times, but this time, of all times, she could not do it again. "Kageshita, what happened that night was entirely my own act of stupidity. I promise it won't happen again. I won't let myself take such an impromptu foolish decision like that again. I-I told you, I really wasn't myself, and I –"

"I love you, Soyo," Kageshita cut in and her heart ached over the sincerity in it. "And I know you care for me too. But I can never be the person your heart truly wishes for. And for that I'm sorry."

"Why are you the one apologizing?" Soyo dreaded. "Why must it be you, when I'm clearly one at fault, when I'm clearly the one who –"

"The person you love might be wrong, but you can't lie to yourself, Soyo," Kageshita assured as he held her clasped hands. "I'm not the one who can save you."

"Kageshita –"

The man pulled his lips into a big smile. But his warm hands soon left Soyo's, and in the absence of such warmth, his words were the only thing he left before he exited the room.

"This past one year has been fun, Soyo. Thank you for that."

* * *

Soyo did not think she ever deserved Kageshita's gratitude.

If anything, she knew she only deserved his wrath, his disappointment, his hatred. She wanted him to yell back at her, slap her if necessary even, she did not care. He had tried his best, he had given her his all, and all she could give in return was only a year-worth of wasting his time. She was never in love with him, but she genuinely cared for him. And it broke her heart how she had cruelly broken his.

But she could not lie to herself. It was not as if she had not tried. She wanted to love him back. She wanted to move on. She wanted, oh, she wanted _so much_ to return all of Kageshita's kindness. But at the end of the day, she knew the very truth herself. Kageshita just happened to say it out loud to her.

Kageshita could never be the person her heart truly wished for.

Soyo buried her face to her palms again. She hated herself more. She knew she did not deserve acting like a victim at this point, but it was just her heart; her rebellious heart that refused to be tamed down, that was always pumped by something faster, viler, sharper, crueler…

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…"

And since she promised not to lie to herself again, she promised that this one was also not a lie.

"I, too…" she sobbed in the place where Kageshita was no longer be. "This past year has been fun, Kageshita. Thank you so much…"

* * *

It took Soyo three days before the hospital agreed to release her. It also took four more days before the Okita household decided to open their door for her.

Sougo was the one who opened the door for her. Kagura seemed to still be in her angry period, and she had chosen her kids as the reason for her inability to meet Soyo. Soyo thought that she deserved it, at minimum. She had thought about it herself, and had the situation been reserved, had Sougo or Kagura almost died in front of her eyes, she would have also treated them the same.

Still, the apology was always in order. No matter how redundant, it was still the only thing she could offer _._

"I'm sorry."

Though Okita had opened the door for her, it did not mean he was ready to act all casual with her. "You should be, Hime-sama," the ex-Shinsengumi captain coldly responded. "And I asked you before whether you would be alright, and you said yes. Then you made that almost fatal stupid decision. To be honest, it would take years for me to trust you again," Sougo claimed.

"I really thought I would be alright," Soyo confessed. "I didn't lie. I really thought, but apparently, I thought wrong."

Sougo stared down at the younger girl. This was meddlesome. Why must his life be filled with so many meddlesome women? Shaking his head, Sougo decided that he still needed to corner her. "What were you thinking, really?"

"I didn't even know," Soyo admitted truthfully. "My heart has probably always been weak, but that night, maybe it was at its weakest. I was lulled. I was tempted by my own vile thoughts, my own illusion. I…" she shook her head. "I have no excuse. I'm sorry, and I promise that won't happen again."

"Didn't I just tell you that it would take years for me to trust you again?" Sougo reminded.

Soyo grimly accepted it. "Then that's already more than I deserve."

Sougo did not attempt to say anything else after that, but he made no gesture to leave his living room either. Soyo thought that it was her cue to bow her head down to seek for more apology again. But then the doors behind Sougo slid open, and a furious looking Kagura made her appearance.

"Kagura-chan –"

"What the hell were you thinking?" Kagura spat the same question again. "After making us, all of us, worried to death, what do you want now, Soyo-chan?"

"I'm sorry," Soyo apologized again. She could not even fathom herself, and she did not expect other people to understand her action when she barely understood herself either. "I really have worried and caused trouble to a lot of people. I have no excuse. And I'll take responsibility for whatever troubles I've caused."

Kagura sighed, but she decided to sit beside her husband and together, they gave the condescending look to her. "Did you really think that death would give you the answer you were looking for?"

"I wasn't planning to commit a suicide, Kagura-chan," Soyo assured.

"That was not the first time, was it?" Kagura mercilessly accused. "Anego said that she often saw you buying lots of sleeping pills. And I'm sure there's a reason why you always bandage your wrists all these times, isn't there?"

Soyo took a gulp down. In embarrassment, she confessed, "…Sometimes I'm not myself."

"Are we really not enough, Soyo-chan?"

Soyo lifted her face up just in time to see Kagura wiping the tears off her own eyes. Behind her, Soyo could see how Sougo was secretively caressing his wife's back.

And the question was familiar. Years, and years ago, when Kagura first found out that Soyo had a little secret relationship with her brother, Kagura had asked her the same question. Soyo suddenly had the urge to slap herself. Had she really brought this much trouble, this much worry towards Kagura and the others?

"You're all the reason I can continue to live," Soyo confessed, and there was nothing but the truth in her words.

"But not enough reasons to fill the emptiness in your heart?" Kagura continued.

"I –"

"At this point of time, I wish you'd be more honest to us, Soyo-chan. At least you owe us that," Kagura said before Soyo could come up with the same old excuses.

And Soyo chuckled bitterly to herself before she let it all out. Kagura was right. Honesty was the only thing she could offer them.

"…I thought time could heal," Soyo slowly admitted. "I thought I could forget. I thought I could bring myself to let go, to really move on but…"

Kagura and Sougo both never took their eyes off her.

Soyo buried her face on her palms again, because this was embarrassing, because this would only convince Kagura and Sougo that she was nothing but a weak girl with a weak heart. But at least…at least she owed themselves a bit of truth.

"B-but it's always _him._ My heart always seeks for him. My minds are always making excuses to think of him. And that night… that night I just thought I could hear him, and I was imagining things, and I thought he was there with me," she scoffed. "I was hallucinating. Okita-san was the one who was there. I was…just so stupid."

Sougo glanced at his wife –who maintained her posture straight and her arms crossed over her chest. He sighed. His wife would give him a beating and scolding for this, but…

"You were not completely imagining things, Hime-sama," Sougo said, and she paused –waiting for the hit that would come from his wife. But there was none, and as if through her silence, Kagura was prompting Sougo to continue.

Soyo raised her face slowly. "What?"

"That man was really there. When I decided to go back to the beach to check up on you, he was the one who carried you off the water. He was the one who originally saved you."

" _What_?" Soyo hissed. That could not be. She had accepted the fact that she was one hell of a delusional woman. She had seen her wrongs. Surely Sougo could be nice, but he shouldn't be that nice to make her believe in something that she knew she was not supposed to believe and –

"He's been here sometimes," Kagura added after much hesitation. "I mean, I couldn't let my kids grow up without knowing their only uncle, so…" she shrugged. "So I had told him to come back once in a while. And he did. He'd been on earth back a couple of times, but I… I always forbid him to see you. And he never protested. I think he knows his place."

Soyo stared dumbfounded.

Kagura sighed and averted her eyes to look at anything but Soyo. "I thought it was not his place to meet you again," she repeated. "But I was also the one who did not know that your place, that his place was actually…" she did not want to continue the words.

Soyo still did not say a word. Kagura and Okita surely had their reasons of never letting her know this, and she would not argue to that point. But the fact that Kamui… Kamui had been there…

"I thought it was for the best," Kagura eventually resumed her speech. "But if what I think is the best should be traded with you going to a place we can never reach again," she shook her head. A defeated smile crossed her face as Kagura finally decided. "Then maybe you two sickos should really find that place to be with each other."

Soyo suddenly stood from her spot and looked down at the couple. "He was here? H-he... _is_ here?"

"On the way to go back to his hunting mission," Sougo added. "I believe he's scheduled to leave soon."

Soyo widened her eyes. This was her chance. She could finally find that bastard and drag him down and slap him and shake him off and really, _hurt_ him real bad for all the misery he had caused her. But was that it? Was she ready to confront him? After all these times, after all these four years…

Sougo also stood up. "I can take you to the private rocket departure terminal," he offered. "But that's only if you're prepared for the consequence," he said, and Soyo could see the last attempt of warning Sougo wanted to give her. "Remember, you can only have damnation if you choose one hell of a villain."

Damnation? Soyo thought about it and chuckled. If it was damnation that she would have for giving that jerk a piece of her mind, then she knew the answer right away.

* * *

They were the runaways.

For all these years, Abuto had all the reasons to abandon his stupid captain, but the older man had accepted his fate: that he would forever be babysitting one hell of a captain and follow him to the other end of the world. For years they had hopped from one planet to the other, purged the monsters away for the innocent civilians in various planets. From pirates to space hunters. It had been such a drastic career change, but Abuto was used to all the frantic impulsiveness his captain had in mind.

Though this time, it was different.

"You're really sure you don't want to see her again this time?" Abuto asked the mandatory question he always had whenever they were on earth. His captain was already climbing up the spaceship's ladder, and was only two steps away from getting into the vessel. Two steps, one closed door, and it would be the same routine again: running away from galaxy to galaxy in order to avoid the only thing he could never truly escape from.

At least Kamui turned around and gave an almost heartfelt grin. "Have I ever been unsure about that?"

They had returned to earth a couple of times after that incident four years ago, but Abuto knew that this time was different. This time, his captain had witnessed himself how the girl he had left nearly ran out of all reasons to live. Abuto thought that if was to be a change on his captain's mind, it could only be this time.

"You don't want to check on her condition?"

"Nah," Kamui muttered idly. "She's in a safe place. Anywhere but near me will be a safe place for her. Now let's go, Abuto. We have a long journey to take. Are you driving the spaceship or not?"

"Yeah, we'll –" Abuto paused when he felt something was buzzing. Taking his phone, he saw the peculiar number of the earth policeman the little miss had married herself to. Frowning, but curious as to what the policeman had to say, Abuto allowed his captain to take the next step up towards the spaceship before he picked up the phone.

Kamui had entered the spaceship and realized that Abuto was not coming with him. Popping his head by the door, he asked his subordinate below. "What is it? You're not coming?"

Abuto stared up at his captain before he turned the call off. A whisk of grin mildly crossed his face before he shouted up. "I am. But I got something else to do first."

"Something else?" Kamui asked when Abuto eventually climbed the stairs up to the space ship. The older man got inside the spaceship and stood behind his captain. "What is it about?"

Abuto shrugged. "I've been wanting to do this for a long while, Captain."

"Huh?" Kamui asked.

But before he could demand more clarification from Abuto, the latter had grabbed him by the collar. And without much ado and with all ignorance towards the protest, Abuto excitedly threw his own captain off the space ship.

Kamui cursed as his chest hit the surface of earth. He growled and quickly stood up –ready to give Abuto the beating of his life. But Abuto only calmly pressed a button, and the stairs of the spaceship were folded up, and the door closed. It did not even take the next three seconds for Abuto to start the spaceship engine and the propeller readied itself to launch the spaceship.

"Abuto!" Kamui screamed at the departing spaceship. "Stop this! What the hell do you think you're do–" Kamui could not really finish his words –for something had pulled him down and he was left to fall back to the ground on his back.

There were two sights that he saw. First was the spaceship Abuto had launched away.

And the second, was his very own monster.

With red kimono and black hair blowed by the wind, this country's very own former sadistic princess was standing over his lying body. The sun was behind her, and Kamui could not see her expression, but he knew it was her, always her, the face that had always haunted him all these times, the chains that he could never break free, the monster that would one day bring him down to the lowest pit of hell.

"Y-you –" Kamui still could not finish his words, but this time, it was not because of surprise. It was because of the tip of the sharp sword that was pressed against his throat.

"Oh, don't get all too excited, Villain," said the evil princess with sword held firmly against his neck. "I'm not here to make amends. I'm here to make you pay for all the mess you've caused."

The sword that had made a thin red line on his neck was a proof of that. It baffled him. The little girl whose life he had nearly taken a little too often in the past now had _his_ life on her hand.

"W-what?" Kamui mumbled; all still made no freaking sense to him.

Soyo smiled so bright, but the tip of the sword was pressed tighter. "In other words, I'm here to challenge you to a fight, Space Pirate-san!"

* * *

It took Kamui a complete three seconds to blink, to think, to wonder, and even after then, he still could not understand the whole thing.

There was a face he had longed to see and touch for all these years; the face and the woman he could never allow himself to hold or even to see again. But this woman was here now, all flesh and blood, and not an unconscious lump of body he had found in the sea a week earlier. But there was no softness or mercy on her face. Her face might have been all smile and cheer, but the words she said did not have a single hint of hesitation.

After seemingly a while, Kamui eventually brushed the tip of the sword away from his neck. This was ridiculous. All these times, he had fought it within himself to erase her existence from his mind. He had strengthened his will not to think of her ( _always failed, didn't_ you?). He had suppressed all the urges to touch and hug and kiss and be with her, all these resolves… he had successfully made it. Kamui did not know who eventually gave away the information of his presence on earth to Soyo (ah, _his cheeky sister, of course_ ), but one thing for sure, he did not have time for this.

He had stronger resolve than this.

Wordlessly, he got up and turned his body around. Abuto was certainly not on his side this time but that did not matter. This yard was not an official spaceship terminal and there were no other spaceships around. But a couple of blocks away was the actual terminal and he could jump into one of the spaceships that could take him away. Where to, it did not matter, for so long that he could get away.

But the sword was swung to the side of his neck again. It stopped before it could tear his skin, but he could very much feel the cold metal side on the left side of his neck.

He chuckled. With his back still facing her, he coldly told the stubborn kid.

"I don't have time to play with you."

There was no deter in the voice of the sword holder. "Didn't you hear me?" the voice so feminine ( _Goodness, just how much he had missed that voice?_ ) resonated behind him. It was clear. It was determined. "I'm not here to play either, Kamui. I'm here to challenge you in a fight."

Whoever gave this brat the ridiculous idea to play around… it did not matter to Kamui. He was not going to be some former princess' playtime during her boredom period.

"This is ridicul –aww!" Kamui screamed when he felt a medium-sized rock was thrown to the back of his head. In reflex, he nursed the back of his head and turned around to see that the girl cladded in kimono still had her sword pointed at him, andsome more rocks on her other hand. He hissed, "That hurts!"

Soyo gave no response, and if anything, just threw another rock –this time, it hit his chest in one powerful launch. Then another. And another.

Kamui could easily dodge each of it, but he was more pissed at her actions, that when she finally ran out of rock, he snapped at her, "What are you, a _child_?"

"At least I'm not a coward," Soyo icily said. "I might be a brat. I might be foolish. But at least I stop being a coward and I'm here to face and settle everything off."

Gone was all the playfulness. Even Kamui thought he had enough of all this nonsense.

"Everything's been settled that day, and you should have left it that way," he returned the statement equally as cold.

"Kamui –"

He had just turned his back against her, but on the whiff of impulsiveness, he decided to confront this brat again. A cheerful smile so wide, it stretched from ear to ear, was presented on his face. He saw her halt. He saw her hesitate.

Good.

And let him add more salt to the wound.

"I'm sorry, brat," he took the initiative to speak the words again. "It has been _years._ It was fun playing and spending all those times with you back then," he shrugged so nonchalantly and sealed his heart so tight, because the pain that crossed her eyes did nothing to deter his will. No. Never. _Could not_. "It's over now. We might have shared something back then, and I'm sorry if I gave you false hope, but," he chuckled and the words that were rolled out of his tongue stung him more than it might have stung her. "But you think everything is still the same?"

He could see Soyo flinch; and it took Kamui all his own willpower to assure himself.

"You think I, what, _love_ you?" he chuckled, and he gritted his teeth even tighter because that was the only way to suppress the sudden tightness in his chest. "Maybe I did. But now I…" he shook his head again. "Now I'm only –"

 _crazy about you. Longing for you. Having you and your voice haunting my dreams in night and the memory is the only thing I could have. Do you know how much I want to go back? Do you know how much I've been keeping it all in? Do you know how much of an insane man you've made me be? Do you know how much I want to hold you, and hug you, and kiss you, and be with you, but I can't? Do you know just how much you've always, always–_

Even gritting his teeth did not enable him to shake off all the misery _she_ had put him through all these years. And looking at her ( _ah, still the prettiest thing he had ever laid his eyes on, still the brightest sun in his darkest heart_ ) _,_ it did him no repair. If anything, Kamui thought he would break and break more with every sight of her, and…

…he just needed to stop.

So he walked away again.

"If you no longer care about me, then why did you save me back then?!" Soyo screamed at his back. "No, why you were even there?! You could have left me die drowning, yet you couldn't. That must have meant something, right?!"

Kamui fought the urge to roll his eyes. It seemed that the earth policeman could not help himself from keeping the secret. "Just a retribution, don't read too much into it," he nonchalantly said. "I nearly killed you back then. The least I could do was to pay it off. Anyway, I don't have time to play with you. Got a spaceship to catch, so good bye. Please don't meddle with me anymore."

Soyo wasted no time to swing her sword again to him. But this time, he had caught the sword at ease and pulled it off her. The action brought her closer to him, and her familiar scent infiltrated his nose –it really took all his self-control to just stop before he went completely mad.

"Your game ends today, Brat," he hissed his warning.

"I won't let it end, Kamui," Soyo said haughtily as she grabbed the hilt and pulled the sword back from his grip. It sliced the skin of his palm, and he grimaced slightly, but she did not care. Little injury like that was nothing to the hole he had created in her all these years. "I won't let it end," she assured him.

He sighed as he shoved her body away from him ( _too close, a second more too close, and he might fall to her again_ ). "What does it take to make you stop pestering onto me?" he growled.

 _What does it take to make me forget you? What does it take to make you disappear from my dreams and nightmares? What does it take for you to stop haunting my days and night, princess?_

"I told you. A fair and square fight."

Even Kamui had to chuckle at that. "Are you freaking serious?"

"Do I look like I'm kidding?" Soyo demanded without a trace of smile on her face. "You're not the only one. I also want to escape this, Kamui. It's making me crazy. _You're_ making me crazy."

"You're already crazy to begin with. Don't put the blame on me," he spat back and thought that he needed to correct her more. Besides, who did she think she was? Who did she think was making _him_ crazy all these time then?

"Settle this one once and for all," Soyo never backed down. "Fight me. If you win, you may go. And if I win, you have to stay here by my side."

Kamui widened his eyes. He had asked this question before, but he thought there was no harm in asking it _again._ After all, the brat had just waged the most ridiculously impossible bet ever. " _Are you freaking serious_?"

Soyo only raised an eyebrow. "Yes. What? You're scared you'll be defeated by a girl?"

Kamui chuckled and shook his head in disbelief. Soyo did not share the amusement, so he decided to laugh out loud on her behalf too. When she did not share his laugh, when she still did not lower her sword, Kamui halted his laugh immediately and told her straight to the point.

"Objectively speaking, and no matter in what perspective you see it, you can never win against me, _brat_."

Soyo rolled her eyes. "I thought I told you I don't like being called a 'brat'."

Kamui scoffed. "Well, you are a brat! A ridiculous one and –whoa!" he took a step back when her sword was swung forward towards his face. It made another light scratch on his cheek and he stared at her completely speechless. "Come on _._ You don't seriously think you can win against me?"

"Who knows? Maybe I've grown stronger over the years? Why don't you try to find out? Got your umbrella ready? Want to try shooting me like the first time we met?" she sarcastically challenged.

He shook his head when he saw her readying herself for another lunge forward. "Fine. I can finish this in a second," he muttered to himself.

It was easy for him to kill. It was easy for him to win. Soyo might have lunged forward, but it did not require Kamui a single drop of sweat to jump off before her sword could pierce him. He did a salto in the air and stealthily landed behind her, and quickly, he knocked the tender spot of her nape.

She grunted when the side of his hand made the hit on her nape to make her unconscious. He winced. He did not want to do this again to her, but some brats needed to really learn.

Soyo stumbled down, and Kamui knew it would take only a few more seconds for her to lose consciousness, but then she made her next unpredictable move.

She used her own sword to stab her own thigh.

Kamui widened his eyes as Soyo fell to her knees and rasped out of breath. Princess was never meant for battles. And he knew that she was never physically anything above the ordinary in battle, but what she had just done just further confirmed his legitimate belief.

"Are you crazy?!" he shouted for the umpteenth time.

The blood might have been a blur against her own red kimono, but Kamui had witnessed how the sword was stabbed to her own thigh. All just for the sake of –

"You think you can use the same trick twice?" she groaned. Fallen to her knees, Soyo was –but the fire in her eyes never dimmed down. " _Coward_ ," she mocked him again. "You tried to knock me unconscious again? A little bit of pain and I can keep myself conscious. I've learned, Kamui."

The shock in his eyes never left as he stared at this…this utterly unbelievable sadistic, cunning, mischievous, unpredictable young girl who had always, and always ruined his whole world and…

Soyo planted her own sword to the ground and used it to aid her stand. She stood limply with one her thigh injured, but she stood strong. She stood unwavering. "Go ahead. Try knocking me unconscious again. All I need is just to tear a bit of my own flesh. It means _nothing._ It means nothing if I can just win over you."

"You're …" he was baffled. "You're _insane_."

A sweet smile finally crossed her face. "How nostalgic. I was and I am, right?" she paused before her eyes narrowed again for her next round of determination. "You're still not taking the initiative to attack? Fine _,"_ she decided as she charged in.

Still baffled, Kamui avoided each and every single swing of Soyo's sword. It was easy. Her moves were always those of a novice, and he knew that _she knew_ she could never win against him. And perhaps she really was as manipulative as she had always been. She knew that he would not try to make her unconscious again if it was at the stake of her stabbing her own body. And he knew he could never lay any real harm on her. This damn woman, this witch, this wrecked kid, this vixen, this –

Kamui must have been too distracted with the whole ordeal, with this opponent that was physically not even one-hundredth stronger than him, but whose fire would always manage to burn him down, that he did not really realize her next move. Soyo suddenly ducked down and swept her leg as hard as she could to topple him.

Kamui felt the gravity brought him down, and then his back hit the ground, and then he saw the sun, before her body shadowed over his.

"You were open," she muttered quickly. Breaths labored, she quickly jumped onto his laying form and straddled both his sides to lock him. Her kimono was swept open slightly and her sword was pointed straight onto his throat again.

 _What the hell?_

Her long black hair fell onto him; it touched his cheek. He smelled the blood, sensed the monster and Kamui could not really do anything but to gaze up in complete surprise at the demon that was looking down at him.

"Do you yield?" Soyo asked as she pressed her sword closer to Kamui's throat.

Kamui narrowed his eyes, and while the whole thing was still beyond _ridiculous,_ he refused to acknowledge her victory. Even more so when her victory meant that he had to stay by her side –because he just _could not._

( _I could not stay by your side. Don't you see? You're better off without me, why can't you understand that?_ )

"Don't get cocky, brat," Kamui grunted as he effortlessly pushed her body aside, grabbed her sword, and turned the position over. Soyo was now laying on the ground and he was the one straddling her on this open yard in the middle of the day. The memory of the last time he was this close to her nearly made him lose his resolve again. But he had to get the message across. He would never hurt her, no he could not. But he just needed to threaten her, to make her see that –

Soyo quickly flung her knee up and it met Kamui's groin in one painful jab. Kamui groaned and whined and cursed. Soyo made no waste of movement and she quickly jumped towards Kamui again. The sword was forgotten and while he was still trying to hold the pain in his nether area, he also tried to get her off him.

He might have clawed her in the process, probably brushed his knuckles against her. The rough sandy ground scrapped each of their backs in turns. On his part, they were all unintentional. On her part, the pain she inflicted on him were all intentional. He tried to control his power, but she gave it her all. By the time he realized it, she was still straddling him, but no longer was there a poised young princess above him.

What was there was a woman whose black hair was such in a complete disarray, whose kimono was slightly loose due to all the frantic movement –far from elegant and grace, whose face was marred by the dirt, and whose lips were slightly cut somewhere in the middle of the struggling.

What was there was a witch, a monster, a demon.

What was there was the only woman he could sell his soul and be damned for eternity for.

Kamui sighed. He thought he wanteed to reprimand this girl with his usual derogatory nickname of 'Brat', but he had enough.

"Soyo," he called, and the name was both the lightest and heaviest thing to roll out on the tip of his tongue. It both quenched his thirst and starved him. It was both the air he needed and the poison he could not inhale. "Soyo," he repeated and he sensed her shoulders trembled. And he could feel his own voice was cracking too. " _Soyo,_ please. It's enough. I don't, I _can't_ hurt you more than this. Why won't you understa –"

"No!" she screamed and he was fazed. "No, you _shut up,_ Kamui. You're the one who should understand and fucking listen to me, you hear me, you pussy?!"

The vulgar words, the threats, everything that was inappropriate that had just been spoken by the once most respected woman on this land made him gape his mouth wide open.

Soyo did not care. She did not care she had become the most foolish, _desperate_ kind of woman her people would probably never have approved of. Jiiya's teaching for her to be graceful and poised, Kageshita's sincere wish for her to be happy, Kagura and Okita's constant warning against him, even her dearest brother's probable wish for her to find a decent man to be with… she did not care.

Kamui was anything but decent. Kamui was a villain, and no matter how much he might have tried to redeem himself, nothing would erase the fact that he was once a blood-thirsty killer who had slaughtered many. There was no excuse for him. There was no mercy for him. Just as there was no excuse nor mery for her.

 _But didn't I tell you? I will bear your sins for you, for us. I will…_

Big droplets of tears fell from her eyes onto his face and Soyo gritted her teeth in the utmost frustration.

"A-all these times, all these years, have you ever wondered how much I was _struggling,_ Kamui? Yes, everything else was okay. Yes, the Edo I love is growing back. Yes, my friends are all by my side and all are safe and all want me safe and I love them. But no matter what, no matter how fulfilling, no matter how I should have been one grateful brat, I could not, never could, erase the emptiness I continuously feel in my heart," she sobbed. "Do you know how much I suffer?! Do you know how painfully devastating each day has been when you're not here? When I don't even know whether you're alive or not? When I can't have you, because I, no, because you, y-you…"

His heart tightened at the sight of this young _kid_ bawling her eyes out.

"It's empty," she continued. "It's hollow. You've had me in your curse. I-I can't… I want to be by your side so much it hurts, it's _killing_ me. Do you freaking know how much you've ruined me?!"

He stared up at her and the words that was stuck at the end of his throat only came out in much difficulty.

"Soyo, I…" he clicked his tongue in equal frustration, in equal desperation. "You really _don't_ understand. I want you. I desire you. But…"

( _You will, with your own two hands, destroy everything that it is you desire_ )

Housen's words to him were not a curse. Housen's words to him was a premonition. It had been proven, and Kamui never had the heart to destroy ( _again_ ) the only thing he wanted to hold within his arms.

"But I can'twant you, you see?!" he screamed back. "I've hurt you. I've nearly killed you. I can't. I don't deserve being with –"

His speech was cut when he felt her small hands were both grabbing his collars. She drew him close, and still wide-eyed, he again witnessed how much she was so _fed up_ with all of these.

"Bullshit, don't claim you're doing this for me, Kamui!" she yelled. She yanked him and shook him –even nearly slamming his head to the ground. She let her grip around his collars go, but Soyo slightly untightened her sash. His eyes widened when the princess –now anything but prim and proper, loosened the front part of her kimono, grabbed his hand and forced him to feel that uneven skin on her stomach.

The scar. The scar on her stomach which he made with his own two hands…

"Your doing, right?" Soyo venomously reminded. "Yes, it hurts. Yes, it stings. Yes, it almost killed me four years ago," she continued as she pressed her hand on top of his for him to feel, to remember the damage he had done to her body. "And the scar sometimes continues to burn me all these years. You're right. It is _your_ hands that did this to me."

Kamui winced at her confession. Quickly taking his hand off her grasp, he decided to spat back. "Then you understand, don't you?!"he shouted. "You understand that I can't be with you because I can only hurt you and –"

"But here," Soyo interrupted as she pressed her finger to the spot on her left chest. " _Here,_ it burns a hundred times more."

Kamui's next word died on his throat.

"It _hurts_ so much more here when you're not with me," Soyo said with teeth clenched so tight. She was an ugly sight now, but she did not mind being ugly, if only he could see, if only he could _understand._ " _Kamui_ ," she rasped and she brought both her hands to cover her face because even now that she could see him, it would mean nothing and it would burn her whole everything if Kamui still did not get it, if Kamui still refused to be by her side even after this. "Kamui, _please,"_ she cried. " _Please_ understand. Please understand that only you…this hole in my heart can only be filled by you."

She continued to cry then. He continued to stare up at her.

Soyo hiccupped. "And I don't care that I'm being stupid. I'm being desperate, or a brat, or a monster, or a demon, I don't care. I really don't, because I-I…"

Her cries had diminished into trembles. She still could not take her hands off her face to see him. It still hurt. It still –

She heard a laugh.

A demonic, psychotic laugh that came from beneath her. Kamui. After all of these, and the only response she got from him was his _laugh._

Angry, Soyo pulled her hands off her face and was ready to spat crueler words to this spiteful demon back. But what she saw beneath her was not a demon.

What she saw was a boy, whose face was so helpless, whose eyes were also equally as exhausted. What she saw was only a boy who had suffered equally as much all these time.

 _Can I? Can you accept me for who I am? Am I allowed to be by your side? Do I deserve your mercy? Can I really love you, princess?_

Kamui had both his hands on the side of his head, palms open and were facing her. A sad smile was spread on his face as he noted slowly, fondly, carefully, _dearly._

"Brat," he began, defeated. "…I can never win against you, can I?"

 _("Fight me. If you win, you may go. And if I win, you have to stay here by my side.")_

Soyo stared dumfounded at the orange-haired man. Only then that she had the chance to really look into him, to the face that had filled her waking days and sleeping nights. Not much had changed. Still the same childish-looking face, still the same hairstyle… He might have grown taller, and maybe four years had changed something from him, she did not know, but…

 _Could she know?_

"Y-you mean it?" she stammered. "Y-you will stay by my side?"

A faint smile was his reply. He had closed his eyes, but when he opened them again, they were the clear, determined shade of blue she could get lost forever. "Yes," he confirmed. "I too," he tried to reach out his finger to her. If she refused him, by all means, he would accept it. But if he was allowed to, if he could, he only had one wish:

"This emptiness in my heart, it can only be filled by you."

And before Kamui could speak of anything else, before he could do it himself, Soyo grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulled him up, and pressed her lips strongly onto his.

It scorched.

Kamui widened his eyes. It was one sunny day, but not even the sun could burn him more than this girl's presence. It had been _too long._ Kamui did not even realize he missed this one thing until he was allowed to touch it again. And the fire, the kiss –it was sloppier than he last remembered, but it was everything he had ever wanted. Her lips were trembling and he could even taste the saltiness of the tears on her lips. But the longing, the desire, the _relief_ were translated blatantly into the kiss and he felt his stomach churned and his knees weak, and…

… _how could he even think he could live without her?_

He was a monster, and she was probably nothing better. In each other they might have been cursed together, forsaken forever. The world would probably judge them; people would probably never truly accept them. He was rough around the edges and she was nothing perfect either.

But no matter how rough, no matter how wrong, no matter how imperfect, they were still each other's missing piece of puzzle. And for this imperfection that was so perfect, they would embrace it. And even if Housen already cast his curse, Kamui would do all it took to break it.

( _So I promise, this time_ _I will, with my own two hands, protect you, the one that I cherish)_

Soyo pulled herself away from the kiss and Kamui's heart already yearned for more. But she kept her face close to him, so close that they could hear each other's breathing, feel each other's skin, be burned and be damned and be cursed by each other's presence.

"I," Kamui rasped as their noses touched each other and he snaked both his palms to cup each side of her cheek. So warm, so alive, flesh and blood and so much more than the reverie imagination of her that had kept him company all these years. Her chocolate eyes were still brimming with tears, but her face had been brightened by the smile he had missed so dearly. He chuckled. "You're okay if I can't let you go after this?" Kamui noted fondly as he caressed her cheek. "Because now, I don't think I can hold myself back anymore."

Soyo smirked. "Do you really need to ask?"

Her. She glowed to him. Every sight of her really caught his breath away.

And when he arched his back up to claim her lips again, she all but accepted it. It filled her. It completed him. Kamui never let go of her lips as he pushed himself up from the ground and he wrapped her arms on Soyo's back, supporting her as he kissed deeper and lower, because he just… missed these all so much. He kissed her with all the passion he had, all the desire he hid, and all the feeling he thought he could stop growing. Her lips were always the unholiest thing he had ever tasted, and for that reason, he knew he could not get enough of her. So he sucked the sweet petals of her lips.

Soyo moaned when she felt Kamui's tongue went pass her lips and her heart did all the somersault in the brink that made her feel like she could not breathe. Her moan did nothing to slow his blood down, and he did not think he could get enough. And he wanted her, so much, _so damn much,_ because he knew that she wanted him equally as much.

But a sudden clearing of throat was heard. With much annoyance and reluctance, Kamui pulled himself away from Soyo just to see Okita glancing down at them.

"I don't normally interfere in this kind of thing, but this time I regretfully _have_ to," in deadpan tone, Okita said the exact same words he had used to interrupt them on their first kiss years ago. "I might wish only happy thing for Hime-sama, but that doesn't mean I can allow this level of indecency to my master, _Villain_."

Kamui rolled his eyes and only latched himself onto Soyo even more so possessively. "Ah. Should you really be this strict to your own _brother-in-law_?" Kamui snickered.

Soyo chuckled but she pushed herself away from Kamui, much to the latter's dismay. "Well, Okita-san is right. It's kind of indecent for us to do it here and –"

"Oh, the hell with decent," Kamui insisted as he grabbed Soyo's waist and pressed her closer to his embrace. And before Soyo could say a word, Kamui buried his lips on her nape and unashamedly kissed her on the spot that made her immediately yelp. "The brat and I are never a model couple anyway. But you're free to watch if you can bear it, Brother-in-law," Kamui said with a smirk before he continued to nuzzle on Soyo's nape.

Okita rolled his eyes but eventually decided to turn his back on the stupid duo and walk away.

"Asshole. Wait until I let your sister knows about this."

* * *

Soyo did not particularly see things in black or white (and how could she, when the thirst in her soul could only be quenched by a man as contradictive as him?). And Kamui registered limited things in his memory (but _her,_ he swore, would not only be registered in his memory. He would carve her in every cell of his brain and burn her existence in his soul).

But the moment she surrendered herself to him and the moment he was drowned in her, sometimes he wondered.

"Does it stop here?" Kamui asked, and he wished for the eternity, even a cursed future would do, for so long that he was sharing it with her.

Soyo smiled and her hands gently cupped his cheeks as she promised.

"It does not."

* * *

 **What Pumps the Blood (Faster)**

 **-End-**

* * *

A/n: There you go folks! Thank you for staying with me until the end despite all the cliffhanger and the multiple errors, OOC, delusions, and craps I have in this fic.

But mostly, thank you for giving Kamusoyo a chance. I know that this ship is problematic and it has gained a large number of haters, and while it may not be canon, I wholeheartedly believe there could be a strong foundation for these two. Though delayed over the years, it has been such a fulfilling experience to write about them and give my own rendition of what their relationship could be. I might not write another Kamusoyo fic in the future, but I do hope to read about them more, so if for some morbid delusion I have turned some of you into their shipper, I'd love to read stories about them in the future :) One thing for sure, I will always ship them because they have sealed the deal for me. Kamusoyo ftw!


End file.
